The_Catto Posted November 6, 2007 Share Posted November 6, 2007 Pahaha! Yeah, that smiley looks amazingly like this fic's writer as she's writing it. Hehe, it's looks amazingly like the reader who's reading it So .. uhm ... when is the next chapter comin'??? No pressure ... .... !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emalin Posted November 6, 2007 Author Share Posted November 6, 2007 So .. uhm ... when is the next chapter comin'??? No pressure ... .... !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Though I am quite flattered, Mr_BFA, I really am . . . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kotor_freak Posted November 6, 2007 Share Posted November 6, 2007 ....Yup....... *tumbleweed* ....Bad time to DEMAND THE NEXT CHAPTER?! <---- Thats whats i'm doing for fun until this next chapter gets out Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uilleand Posted November 6, 2007 Share Posted November 6, 2007 Oh, I love a DS Atton. Never been able to write him well, myself, so congratulations! (His use of 'sweetheart' sends shivers down my spine, the flip side of my own Atton...LOL) I'm not usually a fan of first-person (and I did get a little turned around as to who was speaking at times) but the pain here is thick and delicious! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emalin Posted November 7, 2007 Author Share Posted November 7, 2007 Yarg. Sorry, peoples, but the next chapter may be awhile in coming. Was it cruel of me to start posting this story when it's not finished?? [sigh] I'm beginning to think so. Uilleand, I noticed your Atton's use of 'sweetheart', but the contrast with mine didn't hit me until you pointed it out. Wow! LS Atton vs. DS Atton in a nutshell. How perfectly pithy.... And I apologize if you got confused about the POV at times. I put in "Exile" and "Atton" headers to try to prevent that, but it's easy to overlook them. Thanks for reading and commenting! ::bows:: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bee Hoon Posted November 10, 2007 Share Posted November 10, 2007 I don't mind waiting:) If we just have to read it all over again to catch up, that's twice the pleasure of good writing for us! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kotor_freak Posted November 10, 2007 Share Posted November 10, 2007 I mind waiting...its like....banging my head on the desk waiting... Nah tis alright...seriously...its alright.... ITS NOT ALRIGHT! *cries* Oh well.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emalin Posted January 23, 2008 Author Share Posted January 23, 2008 ------ Atton ------ Justice, that’s all it’ll be. Justice! Liquid heat pours down my cheeks. The hate, the rage—I can feel it crackling like a fire in my stomach, eating me inside-out. I can’t wait any longer. Cloak snapping, I stalk toward her, my every movement rippling with power. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I notice she’s on her knees. I close the distance quickly. Along the way, my saber springs to life in my hand. But she doesn’t move. She just closes her eyes, her features twisted in pain. What the kriff is this schutta doing? Fight me, Jedi! I raise my blade to strike. Suddenly, my senses collapse under a torrent of white noise. The sound of one long scream, unlike any scream I’ve ever heard before, pounds me in the gut with wave after wave of agony. Before I know it I’m dropping my saber and crumpling, eyes screwed shut, hands covering my ears in an attempt to block the noise. But it doesn’t help. This scream—it’s through the Force. Atton, I love you. The Exile’s voice, like a whisper, slicing through the noise. Another voice echoes her. One that seems familiar . . . . I remember, and my eyes open wide. Her! A fresh surge of rage sends my pulse through the roof. I fight to stand. NO! I killed you for this! In response, this scream—this hellish scream—increases in intensity, and I crumple all over again. But it’s not just one scream anymore; it’s two. And, underneath them, soft as a puff of air: Atton, I love you. Inside my mind, there’s an explosion of light and heat, color and tears. Just like the one from all those years ago. Except this time, the explosion resolves itself into images, flashing through my head at light speed. Her. Her sorrow, her pain, her death. I’m reliving it all. I remember her ashen face. I remember the things I did to her. I remember the smell of her blood, and the smell sickens me. Somehow, it all melds with the Exile; they become one and the same. I can feel their pain crushing me to the ground—the pain I inflicted on them. And yet, I can almost feel their arms around me. Don’t you see, Atton? Love is sacrifice, giving up your life for someone else. It’s forgiving them, even when