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Sweet Shinzuku sweet. I never got who Red was though...

 

Alright so I located my Psychonauts warm up-fic. Looking over it...I'm proud and then I'm not. So many canon mistakes..just ugh.

 

But since I don't mind posting up **** like this I'm going to type it up and share it with all of you. It's kind of long so I'll be gone for 20. The warm-up centers around Waterloo-o in the vault Fred VS Crispin.

 

Sounds like they could be wrestlers.

 

It's only the front and back of a page but it's a long page, and I'm going to be taking a 15 minute break, leaving five minutes to type.

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Sweet Shinzuku sweet. I never got who Red was though...

 

Alright so I located my Psychonauts warm up-fic. Looking over it...I'm proud and then I'm not. So many canon mistakes..just ugh.

 

But since I don't mind posting up **** like this I'm going to type it up and share it with all of you. It's kind of long so I'll be gone for 20. The warm-up centers around Waterloo-o in the vault Fred VS Crispin.

 

Sounds like they could be wrestlers.

 

It's only the front and back of a page but it's a long page, and I'm going to be taking a 15 minute break, leaving five minutes to type.

 

ARGH. Now I'm getting impatient with myself. I can't seem to finish my fic! And here you are, typing everything up a mile a minute!

 

ARGUS. FILCH.

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ARGH. Now I'm getting impatient with myself. I can't seem to finish my fic! And here you are, typing everything up a mile a minute!

 

ARGUS. FILCH.

 

These are all old things that keep me up at night.

 

Still on my fifteen minute break...

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Wow. This took me a long time to write and it's so short. I wonder why. I guess everything looks longer in writing.

 

Tell me what you think of it blah..whatever. Seriously diss it if you want to. Concrit is good. Remember, I like to have my writing nitpicked upon. That way I can become a better writer.

 

Damn, this is old. And I'm a hypocrite

 

Dedicated to Purple Squid, who I owe like 5 million stories for all the drawings they dedicated to me.

 

Fred VS Crispin

 

 

 

“Crispin, this is Waterloo-o.” Fred dropped the box on the table. “My friends gave it to me as a joke because my last name is Bonaparte and well…well…uh you know.”

 

Crispin was not amused.

 

Regardless, Fred took of the lid, arranging the board as he explained the rules. “This is my knight. You have one too but you’ll be on the defensive. I need to get my knight into here.” He pointed towards the slightly torn paper castle before he went on. “Now this is my peasant, and this is your soldier.” Cautiously he placed the piece in front of the detainee, studying for any reaction.

 

Relief swelled into him as Crispin finally acknowledged his existance. However that was quickly dashed as Crispin leaned over the table and picked up a piece with his mouth. Fred didn’t know how to take this at all and offered the only help he could. “Do you want me to…”

 

Crispin had taken no notice to Fred’s mortification and went right on, not even bothering to take the piece out of his mouth, preferring to talk quite clearly through clenched teeth. “No, I want you to start.”

 

Leaning back in the chair allowed Fred to relax a bit from this sudden onslaught. “Once I finish telling you the rules. The carpenter is the only piece allowed out. The peasent can’t come out unless you get a certain item for them. Once you destroy all of the other’s side peasents or soldiers your knight can storm the castle.”

 

“Sounds Easy.” Crispin shrugged and started leaning in for the dice.

 

“Wait no!” Fred snatched them away. “No…not yet. Not yet…” He began to breathe deeply, something he told the asylum prisoners to do when they couldn’t control themselves.

 

“Well, this is interesting. However I do have other things planned for today. I think I have another session in the art room today or so I have heard.”

 

“Alright, I’ll start.” Fred said, and so they began.

 

They were an odd pair in an even odder situation. Crispin was propped up on a few books thus enabling him to at least look at the game board; while Fred’s legs were tucked on underneath his chair so his kness would not interfere his view. Despite all this, despite Crispin’s previous hostility Fred felt himself relaxing. After all it was a simple round of his favorite game.

And, well it was interesting if nothing else. It was truly an amazing sight to see his opponent play without hands, something Fred thought neccesary to play a board game.

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Hello Klia! You get one my first official post. The other one wasn't very special. Oh, and if anyone was wondering...I am the becky/Jasper-writing girl.

 

I am seriously loving this fic! I always thought how interesting it would be to see the interaction between Fred and Crispin. In the game Crispin is the one with the control, and its really nice to see the power struggle between them both. Your fic is a great example of Fred losing his control over Crispin and his own sanity.

 

“Wait no!” Fred snatched them away. “No…not yet. Not yet…” He began to breathe deeply, something he told the asylum prisoners to do when they couldn’t control themselves.

 

This...this is the best line in ever! It made this fic from good to completly awesome! Total foreshadow action going on here. So subtle yet so powerful. Just brilliant. I can't get over this. This actually made me scream like a crazed fangirl.

 

They were an odd pair in an even odder situation. Crispin was propped up on a few books thus enabling him to at least look at the game board; while Fred’s legs were tucked on underneath his chair so his kness would not interfere his view. Despite all this, despite Crispin’s previous hostility Fred felt himself relaxing. After all it was a simple round of his favorite game.

And, well it was interesting if nothing else. It was truly an amazing sight to see his opponent play without hands, something Fred thought neccesary to play a board game.

 

This paragraph made me sad. The story had such an energy flow goin on and this left me cold. Please, continue this. Its superb and much better than a warm-up. It could even just be a short fic, but this idea needs expanding, it was going so well too...

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Wow Paranoidish...you are excited.

 

This...this is the best line in ever! It made this fic from good to completly awesome! Total foreshadow action going on here. So subtle yet so powerful. Just brilliant. I can't get over this. This actually made me scream like a crazed fangirl.

 

Someone hold me. I am scared.

 

I never intended for it to be foreshadowing anything. I just like reminding people to breathe.

 

But thanks friendly Becky/Jasper writing girl!

 

I already told you I posted your fics...people seemed to like them. Well now you can post your own damn fics and leave me alone about it.

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AUGH. It's Klia's friend!

 

That's what I used to call you.

 

Klia, that was fantastic. I agree with paranoidish about that being the best line. EVER.

And, ergh. You made Fred sound like an awkward cashier. Which is good and in character, by the way.

 

Akward cashier's are fun. I talk to them all the time. Thank you for complimenting me. WOOT! Now you are all on. I was getting worried.

 

No way Paranoidish, It's taken me a while and Kila and I are tight. U ain't stealin' her and Knight from me.

 

I remember how we were at odds ends when we first met. And now we are tight. Knight is Scott C's. I love the Knight.

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Aww thanks. Everyone on this board knows each other. Especially Klia. Everyone knows her.

 

I'm getting creeped out by the second. How does everyone know me? No one is supposed to know me. I just freakin joined.

 

Somethings going on and you are all leaving me out of it.

 

I get ingested every night?

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