Seph Posted July 19, 2004 Share Posted July 19, 2004 I'm writing a story that is at... deviant art tell me what you think of it^^. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IG-64 Posted July 19, 2004 Share Posted July 19, 2004 Its good, but the chapters seems a bit rushed, althogh it may seem pointless to drag some things out abit, it is needed for atmosphere and character builds. Other than that, some pretty good work. Edit: for example. from chapter 3: After Shiro walked around for a few moments and talking to some locals, he found out that the name of the town was Shinjazima, a nice town with a population of about 500. now, it would be nicer if you actually had some convos between the locals and Shiro and what Shiro is thinking as he is walking around, ect. It makes for a nice long story without having to pack all of it with plotlines. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Astrotoy7 Posted July 19, 2004 Share Posted July 19, 2004 Interesting. I would refine it a bit, similar to what IG suggests, but the premise is a nice one.... kepe up the nice work mtfbwya Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seph Posted July 19, 2004 Author Share Posted July 19, 2004 thanks guy! i'm going to re release it with most the corrections and added convos and stuff like that after i finish it:P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sabretooth Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 Good work! Be sure to post it at the fanfic forum, for all our lazy members, i mean, 99% of members Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.