Twenty-Five Days

[Digitaldreamer]

Happy December first, all!

 

Okay, so here's the deal. A few days ago I made a thread saying I was going to make an advent calander style fic.

 

I have begun this fic, hence forth known as “Twenty-five days”. Every day, from now until Christmas, I will post one chapter, ranging from 300 to 1000 or so words in length. Each chapter will be a separate vignette, which may or may not be connected to the chapters previous. Some vignettes will be continuations of previous chapters, some will be stand-alones, but they will all have to do with two things: Psychonauts and the Holiday Season. In the end, they should all tie together to form the most insanely awesome Christmas fic ever.

 

Well, I can dream, anyway. I probably won't succeed at the whole “updating every day” thing, but I can try.

 

The first two chapters are setting up my main plots for this fic (because yes, there is in fact, a plot. Shocker with me, I know) and aren't so amusing...but the rest, hopefully should be. Or else they'll be heart-warming or whatever.

 

So anyway, onward~!

 

Title: Twenty-Five Days

Author Digitaldreamer

Length: Twenty-five chapters, one for every day until Christmas.

Rating: PG-13

Pairings: Raz/Lili, some Milla/Sasha, Elton/Milka, and Elka/Nils

Warnings: Annoying, exceedingly happy OC whom exists soley for the purpose of being aggrivating, constant spreading of cheer, general merry-making, and making fun of most traditions of doom. Of any of the above offend you, you've been warned.

Summary: Lili says she hates Christmas, so Raz is going to do everything in his power to change that! But between a psychotic decorator bent on spreading Christmas Cheer™ the campers all showing up, and Evil Mall Santa's it's not going to be easy. Can Raz do it, or will this be the worst Christmas ever?

 

Day One: And So It Begins...

 

The great, hulking building that made up Psychonauts HQ was always a busy place. Agents rushed this way and that, going through security measure after security measure to get to their desks. Elevators chimed, carrying agents from one floor to another. The tapping of hundreds of keyboards could be heard as reports were typed up at insane speeds, case files covering desks and chairs. Pens, papers, and notes telekinetically flew over cubicles, most agents not even casting the objects a second glance as they wandered towards the break room to get more coffee.

 

Ah yes, just your average day at Psychonauts HQ, or so one would think at first glance. But no, today was in fact, just a bit different. Cold drafts could be felt whenever the doors were opened, bringing with them whispers of ice and snow. The chatter among the agents was slightly more jovial than usual, and the music was indeed a bit different from the usual that played over the intercom. Some agents were even humming along with the tunes.

 

It wasn't yet in full swing yet, but indeed, the Christmas Season was upon the Psychonauts agency.

 

Raz was already apparently in the spirit of things as he walked across the main floor of the agency, a stack of papers in hand. He had chosen to only wear the top of his Psychonauts uniform today, along with a pair of simple jeans and a tan jacket Milla had insisted he start wearing, as it was getting quite chilly outside. He had to admit, Milla had been right, and so in order to help keep warm the ten-year old had taken to wearing a long, light green scarf with red stripes. Not only was warm, but it did this cool fwooshy thing whenever the wind blew hard enough, which he personally thought gave a rather nifty, dramatic sort of effect.

 

“Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the waaay~!” The boy sang under his breath as he made his way through the halls. Though it was early, he was already rather excited for the quickly coming holidays. How could he not be? He had always celebrated the holidays back at the circus, it had never been much of a celebration since they were always so busy with training and everything. This year, however, things would be different. This would be his first Christmas spent at the Psychonauts agency! That meant he'd be there with Sasha and Milla and all of the other friends he had made around the agency.

 

But best of all, he'd get to spend it around Lili. No amount of presents could compare to that.

 

“Oh what fun it is to ride in a one horse open slei-- HEY!” He yelped as black, green and pink blur of something quite suddenly slammed into him, knocking him back. The ten-year old groaned, rubbing his head. “Ah, what was-- oh, Lili!” He sputtered, realizing the pink thing was in fact his girlfriend.

 

Lili rolled her eyes, placing her hands on her hips. “Wow, how observant of you, Sherlock.” She drawled. “Did you figure that out yourself, or did someone help you?” She was clad in a long-sleeved green striped shirt, and over this she wore a short-sleeved black zip-up hoodie, as well as her usual pink skirt and boots.

 

“Heh...sorry.” Raz said, reaching up to adjust his goggles, which had been knocked askew. “How are you?”

 

“Fine.” Lili muttered, fiddling absently with one of her pigtails. “Though I'd be better if they'd stop playing these stupid carols...it's way too early.”

 

“I think they're kinda catchy myself.” The goggle-headed boy said with a shrug. “And it is December. Aren't you excited?”

 

Lili snorted. “About Christmas? Are you kidding? I hate this stupid holiday.”

 

From Raz's expression, you would think he had just been told True Psychic Tales had been taken off the shelves. “You...hate it? Why!?” He sputtered.

 

“Why not?” Lili scowled. “It's so commercialized! All the stupid ho ho ho's and the stupid sales and the stupid decorating and the stupid cards and...ugh, it's so ...so...stupid!”

 

Raz stared at her for a moment. “...Wow, that's a lot of stupid.”

 

“Because it's all stupid, stupid.” The brunette snapped, folding her arms before her.

 

Raz sighed. “Yeah, I guess the holiday's a bit commercialized, but still...I mean, it's an excuse to give gifts and relax with friends and family, hm? I mean, you have to like that part at least, right?”

 

Lili snorted. “Friends and family?” She murmured, tugging absently at her sleeve as a far-away look came to her eyes. “What friends? And dad's always too busy to be around for the holidays anyway...I usually end up spending it here, and the agency is always pretty empty around that time. Not that I care or anything.”

 

“Whoa...” Raz muttered after a moment of silence. “Man...I'm sorry.”

 

“Don't be.” Lili muttered. “It's not like I care or anything. It's just another stupid month, that's all.”

