TiE23 Posted April 24, 2002 Author Share Posted April 24, 2002 Kyle then ran over to Barney, and started to force grip him, while Barney was in the grip, Kyle walked over to the "sharp knives and forks" isle. Then throwed Barney on to the knives display and imaples him. "Hey!" said a voice from behind Kyle, "I was going to buy those, Kyle." It was Jan, "I didn't know we needed forks and knives", "Yes we do, remember the other day before you left you killed all those nuns for self protection with our stake knives and forks!" "Oh, yeah.".... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thrown Saber Posted April 24, 2002 Share Posted April 24, 2002 Kyle: "But, you can't blame me for that. I was drunk." Meanwhile, Kyle is secretly pumping alcohol into his body via a hidden syringe he is pumping... Sudddenly, one of Kyle's many Egyptian harem girls walks in and starts doing the "hoola" dance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mima kake Posted April 24, 2002 Share Posted April 24, 2002 Kyle looked at her with a goofy smile on his face Jan said "What f*** is this? "Isn't she pretty" kyle said "maybe you should join her jan ! " "Not a bad idea" she said and she joined in. Lando saw this happening and got a little horney by it. "Hey ladies why don't you... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thrown Saber Posted April 24, 2002 Share Posted April 24, 2002 .... let ME do all the dancing!!!" Lando pulls out a lightsaber and beheads the dancers. Then he gets on a coconut bra and palm-tree skirt, and starts doing the hoola dance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cqdemal Posted April 25, 2002 Share Posted April 25, 2002 Jan was enraged at the sight of The Dancing Lando. She picked up the Barney (now with more sharp things on him than a million porcupines combined) and threw it towards Lando, shredding his beloved facial hair. At this, Lando became very, very pissed. He decided to... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mima kake Posted April 25, 2002 Share Posted April 25, 2002 dress up like a playboy bunny and please middelage man. Yes that was lando's own path in life. no more gas mines just bunny hopping with the guys. so he left the wal-mart leaving kyle and jan behind. Kyle started singing. he was to drunk to be rational so jan just stood there helpless. Suddenly there was a loud... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thrown Saber Posted April 25, 2002 Share Posted April 25, 2002 ...burp... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Qui-GONE Jinn Posted April 25, 2002 Share Posted April 25, 2002 ...and Kyle realized that he had... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mima kake Posted April 25, 2002 Share Posted April 25, 2002 spend al his precious money on liquer. He felt sick and started to BARF. Jan smelled the substance and said to kyle... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chewey Tobacca Posted April 26, 2002 Share Posted April 26, 2002 Then Jan said, "You know, Kyle, I was just thinking about something. Perhaps we should stop this fan fiction now. I mean, really, all it is is just bad grammar and vomit/urine/sex jokes written by asinine people whose total intelligence quotient when tallied up is tantamount to that of a filthy dead retarded rat that was the subject of many chemical tests in a lab, has been diagnosed with over fifty syndromes, and that has an abnormally shaped cranium housing a brain the size of a grain of sand." "I don't know, Jan. I kind of like these fan fictions. Oh, ho, ho, ho, that peed on ewok thing or whatever the hell it was, was pretty funny, oh ho, ho, ho," said Kyle stupidly. "Cease and desist the fan fiction operations, or suffer the consequences," said Jan, suddenly speaking in a cold and deep and seemingly artificial voice not fitting her sex at all. "Whoah, Jan, what's up with the agression? You never were like this." said Kyle, surprised at the shift in attitude that Jan had undertaken. Then Jan digged into the palm of her hand with her fingernails, peeling the skin and revealing a mechanical skeleton beneath. "What.......are.........you? What have you done with Jan!?" gasped Kyle. *Laughing cruelly* "Nothing has happened to Jan Ors. You fool, I am Jan Ors. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, you have played right into my master Lord Bass's trap.....and now, you will die." "Big Mouth Billy Bass?! But it can't be! He's dead!" yelled Kyle. "Ah, so you think, foolish human. Please, let me make it clear to you what has truly transpired before I must terminate your worthless existence from the galaxy. You see, after the death of my Master Lord Bass, the Elite Bassian Division went back in time to save the Master. They were successful in their mission, and neutralized the forces about to kill him before the Master could be destroyed. The Master has returned to his people. The galactic conquest shall continue. You have failed. You have done nothing. And now, you shall die." Then blue lasers shot forth from Robo Jan Or's eyes, and reduced Kyle Katarn to a pile of smoking ashes on the ground. Then the wind blew the ashes away, and that was the end of the Jedi known as Kyle Katarn. With the only true threat to the Lord Bass's dreams of galactic conquest eliminated, the Bassian Death Cube Destroyers rapidly destroyed the Rebel Alliance, the Ewok army, and the Imperial Remnants, and the Elite Bassian Ground Forces invaded planet after planet until all were under the control of Lord Bass. These were dark times indeed for all good natured folk, and almost immediately Lord Bass declared all fan fiction to be illegal. Many tried to create new fan fiction stories in an attempt to defeat Lord Bass, however they were all caught and are now being slowly digested by sarlaacs. All other races were enslaved by the Bassian race, and Lord Bass ruled the galaxy for all eternity (Lord Bass's Medical Sciences Division had devised a way to extend Lord Bass's life indefinitely). THE END THE END THE END THE END THE END THE END THE END Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SPY_jmr1 Posted April 26, 2002 Share Posted April 26, 2002 you are 100% total bastard dude.... tie23 already banned you from his thread once..... righto moveing on BYPASING ye olde morone's poste.... ... dont you think you oughta lay off that stuff kyle? kyle said "quiet you..... snore.....snore.....snore..