Guest Zoom Rabbit Posted February 20, 2001 Share Posted February 20, 2001 Once upon a time, there was a farmer who was showing his farm off to a visiting news reporter. Out in the animal pens, he was pointing out his prized livestock. 'That's my blue-ribbon geese,' he said proudly. The reporter walked up to the geese and asked them, 'So, what is life like here on the farm?' To the farmer's utter astonishment, the geese replied, 'Fine, fine. We get lots of feed, and the farmer keeps us safe from coyotes.' 'Uhm,' said the farmer, 'I didn't know geese could talk.' 'Why, of course they can!' laughed the reporter. 'So can this cow, too!' 'Yes, indeed,' spoke the cow. 'And I would just like to say that I get plenty of hay, but what I'd really like is some corn!' By now the farmer was aghast. His animals were talking. 'Heck, they all talk,' the reporter went on. 'Let's go over there and talk to the sheep--!' But before he could get there, all of the sheep emitted enormous bolts of electricity amongst themselves, crackling fiercely in the afternoon sun, then burst into flames. 'I forgot to tell you,' said the farmer, 'I have electric sheep.' ------------------ 'Oh, no--you did not shoot that green s**t at me!' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Plasmo Posted February 20, 2001 Share Posted February 20, 2001 I don't get it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Zoom Rabbit Posted February 20, 2001 Share Posted February 20, 2001 Oh. Howzabout this one, then? Q: 'How many electric sheep does it take to screw in a lightbulb?' A: 'Zero--electric sheep provide their own illumination.' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Zoom Rabbit Posted February 20, 2001 Share Posted February 20, 2001 Or even... Q: What do you call an electric sheep with no legs? A: Grounded. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rogue Nine Posted February 20, 2001 Share Posted February 20, 2001 I think Zoomie's been drinking again... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milkshake Posted February 20, 2001 Share Posted February 20, 2001 Correction, Zoomie HAS been drinking again ------------------ Self proclaimed Forum 90's Dude milkshake@milkshake.co.uk 'Now, if I could just say a few words, I'd be a better public speaker. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admiral Zaarin Posted February 20, 2001 Share Posted February 20, 2001 Second Correction: Zoomie has immersed himself in a tank of pure alcohol again.<font size=-2> [This message has been edited by Admiral Zaarin (edited February 20, 2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Psycho Tycho Posted February 20, 2001 Share Posted February 20, 2001 That reminds me of Pokémon. There's an electric sheep called Mareep. <font size=1> [This message has been edited by Psycho Tycho (edited February 20, 2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Zoom Rabbit Posted February 21, 2001 Share Posted February 21, 2001 Baa! Baa! *Fzap! Crackle!* Ba-aa! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admiral Odin Posted February 21, 2001 Share Posted February 21, 2001 shots the sheep in the head. Problem solved. ------------------ "Dulce bellum inexpertis." (Sweet is war to those who have never experinced it.) Roman Proverb Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Zoom Rabbit Posted February 21, 2001 Share Posted February 21, 2001 *(Static backcharge electrocutes Admiral)* When are you going to learn that the animals I bring onto the forum are A: dangerous, and B: infinite? *(Cloned electric sheep arrive in large numbers. The power supply problem for California is solved.)* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Zoom Rabbit Posted February 21, 2001 Share Posted February 21, 2001 Zen electric sheep riddle: 'What is the sound of one electric sheep arcing?' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rogue Nine Posted February 21, 2001 Share Posted February 21, 2001 Go away, Zoom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Sceltor Posted February 21, 2001 Share Posted February 21, 2001 *Shakes head in amusement/wonderment* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andromeda Posted February 21, 2001 Share Posted February 21, 2001 a better sheep joke: a blond woman gets sick of all of the blond jokes and everyone making fun of her so she dyes her hair brown. one day she is driving along a country road when she spies a sheep farm, with the shepherd out with the herd. she pulls over her car and walks to the fence. she calls out to the shepherd, "if i can guess how many sheep you have, can i pick one and take it home with me?" the shepherd agrees to this, thinking she won't guess the number. the blond says, "you have 342 sheep." the farmer is flabbergasted. "that's right!" he exclaims. "can i pick my sheep now?" the blond asks. "i suppose," says the farmer, and she picks out the cutest sheep from among the herd. the farmer thinks for a minute and then says to the blond, "if i can guess your natural hair color, can i have my dog back?" hahahaha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admiral Odin Posted February 21, 2001 Share Posted February 21, 2001 ha ha ------------------ "Dulce bellum inexpertis." (Sweet is war to those who have never experinced it.) Roman Proverb Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rogue Nine Posted February 21, 2001 Share Posted February 21, 2001 That's byoo-tee-ful, Andy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admiral Zaarin Posted February 21, 2001 Share Posted February 21, 2001 That's the best blond joke I've heard in a long time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commander 598 Posted February 21, 2001 Share Posted February 21, 2001 Zoom=Very Bad Joke Andy=Much better joke thatn Zoom ------------------ "Oh, yes I did shoot that green s**t at you!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest emupiett Posted February 21, 2001 Share Posted February 21, 2001 I agree one hundred percent. I was going to say that the best joke yet was NOT by zoom! ------------------ "Intensify forward firepower!!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keyan Farlander Posted February 21, 2001 Share Posted February 21, 2001 This thread is...really weird. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Jabba The Hunt Posted February 21, 2001 Share Posted February 21, 2001 yeah i could tell any number of sheep jokes but the ones i know would probably get not only my ip banned but milkshakes, coffees, etc... aswell so i wont rather pointless post really ------------------ "Life - dont talk to me about life" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Zoom Rabbit Posted February 21, 2001 Share Posted February 21, 2001 ...But I'm not finished yet! Q: why did the electric sheep cross the road? A: Negative sheep charge on the other side. Outta here! *Zoom!* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gold leader Posted February 21, 2001 Share Posted February 21, 2001 I got a much better blond joke: A blond woman goes to the barber's and says: "I'd like to get a haircut." And the barber says: "How do you want it?" The blonde: "Just a bit shorter please. And watch out that you don't cut through that small black wire." The barber starts cutting. But after a while he suddenly gets distracted and cuts right through the wire. He thinks by himself: "I hope she didn't notice anything. I'll just carry on and pretend that nothing has happened." Thus the barber continues to barber his client. But after a few minutes, the woman falls out of her chair and lies still on the floor. The barber tries to keep his head cool and checks her pulse. He comes to the awful conclusion that she's dead. But when he sees that the cut wire leads to a walkman that now lies next to the body, his fear changes into curiosity. He puts the tape in a stereo and hears: "Breathe in.........breathe out.......breathe in........breathe out......." [This message has been edited by Gold leader (edited February 21, 2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Zoom Rabbit Posted February 21, 2001 Share Posted February 21, 2001 I'll bet Gold Leader's seen a few electric sheep in his day! *(Nudge, nudge. Wink, wink.)* Actually, the punch line to the very first sheep joke at the top is supposed to be: (instead of the sheep catching on fire.) The farmer said, 'No, consarnit--everyone knows that sheep lie!' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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