 

“Oh come on, don't say that!” Raz admonished. “Come on, maybe this year will be different!”

 

Lili gave a harsh laugh at this. “Different? Yeah right.”

 

“Hey, you never know! I mean..well, you never had me around for the holidays before, now have you?” The boy asked, flashing a grin.

 

Lili watched him for a moment, looking almost like she was going to smile. However, instead of smiling she scoffed, walking past Raz and down the hall. “Whatever, Raz. You'd better hurry and get that paperwork delivered, huh?” She called behind her.

 

Raz stood there for a moment, staring after her. Though she acted as if she didn't care, Raz could tell.

 

She was sad.

 

Well, he'd have to change that.

 

“Don't worry, Lili! You may have had some bad Christmas's in the past, but things will be different this time! I promise!” Raz called after her. “In fact...uh...it'll be the Best Christmas Ever! Mark my words!”

 

Lili didn't even turn around, she just kept walking.

 

Raz grinned to himself as he turned around, hugging the paperwork to himself. Sure, Lili didn't seem excited now, but she'd see! He'd make her see! Things would be different this year, he'd make her smile!

 

With that, Raz continued down the hallway, beginning to sing again. “Oh what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh...BEST CHRISTMAS EVEEEEEEEER~!”

 

Little did he realize that with those three simple words, he had just doomed himself and everyone he came in contact with to the most insane holiday season that they had ever experienced.

 

Christmas would never be the same.

 

---

 

Dundundun!

 

To Be Continued...

 

So, what did you think? I'd love to get some replies and hear your thoughts on this whole thing, guys...if only to know that, you know, I'm not gonna be doing this all for nothing. Here, I'll even give you a sneak-peekof what's coming up:

 

 

Sasha vs. The Lights (“One goes out, they all go out!”)

 

The Putting Up of the Artificial Tree , aka“Half of the crap on this diagram was not in the box”

 

The Horrible Christmas Shopping of Doom

 

WOMG MISTLETOE

 

Crystal & Clem's Magical North Pole Adventure!

 

And yes, more!

 

All of the campers will be making appearances, and perhaps even some of our friends from Thorney Towers. It should be fun..right? Right.

 

Right..um...I believe that's all. See you all tomorrow~!

[Digitaldreamer]

Okay so ah...no feedback..but I guess that's okay, it wasn't up too long anyway...still guys, really, any sort of feedback would be nice.

 

Right, so it's a bit early, but it's technically December 2nd, so if I post now I won't have to worry about it later...right, here we go~!

 

Day Two: Operation: Christmas Cheer™

 

It all started due to a stroke of simple bad luck. Our favorite group of psychics just happened to be in the exact wrong place at the exact wrong time. This, of course, isn't too uncommon for some people, but in this case the results were less-than-pleasant, even by normal standards.

 

The disastrous tale of which you are about to be told began in a seemingly innocent place, the break room of Psychonauts HQ. Sasha was brewing some coffee in order to keep himself from passing out over his desk, while Milla was seated at the table eating a salad. Raz and Lili happened to be there as well that day, Raz on his lunch break and Lili having the day off from school.

 

Our four psychics were all having a rather decent conversation when, quite suddenly, Truman Zonatto came bursting in. “Sasha! Milla! Raz! Lili!” He cried out, listing each agent (or in Lili's case, his daughter) by name.

 

“What!?” All four exclaimed at once, getting to their feet...or in Sasha's case, quite nearly dropping his half-full cup of steaming-hot coffee.

 

“Perfect! All four of you will be excellent for this!” Truman declared.

 

“Why, what is it, darling?” Milla asked.

 

“Is it some super secret mission where we get to save the world again!?” Raz asked, sounding excited.

 

“Sir, is it some sort of great emergency?” Sasha asked.

 

“Wait, why are you asking me!?” Lili sputtered. “I'm your daughter, not one of your agents!”

 

Truman grinned. “You're all perfect for this year's holiday committee!”

 

Silence for a few seconds.

 

“What!?” All four psychics sputtered.

 

“Again, why are you asking me!?” Lili exclaimed. “What part of 'I am not a Psychonaut yet' aren't you getting, dad!?”

 

Truman shrugged. “Well, uh, you know, I guess this place isn't very Christmassy. So...well, you know, I had to find some people to and you guys happened to be around. Hell knows I don't have time for it. So yeah, you're all on this year's holiday committee~! It is hereby your duty to decorate this place...y'know, make it look Christmassy and what not.” He declared lazily.

 

Silence once more.

 

“...Uh...all four of us...for the entire agency?” Raz said slowly.

 

“Isn't that a bit...extreme?” Milla asked.

 

“I'm foreign. I don't understand enough of the holiday to participate.” Sasha declared, in spite of the fact that he had been a citizen of the states since the eighties.

 

“I don't work here!” Lili exclaimed.

 

“Yes, yes, that's nice.” Truman drawled offhandedly. “Right, anyway...well, here, I have an Agent who's volunteered herself to be your coordinator.” With that he stepped aside to reveal a tall young woman with blindingly bright, pink hair that was pulled back into pig-tails, golden bells jingling from them as she walked into the room. She was clad in short black mini-skirt, tight red top with white fuzz, knee-high boots and a fuzzy-santa hat that screamed “holiday cheer”.

 

“Hiii~! I'm Tessie, and I'll be your Christmas Cheer™ Coordinator this year~!” She chirped brightly, flashing a dazzling, slightly creepy grin.

 

The four psychics all stared blankly at the cheerful woman for a moment, then turned to Truman.

 

“Wait, Truman, I really don't think--”

 

“Sweetie, maybe someone else would--”

 

“Gah, Mr.Zanotto sir--”

 

“Dad!”

 

“No, you can't get out of it. Just have fun, okay?” Truman chirped, giving a jolly wave before turning and walking away. “Also, I'm docking your pay if you don't do it.” He called behind him.

