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Hmm...well, I like it. But I feel like it needs more description--we get the events (which are awesome), but we don't get a clear picture of the scene they're happening in, if that makes any sense. What do places and especially characters look like? We've got all these new people, like the random Psychonauts and Milla's cousin Amari in Ch. 1, but I feel like we don't know who they really are or what they're like. I mean, we don't need their life stories, but a little embellishment wouldn't hurt in some cases.

 

I do like it, though. I'm just nitpicking. It's a habit.

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Alright to keep is from Awwing the whole entire time I will share with you notes from my notebook and maybe later I'll type up the writing excerise I did, yeah it was a Psychonauts excirse but it was just a retelling of an event that happened so pretty plain stuff there.

 

Ideas are ideas for fanfiction. Strikes mean NO I will not do them. Everything else is open for my brain. I really like Oleander meeting Loboto. That's why I asked in the other thread...Oleander, a poisonous flower.

 

Ideas

 

Lungfishopolis

New Year at Whispering Rock

Oleander meets Loboto?

Loboto Lives!

Oleander's Magic Act

Mikhail and Maloof Do stuff!

 

So what are your ideas. Anything that you wrote down..don't be ashamed.

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