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chewey Tobacca Posted April 26, 2002 Share Posted April 26, 2002 Oh, you silly, silly fool, that ban isn't anything official! Ha! And then Lord Bass threw Spy_Jmr1 to the sarlaac for violating his law banning fan fiction. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SPY_jmr1 Posted April 26, 2002 Share Posted April 26, 2002 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cqdemal Posted April 26, 2002 Share Posted April 26, 2002 *Chewey Tobacca: The ban's not official. But we ignore your story posts. What's the difference? You better find a new place to exercise the (little) brain power you have...* *Continuing from SPY_jmr1's post* Kyle was snoring so loud that the Wal-Mart began to collapse. Suddenly Kyle woke up, unintentionally saving everyone. It was a small guy at the entrance, shouting, that woke him up. Kyle, out of his mind, was so angry he threw his unignited lightsaber and hit the guy's head. Kyle saw something behind him... It was a truckload of his own miniature models! Kyle was just about to turn back and get back into the building when he heard a collective shout of 'Lord Kyle! We, the Mini-Kyles, salute you!'... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
linxmexx Posted April 26, 2002 Share Posted April 26, 2002 Turning around kyle saw a huge mass of mini-toy kyles (in miniture form). They were riding on pod racers speeding past the Wal-mart store. As they were all speeding by one particular group stopped near kyle and said... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cqdemal Posted April 26, 2002 Share Posted April 26, 2002 'Hello Kyle.' 'Hello Kyle.' 'Hello Kyle.' 'Hello Kyle.' 'Hello Kyle.' 'Hello Kyle.' 'Hello Kyle.' 'Hello Kyle.' The real Kyle shouted in anger: 'Stop yer greetings! Who are you guys? And why are you here?' The miniatures replied in unison: 'We are taking you to a theatre, Lord Kyle.' Kyle was puzzled. 'What's with the theater?' Again, they replied in unison: 'We want you to go see.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thrown Saber Posted April 26, 2002 Share Posted April 26, 2002 ...a half-peeled banana." Kyle, puzzled by this response, went into a nearby "Toys 'R' Us" and buys a huge army of miniature Jerecs, Tavions, Stormtroopers, and Desanns. He dumps them ontop of all the mini Kyles and they start to duke it out CTF style. All the miniatures take control of Wal-Mart and divide it into two sections: Red and Blue. Then the Kyles and Evil Dudes (Jerecs, Desanns etc.) all congregate in the middle and start fighting, vainly trying to get each other's flags. Meanwhile, the real Kyle sneaks off into a dark alley, where he finds... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SPY_jmr1 Posted April 26, 2002 Share Posted April 26, 2002 ...a old dump truck. then he........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mima kake Posted April 26, 2002 Share Posted April 26, 2002 drove away verry verry fast. "those anoying little twerps who the hell are they"? After 30 minutes or so he noticed that the traffic slowed down. Not short after he stood completly still. "Now what..."? he said... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loop Posted April 26, 2002 Share Posted April 26, 2002 * Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thrown Saber Posted April 26, 2002 Share Posted April 26, 2002 ... as he drank yet another Brewski. He scratches his head, and tosses the bottle through someone's window. Suddenly, the Spooky Taco comes flying out of nowhere and it hits Kyle bang-smack in the middle of his forehead. * I give FULL CREDIT to the people at Massassi.net who started the original "Spooky Taco" thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mima kake Posted April 27, 2002 Share Posted April 27, 2002 "Just what i needed " he said and he looked around to see who threw the taco but there didn't seem to be anyone eating taco's suddenly the taco began to speak he said... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cqdemal Posted April 27, 2002 Share Posted April 27, 2002 ...'Pity da foo!'... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soul-Burn Posted April 27, 2002 Share Posted April 27, 2002 A stormtrooper came running after the Spooky Taco, yelling: "HEY! YOU THERE!" and then fell on his head as the Taco pushed him away. Kyle then said: "... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mima kake Posted April 27, 2002 Share Posted April 27, 2002 "ooooh I love man in uniform" "maybe you can halpe me out stormie'". "SHOW ME YOUR ID" the trooper yelled after he stood up Kyle reached in his pocket but the only thing he could find was a... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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