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Supreme Unexcelled Posting Sutra


Guest Zoom Rabbit

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Guest Zoom Rabbit

It's late, and I've been reading obscure Buddhist teachings called sutras again. Consequently, I've decided to give the writing form a try...on a secular issue: posting etiquette. smile.gif Enjoy.

 

Thus have I heard:

That the kinds of forumites are many

That those kinds are not all favorable

And these miserable kinds happen without cause

Woe to the forumite who is of the miserable kind!

Without cause he feels he is shunned

Having desired to annoy no one, they are nonetheless annoyed

How then may they avoid the pot hole of the miserable forumite?

How can ignorance be transormed?

Receive now the signs and avoid them as a snake in the grass

The bad signs, they bring misery to the forumite

Receive now these truths!

 

When the forumite is young, he is a newbie

Having made no mistakes, they are all before him

Having made no friends, none will defend him

Having no wiles, with misery shall he find company

These three things he needs most!

Making mistakes is the great teacher; may he see others make them first and thus be spared

Making friends is the first goal; they will show one mistakes so he may avoid them

Learning wiles is the lesser goal; remember the order

With reverence he must cherish these three if he is to avoid misery

 

The discussion forum is like a great hall

Full of courtiers armed with swords, and no king

The slightest sound will travel up the rafters to the dome and be heard by all

Learn this well: sound carries!

Before speaking with the booming voice, one should try quiet gestures

One will thus find a good volume without shouting

One will also hear the mistakes of others and thus avoid them

He who shouts receives misery--it is his due

 

The key to friendship in the great hall is presents

Who is this beggar who comes empty handed?

Away with him--bearing nothing, he will only take!

We have no need to fill empty arms

Now the forumite who brings gifts for the hall of courtiers will be well received

Let him then bring us funny jokes and interesting links

Let the newbie dance and entertain the hall

Until he has posted six hundred times he is unmasked and inferior

The newbie who accepts and moves beyond this is spared; this is the secret

Owed nothing, expecting nothing, he is rewarded

 

Misery is still the bounty of he without wiles

Knowing not the joke, he is offended

Knowing not the game, he is blown up in outer space

Knowing not how to prick back others when pricked, he is the target

Remember the order of goals:

Friends, then wiles

And the pricking no longer is misery

 

These three are the ways

To learn well, the newbie is well advised

See beyond!

This is not a page with words

Cherish the three ways and be a forumite of patient honor

 

Om! Peace! (end)

 

Hah? biggrin.gif

 

 

------------------

'What's up is clearly defined as the opposite of what is down, in this case being the strongest source of local gravity...failing that, in space, what's up is opposite the direction of accelerative G-force--or what I'm targeting with these laser cannon. Die, b*tch!'

 

--Official forum space terrorist

 

 

[This message has been edited by Zoom Rabbit (edited August 15, 2001).]

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Guest Zoom Rabbit

The kama sutra is one of my favorites, but no, I wasn't reading it...sicko. rolleyes.gif

 

I say all newbies be required to read my sutra. That way we find out right away if they have the patience to keep up with the longer threads. biggrin.gif

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Guest Zoom Rabbit

I can tell you kids aren't reading it, cause there's stuff in there to make fun of that no one's picking up on. rolleyes.gif

 

'The pricking no longer is misery.' C'mon, that's a hand-off...

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Guest Zoom Rabbit

Well, at least Crackbaby liked it. *Sigh*

 

I tried a narrative use of Kabbalah called pathworking to do a thread called 'A very nice story that has nothing to do with Star Wars' once at RS.Net. That one got an even more confounded reception. biggrin.gif

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Guest Zoom Rabbit

I fixed the italics, but Wally the space dolphin says he isn't responsible for this hippy claptrap. biggrin.gif

 

He'd just as soon watch the newbies all make idiots of themselves...

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Zoom, just how much crack are you on?

 

Just kidding. If you read through it, it actually makes a whole bunch of sense, which is highly atypical for any of Zoomie's posts. biggrin.gif

 

Away with him--bearing nothing, he will only take!

 

Yeah and we all know where he's taking from, goshdarnit.

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