 

Silence.

 

“But...but...” Raz whimpered.

 

“You don't pay me at all!” Lili shrieked. “I don't work here, why can't anyone remember that!?”

 

Tessie just beamed. “Alright folks, come on! We have a lot to get done and the holiday season only comes but once a year~! So let's get to work, we have a lot of Christmas Cheer™ to spread~!”

 

“Why are you doing that?” Raz asked.

 

“Doing what, little boy?” Tessie asked sweetly.

 

“The...™ ...thing...you're like, saying it out loud.” The goggle-headed boy said, brow furrowing. You really don't need to say it outloud...and is that even legal!? I mean...are you allowed to put a trade-mark on cheer?”

 

Silence for a few seconds.

 

“...Right, so anyway~!” Tessie chirped, clapping her hands. “Let's work on assignments, shall we!?”

 

“But--” Raz began, but Tessie interrupted him.

 

“Okay, so we have a bunch of stuff to do together, but for now I'm going to stick you all with specific jobs.” She said. “Milla, you're in charge of indoor decorations. That means holly on the stairwells, mistletoe, fake snow, the tree, the whole scha-bang!”

 

Milla let out a sigh and gave a small smile. “I...suppose I can do that.”

 

“Razputin, you're in charge of Christmas cards, cookies, and--”

 

“Christmas cards?” Raz repeated. “Wait, what?”

 

“Sasha, you're in charge of the lights~!”

 

Sasha's brow furrowed. “The...the lights?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“But...but...I...” Sasha sputtered, trying to come up with a good reason to avoid such a harrowing job.

 

“What do I do?” Lili demanded, putting her hands on her hips.

 

“You?” Tessie asked, blinking. Then she beamed, squatting down and ruffling Lili's hair. “Aw, so sweet! Did you come with Daddy to work today?”

 

“If you don't get your hands off of me this second I'll set you on fire.” Lili snarled.

 

Tessie removed her hand on the blink of an eye, chuckling. “Oh come now, Lilianna, that's not displaying Christmas Cheer™ ~!”

 

Lili scowled up at her.

 

“Right...well, you're adorable, so I figure we'll just have you spreading cheer around the building and helping wherever help is needed.” Tessie spoke through her grin. “Now then...I know it's a lot, but we'll all spread it around, I promise! I'm sure once we're done everything will be chock full of Christmas Cheer™ ~! Right everyone!?”

 

Silence.

 

Tessie's eyes narrowed. “...Right. Okay then, let's get moving! To your jobs, everyone!” The psychics all gave mumbles ranging from annoyed to confused to vaguely excited and trudged out the door.

 

Operation: Christmas Cheer™ had begun.

 

---

 

To Be Continued...

[Miss_Mayhem]

Eep! 'Twill be awesome.

[DylanMay]

The TM thing killed me. I've been laughing non-stop about it forever. Great job!

[Digitaldreamer]

Wow, thanks for the feedback, you guys! Glad to hear you all enjoyed the TM joke. ^^

 

Ah, not much else to say...I'm just posting this real quick before getting back to the next chapter of CP...

 

Right, enjoy~!

 

Day Three: The Tree

 

Aka

 

“Half of The Crap on This Diagram Was Not In The Box”

 

“So...why are we using an artificial tree again?” Raz grumbled as he and Sasha telekinetically lifted a gigantic box into the main floor of the agency, the words “100% Artificial Tree! Over twenty feet!” stamped on the front. Lili and Milla followed, appearing annoyed and worried respectively.

 

“Because some people are allergic.” Tessie chirped as she entered behind them, munching on a candy cane and doing absolutely nothing to help. “We wouldn't want allergies ruining anyone's Christmas Cheer™ , now would we?”

 

“You know, as far as I'm aware, no one in this agency has pine allergies.” Sasha pointed out.

 

Tessie ignored him. “Okay boys, put the box over there~!”

 

Sasha and Raz grumbled, but did as they were told. “Okay, now what?” Raz asked, brushing himself off.

 

“Now you put it together~!” Tessie cheered, clapping her hands. “Make sure it's right in the middle where everyone can see it, okay~!?” With that, she turned and skipped away.

 

“But...aren't you going to help!?” Raz cried after her.

 

“Oh, no, I have far too much Cheer™ to spread~!” Tessie called behind her. “Have fun~!”

 

“Well, she's turning out to be a huge help so far...” Lili grumbled.

 

“About as useful as the blue screen of death on a window's machine.” Sasha agreed dully.

 

“Oh, come on you two, cheer up.” Milla admonished. “We have no choice, so we may as well have fun, right?”

 

“Yeah yeah...” Raz muttered as he opened the box.

 

And so, the horror that was known as the assembly of the artificial Christmas tree began.

 

“Okay, where are the B branches, darling?” Milla called from where she was levitating.

 

“There aren't any.” Sasha replied after taking a few moments to survey the various piles of branches.

 

“What? Darling, they're the ones with the periwinkle stripes.”

 

Sasha let out a long sigh. “Milla, I'm color-blind, remember? And I believe the ones you are referring to are in fact, I's.”

 

“What? But there aren't any I's on the diagram!” Raz exclaimed, glancing from the sheet of paper to the aforementioned pile of branches. He then frowned, squinting at them. “Are you sure those are I's? I think you're looking at them wrong, they might be H's...except those aren't on the diagram either.”

 

“Whatever, just toss one up, would you?” Lili snapped, levitating as well. “Look, try M or something, I think that's the row we're on.”

 

“M?” Raz repeated, brow furrowing. “But we're on P!”

 

Lili blinked. “No we're not, we used P three rows down!”

 

“...”

 

“...Crap.” The brunette cursed. “Alright, come on Milla, we missed a row...or five. We're gonna have to start removing them.”

 

“...This branch says it is an X ½..” Sasha suddenly spoke up, holding up a branch.