they hate you and hurt you. Atton, I love you! I can hardly comprehend it. I fight it with everything in me. Finally . . . after an eternity, the screams die away. Taking the light and color and agony with them. But not the tears. My world is spinning out of control, and I growl like a helpless pup, hating my tears. ------ Exile ------ My Force scream ebbs away, echoing to the far corners of the Academy. It occurs to me that the Sith will feel it, including Sion and Kreia, but I don’t care. Let them come and kill me. To my shock, I open my eyes to find Atton trembling on his hands and knees, mere inches away from me. Though I can’t see his face, I can see teardrops dotting the cold floor. His lightsaber hums harmlessly a few feet away as if it rolled there. What happened? He was about to kill me, and now . . . we’re both on our knees. The surreality of it threatens to overwhelm me. After a moment of indecision, I crawl to him, ignoring every alarm bell that goes off in my mind. As the black-clad man continues to take deep, shuddering breaths, it feels like the old Atton is with me again—at a rare moment when his defenses were shattered, and waves of anger and pain rolled off him. What else could I do at such moments but try to comfort him? So I wrap my arms around his frame and pray he will not throw me off. I want this to be over. “Atton,” I whisper, not daring to say anything more. My whisper seems to rouse him. When he stiffens and begins to stand, fear kicks in, and I jump up and back away. We stand apart, staring at each other across a gulf as wide as a Malachor canyon. His red-rimmed eyes—not quite the same as they were—lack any feeling, good or bad, as they probe into mine. They’re simply dull. Tired, like his stance. Whatever happened to him in that short length of time sapped him of energy. “You never loved him.” His voice is as emotionless as his eyes. I know immediately who he means, and I answer without guilt: “No.” I cared for Mical, but it was never in that way. If only I could've told Atton before he killed him. A slight twitch of Atton’s lips is the only sign that my answer registered. Still expressionless, he rests his gaze on the body behind me. Something passes through his eyes. Revelation? Regret? Then he turns away slowly and walks a couple of steps. He still hasn’t noticed his saber lying a few feet away. “Jedi are all the same,” he says brokenly. “Always keeping your little secrets. Well, secrets can kill, you know. And I don’t just mean the one who keeps them.” He glances back at me, and I realize he isn’t referring to Mical’s death, but to himself. It’s true. It’s not just his fault or Kreia’s fault that all of this happened. I’m to blame for pretending that I didn’t love him. All for the sake of my mission! That was the fodder that Kreia used for her deception, harping on Atton’s hurt and confusion to twist him to the Dark Side. If I’d been honest with him . . . . “Atton—” He throws up a hand. “Don’t. Just get out of here. Do what you came here for.” I stand there, shocked, until he turns on me with fire in his eyes. “Get out of here! This isn’t mercy, Jedi!” “No!” I cry suddenly, stepping forward. “I won’t leave until I’ve told you! Atton, I love you. I loved you before Mical ever came on board. I was wrong to hide it from you. After all that’s happened, I don’t expect you to forgive me, but I’m sorry for pretending.” I study his withered face, remembering it as it used to be. Smooth skin . . . brown hair . . . hazel eyes. “I’m sorry for what I did to you,” I whisper. Atton stares at me, his expression hard, his gaze icy. As I stare back at him, letting the warmth of my love flow to him through the Force, something changes. His icy gaze cracks; his expression softens. Waves of warmth start lapping against me, the smallest echoes of my own. Encouraged, I step toward the man who wanted to kill me. He stares at me as if hardly believing my foolishness, but I feel I have nothing to lose. His lips may be rough and dry—and, as I approach him, I see that they are—but I don’t care. Taking his face in my hands, I kiss him. At first his mouth is frozen in shock. I’m kissing stone, cold and lifeless. Then stone melts into flesh, and he kisses me in return. The Force bursts into flame around us as we pour everything into each other: our hurts, our memories, our regrets. We experience what could have been, and it’s like a vibroblade to my heart. All too soon, he breaks our kiss. I hold onto his face so he can’t pull away, and search his eyes for anything to give me hope. One glimmer of light tells me all I need to know. It isn’t too late for him. Gently but firmly, Atton removes my hands from his face, then distances himself from me. “Go, Exile. Now.” I don’t want