i think most of u r too young for this... erm... maybe not. wotever:

[Al-back from the BigWhoop]

MANUAL OF PARTIES TO WOMEN:

 

 

1. WARM-UP

1.1. If you are wondering wether u r pretty, check how many men look at you at the beggining, middle, and end of a party. if the highest number of men look at u at the end, get worried: hot girls are caught first

 

1.2. Diferently than women, for men there are 2 kinds of girls: kissable and non-kisseble, so if no 1 is looking at u, u r in the second group (there is a 3rd group for men that are filled with alcohol. That is your chance, so pray men will start drinking soon)

 

1.3. This is probably the most important rule in this section: do not try to make us men stop looking at other woman, because we are always checking if there is a better deal in this party, and there is nothing u can do about it. Try to stop him and he WILL find the better deal.

 

1.4. Women have the right to go for a man that is already with another woman, cause girls usually take long minutes to get out of the bathroom.

 

1.5. Be carefull with your girl friends.

 

 

2. APROXIMATION:

2.1. Make it easy for us. After all, there is always some1 prettier than u.

 

2.2. Be reciprocal: if we wave, u wave. If we smile, u smile. If we get another girl, just wait.

 

2.3. If a man goes near your grupo of friends, do not turn his back on him, for he may choose 1 of your friends, or 1 of your girl friends might wanna welcome him.

 

2.4. If we want to know your friends, we will ask them, no need for introductions.

 

2.5. If u r in a group of friends, please move some meters away to ease the aproximation process. If there is a man in your group, getting far away is mandatory.

 

 

3. CHATTING

3.1. Don't worry if a man fogets your name, men cant think on you 100% of the time.

 

3.2. Don't talk too much, only enough so u 2 dont keep quite all the time.

 

3.3. Don't try to impress us with your talking. If u were selected, its becuase of other attributes.

 

3.4. Don't be mad if, when u are talking the man is looking everywhere but u, hes just checking if there is no better deal around.

 

3.5. Talking and kissing cant be done at the same time. If in doubt, choose for the second one.

 

 

4. KISSING

4.1. You may wanna know the guy deep inside, but choking him with your tongue will just make him show u wot he had for dinner.

 

4.2. There is nothing un-sexier than simmetrically moving your tongue in circles, so resist the temptation of doing it.

 

4.3. Don't touch our hair or use unremovable lipsticks, because you may ruin the rest of our night.

 

4.4. Don't be exagerated, other girls may be looking.

 

4.5. If you see some1 u kissed kissing other girl, dont do anything. Try to get your revenge by kissing some1 else and you might be called a prostitute.

 

 

5. THE GOOD BYE

5.1. Don't have hopes for something more romantic the "bye", or "see ya".

 

5.2. Don't worry with wot we will think: if u wanna go away, just go. But if u go, don't come back waiting to see us alone.

 

5.4. Ask us if we wanna take u home. But remember, no means no.

 

 

6. THE DAY AFTER

6.1. If we dont call you back soon, dont desperate: we cant think of you all the time.

 

6.2. If we call you back next morning, consider yourself "hot".

 

6.3. If we call you Sunday after 19:00, don't think u r hot, its just that we didnt get any1 better to show our friends.

 

6.4. Don't try to impress us through the fone. As easy as we called, we can hang up.

 

6.5. Be carefull if light, in the party was quite dark.

 

 

7. PS

- Men follow a simple rule: "Learn to like her best friend, cause no matter how hard u try, u will end up banging her."

- Remember: "The transparency of the relationship is in your hands. The less u ask, the less we lie."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

btw- just so i dont need to start a new topic, i just got this through e mail:

2 women meet in the street, one of them just got a haircut.

W1: "Hi! OMG, u got a hair cut!"

W2: "Yeah! wot did u think of it?"

W1: "Wonderfull. It makes you 10 years younger! I think im gonna get one like that!"

W2: "Its a new tecnique from Italy. U have no idea wot happened, by the way, can u imagine that...

(Half an hour later...)

W1: "K sweety, go running home and show it to your hustband, hes gonna love it!"

W2: "K, friend, love u!"

W1 leaves thinking: "That bitch is just ridiculous with that stupid hair, cant she see it. How can that husband of hers rather her than me?!"

W2 leaves thinking: "That jelous cow is just dieing to have a hair like mine! Not even with an implant!

 

2 men meet in the street, one of them just got a haircut.

M1: "Got a hair cut?"

M2: "Yep, y?"

M1: "U r looking like a faggot."

M2: "Ur momma liked it."

M1: "See you around, tell that hot woman of yours i said hi."

M1 leaves thinking: "He is the man!"

M2 leaves thinking: "That guy is the best!"

[Guest King Andrei]

I am NEVER too young for anything.

[Al-back from the BigWhoop]

wotever, did u enjoy it?

[Redwing]

Whoever wrote that was sad. Oh my God. o.o

[COJ]

You said it Chewie..