Guest Lord Tirion Posted October 5, 2001 Share Posted October 5, 2001 1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP? AT&T FIRED President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence. 2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS: Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting "Please come out and give yourself up." 3. WHAT WAS PLAN B??? An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank 4. THE GETAWAY! A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop, and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him. 5. DID I SAY THAT??? Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words, "Give me all your money or I'll shoot," the man shouted, "that's not what I said!" 6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING?? A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No!", the man shouted, "this is her husband!". 7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!! In Modesto, California, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellllllooooooo!) 8. THE GRAND FINALE Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, California, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 ft. Bayliner to perform. It wouldn't get on a plane at all, and it was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power was applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putt-putted to a nearby marina, thinking someone there could tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the outdrive went up and down, the prop was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard... NOW REMEMBER THIS IS TRUE.... Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darthfergie Posted October 5, 2001 Share Posted October 5, 2001 Originally posted by Tirion *Nexsis* 2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS: Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting "Please come out and give yourself up." 8. THE GRAND FINALE Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, California, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 ft. Bayliner to perform. It wouldn't get on a plane at all, and it was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power was applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putt-putted to a nearby marina, thinking someone there could tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the outdrive went up and down, the prop was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard... NOW REMEMBER THIS IS TRUE.... Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer. ROTFL!!!! Oh #2 was GREAT!!! In the police line...Oh too good *lol* but #8 took the cake *lol*...Trailer *lol* Losers *lol* Oh...*lol*...can't...*lol*...stop...*lol*...laughing...*rotfl* STUPIDITY REIGNS SUPREME!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest oninosensi Posted October 5, 2001 Share Posted October 5, 2001 Those are old. Check out darwinawards.com. What is there makes those look mild! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lord Tirion Posted October 5, 2001 Share Posted October 5, 2001 These crack me up lol.. i still like the one when the thief threw a brick to break into a store, the brick hit the glass, which turned out to be plexy glass.. came back and smacked him in the head knocking him out for the police to catch him lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest crazy_dog Posted October 5, 2001 Share Posted October 5, 2001 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Admiral Odin Posted October 5, 2001 Share Posted October 5, 2001 up Darwinawards has the best. But these aren't bad at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tie Guy Posted October 5, 2001 Share Posted October 5, 2001 LOL I got one A man in Arkansas was arrested for trying to pass counterfeight $14 bills. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JEDI_MASTA Posted October 5, 2001 Share Posted October 5, 2001 Originally posted by darthfergie ROTFL!!!! Oh #2 was GREAT!!! In the police line...Oh too good *lol* but #8 took the cake *lol*...Trailer *lol* Losers *lol* Oh...*lol*...can't...*lol*...stop...*lol*...laughing...*rotfl* STUPIDITY REIGNS SUPREME!!! nice stuff tirion i just hafta differ with fergie because if stupidity reigns supreme then wed hafta put viper in charge:rolleyes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tie Guy Posted October 5, 2001 Share Posted October 5, 2001 Originally posted by darthfergie ROTFL!!!! Oh #2 was GREAT!!! In the police line...Oh too good *lol* but #8 took the cake *lol*...Trailer *lol* Losers *lol* Oh...*lol*...can't...*lol*...stop...*lol*...laughing...*rotfl* STUPIDITY REIGNS SUPREME!!! Well, you know what they always say.... "Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dagobahn Eagle Posted October 6, 2001 Share Posted October 6, 2001 People in a neighbourhood were angry. The problem? The buses didn't stop at the bus stops! However, the bus company had an explanation: If they stopped at the bus stop, the timetables wouldn't be accurate! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest xwing guy Posted October 6, 2001 Share Posted October 6, 2001 Those are funny. HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EndSub Posted October 6, 2001 Share Posted October 6, 2001 "The Difference Between Stupidity And Genious, Is That Genious Has Its Limits" - can't remember....I think it was Albert Einstien... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Admiral Odin Posted October 6, 2001 Share Posted October 6, 2001 Don't you love stupid people. They provide so much entertainment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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