 

“...X ½?” Raz repeated blankly. He glanced at the diagram, then back at the branch, baffled. “How the hell do you have half a letter?”

 

Sasha just shook his head, at loss for words.

 

“Augh, this is impossible! Whoever made this diagram wasn't thinking, they just put down letters at random, it's the only explanation!” Raz cried, throwing up his hands in frustration. However, after doing so he paused, blinking. “Hey...I've got an idea! How about I use clairvoyance on the branches? That should show us how to put these things up, no trouble!”

 

Lli made a face. “Clairvoyance? On these things?” She asked, holding a fake branch as far away from her as possible. “I dunno, with these things it might be a bit dangerous...”

 

“Aw, come on, what could happen?” Raz asked as he picked up a branch. “They're just tree branches.”

 

Milla and Sasha both glanced over just as Raz was about to use the power. “No! Razputin, don't--”

 

But it was too late, the third eye had already appeared on Raz's forehead. It blinked once.

 

Twice.

 

Raz suddenly fell back with a shrill, girly cry, clutching at his head. “Raz!” Lili yelped, dropping to the ground and rushing over to her boyfriend, Milla and Sasha close behind.

 

The goggle-headed boy lay on the floor, rocking back and forth in a fetal position and twitching at random. He mumbled to himself as he rocked and shivered, green eyes staring sightlessly ahead. The three psychics hovered around Raz, concern etched across their faces.

 

“Is he...” Lili whispered.

 

Sasha frowned thoughtfully, quickly checking the boy over. Finally he stepped back. “He's fine. Just seems to be in some sort of shock.”

 

“Oh my...I wonder what he could have seen to make him react like that?” Milla murmured, picking up the branch.

 

“Isn't it obvious? These things are possessed!” Lili exclaimed, casting the branch a hateful glare. “I don't know about you, but I quit!”

 

“Oh no you don't~!” Tessie's voice suddenly piped up. The three psychics all jumped, spinning around to see the pink-haired girl standing there, just beaming.

 

“What the! When did you--” Milla sputtered.

 

“How did you just...appear without any of us noticing?” Lili asked, eyes wide.

 

Sasha just stared.

 

“Never underestimate the power of Christmas Cheer™~!” Tessie chirped. “Now then, shouldn't you all be working?”

 

“Um..well...perhaps we could get a different tree, Tessie darling?” Milla asked. “You see, Razputin seems to have had...a strange reaction to this one--”

 

“It's possessed. We need to burn it, lady.” Lili declared. “Now stand aside before you get caught in the blast.”

 

Tessie just kept smiling. “Oh, aren't you cute? But no, I'm afraid we can't get another one, there's simply not enough time! You'll simply have to make do! Now come on, let's get going! We have Christmas Cheer™ to spread~!” She said, clapping her hands together.

 

Silence.

 

“But...Raz is kind of...having a seizure. Shouldn't we...do something about that?” Lili asked slowly.

 

“Oh, he'll be fine. Just stick him in a corner or something.” Tessie giggled. “Now then, get to work~! And remember, Christmas Cheer™~!”

 

And so they did just that. The twitching Raz was placed off to the side and given helpful pats now and then in hopes that he would eventually “get better”, while the rest of the time was spent working on the tree. After about half an hour spent puzzling over the diagram, the three psychics finally gave up, “accidentally” used pyrokinetics on the diagram, and just put the branches up as they saw fit.

 

An hour or so later Raz finally snapped out it, blinking blearily. “Huh...whoa?” He stood up, rubbing his head. “What was I....whoa...”

 

Towering before him stood the tree. It was indeed twenty feet tall, just as the box said...but it looked far better than the tree on the box did.

 

“Oh, Razputin, you're up!” Sasha said, walking over.

 

Milla, upon noticing Raz's confused look at the mention of “up” quickly beamed and changed the subject. “What do you think?” She asked, gesturing to the tree.

 

“I love it! It's awesome!” He beamed, glancing over at Lili. “What do you think?”

 

The pig-tailed girl rolled her eyes. “It looks stupid.” She muttered, causing Raz's face to fall.

 

“Aw, come on Lili. Try to--”

 

“Oh, wow!” Tessie suddenly exclaimed, appearing out of nowhere. “That looks great, you guys! You did a fantastic job~!”

 

“No thanks to the stupid diagram.” Lili grumbled.

 

Tessie just beamed. “Right, well, that's done. Now decorate it!”

 

Silence.

 

“What?” Raz sputtered. “After all that you want us to decorate it too!? Right now!?”

 

“Yup~!” Tessie grinned, then spun on her heels. "Good luck~! And remember, Christmas Cheer™ ~!”

 

With that, she walked away, apparently unaware of the murderous glares the “holiday committee” was sending her way.

 

---

 

To Be Continued...

[DarthAve]

“Oh, no, I have far too much Cheer™ to spread~!” Tessie called behind her. “Have fun~!”

Translated to...

"I'M GONNA GO DRINK SOME OF THE HAPPY SAUCE WHILE YOU DO ALL THE WORK! I'M YOUR SLAVEMASTER! KTHX!"

 

Fabulous. Tessie really belongs in Whoville with Crystal and Clem

 

Tessie-CHRISTMAS IS AWESOME!!

Crystal-OMG TOTALLY

Clem-FOR SURE!!!

All three-FA WHO FOR AES, DA WHO DOR AES WELCOME CHRISTMAS BRING YOUR CHEER!

Grinch-SHUT UP YOU MORONS!!

[DylanMay]

zomg, this is SO hilarious. You should cross-post it to fanfic.net. I'd totally fav it. K, I sound like a teenage girl. Moving on.

 

Wasn't that "I tree branch" thing on Sasha's livejournal? XD

[Digitaldreamer]

Actually, I've put it up on FF as well. *noddunoddu* I've posted it, like, EVERYWHERE EVER.

 

You can find the FF.net link here.

