[Fic]An Inverse of Stars: Part One

[PazaakPrincess]

Some notes first: This is also posted at Kotorfanmedia.com as DarthPazaak, or will be when approved (just in case anyone wonders). This is an "alternate ending" and changes a few things at the end of the game in minor ways as any author I've taken a little liberty or "poetic license" to make my ideas and the kotor universe fit together.

 

Revan is female, LS and has completed the Carth romance portion of the story to this point, I warn any who are not insterested in that part of the story that it heavily influences this verion, however it is not simply a mush fest (I hope) and further parts will hopefully introduce a few very dramatic twists to the final outcome of Kotor. Since each part is several pages I've decided to post each in it's own thread with a few posts in each to break it up. Enjoy.

 

 

"What do you mean Tana isn't coming back Bastila?!" Carth snapped blocking the entrance to the Ebon Hawk. His eyes blazed with disbelief and anger. Bastila had appeared without Tana and to his dismay refused to answer any questions but only insisted that the woman he loved would not be coming with them.

 

The rest of the group took a step back from him. No one had seen Carth that angry before.

 

The Star Forge was falling down around them. It began to lean dangerously to the right and there was a loud groan of buckling metal over head. Mission gave out a small yelp as she lost her balance and Zalbaar roared as he put out his paw to steady her.

 

Canderous looked up at the ceiling and around at the debris cluttering the launch bay, they really didn't have time for this. Was he finally going to get his chance to plug a hole in the self righteous Republic Hero?

 

"Please Carth...there is no time...I cannot explain..." Bastila panted still out of breath having run the length and breadth of the Star Forge after her battle with Revan. She had been badly beaten by her nemesis, her friend, her redeemer. What had been done to save her from the Dark Side was inexplicable. She had not the words to describe it to anyone especially not Carth.

 

Bastila had known what had been developing between the soldier and the reformed Jedi throughout their journey to this final confrontation. When Revan had at last told Bastila that she loved Carth and that it was that love, that new hope which had kept her strong after discovering who she really was, it had broken the hold the dark side held on Bastila.

 

She looked at Carth now angry, confused and desperate. What had happened to Revan would break more then his heart. It might break his spirit entirely and she feared for him. She feared for them all if even after acheiving so much, including Bastila's redemption, someone like Revan could fall again so quickly.

 

Carth closed his eyes and set his jaw hard. He stood upright his legs spread equally apart, his blaster pointed directly at Bastila. He was good at what he did. He was fast and he was accurate. She might be dead before there was a chance to even think of force powers.

 

"If it takes all day, no one is going anywhere until someone explains why you have returned and she has not" He said in a low menacing voice.

 

Jolee squared his shoulders and calmly stepped in front of Carth's blaster, shielding Bastila.

 

"I will kill you old man" Carth hissed.

[PazaakPrincess]

"Many have tried son, you're not the first and you probably won't be the last" Jolee replied looking Carth calmly in the eyes. He believed the soldier's intentions but he also knew that killing Bastila would not fill the hole in Carth's heart, nothing but time could ever do that.

 

Carth felt all the dark things in the universe welling up inside of him threatening to take over. All his muscles tensed and a dark rage was sparking through his nerves. He was still hyped up on battle stimulant from his last round with a swarm of Sith minions. Yet he could feel it deep inside, in his very core, something was very wrong and if someone didn't tell him what he wanted to know soon there was going to be more then Sith blood painting the walls of the Star Forge.

 

"No more Jedi nonsense, where is Tana?!" Carth shouted.

 

Bastila took a deep breath, the only way out of this was to tell him but she feared what he would do.

 

"Carth...I can't...not here...Revan..." Bastila stammered, how could she ever convince him to leave without Revan?

 

"She's not Revan anymore!" He barked, " you and I both know that...now tell me what you've done with her". He was never going to accept that Revan had once again betrayed everything that he stood for.

 

The sound of Carth's blaster charging was unmistakeable "Quit stalling sister, tell me now or the old man gets it between the eyes"

 

"You wouldn't really? Would you Carth?" Mission cried out.

 

"That's not going to happen" Zalbaar snarled.

 

Carth glared at him "At this point I could care less what you do to me Wookie, if something has happened to Tana I want to know and I want to know now!"

 

"Please Bastila" Juhani said stepping forward

 

"We are all concerned for Tana. She is our friend and we cannot leave without her", her smooth Cathar voiced seemed to ease the tension momentarily.

