LukeKatarn Posted April 7, 2004 Share Posted April 7, 2004 One thing before you read there might be alot of spelling errorers. Preloge 5 years after the second Death star was destroyed a new threat is comeing they call them selves the Sagheyers. CHAPTER 1 THE COMEING At the Jedi acadamy on Dantooine the studnts are training well but among them was a student known as Gav Baser. Gav was very strong in the force and he is only 16. One day Gavs master called Hurg Hak took him out to the crystal caves to make a light saber but Gav must enter alone. Gav enters the construction of his lightsaber was goin well when he was attacked by some strange people! Gavtryed with all his might to stop them but the people just were not effected by the force one person went up to Gav and said "Join us the dark side is powerful." but Gav refused the person knocked Gav unconchiss when he awakend all the crystals where gone except the one in his lightsaber! Gav left the caves and saw his master dead on the ground Gav started weaping "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO." said Gav Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LukeKatarn Posted April 8, 2004 Author Share Posted April 8, 2004 Chapter 2 Anger Gav returns to the acadamy filled with anger a red aura surrounds him (It is Dark Rage from JKA)! The master of the acadamy Reg Saf tells him to stop to keep the anger undercontrol "Anger leads to hate Hate leads to Suffering." said Reg. Gav started to go throu the struggle of Light and Dark! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LukeKatarn Posted April 8, 2004 Author Share Posted April 8, 2004 This chapter all takes place in Gavs mind. CHAPTER 3 THE STRUGGLE Thus the struggle begins! Gav is in a room with a man (A jedi/Sith) the man asks him Which power does he prefer Absorb or Dark Rage? Gav anwsers DR the next thing the man asks is which power do you prefer Heal or lightning? Gav anwsered Heal. the next thing asked was whick do you prefer grip or mind trick? Gav anwsered Grip The next thing asked was which do you prefer Protect or Absorb? Gav anwsered Protect the last thing asked was qhich do you prefer peace or POWER This tore Gav apart he knows that the light side is right but he wants Power and revenge for his frind named Fraw Gadev. Frew got killed by the jedi by accident because he got in the way of a duel betwean his perents who were DJs and some jedi thus dieing. In the End He could not decide untill a spirit appeared it was the spirit of Fraw Fraw said this "Is this the life you want by killing innocent people do you think that is how I would want do not do it turn to the light." the spirit slowly dissappered "ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH." said Gav in the end he chose he decided to be (The suspense) A protecter of the Galaxy and he started to awaken into the real world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LukeKatarn Posted April 8, 2004 Author Share Posted April 8, 2004 Come on give me feed back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LukeKatarn Posted April 8, 2004 Author Share Posted April 8, 2004 Conclusion to chapter 3 But was this the last we have seen of the dark presence in Gav? only time will tell. Chapter 4 The Awakening Gav woke up he saw two images one of Reg Saf the other of Kager Forn(Kager Forn is the Kyle Katarn of the acadamy). "Glad to see you are awake." said Kager "I had this strange dream." said Gav "What was it." said Reg so Gav explained gis dream "So that is why I sensed the dark side in you when you were a sleap." said Reg "Well your own lightsaber so lets begin training." said Kager "We?" said Gav "Yes I re reassaigned you to master Forn." said Reg so Kager Forn and Gav Baser started training. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sabretooth Posted April 9, 2004 Share Posted April 9, 2004 Yes, not bad. I like it. You have the potential to be a good writer. Keep up the good work and make the chapters slightly longer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ziechel Posted April 9, 2004 Share Posted April 9, 2004 cool, I like it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doomie Posted April 9, 2004 Share Posted April 9, 2004 Yes, a little longer chapters and try to do something about the spelling. It will be easier to read then. But i like the storyline. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LukeKatarn Posted April 9, 2004 Author Share Posted April 9, 2004 Thanks for the feedback I am working on spelling it is starting to improve. Chapter 4 Training Gav and Kager are at the training grounds "Alright Gav it is time to train you with a lightsaber." said Kager some Remotes came out Gav was doing well untill the last remote came out Gav could not hit it he tryed and tryed but could not get it then he tried something he threw his lightsaber and it hit. "Good." said Kager but can you handle an opponent a droid came out with a stun saber "Yes I can master Forn." said Gav "Just call me Kager." said Kager. First Gav did a downward slash the droid blocked it then the droid did a side slash Gav blocked and following Gavs block Gav did a upward strike spting theroid in two. "Good Gav." said Kager "Thanyou Maste... er Kager." Reg enters the training grounds "I looked at the caves and found this." said Reg "What is that?" asked Gav "I belive it is a device to steal force power and absorb power from lightsaber crystals "Is that possible?" asked Gav "Very possible." said Kager "Well lets go inside we willl further disscuss this in my meditation chambers." said Reg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LukeKatarn Posted April 9, 2004 Author Share Posted April 9, 2004 Chapter 5 The Meeting I heve brought you all here because we have to disscuss this matter. The crystals where stolen along with some of the strong power of the force I belive that they went to the planet Kaw-Jad so Gav and Kager I am sending you there after the meeting." Gav and Kager nod "The force is a strange thing and its many mystereys amaze me we have nothing more to disscuss untilll we learn more" Reg said so Gav and Kager leave and go to Kaw-Jad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LukeKatarn Posted April 10, 2004 Author Share Posted April 10, 2004 Chapter 6 Kaw-Jad Gav and Kager enter orbit around Kaw-Jad when they got attacked by a star destroyer "I thought the empire was destroyed." said Gav "Me too." said Kager the stardestroyer captured the shuttel (that Kager and Gav where on) in its tractor beam! The shuttel arrives in the hanger then 1,000 storm troopers came storming to the hanger "I have a bad feeling about this." said Kager "Come out with your hands up." said an officer the jedi did all the storm troopers pointed there guns to Kager and Gav a group of troopers took there lightsabers. Gav and Kager where thrown in a cell the troopers who put them in there locked the door and left. Kager was able to get loose a vent in his cell Gav and Kager entered the vent shaft the shaft led to the armory. Gav and Kager entered the armory and grabed their lightsabers then left. Gav and Kager got to their ship without antone knowing and the troopers turned off the tractor beam because the jedi were captured so Gav and Kager enter there ship and land on Kaw-Jad. Gav and Kager explore a local cantina but there is no sign of the Sagheyers "Well that was an adventure but there is nothing here so lets return to Dantooine." Gav and Kager return to the acadamy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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