How a family bill becomes law.... :-)

[K_Kinnison]

The following steps trace the process by which a paternal proclamation

becomes law in the Cameron household.

 

Step One: The father of the house issues an executive order that all

Saturday activities will be suspended until the garage is cleaned up.

 

Step Two: The children form a committee and produce a report finding the

order totally unconstitutional because it violates the "Cruel and Unusual"

clause.

 

Step Three: The committee report is voided by paternal declaration.

 

Step Four: The ruling is appealed under the "This is stupid nobody else

has to do this kind of stuff" doctrine of the "Equal Protection" clause.

 

Specific examples are cited of other children who are not cleaning their

garages.

 

Step Five: The "nobody else has to" doctrine is rejected as having no

bearing on the case.

 

Step Six: Each child petitions separately for the relief under the "why do

I have to do it none of it is my junk" theory.

 

Step Seven: The father rules that the individuals of the household are a

family, that the junk in the garage belongs to the family, and that the

family has the responsibility of cleaning it up.

 

Step Eight: The children attempt to stay the executive order by evading

subpoena.

 

Step Nine: The father retrieves the children from their bedrooms and

declares notice properly served.

 

Step Ten: The children plead pre-existing obligations that preempt the

paternal proclamation. The oldest is due at the mall, the middle child has

to go to a soccer game, and the youngest is yeah me too.

 

Step Eleven: Clarification is sought from the youngest on which of the two

lame excuses is yeah me too: soccer game or the mall?

 

Step Twelve: The youngest says the soccer game.

 

Step Thirteen: The father rules the soccer game cannot preempt the garage

cleanup.

 

Step Fourteen: The youngest says I meant the mall.

 

Step Fifteen: The father rules the mall cannot preempt the garage cleanup.

 

Step Sixteen: The children pass a resolution that the father is the

meanest man in the world.

 

Step Seventeen: The father agrees to accept the "meanest man" amendment

and calls for an end to the debate.

 

Step Eighteen: The children submit an emergency appeal on the grounds that

there might be mice living in the garage.

 

Step Nineteen: The father issues an executive decree that he has authority

over all rodents and that there are no mice in the garage.

 

Step Twenty: The children move for dismissal, claiming they are exempt

because they have homework to do.

 

Step Twenty-One: The father consults the official Cameron family calendar

and determines there is another day left in the weekend in which homework

can be done.

 

Step Twenty-two: The children file a grievance with the Supreme Court of

the house: their mother. A restraining order is sought prohibiting

enforcement of the father's executive order on the grounds that he never

listens, he is ruining our lives, he's mean, and if he really wants the

garage cleaned up why doesn't he do it himself.

 

Step Twenty-Three: A constitutional crisis is averted when the wife hands

down a decision supporting the father's right to order the children to

clean up the garage.

 

Step Twenty-four: The children declare themselves no longer members of the

family. As stateless persons, they are not subject to parental authority.

 

Step Twenty-five: The father agrees to expedite the emigration of each

child on the date they achieve their majorities. Until the parents are

released by the laws of the State of Colorado from their obligations,

however, the family members are stuck with each other. Meanwhile, the

father identifies further sanctions to be imposed upon delay of compliance

with his order, including suspension of telephone privileges.

 

Step Twenty-six: The teenagers file a brief equating telephone cut-off

with capital punishment.

 

Step Twenty-seven: The father further suspends all use of the family

automobile until the garage is cleaned up enough to park the car in it.

 

Step Twenty-eight: The children petition for relief from further sanctions

by agreeing to clean up the garage.

 

Thus, with these simple 28 steps, a bill moves through the checks and

balances and becomes law.

[JR2000Z]

And 2/3 of the Family Congress have to agree with this?

[Jem]

Originally posted by K_Kinnison:

doctrine of the "Equal Protection" clause.

 

Oh my god! This kind of crisis encourages Communism among the children!

Everybody does the work together, and equally, to build a strong working family.

*Gasp*

 

 

[Nute Gunray]

That's why I live in a sovreign state. We recently acquired the means to project our power into the hallway via a large dowel rod i found in the garage.

[Guest U.C.R Commander]

Communism does work if you cannot become corrupt with power that is Why U.C.R stands for United Communist Republics.

[Guest Rogue 9]

did zaarin Change his name...

[Guest Jabba The Hunt]

yeah this all sounds familiar

 

------------------

Official Forum Newbian

 

"Its Going down his leg i think we are going to have to amputate.

"No, dont take the leg, dont let them take the leg, they cant take the leg!!!"

"Its heading for his testicles"

"Take it, take the leg!!!"

 

jabbathehunt@hotmail.com

[Admiral Zaarin]

No, that's not me, even though I do have a tendancy to pop up with different names now and then. Besides, I don't support communism as it is, I have my own ideas.

[Flying Beastie]

Originally posted by Nute Gunray:

That's why I live in a sovreign state. We recently acquired the means to project our power into the hallway via a large dowel rod i found in the garage.

 

I'd make a joke about American military techniques, but I'm laughing too hard!

 

------------------

It's like I always say: When the going gets tough, the tough . . . switch to artillery.

[K_Kinnison]

So Nutes motto is "In Rod we trust?"

 

Homer Simpson: Stupid Rod

[Admiral Odin]

lol. I have my own country, (called my bedroom); currently we are building up the millitary force to protect our borders, just got a mace, and already have many swords.

 

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"Dulce bellum inexpertis."

(Sweet is war to those who have never experinced it.) Roman Proverb

[Guest Rogue 9]

I Own four Planets, I rule them through PLanetarion, EmpireQuest, and Star Kingdoms. these small portal programs allow me to run my C&C Centers from my small Bunker on earth.

[Darth Sceltor]

I just signed up for Empire Quest...it looks a lot like Planetarion.

[Nute Gunray]

I have designated the rod the RW-01 (For Rod, Wooden Number 1).

[Guest Rogue 9]

Originally posted by Darth Sceltor:

I just signed up for Empire Quest...it looks a lot like Planetarion.

 

on the PA Forums it is commonly refered to as PA's Evil Clone, what you homeworlds Co'ords and what Alliance are you in.

[Darth Sceltor]

I sign up and see it...too complicated to learn for now. I'll stick to PA. I have a galaxy to rule and roids to steal. That takes up most of my online time.

[Guest Dj Skywalka]

Hey, you don't rule over me. As I see it, if it wasn't for me, you probably wouldn't have become GC as soon as you did.

 

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Dj Skweejie

-WORDS OF WISDOM-

Nikita Kruschev likes Iowa corn.

[edlib]

i wish I had a garage...

 

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As the days go by, we face the increasing inevitability that we are alone in a godless, uninhabited, hostile and

meaningless universe. Still, you've got to laugh, haven't you?

[Guest rosencrantz]

*is busy laughing

 

coincidentally, so do i...

[edlib]

I was only joking a little bit with that last post.

I am actually in the middle of the process of buying a house, but a garage is the one thing it doesn't have. Once again my car (a beautiful 2001 VW Passat turbo I LOVE IT!!!!) must be subjected to the harsh New England weather, compounded now by the fact that the new place is only about 10 yards or so from the ocean (ahhh,... a waterfront view! Very nice! But I'm paying a premium to get it!)

Still, all the snow and salt water in the universe is infinitely better for a car than a single trip with it to downtown Boston, which I do a couple times a week, so I really shouldn't be too concerned.

Still, a garage is a nice thing to have.

Maybe someday... one can always hope.

 

------------------

As the days go by, we face the increasing inevitability that we are alone in a godless, uninhabited, hostile and

meaningless universe. Still, you've got to laugh, haven't you?