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Murphy's Laws of JK:O Multiplayer


Rogue74

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If you build a great game or mod someone will always rip it apart.

 

You duel and beat the top players on the server only to lose to the guy who has 0 kills in 6 minutes.

 

You forget the force powers you just set up won't take effect until after you die.

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If you start doing well in a duel, you shouldn't mention it to others, as you will die the second you press enter.

 

If you kill someone, no matter how you kill them, someone will cuss you out because of your "newbie" moves.

 

If you use "internet slang" (n00b, h@x0rs, etc.), you shall be hunted down and killed, even if you leave to go to another server.

 

The person with the name "Padawan" will win every single fricking game.

 

Telling people that taunting is accomplised by "/bind w +taunt" is extremely fun, especially if they are a stormtrooper.

 

You cannot use a special saber move without getting flamed, gang-raped, and hunted down, for they are considered "gay/lame/newbie/crappy."

 

Killing someone with the basic blaster never gets old.

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If somebody has 40 kills and the others have 15, he is using the finishing move repeatedly, the repeater of flechette gun's alt fire, or pushing and gripping people down holes.

 

People think it's cool to be evil, so they will kill you if you do anything even close to having an Honor Code

 

It's hard not to get mad at people who don't follow the same code as you :D

 

Skilled people turn off their lightsabers to find duels.

 

Skilled people meet at a nice duel place and decide who's gonna duel who.

 

People who attack skilled people in a group while they are discussing duels with their sabers off will die a horrible, horrible, horrible death, in a very entertaining fashion.

 

When people who attack skilled people in a group while they are discussing duels with their sabers off and die a horrible, horrible, horrible death in a very entertaining fashion, many other skilled players are killed by other skilled players trying to kill the person who attack skilled people in a group while they are discussing duels with their sabers off.

 

Light stance is funny.

 

Medium stance is cool.

 

Heavy stance hurts.

 

Kick only duels are very entertaining.

 

Kick only duels over a hole are very, very entertaining.

 

If someone attacks you while your saber is off, and you proceed to dodge all of his attacks and kill him using kicks, he usually calls you a cheater.

 

You can make a 13-people-high tower near the edge of the pad in the bespin streets map.

 

You can kill 13 people with a well aimed rocket.

 

Pushing the rockets newbies shoot at you is fun.

 

If you use force push on a trip mine, it will bounce on a wall and kill you.

 

If you use force pull often, you will pull people slashing with heavy stance to you. You will die a horrible, horrible, horrible death in a very entertaining fashion.

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Oh yeah, and when you fight many duels with the same honorable and skilled player, you often become unnoficial friends reluctant to fight each other outside of a duel. You then proceed to kill anyone getting close to you by ganging up on them. Many people die a horrible, horrible, horrible deaths, in a very entertaining fashion.

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While fighting a duel challenge in a FFA server, there will always be someone who wont understand what that blue glow means and try to attack you, generally getting in the way.

 

While trying to sneak up on the guy whos been sniping everyone on Nar Shadda, you will never notice the guy who was sneaking up on you.

 

When you do die, chances are you will respawn right in front of someone with a repeater.

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Just as you're about to deliver the killing shot with x weapon, it will run out of ammo and default to the lightsaber.

 

Just as you're about to press K to challenge an opponent to a duel in a quiet part of the map...all of the other players will suddenly appear in a mad frag-fest that catches you in the crossfire.

 

Just when you need to wall-walk over a group of opponents before you...you will fumble the move and end up skewered on the tip of someone's lightsaber.

 

When you are on a killing spree and taking down every other saber player in the game...you will be killed by a trip mine/det pack/sentry.

 

When you are playing on a server with only a few players...you will run around like a maniac trying to find an opponent, and end up with a zero score at the end of the match because you couldn't find anyone to fight.

 

Just as you start to lead and dominate a match...your connection will be interrupted/disconnected.

 

Every time you switch from MP to SP...you will press the wrong key, because you configured the two halves of the game differently.

 

Just as you are about to press Submit Reply when responding to this thread...you will be disconnected from the internet.

 

;)

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the longer and cooler ur sabre fight goes on the more lightly it is you will both be killed by lightning.

 

incoming sabers have right of way

 

the more kills u get without dying they stupeder way u will die

 

any ambush u set is ovious to every other player

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After flawlessly running the flag back from the enemy base you WILL arrive at your flag stand at the exact moment the enemy steals your undefended flag.

 

While waiting for the flag to be returned on ns_streets you WILL be knocked off by a lamer teammate who thinks its funny.

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<Knocks Darksider off a ledge while he has the flag, just as the flag's returned>

 

"Hey! You there!" :trooper:

 

:nut: You will play make your first duel challenge against the most experienced player in the universe, who will then own you 3 times before you can type "wtf"

 

:nut: You will always be ambushed by a trip mine blowing you off a ledge onto the saber of the person who planted the mine the second that you believe that a trap can never work on you.

 

:yobi:

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*The second your about to slice another player from behind is the second when his connection messes up and he dissapears

:gben::slsaber:

*The first time you play multiplayer is the first time when you realize how bad you are.

 

*The only time you blow up from a mine is when you are inches away from the enemys flag

:explode:

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If you kill someone you WILL be called cheap.

 

If you strong stance you will be called a n00b (thoug strong stance is harder to use --for the purposes of my sanity do NOT post your opinion on that matter--)

 

The moment you are about to force push 5 people to their horrible, horrible deaths is the moment you: get a strong stance whack, some king of explosice meets up with your ass, or your force pushed and killed while trying to stand up.

 

The 5 people you were going to kill were all aded to the score of the one who pushed you.

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When you finnally are able to push someone off a ledge who has been doing the same to you all night, you will push him to a safe landing on a lower level walkway.

 

No matter how sick of it you get, there will always be someone who thinks "Hey, you there" is still funny.

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How about...

 

Your playing a game, and people are bitc*ing because you are using what you are given in the game.

 

Whether its guns, force push, force grip, saber throw, etc...

 

If you want something specific, most likely there is a server hosting only that.

 

Like people who bitc* at people who use guns... Well, go to a SABER ONLY server and quit yer yappin.

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