[NSW Poetry]:: Without You::

[Aristotélēsticus]

this one was originally written to become a song...

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“Without you”

 

 

The wind blow so heavy, the roses blossom no more

My reflection in the river is stranger than before

 

The bird songs are silent, whispers fill the air

Your hand no longer softly, comfortably washes my hair

 

I can’t withstand the ocean, in time I knew its true

That I can’t even sustain my breath in darkness without you…

 

 

Without you…without you

 

 

And the wind still blow so heavy, darkness came nigh

People flying aimlessly trying to touch the sky

 

Silver falling from my eyes but they cant hear my cry

And I keep asking myself wondering without knowing why

 

When all my colors turned to grey, when violet became blue

I know I can’t sustain my breath in darkness without you…

 

 

Without you… without you

[JediMaster12]

Following in the steps of Shakespeare and his couplets I see. Well there is nothing wrong as far as grammar or anything because that is poetry for you. What I can say is that I can feel the loss. As I have said in your shortie, you have a gift of arousing emotion such as loss. You seem to like things dealing with love and the pain it can bring. If you like, you can place your poetry in the Blessings of the Written Word thread. I love the poem.

[Aristotélēsticus]

Following in the steps of Shakespeare and his couplets I see. Well there is nothing wrong as far as grammar or anything because that is poetry for you. What I can say is that I can feel the loss. As I have said in your shortie, you have a gift of arousing emotion such as loss. You seem to like things dealing with love and the pain it can bring. If you like, you can place your poetry in the Blessings of the Written Word thread. I love the poem.

 

thanks alot, i'm honored