7 degrees of blonde

[Darth Eggplant]

1st Degree

 

A married couple was asleep

when the telephone rang

at two in the morning.

The wife (undoubtedly blonde),

picked up the telephone,

listened a moment, and said,

"How should I know,

that's 200 miles from here!"

and hung up. The husband said,

"Who was that?" The wife said,

"I don't know;

some woman wanting to know

'if the coast is clear."

2nd Degree

 

Two blondes

are walking down the street.

One notices a compact

on the sidewalk

and leans down to pick it up.

She opens it,

looks in the mirror,

and says,

"Hmm, this person looks familiar."

She hands it to the second blonde.

The second blonde looks

in the mirror and says,

"You dummy, it's me!"

3rd Degree

 

A blonde suspects her boyfriend

of cheating on her,

so she goes out and buys a gun.

She goes to his apartment

unexpectedly and when she

opens the door, she finds him

in the arms of a redhead.

Well, the blonde is really angry.

She opens her purse

to take out the gun,

and she puts the gun to her head.

The boyfriend yells,

"No honey, don't do it."

The blonde replies,

"Shut up, you're next!"

4th Degree

 

A blonde brags about her knowledge

of state capitals. She proudly says,

"Go ahead, ask me,

I know all of them."

A friend says, "OK,

what's the capital of Wisconsin?"

The blonde replies,

"Oh that's easy the W."

5th Degree

 

What did the blonde ask her doctor

when he told her she was pregnant?

"Is it mine?"

6th Degree

 

A blonde had just totaled her car

in a horrific accident.

Miraculously,she managed to pry

herself from the wreckage

without a scratch.

"Wow!" the trooper gasped.

"Your car looks like an accordion

that was stomped on by an elephant.

Are you OK ma'am?"

"Why, yes, officer, I'm just fine"

the blonde chirped.

"Well, how in the world

did this happen?" the officer asked

as he surveyed the wrecked car.

"Officer,

it was the strangest thing!"

the blonde began.

"I was driving along this road

when from out of nowhere this tree

popped up in front of me.

So I swerved to the right,

and there was another tree!

I swerved to the left

and there was another tree!

I swerved to the right

and there was another tree!

I swerved to the left

and there was...."

"Uh, ma'am,"

the officer said, cutting her off

as he looked inside the car,

"There isn't a tree

on this road for 30 miles.

That was your air freshener

swinging back and forth."

7th Degree

 

Returning home from work,

a blonde was astonished

to see that she had been robbed.

She telephoned the police at once

and reported the crime.

The police dispatcher broadcast

the call on the channels,

and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby

was the first to respond.

As the K-9 officer approached

the house with his dog,

the blonde sat down on the steps.

Putting her face in her hands,

she moaned, "I come home to find

all my possessions stolen.

I call the police for help,

and what do they do?

They send me a BLIND policeman!"

[Tall Guy]

heh