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Darth Sceltor

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Mouse Balls

This is an actual alert to IBM Field Engineers that went out to all IBM Branch Offices. The person who wrote it was very serious. The rest of usmay find it rather humorous. Abstract: Mouse Balls Available as FRU (Field Replacement Unit)

 

Mouse Balls are now available as FRU. Therefore, if a mouse fails to operateor should it perform erratically, it may need a ball replacement. Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, replacement of mouse balls should only be attempted by properly trained personnel.

 

Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the underside of the mouse. Domestic balls will be harder and larger than foreign balls. Ball removal procedures differ depending on the manufacturer of the mouse. Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop-off method. Domestic balls are replaced using the twist off method. Mouse Balls are usually not static sensitive. However, excessive handling can result in sudden discharge. Upon completion of ball replacement, the mouse may be used immediately.

 

It is recommended that each replacer have a pair of spare balls for maintaining optimum customer satisfaction, and that any customer missing his balls should suspect local personnel of removing these necessary items.

 

 

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grabs R9 you are not going anywhere. now some funny error messages:Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.

Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.

Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.

Press any key except... no, No, NO, NOT THAT ONE!

Press Ctrl-Alt-Del now for IQ test.

Close your eyes and press escape three times.

Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.

This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game?

Windows message: "Error saving file! Format drive now? (Y/Y)"

This is a message from God Gates: "Rebooting the world. Please log off."

To "shut down" your system, type "WIN."

BREAKFAST.SYS halted... Cereal port not responding.

COFFEE.SYS missing... Insert cup in cup holder and press any key.

CONGRESS.SYS corrupted... Re-boot Washington D.C? (Y/N)

File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)

Bad or missing mouse. Spank the cat? (Y/N)

Runtime Error 6D at 417A:32CF: Incompetent User.

Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)

WinErr 16547: LPT1 not found. Use backup. (PENCIL & PAPER.SYS)

User Error: Replace user.

Windows VirusScan 1.0 - "Windows found: Remove it? (Y/N)"

Welcome to Microsoft's World - Your Mortgage is Past Due...

If you are an artist, you should know that Bill Gates owns you and all your future creations. Doesn't it feel nice to have security?

Required Government Warning: After we got caught in cahoots with the hardware manufacturers for trying to needlessly fill your hard drives, the following message is now required as you save your files in Word. "Word has detected that you don't wish to save your text file as a lumpy and space wasting .doc format filled with potential viruses. Would you like to save your old outdated ascii file as a Word file anyway?"

Your hard drive has been scanned and all stolen software titles have been deleted. The police are on the way

 

 

 

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"Dulce bellum inexpertis."

(Sweet is war to those who have never experinced it.) Roman Proverb

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