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Guest Dj Skywalka

Yeah well...

 

Everyday well it is the same that bong lying on the table starts to call my name.

I take a hit and zone out again I'll be paranoid and laughin till quarter till ten.

 

Take that!

 

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Dj Skweejie

-WORDS OF WISDOM-

Your mother was a hampster and your father smelled of elderberries.

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Well I'll relate this little bit

It happens more than I'd like to admit

Late at night she knocks on my door

She's drunk again and looking to score

Well I'll admit I should say no

But it's kinda hard when she's ready to go

I may be dumb

But I'm not a dweeb

I'm just a sucka with no SELF ESTEEM!

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When we younger,

There always seemed like some,

Some perfect mold

That we're supposed to be.

But now we're growing up and,

I see it's just not that way,

Now I feel like someones lied to me,

 

Cause I've been true.

Made good for you.

And now I feel used.

I'm asking you,

How does it feel?

How does it feel?

How does it feel,

To be like you?

 

Tell me now elders,

What were your reasons for

Making it seem

Like you were so much more?

If you want to feel good

Because of our accomplishments,

Why the f*ck

Don't you just do it yourself?

 

Cause I've tried.

Man I've tried.

While you all lied.

So now just tell me,

How does it feel?

How does it feel?

How does it feel,

To be like you?

 

Look at all the families now,

Who don't talk and don't trust

Because of the way

That things have been done.

When will you finally learn

To leave out the bullsh*t

And just be straight with us?

 

Elders - by The Offspring

 

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nitrologo.gif

 

We've been going about this all wrong. This Mr. Stay Puft is okay. He's a sailor, he's in New York.

We get this guy laid, we won't have any trouble.

 

-Dr. Peter Venkman, Ghostbusters

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Guest Dj Skywalka

Oh yeah Oh yeah

Open wide and Swallow the meaning of life

Oh yeah Oh yeah

But not for me I'll do it on my own

Oh yeah Oh yeah

Open wide and swallow the meaning of life

Can't make it work your way

Thanks but no thanks

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Mommy doesn't have her head anymore

Keep it underneath my bed on the floor

Well thats alright man thats okay

She never really used her head anyway

Daddy called me a silly boy

Bet he won't say that anymore

Cause the way his bodys severed in two

His vocal cords are gonna be hard to use

 

BEHEADED

Watch you spurt like a garden hose

BEHEADED

Bloody mess all over my clothes

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Look at me while I look at you,

Seeing eye to eye is something we can never do.

You try to tell me what is right,

I may not know a lot but I know one thing,

 

If you've got the answer,

Then I don't want to know.

If you've got the answer,

Just keep it your own.

 

I wonder why our world is ablaze,

Sometimes I speak aloud to hear what people have to say.

I try to have an open mind,

But your brain and mouth must not be connected.

 

If you've got the answer,

Then I don't want to know.

If you've got the answer,

Just leave me alone.

 

I would be patient but it takes so long.

I don't want all this misinformation,

All the words that you say.

 

Lean on me while I lean on you.

If we destroy each other,

We might save a life or two.

A little sun, a little shine,

Separates us both by forever and a day.

 

If you've got the answer,

Then I don't want to know.

If you've got the answer,

Just keep it your own.

 

If you've got a vision,

Then I don't want to see.

If you've got a notion,

Don't waste it on me.

 

Forever And A Day by - The Offspring

 

------------------

nitrologo.gif

 

We've been going about this all wrong. This Mr. Stay Puft is okay. He's a sailor, he's in New York.

We get this guy laid, we won't have any trouble.

 

-Dr. Peter Venkman, Ghostbusters

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Ladies and gentlemen,

Welcome to the disclaimer!

That's right, the disclaimer!

 

This American apple pie institution,

Known as parental discretion,

Will cleanse any sense of innuendo or sarcasm

From the lyrics that might actually make you think!

And will also insult your intelligence at the same time!

 

So protect your family!

This album contains explicit depictions

Of things which are real!

These real things are commonly known as life!

So, if it sounds sarcastic, don't take it seriously!

If it sounds dangerous,

Do not try this at home or at all!

And if it offends you, just don't listen to it.

 

Disclaimer by - The Offspring

 

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nitrologo.gif

 

We've been going about this all wrong. This Mr. Stay Puft is okay. He's a sailor, he's in New York.

We get this guy laid, we won't have any trouble.

 

-Dr. Peter Venkman, Ghostbusters

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Let's make hand grenades,

From common things around the house!

Let's make hand grenades,

Listen up, we'll show you how!

 

Ok now take an old beer bottle.

Fill it up with gasoline.

Some paint thinner for good measure,

And a sprinkle of maganese.

Now stuff a sock into the top,

With a zippo you'll be king!

 

Lets make hand grenades,

It's hours of fun in a little jar!

Let's make hand grenades,

Try one out on your neighbors car!

 

Hand Grendades by - The Offspring

 

------------------

nitrologo.gif

 

We've been going about this all wrong. This Mr. Stay Puft is okay. He's a sailor, he's in New York.

We get this guy laid, we won't have any trouble.

 

-Dr. Peter Venkman, Ghostbusters

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Three in the morning and I gotta be someplace,

I don't remember where.

Friends try to make me stay, or call me a cab home,

I grab my keys and a beer.

 

Cops they took my licence away,

Got my car out of impound today,

I've been drunk since last saturday,

Better stay out of my way!

 

I drink and drive!

Feel so alive!

Never take that dive!

Feel so alive!