 

And yes, the "I" thing was indeed posted on Sasha's LJ. XD I go through it every year, and thus I must spread my pain to the internets.

 

And yes, Tessie does indeed belong in Whoville...keep that in mind, you may be surprised later. *cackles evilly and rubs hands together*

[DarthAve]

And yes, Tessie does indeed belong in Whoville...keep that in mind, you may be surprised later. *cackles evilly and rubs hands together*

ARE YOU IMPLYING A GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS CROSSOVER??

 

Marry me.

[Digitaldreamer]

Well everyone, it is time for what you've all been waiting for. That's right, it's the first part of Sasha's great battle against the lights! Dundundun!

...um, right, I believe that's all. Reviews are, as always, greatly appreciated.

Onward!

 

Day Four: Sasha vs. The Lights

 

Episode One: An Enlightening Experience, Except Not

 

 

It was time.

 

The stage was set. The main floor of the agency was utterly silent save for the occasional clicking of keys from a keyboard and a telephone ring. At the very center stood The Tree in all its magnificent, some-assembly-required glory. Before it stood Raz, Lili, Milla and Sasha, ornaments and tinsel strewn around there. And there in Sasha's gloved hands were the lights.

 

“Alright, come on Sasha, we can't decorate until you get the lights up.” Raz said.

 

“Yeah, come on, what's the hold-up?” Lili snapped, hands on her hips. She really just wanted to get this over with so she could go do something non-Christmas related.

 

Sasha just stood there, staring up at the tree.

 

Milla's brow furrowed. “Sasha? Darling?”

 

The German man looked from the tree to the lights and back again. “Ach....” Here he was again. The lights.

 

“Sasha? What's wrong?” Raz asked, quirking a brow. “I mean, they're just lights.”

 

“Ah...yes...” Sasha said, slowly reaching up to adjust his sunglasses.

 

“Yeah. What, do you think your light stringing abilities are cursed or something?” Lili snorted.

 

Sasha visibly tensed at this, his eyes widening from behind his glasses. Cursed?

 

“Sascha!? Sascha, what have you done to my lights!?I give you a job and this is what you do!?”

 

“Ach, I'm sorry ma'am! I'm sorry, I'll fix it right away!”

 

“No need, child! You have ruined my Christmas! Get away from my house you...you...MONSTER!”

 

“I-it's just lights, I can fix it--”

 

“SASCHA NEIN, I HEREBY CURSE YOU! From now until the day you die, you will never be able to rig up another lights display! Everything you touch will be ruined, just as what has happened to mine! Every bulb you touch will go out, and there will be no extension cords in sight! CURSE YOU, SASHA NEIN! CURSE YOU! AHAHAHAHAHA!”

 

Sasha's eye visibly twitched. Ordinarily he didn't believe in curses, but ever since that day he hadn't been able to touch one of those varicolored bulbs without something going wrong.

 

“Sasha? Sweetie...if you really don't want to, I can put up the lights...” Milla offered gently.

 

“NO!” Sasha cried, startling the Brazilian. “Ah...I mean..no, it's fine. I can do it.” He said, offering a small smile and holding up the lights. “Right. Lights.” He glanced up at the tree, eyes narrowing. With that he concentrated on the lights, meaning to lift them all up and wind them into the branches telekinetically.

 

With a loud pop, one of the brilliant bulbs exploded, causing everyone to jump.

 

“Whoa.” Raz commented.

 

“Er...perhaps we can...hide it in the branches?” Sasha suggested.

 

At that comment the rest of the bulbs exploded, showering the party with tiny shards of colorful broken glass and drawing yelps of surprise from all of them.

 

“...Well, that's certainly not normal.” Milla said shakily. Raz and Lili both gave nods of agreement as they shook off bits of glass.

 

Sasha nodded. “...Perhaps I should...ah...just put them up normally.”

 

“I...I really think that would be best.” Milla agreed.

 

The German Psychonaut dug through the boxes until he came to some more lights, tugging a twisting, prismatic strand loose. The moment he did, however, the strand flew back into his face to tangle around him like a writhing, kaleidoscopic snake of holiday cheer. Sasha let out a cry of surprise, trying to pull the lights off of him. This struggling only succeeded in making him more tangled, however.

 

After a few minutes of struggling Sasha finally paused, only to realize that Milla, Raz, and Lili were all laughing at him. The German glared at them, which only seemed to make them laugh harder.

 

“Sasha, darling,” Milla finally said through giggles as she used telekinesis to untangle the pale-skinned man. “They're just lights. You're acting as if they're trying to attack you or something.” With that, she held out the straightened lights.

 

“In my case they probably are.” Sasha muttered under his breath, snatching the lights and stomping over to the tree.

 

Five minutes later found Sasha once again tangled in lights, this time with the tree, now half-strung with lights, collapsed on top of him.

 

“Oh my gosh, darling! Are you alright?” Milla exclaimed, her eyes wide as she telekinetically moved the tree and placed it upright.

 

“Holy ****, Sasha! How did you do that!? You didn't even touch it!” Raz exclaimed as he and Lili helped the German to his feet and removed the lights.

 

“Language, Razputin.” Sasha groaned out, once again twitching. He took the lights from Lili, casting a glare filled with loathing at the gaudy bits of glass.

 

“Um...maybe I should...” Milla began.

 

“NO! I am not cursed!” Sasha snapped. “That stupid old woman! I am not cursed, there is no such thing as curses!” He trailed off, grumbling in German as he stomped up to the tree and continued his job.

 

Fortunately for Sasha, the next half an hour passed without incident, and at last he was able to get all the lights strung up.

 

“Alright, there. All done.” He said, stepping away from the tree. “Plug it in, Razputin!”

 

There was a shuffling sound and the tree gave a light shake. “...Um...”

 

Sasha's eyes narrowed. “What do you mean, 'um'?”

