Sokolov Posted October 22, 2005 Posted October 22, 2005 I actually went to Goodwill today. The scariest thing I saw was an old lady in tight, red clothes and crazy, high, stringy blond hair. I want some excitement. Ok. Let me set up one: ~Many Moons Ago~ The buzzer thing goes off and I go to take a donation. I open the door and hear: "I'd like to drop some stuff off, please." in a very deep, gravel-y man voice. I look up to see a 300-400 pound woman standing there. I later learned he/she was in the middle of a sex change. She donated his man clothes which included tighty whities with stains of all colors in very nasty places. They went promptly in the trash.
Purple Squid Posted October 22, 2005 Posted October 22, 2005 Ok. Let me set up one: ~Many Moons Ago~ The buzzer thing goes off and I go to take a donation. I open the door and hear: "I'd like to drop some stuff off, please." in a very deep, gravel-y man voice. I look up to see a 300-400 pound woman standing there. I later learned he/she was in the middle of a sex change. She donated his man clothes which included tighty whities with stains of all colors in very nasty places. They went promptly in the trash. .... I think I'm crying. No more stories, plz.
Sokolov Posted October 22, 2005 Posted October 22, 2005 .... I think I'm crying. No more stories, plz. Aw... but I have so many that are startlingly similar! My job is very... interesting.
Purple Squid Posted October 22, 2005 Posted October 22, 2005 Aw... but I have so many that are startlingly similar! My job is very... interesting. Sokolov. You scar my mind in the best of ways.
Sokolov Posted October 23, 2005 Posted October 23, 2005 Sokolov. You scar my mind in the best of ways. Must. SIG.
Purple Squid Posted October 23, 2005 Posted October 23, 2005 Aww. How sweet. I've been sigged by the best of tormenters. Really, I love to talk to you. So scary.
Sokolov Posted October 23, 2005 Posted October 23, 2005 Aww. How sweet. I've been sigged by the best of tormentors. Really, I love to talk to you. So scary. Look at me as a Jack-in-the-Box that has a big button labled 'random'. Push it and you never know what I will spew forth!
Purple Squid Posted October 23, 2005 Posted October 23, 2005 Look at me as a Jack-in-the-Box that has a big button labled 'random'. Push it and you never know what I will spew forth! But hopefully what spews forth isn't about innuendos or making fun of me. Because that would suck.
Sokolov Posted October 23, 2005 Posted October 23, 2005 But hopefully what spews forth isn't about innuendos or making fun of me. Because that would suck. I'm not to big at making fun of people; don't worry. Esp. if there's not much to make fun of.
Purple Squid Posted October 23, 2005 Posted October 23, 2005 I'm not to big at making fun of people; don't worry. Esp. if there's not much to make fun of. Perhaps. But I am innuendo'd quite often. Not that I mind. I do it all the time.
Sokolov Posted October 23, 2005 Posted October 23, 2005 Perhaps. But I am innuendo'd quite often. Not that I mind. I do it all the time. And remember kids, James Bond sez: "Anything can be penetrated with the right tool."
Purple Squid Posted October 23, 2005 Posted October 23, 2005 And remember kids, James Bond sez: "Anything can be penetrated with the right tool." ... You're killing me, man. Killing me. Of course, I didn't help much with 'everyone wants a piece of this man's crotch!'
Sokolov Posted October 23, 2005 Posted October 23, 2005 ... You're killing me, man. Killing me. Of course, I didn't help much with 'everyone wants a piece of this man's crotch!' Must be made of diamonds and gold dust, it duz!
Purple Squid Posted October 23, 2005 Posted October 23, 2005 Must be made of diamonds and gold dust, it duz! All of this crotch talk just makes me want a reply sooner. Do you think they've read it yet?
Sokolov Posted October 23, 2005 Posted October 23, 2005 All of this crotch talk just makes me want a reply sooner. Do you think they've read it yet? I wish I knew. Come on, DoubleFine! We need closure! Crotch closure!
Purple Squid Posted October 23, 2005 Posted October 23, 2005 I wish I knew. Come on, DoubleFine! We need closure! Crotch closure! Hmm. What will we do when/if they reply? Have a party? A Crotch Closure party?
Sokolov Posted October 23, 2005 Posted October 23, 2005 Hmm. What will we do when/if they reply? Have a party? A Crotch Closure party? If/when, look for a thread entitled "Crotch Closure!". The fanbase deserves an explaination about this poor man's crotch.
Purple Squid Posted October 23, 2005 Posted October 23, 2005 If/when, look for a thread entitled "Crotch Closure!". The fanbase deserves an explaination about this poor man's crotch. I was even thinking about a new thread called 'The Patch Countdown'. Where we talk about Tom's crotch until we get a reply. Of course, the mod might not be thrilled.
Sokolov Posted October 23, 2005 Posted October 23, 2005 I was even thinking about a new thread called 'The Patch Countdown'. Where we talk about Tom's crotch until we get a reply. Of course, the mod might not be thrilled. What mod?? (winkwink) It is sorta on topic. It IS in the game and IS such a major part of it, after all.
Purple Squid Posted October 23, 2005 Posted October 23, 2005 What mod?? (winkwink) It is sorta on topic. It IS in the game and IS such a major part of it, after all. I think I'd enjoy a level based on Tom's crotch. Hours of entertainment~! Think of the awesome.
Sokolov Posted October 23, 2005 Posted October 23, 2005 I think I'd enjoy a level based on Tom's crotch. Hours of entertainment~! Think of the awesome. That is the best thing I have heard all day. No kidding. We would call it: "Where Babies Come From". Or not. Ideas?
Purple Squid Posted October 23, 2005 Posted October 23, 2005 That is the best thing I have heard all day. No kidding. We would call it: "Where Babies Come From". Or not. Ideas? "Too Close to Dad". =D "The Birds and the Bees." I am having so much fun right now.
Purple Squid Posted October 23, 2005 Posted October 23, 2005 "Razputin: Ten Years Ago." Eww. ...Eww. Of course we could always base the level less on his crotch and more on his love-life. Raz must have a very strange mother, because not many girls go for the Rainbow Hobo look. She probably thinks the patch is hawt.
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