Scott Adams vs. Taliban. Funny Stuff

[Guest JediKnight_114[b]]

Here's what Scott Adams, the creator of the Comic Strip "Dilbert" wrote in his newsletter:

 

My Patriotic Duty

-----------------

 

I've been wondering about the best way to offer my patriotic

services in this time of global conflict. I don't think I'd be a

good candidate for Special Ops. I'd be the

one with the wheeled carry-on bag saying, "Hey, guys, I have sand

in my shoe! Is anyone else hungry? Can I use my flashlight now?"

 

I'm already donating money to patriotic causes, and I bought some

plastic flags made in China, but I felt I needed to do more. Then

it hit me. There is one patriotic duty for which I have prepared my

entire life: dehumanizing the enemy. In a sense, that's been my

full-time job for years. I just need to replace the word

"management" with "Taliban." So let's get started.

 

I've been trying to figure out the Taliban's long-term strategy and

I think I got it: They're trying to reverse evolution. Their

uncontrolled body hair is a good start. Living in caves was an

obvious step too.

 

The hard part was eliminating any trace of intelligence in the

children. But they've made great strides in that area. Have you

seen the video of the Taliban schools where the little kids squat

on the floor and rock back and forth chanting all day? No math, no

social studies, just rocking and chanting. For PE they use sticks

to whack stuffed dummies labeled "Bush" and "Blair." I'm not sure

how they know how to spell "Bush" and "Blair." On any given morning

they're probably whacking dummies labeled "Tqwft" and "Upxpgt" but

it's a good aerobic workout either way.

 

Just for fun, ask yourself what part of the Taliban curriculum

could NOT be accomplished by, for example, a monkey: Rocking back

and forth? Chanting? Beating a dummy with a stick? Even if a monkey

only got a "D" in chanting, he would still graduate with honors

from a Taliban school thanks to his high overall grades in rocking

and whacking.

 

As I write this, our generals are trying to figure out how to get

the Taliban out of their caves. They're running sophisticated war

game scenarios and calculating risks and gathering intelligence. I

have one word for them:

 

bananas

 

I don't want my patriotic words misconstrued as ethnic or religious

insults. As soon as the evildoers stop doing evil, I am willing to

promote them to full-fledged Induhviduals and insult them on equal

footing with everyone else who doesn't read the Dilbert Newsletter.

 

Now that we've dehumanized the Taliban, let's get on to the

important work of dehumanizing our bosses, cow-orkers and family

members.

[Agen]

ROFLMFAO

[Wacky_Baccy]

^ -Abso_Blo*dy_lutely!

 

Wonderful stuff JK_114!

[Guest JediKnight_114[b]]

I know, I couldn't stop laughing when I read it, so decided to spread the joy.

 

Enjoy

[Philbo]

dude, i subscribed to that too.

 

but i didn't get it in my e-mail anytime recently. that something special you get, or what?

[Guest JediKnight_114[b]]

No, nothing special that I know of. If you don't have it yet, give my your e-mail, and I'll forward you the entire thing.

 

[ November 09, 2001: Message edited by: JediKnight_114 ]

[access_flux]

hahahah thats gold.

 

hey wakky bakky what a cool sig!