 

"You must see how strange this all this is" Juhani said touching Bastila's arm lightly and pleading silently with her deep golden eyes.

 

Suddenly the emotion welled up in Bastila, it was all too much. She hung her head shielding her eyes so the others could not see her tears. They were all a bit shocked, even Carth was unnerved by this sudden release of emotion from Bastila. The blaster slowly dropped to his side. Zalbaar roared and Mission hugged his arm as they stared at Bastila in disbelief.

[PazaakPrincess]

Then he understood. Carth's face went pale, all the anger and anxiety falling away from him like a rush of water. He closed his eyes, "She's...she's dead isn't she?" he asked. His whole body seemed to go numb and the blaster fell to the floor at his feet. He dropped to one knee slowly and cradled his face in his hands. There wasn't even enough will inside him for tears.

 

She was dead. The thought echoed in his mind. He had lived only to destroy Saul but Tana had given him something else to live for. She had restored his son to him and she had given him hope. For two years he had lived in a dark cloud only lighted by revenge. He had expected to die himself and had given up on the future. Now the future truly was gone.

 

He could still smell the slight perfume of her hair on his gloves. He had held her one last time before she had parted from him. He had stroked her long dark hair and kissed her forehead. They had never even...

 

Leaping to his feet he drew his secondary blaster. His hatred fuelled by a powerful sense of loss he wanted to pour his grief into everything and everyone and he wanted to make Bastila pay. She had known all along that Tana was Revan and never said a word. Then she had betrayed them all and now she was back but without the one thing that really mattered to him. She was responsible for all of this.

 

"She's dead and that can only be because you killed her!" He cried pressing his finger against the hair trigger.

 

Before he managed to fire, Jolee force pushed Carth just enough so that he fell back on the Ebon Hawk's gangway, the blaster dangled awkwardly on one finger. He was stunned and blinked a few times. All the wind had been knocked out of him and there was no breath to talk. He gasped and then lay his head back on the hard, cold metal and closed his eyes. He no longer cared, if she was dead, he wanted to be dead too.

 

Canderous strolled over to the fallen soldier and looked down at him "pitiful" he muttered.

 

"I can put you out of <i>our</i> misery, if it will help ease the pain" He snarled holding up his riffle.

 

"Please stop! You don't understand!" Bastila cried rushing over to Canderous and pushing the muzzle of his Riffle toward the floor.

 

"She's not dead" She gulped, trying to compose herself.

 

Carth opened his eyes. He found enough strength to sit up.

 

"She gave herself to Malak" she said more calmly looking down at Carth, she knew the words hurt him deeply but there was no other way then the truth. She had been reckless before, hiding Tana's true identity and masking the purposes of the council. Carth had been so tormented by the idea of falling in love with the one person ultimately responsible for all his sorrow and yet losing Tana now hurt more then any previous pain he had ever suffered.

[PazaakPrincess]

Juhani gasped.

 

"whoa" whispered Mission looking up at her giant Wookie companion who let out a soft howl of dispair.

 

"This, this certainly is terrible news" Jolee said bewildered.

 

Canderous said nothing his demeanor betraying nothing as usual.

 

Carth pushed himself up to his feet he was a little wobbly and grabbed hold of one of the hydraulic rods that lowered the gangway, If he weren't so disoriented by grief and disbelief he could have punched her in the mouth right there and then.

 

"What do you mean, gave herself to him?" he demanded.

 

She placed her right palm on her chest, "I swear...I do not know why but Malak came to me and healed me and told me to go and never return...and Tana" she shook her head still not believing herself what had transpired "she...she stayed with him".

 

"I don't believe you!" Carth snapped, "she would never give in to that...that...walking vending machine" The desire to strike her down was tenfold, the only thing stopping him was the business end of Canderous's riffle less then a foot away from him.

 

"We fought." Bastila said straightening her back. She wasn't proud of what she had done. She had fallen to the dark side the very thing she thought could never happen to her of all Jedi. She had tried to destroy her friends and the Republic. She had used her own carefully honed Jedi powers for ill instead of good.

 

" Rev..."She stopped looking at Carth gravely, "Tana should have killed me. She bested me. She would not destroy me; she tried to bring me back to the light." She looked away from him, she was ashamed and his eyes were wild and impatient waiting for an explanation. He blamed her for all of this, perhaps Tana would have been more prepared to face Malak if she had not expended so much effort trying to save Bastila. Perhaps Carth never would have allowed himself to love Tana if Bastila had been honest from the beginning.