to leave. Each step will tear out a chunk of my heart. But I know he’s right. There’s nothing left to say, and only one thing left to do. So I study his face one last time, remembering. Smooth skin . . . brown hair . . . hazel eyes. Then I walk mechanically past him to the door that leads to the heart of the Academy—and to Kreia. If only I had told you, Atton. So much that wouldn’t have happened. So much that could’ve been. ------ Atton ------ I listen as her footsteps move past me, then away from me. The door behind me opens, then closes. She’s gone to the Witch. She’ll die there, and everyone else on this planet will die. Funny how climaxes turn out different than you want them to. My world’s still spinning. I try to make sense of what happened, of the vision, of everything. All I know is I can still taste the Exile’s kiss, and I can’t hate her anymore. I was wrong about her. Maybe about a lot of things. Don’t you see, Atton? Love is sacrifice, giving up your life for someone else. It’s forgiving them . . . . She said that, not long before she died. She told me she loved me. And she didn’t just say it; she followed through with it, and it changed everything. That’s what the Exile was doing. She was ready to do the same thing that she did. Even die. But she couldn’t have known if it would change anything. Force, I don’t know if it would have. Maybe she is different than the other Jedi. Maybe she’s a real Jedi. Meaning if I die for her, it’ll be worth it. As I stand there, waiting numbly, heavy footsteps approach from my left. A wave of darkness, darker than my own, hits me—and I know who it is without looking. “And I get the fool,” he growls, flicking on his saber. I smirk to myself. Fool? Ah, what a climax. Then I turn theatrically to face him. Fire floods my veins as I prepare to summon my saber. “Funny. That’s just what I was thinking.” ~*~*~ The End Thanks for reading! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bee Hoon Posted January 25, 2008 Share Posted January 25, 2008 Meh, my comment was lost when the forums were acting up:/ Anyway, it was worth the wait:) The part of keeping secrets was very well done, and Atton was in character all the way. I also liked your description of the Force Scream. Excellent job! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Catto Posted January 27, 2008 Share Posted January 27, 2008 Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! I can't believe I won't be able to read what happens next! A wonderful, brilliant place to end the story Emalin. I've loved reading this story from the first moment I started reading it. I enjoyed every single bit of it. The Force Scream was done exceptionally well, the description of both the Exile's and Attons feelings were also done well and as I said before, ending right where Sion finds Atton was pure genious. Great work Emalin and I re-he-he-he-he-HE-heeeeeaaaallly hope (hehe, I love elongating words) that your write some more fics for this forum. I like your work Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emalin Posted January 30, 2008 Author Share Posted January 30, 2008 Thanks, guys, for being so patient as I wrote this fic. It took a whole year, but I FINALLY finished it! w0000000000t! And thank you especially, Mr_BFA, for your enthusiasm!! I'm glad you enjoyed it so much. Maybe I'll write another fic someday if an idea grabs hold of me and won't let go. Who knows? Once Team Gizka releases their "completed" version of the game.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Catto Posted February 1, 2008 Share Posted February 1, 2008 Patience is a virtue (one that I might add that I am not known for )Plus great things take time, as you have fully proven here. [Wow, I need to stop complementing... I'm starting to sound like a brown noser! But .. if you are like me (an egotistical pea in a overly sized narcissistic pod) then you won't mind ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ferc Kast Posted February 1, 2008 Share Posted February 1, 2008 Good job; This is definately the best fan fic that I have read. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emalin Posted February 2, 2008 Author Share Posted February 2, 2008 Lol, Mr_BFA. I wouldn't be honest if I said I mind. Thanks for reading, Ferc Kast! That is an amazing compliment. There are definitely other reads around here that have me beat; I especially recommend "Lessons in Pazaak" by Uilleand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lord-nihilus Posted February 3, 2008 Share Posted February 3, 2008 i never liked Mical anyway would b cool if you could actually fight Mical. P.S. Atton owns! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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