Doing 95!

I drink and drive!

Feel so alive!

I drink and drive!

 

Early in the morning and the freeway's deserted,

Like its all mine.

I'm trying to set a new drunken speed record,

But I can't drive a straight line.

Flashing lights, split the night,

I'm tossing bottles as I swerve to the right.

Now I've slammed my face into the back of a big rig,

At least you'll never get me, you f*cking pigs!

 

Designate someone other than me,

I'm so drunk I can hardly see.

Another shot of jager and I turn the key,

I got so many places to be.

 

I drink and drive!

Feel so alive!

Never take that dive!

Feel so alive!

Doing 95!

I drink and drive!

Feel so alive!

I drink and drive!

 

When I'm on a binge, my friends all cringe,

They won't drive at night.

Cause way down on the freeway it's such a fright,

But I think I drive alright!

 

D.U.I. by - The Offspring

 

------------------

nitrologo.gif

 

We've been going about this all wrong. This Mr. Stay Puft is okay. He's a sailor, he's in New York.

We get this guy laid, we won't have any trouble.

 

-Dr. Peter Venkman, Ghostbusters

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I saw a little kid

As he walked around.

He picked a candy bar up

Off the ground.

He chowed about a half

Then his face turned blue.

Turned out that candy bar was

Doggy-doo.

 

Don't pick it up I say,

Unless you can throw it away.

Don't pick it up I say,

You're gonna be bummed that you went that way!

 

You're out there makin' bacon,

No scrutiny.

You mess around too much

And you got VD.

You know you never think

And you're sore today.

You're gonna take it back to

California.

 

Don't pick it up I say,

Unless you can throw it away.

Don't pick it up I say,

You're gonna be bummed that you went that way!

 

My friend was kinda hurtin'

For a girl to try.

He saw one that looked like Pat

On Saturday Night Live.

It had a pair of thingies

But a mustache too.

Not clearly male nor female

So now what to do?

 

Don't pick it up I say,

Unless you can throw it away.

Don't pick it up I say,

You're gonna be bummed that you went that way!

 

Don't Pick It Up by - The Offspring

 

------------------

nitrologo.gif

 

We've been going about this all wrong. This Mr. Stay Puft is okay. He's a sailor, he's in New York.

We get this guy laid, we won't have any trouble.

 

-Dr. Peter Venkman, Ghostbusters

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I can't believe I did all those from memory!!! *dies*

 

------------------

nitrologo.gif

 

We've been going about this all wrong. This Mr. Stay Puft is okay. He's a sailor, he's in New York.

We get this guy laid, we won't have any trouble.

 

-Dr. Peter Venkman, Ghostbusters

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Oh I wish I were an Oscar Mier Wiener!

That is what I'd truly love to be!

For if I were an Oscar Mier Wiener,

Everyone would be in love with me!

 

------------------

Was I supposed to eat the heads too? 'Cause I took nooo prisioners!

 

Once again, evil is defeated through the use of decorative agricultural technology!

 

Official forum Psychic

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Originally posted by Darth Sceltor:

Night all, and don't forget to buy all the Offspring CD's! (Americana is NOT their first one!!)

 

In order of release, with record label and year of release:

 

The Offspring - Nemesis (1989), Nitro (1995)

Ignition - Epitaph (1992)

Smash - Epitaph (1994)

Ixnay On The Hombre - Columbia (1997)

Americana - Columbia (1998)

Conspiracy Of One - Columbia (2000)

 

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nitrologo.gif

 

We've been going about this all wrong. This Mr. Stay Puft is okay. He's a sailor, he's in New York.

We get this guy laid, we won't have any trouble.

 

-Dr. Peter Venkman, Ghostbusters

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Guest Jabba The Hunt

Hi, welcome, ive started to get a bit fed up with my job so im going to train you as a replacement, believe me you really really really will enjoy it, and it will give you endless amounts of joy etc, let me demostrate (please refere to the post on the boards intilted - "This is how to do it"

 

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Official Forum Newbian

 

"Its Going down his leg i think we are going to have to amputate.

"No, dont take the leg, dont let them take the leg, they cant take the leg!!!"

"Its heading for his testicles"

"Take it, take the leg!!!"

 

jabbathehunt@hotmail.com

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Shut up, Jabba!

 

------------------

nitrologo.gif

 

We've been going about this all wrong. This Mr. Stay Puft is okay. He's a sailor, he's in New York.

We get this guy laid, we won't have any trouble.

 

-Dr. Peter Venkman, Ghostbusters

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Guest Jabba The Hunt

look at the good treatment you get by taking my place as the offical forum newbian.

 

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Official Forum Newbian

 

"Its Going down his leg i think we are going to have to amputate.

"No, dont take the leg, dont let them take the leg, they cant take the leg!!!"

"Its heading for his testicles"

"Take it, take the leg!!!"

 

jabbathehunt@hotmail.com

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Hey RL05:

 

Aren't you sorry you asked now?

 

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As the days go by, we face the increasing inevitability that we are alone in a godless, uninhabited, hostile and

meaningless universe. Still, you've got to laugh, haven't you?

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*pronounces RL05 as Arlo-Five, then squints, and sees RLOS* Arlos!!! (like Carlos without the "C") From now on you're name is Arlos!

 

------------------

nitrologo.gif

 

We've been going about this all wrong. This Mr. Stay Puft is okay. He's a sailor, he's in New York.

We get this guy laid, we won't have any trouble.

 

-Dr. Peter Venkman, Ghostbusters

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