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jwaf

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There were a few laughs there alright....

 

"I don't know how to tell her I love her"

"What about, "I love you penny"

"What kind of what is that to tell somebody you love them!?"

 

But I think the layout needs to be more constant (IE sometimes you have three panels, sometimes 6, and sometimes you split three panels in two lines etc.,) and also the humour isn't too sharp. But you have a unique set of characters so keep going! I definately read it so long as you get a bit more of an edge on the humour.

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Well I'm just a reader, I'm no expert :) but I would say keep to a certain design, and have three panels designs maximun, sticking to one on a regular basis and using the other two if the storyline would benefit from a few extra captions.

 

And also remember, the punchline has to be short and sharp. Conversation should climax before the critical sentence, and even one word can make or break a gag.

 

:) :) :) Good luck with your comic!

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