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Electric sheep joke


Guest Zoom Rabbit

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Guest Zoom Rabbit

'It is better to live one day as an electric sheep than to live a thousand lion-lifetimes!'

 

The benefits of energized grazing cannot be underestimated. biggrin.gif

 

Note: lions aren't properly insulated to dispatch electrified prey.

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Over here in Sénégal it's the special time of year where for once, sheeps are the center of attention. What I mean by that is that poor lonely sheeps are adopted by caring families who take care of them and feed them well until the day of "Tabaski" arrives. On that very special day the cute and lovely animal is held by the head of the family who happens to have a knife and cuts the sheep's throat wide open thus ripping apart the entire neck and its inner structure and letting the blood leak, slur, flow, spread, belch forth, spew at a incredible rate: blood will follow blood and so on.

It's very interresting to see, trust me. Goats will also be sacrified, you see the coran says that does who don't have enough $$ to kill a sheep can slaughter a goat.

 

Anyways, I wanted to know:

can the "Electric Sheep" survive Tabaski ??

 

millions of sheep and goats will die slaughtered in about 24 hours, for now I can still hear my neighbour's but not for long. For that I have no school tomorow.

<font size=1>

 

 

 

[This message has been edited by Jem (edited March 05, 2001).]

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Guest Zoom Rabbit

To answer your question, electric sheep need a more varied diet than mere tabasco.* They usually graze wild on zap-grass and voltweed, but in captivity they usually get by on plain, old AC current straight out of the wall. This is where you must be absolutely sure that yours is an electric sheep, because normal sheep react quite differently when introduced to 220 AC!

 

Note: when dispatching these animals, it is important to be well insulated from the ground and wear proper electrician's gloves. I would suggest using a rubber-handled knife as well, for added safety.

 

Have a safe and fun killing spree. smile.gif

 

<font size=1>*'Tabasco' is a hot pepper sauce made in the US.</font>

 

 

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Guest Rogue 9

trys to cut in to sheepp <FONT SIZE=5>*ZAPPPP!*</FONT>lies stunned on ground. biggrin.gif <FONT SIZE=1>

 

[This message has been edited by Rogue 9 (edited March 05, 2001).]

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Ok, I will pass along the message because we don't do the Tabaski stuff, not our culture...

 

And what would come out instead of blood?? and if it's a 110 AC sheep is there no problem using an adaptor to plug it as a 220 or is the electric sheep equiped with one?

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Guest Zoom Rabbit

Most electric sheep have internal adapters--it should say on the plug-in. Some newer models even come with their own modems for internet access. wink.gif

 

Do they bleed? Of course they do...it's just that the iron in their blood is highly magnetized.

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Guest Zoom Rabbit

If one were to take that last sentence of Jem's and paste it up somewhere, out of context, it would be the craziest thing anyone has ever seen!

 

I can't believe we're still telling electric sheep jokes six pages later... wink.gif

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I am currently analysing and decoding your joke, I will soon laugh.

Oh yeah: I made a mistake, the sheep/goat slaughtering was this morning (about 8 hours ago)

and not this night like I thought.

Millions of sheep/electric sheep/goat are now dead.

<font size=1>

 

[This message has been edited by Jem (edited March 06, 2001).]

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Originally posted by Keyan Farlander:

Donna Anna:

Tu sei!... perdon, mio bene -

L'affanno mio, le pene...

Ah! il padre mio dov'è?

 

Don Pecora Elèttrico:

Il padre? Lascia, o cara,

la rimembranza amara.

Hai pardre e pecora elèttrico in me.

 

translation brought to you by Jem

 

Miss Anna:

Tu sei!... pardon me, my dear sir -

My anxiety, sorrows you...

Ah! father of mine where art thou?

 

Sir Electric Sheep:

The father? Gone, or cara,

you remember loving.

To have father and electric sheep in me.

 

What's so Hilarious?? it's kinda 'ebete

 

and while I was decoding all of that thanks to my knowledge and pocket dictionary I supposed you meant pena instead of pene

you see pene means: well I don't want to risk getting in any trouble but this shoud help you: take pene and replace the last e with is and that's what pene means.

and it would be too weird for her to say:

My anxiety, to your pene

 

 

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Originally posted by Jem:

What's so Hilarious?? it's kinda 'ebete

 

and while I was decoding all of that thanks to my knowledge and pocket dictionary I supposed you meant pena instead of pene

you see pene means: well I don't want to risk getting in any trouble but this shoud help you: take pene and replace the last e with is and that's what pene means.

and it would be too weird for her to say:

My anxiety, to your pene

 

I don't speak Italian - I copied that part from elsewhere on the web and replaced the needed parts, so that pene thing was not my fault smile.gif

 

It's funny if you are familiar with this opera. Since it is one of the most famous operas, I thought most people would know this part. What makes it great is that you imagine an electric sheep singing to Donna Anna. That is funny! She is very sad over the death of her father, and Don Ottavio says she will have both a husband and father in him. In this new version, an electric sheep tells her she has both father and electric sheep in him. Get it? No? Well, I laughed when I thought of it...

 

[This message has been edited by Keyan Farlander (edited March 06, 2001).]

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Guest Zoom Rabbit

Edlib, eh? New unit in the house! biggrin.gif Welcome, and please be careful around the sheep...they are charged with high-voltage electricity!

 

Pecora elettrico, eh? Friggin' hilarious, dood. Plan on sharing any of that? wink.gif

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Guest Zoom Rabbit

Edlib, eh? New unit in the house! biggrin.gif Welcome, and please be careful around the sheep...they are charged with high-voltage electricity!

 

Pecora elettrico, eh? Friggin' hilarious, dood. Plan on sharing any of that? wink.gif

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Thanx Z.R. Glad to be here.

Hey, I got a love ballad that I wrote for my electric sheep, and I think it gonna be a big, big hit. It's called "I Get A 12,000 Volt Kick Out Of Ewe"

 

 

Er.... Sorry. I had to. Please don't hurt me.

 

Besides, it's the amps that'll kill ya.

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