 

"I thought, I could kill her then" She could feel the deep anger in him now, and knew he would rip her to shreds with his bare hands if given half the chance, she had to say it all though so that he could understand.

 

"I wanted to destroy her..."she whispered.

 

"destroy her? You're nothing but a betraying Gamorrean..." Carth started towards her but Canderous stopped him in his tracks by lifting his riffle and giving him a little smile.

 

"Poor child" Jolee said placing a hand on her shoulder. Bastila smiled at him uneasily, at least someone understood.

 

"She wants to kill Tana and you give her sympathy?!" Carth threw his arms up in disgust.

 

"let her finish please Carth. Perhaps you cannot understand what it means to have once been a part of the light only to fall into darkness. We must all be a little forgiving" Juhani said gently.

[PazaakPrincess]

Her sage words quited him. Tana had shown him the power of forgiveness and it was because of that he was there at that very moment experiencing the agony of her loss. The irony overwhelmed him. He shook his head gravely looking at the floor, he wanted to melt into it. To become nothing.

 

Bastila looked to Jolee for the strength to finish. She would never have believed that at a moment like this he would be her defender. She had thought she was so right about everything only to discover she was more then wrong.

 

"I wanted to destroy her because she had shown me that the force is not infinitely righteous, that a Jedi is both darkness and light. She showed me that being a Jedi means being a part of all mortal existence, and being removed and above everyone else makes you more vulnerable to destruction." She cringed internally at the thought of her high minded attitudes and self delusion that she, as a Jedi, was somehow removed from the everyday existence of non-force users that somehow it made her better then them.

 

"Everything I thought I knew or believed about being a Jedi was wrong and I hated her for it." She turned staring off into the distance for a moment, trying to find the words to explain.

 

She continued slowly "then she explained how she, herself, had fallen and been redeemed by such a simple thing. Something which I have never known..." she looked up at Carth her dark eyes full of sadness that her revelations had come to late to save the woman who had given her the true example of what a Jedi was and should be. He was starring at her and the pain in his eyes made her tremble.

 

"Love" she said softly, "not philosophy or religion or ideals or even having her memory whiped... it was love...love for you Carth, love for each and every one of us"

 

Carth let out a breath and nodded his head; he looked away masking the torment in his face. His heart fell into the pit of his stomach. He understood now, he too had been redeemed by love. So then why wasn't she here now? Why hadn't their love saved her from this horrible fate? 'This can't be happening' he thought, 'this just can't be happening'.

 

Bastila drew herself up and continued with a sense of pride and certainty "It was then that I knew I had to come back to the light. I could not resist as I had done on the planet of the ancients. She had redeemed me..."

 

There was a loud pop and then a bang cutting off Bastila's words. An astromec droid flew across the hanger screeching. They all turned to see it skid into the wall with a great metallic thud and fall over lifeless. Then Zalbaar realised something, where were the droids? Both HK47 and T3 MA were not present. He started to speak.

[PazaakPrincess]

Jolee held up a hand "silence everyone, please finish Bastila but hurry" he said urgently.

 

Bastila nodded taking a deep breath, "At that moment when she refused to finish me" she continued, "Malak appeared. He was surprised by her unwillingness to destroy me even though I had betrayed her. He ordered her to destroy me or die herself, but she stood firm"

 

Bastila could see it in her mind. The former Sith Lord standing tall and proud in her flowing robes of dark blue velvet. Her dual sabers one radiant azure the other vermillion, like a newly born emerald, poised to strike at the Dark Lord. Her silky, dark hair was coming loose from the silver fastenings she wore. The ones Carth had found in the Tombs on Korriban. They had belonged to a long dead Jedi who had gone there to confront the last of the Sith so very long ago and it seemed more fitting then ever that she wore them in that place, in that moment.

 

Tana was beautiful in her defiance her deep blue eyes steadily matching his hard cruel gaze. If the dark Revan had been great surely now she was magnificent. This was not the Revan, Malak had known. This was not the Revan that Bastila had fought and captured. Carth was right she was no longer Revan, she had become something wholly other to Revan, something more brilliant and brave, She was Tana Honour and the light streamed out of her like a brilliant beam harnassed from a thousand suns, it radiated out of her very fingertips and showered her in a halo of stars.