 

“It doesn't reach, Sasha!” Lili called out from behind the tree.

 

Sasha frowned. “So use an extension cord, then.”

 

“Um...we don't have any, darling.” Milla said, looking through the box.

 

“...We don't have any extension cords?” Sasha said slowly, turning to face her.

 

“No.”

 

“None?”

 

“None.”

 

Twenty minutes later Sasha came back to the main floor, several extension cords in hand and a cigarette clenched between his teeth. When his fellow psychics gave him odd looks, all Sasha said was “Plancon always blares that stereo of his far too loud to be good for his hearing anyway.” With that, he plugged the lights in.

 

Nothing happened.

 

“...Well...that was...completely and totally unspectacular.” Lili drawled.

 

“Er...maybe one of the bulbs is out?” Raz suggested meekly.

 

Sasha groaned, putting his face in his hands. “Why me?”

 

Three hundred bulbs and fifteen minutes later left the four psychics completely and totally baffled.

 

“They're all in perfect working condition.” Raz muttered.

 

“But...it doesn't make any sense!” Milla exclaimed. “I'm sure there's nothing wrong with the electric system, it should work!”

 

Lili sighed. “Here, I'll go try it again...” With that she plugged the lights in.

 

Every single bulb flickered to life, bathing the entire floor in a warm glow and bringing gasps of amazement from Raz and Milla.

 

“Oh, wow...” Milla gasped.

 

“Whoa.” Raz murmured, tugging on Lili's arm. “Isn't it pretty, Lili?”

 

“Whatever.” Lili muttered, causing Raz's face to fall.

 

“But...I don't get it...why didn't it work before?” Sasha sputtered, his eye twitching.

 

Raz shook his head. “I have no idea, Sasha. Maybe you are cursed.”

 

“Ach, who knows?” The German Psychonaut groaned, throwing his hands up in frustration. “At least it is finally done.”

 

“Oh, wow! It looks wonderful guys!” Tessie suddenly chirped from behind them.

 

“Gah!” Raz yelped. “How do you keep doing that!?”

 

Tessie ignored him again. “Man, these lights are amazing, Agent Nein! They're so full of Christmas Cheer™ ! Excellent job!”

 

Sasha let out a long breath. “Thank you, Agent--”

 

“They look great, but I'm sure you'll do much better for the lights display outside, right!?” Tessie continued, beaming.

 

Sasha's eyes widened. He twitched. The German Psychonaut looked from Tessie to the blinding lights on the tree and back again. “Oh, Gott...”

 

The lights glowed mockingly back at him.

 

---

 

To Be Continued...

[Digitaldreamer]

Whoo, getting this drabble done in time was a struggle. The past four days I already had something prepared, but I had to write this one on the spot last night. X_x Ugh. I'm gonna have to hurry and get ahead again, heaving deadlines hanging over my head every day is nerve-wrecking!

 

Also interesting to note that Sasha vs. The Lights ended up getting the least feedback so far, in spite of the fact that this was apparently something you all anticipated. Jeez, now I'm worried it wasn't funny...

 

Well, this is where all the drabbles start to split off into different plots with different characters and what not, so part two of Sasha vs. The Lights won't continue for a few days. Worry not though, Sasha's battle with the fabled lights is not yet over, oh no, not by a long shot.

 

For now, however, Raz gets to deal with the horrors of holiday baking.

 

Day Five: Of Christmas Cookies and Cards

 

Raz was stuck.

 

About half-an hour earlier, Tessie had shoved him into the agency kitchens with one, simple order: “Make Christmas cookies!”

 

Raz had spun around stare blankly at her. “But...can't we just buy some?”

 

“Oh, come on now little Razputin, there's no Christmas Cheer™ in buying cookies!” Tessie had replied. “Now get going, I already have everything set out for you! All you have to do is make them!” She said, gesturing to to the table, which was laden with ingredients.

 

“But...I don't know how to cook...” Raz said slowly.

 

“That's nice dear. Good luck, and remember, Christmas Cheer™ ~!” Tessie chirped before running off.

 

Thirty minutes had passed, and Raz had yet to do anything but stare at the ingredients in bewilderment. What the hell was he supposed to do!? He had never baked anything before! He was never the one who made the meals back at the circus, and besides, dragging around a stove hadn't been exactly practical. The kid didn't know how to boil water, let alone make cookies!

 

Finally the goggle-headed boy let out a sigh, walking over to the table. “I'll just have to try my best...here's a recipe...” He muttered, holding up an index card with various things scrawled upon it in bright pink ink. He glanced over things for a moment, brow furrowing. “Tbsp? What the hell is a tbsp? Is that some kind of bug? They put BUGS in cookies!?”

 

He then paused as he glanced over the cooking utensils, his gaze finally settling on a small plastic measuring spoon with the letters “tbsp” engraved in the handle.

 

“Oh...it's a spoon.” Raz let out a small laugh, picking up the utensil. “Bugs...geez, what was I thinking?” He muttered, rolling his eyes before looking back over the rest of the ingredients.

 

“Huh...y'know, maybe this won't be so bad.” He said to himself, setting the card down. “Yeah...I mean, geez, if I can become a Psychonaut at the age of ten, I can definitely bake cookies, right!?”

 

With that, he got to work.

 

Meanwhile, in Truman's office, Lili was taking a break from her “cheer-spreading duties” to help her father with their family Christmas Cards.

 

“Stupid Christmas Cards...” Lili grumbled as she licked another envelope and set it aside. No matter how envelopes she licked and set aside, the pile of cards and already addressed envelopes didn't seem to be getting any smaller. The fact that Tessie had forced her into a cute little green and red elf costume wasn't helping her mood any, either.

 

“Common courtesy as Head of the agency.” Truman explained without even looking up from his paperwork.

 

“Yes, but why do I have to do it!?” Lili snapped. “I'm your daughter, not your slave!”

