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Joke Thread: Something to boost spirits


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Ok I think It's time for some fun eh. Oh and yeah: Some contense may be offensive to other people and I am not to be blamed.

 

So...

 

1.

A couple goes on vacation to a fishing resort in northern Minnesota.

The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife likes to read.

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and

decides to take a nap.

Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out.

She motors out a short distance anchors, and continues to read her book.

 

Along comes a game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and

says, "Good morning Ma'am. What are you doing?" "Reading a book," she replies,

thinking (isn't that obvious?) "You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.

"I'm sorry officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading." "Yes, but you have all the

equipment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.

"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.

"That's true, but you have all the equipment."

 

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

 

2.

Tow blondes walk into a building.

You'd think one of them would have seen it.

:D

 

3.

Three blondes are trapped on an island and they all want out.

They find a bottle on the shore and rub it. A genie comes out and says he'll grant them all one wish each.

the first blonde says "I wish I was 25% smarter so I can get off this island."

The blonde turned into a brunnett and swam off the island to another one a mile away.

The second blinde says "I wish I was 50% smarter so I could get off this island."

The blonde turns into a red head and swims off the island to another populated island only 1/2 mile away.

The third blonde says "I wish I was 100% smarter so I could get off this island"

The blonde woman turned into a man and walked across the bridge to the mainland. :D

(No offense towards women)

 

4.

One day a woman, a perfect man, and Santa Claus where riding in a car together very fast.

Suddenly the car crashed.

Who survived?

 

The women, because there is no such thing as a perfect man or Santa Claus. :D

(However, that would have meant that the woman was driving, which would have explained the crash XD)

 

One last time: no offense and I'm not to blame.

 

Your turn. :)

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Originally posted by Skate Boy

Question: If you're canoeing through the desert and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes does it take to fix the shingles on a dog house?

 

Answer: None, because ice cream doesn't have bones.

 

wtf?

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