 

Bastila thought she had perceived hesitation in Malak as Tana stood her ground. What he had expected in his former master and what had arrived to confront him were two very different things. He was not as certain of his destiny now as he had been when he turned Bastila to the dark side.

 

"I watched them fight, it seemed like forever and I was too week to help." She hung her head again and leaned precariously to one side, she felt as if she might faint as she remembered the static, the fire and pain that engulfed everything in the room during the battle. Jolee steadied her and touched her forehead lightly with his fingertips. She felt the warm glow of that healing touch as the sickness in her stomach fell away.

 

"It was horrible" she said

 

" He was feeding on Jedi to increase his power and Tana...Tana could not stop him." Bastila let out a weary sigh.

 

There had been a terrible moment then, a look that passed between Tana and Malak and it changed everything. Something shifted, the balance of power changed. It was evident on what little was left of Malak's face that in all Tana's Light Side glory he could still undo her. His eyes gleamed and he had let out a metallic chuckle. Bastila recognised the fear in Tana, for the first time since they had met and it chilled her to the bone.

[PazaakPrincess]

"Finally she fell, weakened by him" Bastila sighed, she still couldn't understand it. Tana had seemed so powerful, so ready to strike Malak down and the outcome appeared inevitable that right would win out.

 

The atmosphere was heavy as if each one of them could see the terrible event in their minds eye and feel their friend succumb to the doom that lay before her.

 

"He could have killed her, but he didn't. Instead he..."she stopped then still unable to believe what her own eyes had witnessed she felt that it must be a lie, that she had been confused. Jolee urged her to continue by squeezing her arm gently.

 

"...he cradled her in his arms and whispered to her" A tear fell down Bastila's cheek as she thought of it. Malak had seemed almost tender towards Tana as she lay dying. He was not malicious in his victory he seemed almost sad that he had won with such little effort.

 

At the time Bastila had been dumbfounded. Malak had been so cruel and unrelenting towards her when he had turned her. To watch him hold Tana helpless in his arms, the tenderness in his voice, if she had not seen it herself she never would have believed it. It was as if he cradled a fallen lover not his greatest foe. Perhaps that was his victory. Not to crush Tana but to bring her back to the Dark Side to bring her back to his terrible embrace.

 

She had seen so many things she would not have believed possible. She had come to realise that embracing the Dark Side was more then just being cruel it was embracing the basest part of the primeval subconscious. Desire was the strongest amongst the emotions fueling the power of the Dark Side and sending more then one Jedi to a dark and destructive end.

 

"He carried her into his private chamber and then as Malak healed me I heard Tana's voice I do not know how, she said 'I am with Malak now'. Then the door closed and I was alone." Bastila finished her tale, it had left her drained and tired. For the first time she felt unclear as to the course she should take. She did not rejoice in her own redemption as Tana's fall meant the future was even more uncertain and all their lives still hung by a thread.

 

Carth covered his face with one hand, how could this be? "No, no" he muttered. He had watched Tana fight and overcome so many that had been so much stronger then her. She had saved him more then once in battle. He had been so sure of her power. He had been so certain of her goodness and had felt the light that flowed within her. It had touched him, she]/i] had touched him. He could not accept that she would fall again so easily.

[PazaakPrincess]

Juhani said sadly, "I have never met someone so filled with the essence of light...it cannot be..."her voice trailed off as she thought of her lost friend.

 

"No ...I will not accept this!" Carth shouted and he ran towards the door of the hangar but it was locked. He began bashing the entry code into the keypad but it only bleeped at him in non-compliance. "Damn you Malak!" He cursed pounding on the heavy metal door with his fist.

 

He turned back towards the group he could see the fear and the sadness in all their faces, even the Mandalorian looked "unhappy", yet they all seemed resigned to it. Bastila's story had confirmed the deep hidden doubts they had all had about Tana, doubts he himself had harboured and had tried to overcome. They glanced at one another as if to confirm what they each were thinking that though it was hard to accept it was possible.

 

Perhaps it was true that all Jedi must eventually fall or be cast out he thought as he looked at Jolee, then Bastila and then Juhani. For all their power they were vulnerable to the manipulations of the greatest power in the universe and no amount of love could stop it. Yet he felt responsible. It was not Tana who had been week, it was him. He had failed, failed to do the one thing he had promised her in all of this. He had failed to protect her from the darkness.

[machievelli]

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