 

Truman glanced up and beamed. “Why, because you're on the Holiday Committee, of course!”

 

“I don't even work here!” His daughter exclaimed. “Not to mention the Agent you put in charge of the thing is completely insane!”

 

Her father blinked. “Lili, you just described most of this agency.” He pointed out.

 

Lili rolled her eyes. “I mean Tessie, dad! She's completely nuts! Like, she never stops smiling! It's creepy! And she hasn't done anything to help! All she does is run around spreading 'Christmas Cheer™ '! You've gotta get rid of her dad, she's CRAZY!”

 

Truman blinked again. Then he laughed. “Oh, come on now Lili, stop complaining. I'm sure she's fine.”

 

“No, she's not! She's...gaaah!” Lili let out a hiss of frustration. “Nevermind. Not like you'd listen anyway...” She muttered, going back to the Christmas Cards. She held one of the Agency issue ones up, blinking. “Why are Sasha, Milla, and Raz all on this picture?”

 

“Eh, they're my most popular agents at the moment. True Psychic Tales and all that.” Her father said with a shrug.

 

“But...when did they pose for this picture?” Lili asked, squinting at it.

 

“They didn't. Photoshop works wonders.” Truman said simply.

 

“I...see...” Lili sighed, shoving the card into an envelope. “Why are we sending all these? I don't even know half these people!” She exclaimed as she glanced at the list.

 

Truman sighed. “Like I said, being the Grand Head of Psychonauts also comes with a bunch of Grand Pains. Now why don't you go put those in the mail or something?” He asked, now desperate for silence.

 

Lili didn't need to be told twice. She hopped up out of her seat and was out of her father's office faster than he could blink, cards trailing telekinetically behind her as she trudged down the hall. She was distracted from this task, however, when a great explosion suddenly came from further down the hallway, where the kitchens were.

 

“What the-- Raz!?” She sputtered, dropping the cards. She sped down the hallway and through the doorway, which was expelling smoke at an impressive rate. “Raz!?” She coughed out, waving away the smoke.

 

The kitchen was in a state of chaos. Uncooked, lumpy dough (or at least Lili thought it was dough...it seemed to be glowing as though it were radioactive) was slopped out of an overturned bowl, flour scattered all over the kitchen like snow. The microwave was opened and splattered with pink frosting, bits of it dripping out onto the floor. And there, at the center of it all stood Raz, covered in all of it and coughing. Floating before him was the charred remains of what might have once been a pan, a few black lumps of something now apparently permanently stuck to it.

 

“Huh?” Raz coughed out, blinking blearily through the smoke. “Oh, hey Lili.” He said, flashing a sheepish grin.

 

“Raz!” Lili sputtered, amber eyes widening. “What the hell did you do!?”

 

“I...was supposed to make cookies.” Raz explained as he coughed again. “Sorry...I think I burned them a bit.”

 

Lili stared at him for a moment. Then she groaned, covering her face with her hands. “Damnit...this is another one of those reasons why I hate this holiday...” She grumbled.

 

Raz's eyes widened. “Oh no! I'm sorry, I'll try again!”

 

“NO!” Lili screamed, rushing over to him and grabbing him by the arms. “YOU ARE NEVER TO COOK AGAIN! EVER!” She declared, giving him a rough shake.

 

Raz blinked at her.

 

Lili let out a long sigh. “I...I mean...no, it's okay Raz.” She muttered, shaking her head and patting his shoulder. “It's...it's...well, it's not fine, but Tessie shouldn't have stuck you with this job anyway.” She took the pan from him telekinetically and tossed it in the garbage, then turned back to Raz. “Look, don't worry about this. I'll clean it up, and then I'll call Milla or something. God knows she forces enough gingerbread into me every year as it is.” She said, rolling her eyes.

 

Raz blinked again. “But...”

 

The brunette scowled at him, then shoved him towards the door. “Come on, get moving. Just don't get used to me being nice or anything!” She snapped.

 

“But...” Raz whimpered as he stumbled towards the door, glancing back at her sour face. “...Best Christmas ever...”

 

Lili shook her head. “Look, you can worry about that later, okay? Just...just go do something else, alright?”

 

“So...no baking?” Raz asked slowly.

 

“No baking. Now go.” Lili said, pointing towards the door. Raz let out a long sigh and shuffled out, leaving the nearly destroyed kitchen behind him.

 

“Okay...so maybe baking Christmas Cookies isn't as easy as becoming a Psychonaut at the age of ten...”

 

---

 

To Be Continued...

[Digitaldreamer]

So, day six. Wow, that means we're almost a fourth of a way through this. Geez, how exciting...er, I think.

 

This drabble and two more later come from dear Darth Ave's suggestion that I do a parody of something from A Christmas Story, which, for those of you who don't know, is pretty much the greatest Christmas movie ever. For those of you who've seen the movie, this should be amusing. For those of you haven't, it might not seem too Christmassy, but I hope you enjoy it anyway.

 

Right, onward!

 

Day Six: Milla's Major Award, part One

 

“AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

 

Sasha, whom had been hiding in his office in a desperate attempt to avoid another go with the lights, suddenly jerked to his feet at the sound of the shrill cry. “Milla!” He exclaimed, eyes widening from behind his sunglasses. He immediately sprinted out the door, leaving his half-finished blog entry behind him.

 

“Milla!? What's wrong!?” The German Psychonaut exclaimed as he burst into his partner's office, glancing this way and that. Odd, everything in Milla's office seemed to be in order...just as bright and terribly tacky as always.

 

Milla herself spun around to face Sasha, her face one of giddy excitement. “Oh my gosh, Sasha!” With that she rushed across the room and flung her arms around the German man, hugging him so tightly a loud 'crack' was heard from his ribs.

 

“ACH!” Sasha choked out. “A-Agent Vodello...my spine...”

 

“I WON, SASHA! I WON!” Milla babbled in ecstatic gibberish, apparently so giddy that she didn't realize she was snapping her partner in two.

 

“Ah...that's...that's great Milla....now please let go of me.” Sasha said weakly.

 

Milla blinked. “Oh...right.” She finally released poor Sasha, laughing nervously. “Sorry about that, darling. But I won!”

 

“I gathered as much.” Sasha drawled in an exasperated manner, brushing himself off and popping his spine back into place. “But from what? And what, may I ask, did you win?”

 

“Oh...well...um...actually I'm not entirely sure...” Milla said, blinking in confusion as she glanced back at the package on her desk. “I think Agent Rhose entered me into some sort of contest at some point, she's such a sweet girl....but oh well! The point is I won!”

 

Sasha stared at the package, brow furrowing. “I...see...well, congratulations, Agent Vodello. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm...busy...” He decided not to mention that 'busy' meant 'blogging while trying to avoid that damn Tessie woman at all costs'.

 

Milla rolled her eyes. “Oh, come on Sasha, don't you want to see what my prize is!?”

 

“Not particularly.”

 

“Oh, don't be such a party pooper.” The Brazilian said as she picked up the package with telekinesis, along with a letter opener. “Come on, let's see!” With that, she tore open the box with a loud rip and pulled it open. “Hmmm, let's see here...” She murmured as she shifted through the box, oblivious to the faces Sasha made as some of the puffy plastic packaging was shoved out of the box and drifted to the floor.

 

“Aha!” Milla suddenly exclaimed. “Here it is!” With that, she tugged a tall, plaster something out of the box.

 

The moment Sasha got a good look at the thing, he cringed.

 

It was a lamp. Or at least it might have been. The base was shaped like...well, a woman's leg. A very shapely woman's leg at that, clad in a simple, tall, black high-heeled shoe and fish-net stockings. The lampshade was colored a soft, shimmering gold with black tassels, and was designed to look like the “woman's” skirt.

 

Upon the moment of the leg lamp's unveiling, Sasha cringed. “Oh Gott...” It was the ugliest thing he had ever laid eyes on, and he used to work in a carnival lamp factory. He knew ugly lamps.

 

“Oh wow!” Milla exclaimed, clapping her hands together. “It's so cute!”

 

“Cute!?” Sasha sputtered. “It's hideous!”

 

Milla pouted, reaching out to take the leg lamp and hug it to herself. “It is not! It's adorable!”

 

Sasha gaped at the thing in horror. “No it's not!”

 

“It is so!” The brunette put her her free hand on her hip as she cradled the lamp with the other. “You're just jealous because I won a Major Award and you didn't!” She declared with a grin.

 

“What Major Award!? You don't even remember the contest that you won!” Sasha exclaimed.

 

Milla shrugged. “So? I still won.”

 

Sasha scowled, folding his arms before him. “I think I'd much rather lose than win that hideous thing.”

 

“Oh, hush.” Milla drawled, waving her arm in an offhanded manner. “Anyway...where shall I put it?” She asked as she glanced around her office.

 

Sasha sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Hopefully somewhere far out of sight, where no one can see it and have their retinae burnt away.” He muttered.

 

“Aha! Here we go!” Milla exclaimed, removing her old, brightly colored lamp from the small filing cabinet she had set just below one of the windows that looked out into the hallway. She then placed the Leg Lamp in the former lamp's position. “Now everyone can see it!” She said brightly clapping her hands together.

 

Sasha's eyes widened in horror. “Ach...”

 

Milla pulled open her door and stepped into the hallways, beaming. “Sasha, would you be a dear and plug it in for me?”

 

Sasha looked from lamp to Milla and back again, face pale. “But...but...”

 

“Please, darling?” Milla pleaded, making the face.

 

Not even Sasha could resist that face. The German Psychonaut gave a groan of defeat, then used telekinesis to put the plug in the socket. Instantly the lamp sprung to life, a bright yellow glow coming from beneath the “skirt” and making Sasha cringe.

 

“Oh, wow! It's lovely!” Milla exclaimed, levitating into the air and clapping her hands. “And you can see it out here perfectly!”

 

As luck would have it, it was around then that Oleander came walking back, whistling an army tune as he lugged along a pile of papers. However, upon noting Milla levitating in the hallway he paused, brow furrowing. “Er...afternoon, Milla. What in the blazes are you doing?” He asked, oblivious to Sasha's expression of utter horror back in the Brazilian agent's office.

 

“Oh, hello Morry!” Milla cooed. “I'm just trying to see how my new lamp looks from outside my office, that's all.”

 

“New lamp?” Morry blinked, looking over to see the Leg Lamp gleaming in the window. He gave a low whistle. “Wow, that is a nice lamp.”

 

“I know, isn't it cute!?” Milla giggled. “It's my Major Award!”

 

“A Major Award? Well, congratulations, Milla!” Oleander said, offering a handshake which Milla had to stoop to accept. As she did this, just about every single agent on that floor had begun to poke their heads out of their offices to get a glimpse of what exactly was going on.

 

“Thank you, Morry.” Milla said with a small smile, then glanced around. “Did you see everyone? This is my major award!” She said, gesturing to the lamp.

 

That did it. Soon enough the entire floor was gathered around Milla's office, 'ooh-ing' and 'ahh-ing' at the lamp.

 

“Wow Milla, congratulations!”

 

“It really is a nice lamp, Miss Vodello.”

 

“Man, I wish I had entered...whatever it was that you entered.”

 

As the agents continued to chatter outside of Milla's office, inside Sasha could only observe in mute horror. With them all gathered around the doorway the poor German Psychonaut was trapped inside the room with the infernal lamp.

 

“Ah...excuse me, can I get through, please?” Sasha asked for what felt like the millionth time. None of the agents moved. It seemed the Leg Lamp had some sort of hypnotic effect on everyone but him.

 

After several more minutes of struggling Sasha let out a loud groan. “For the love of...it's a stupid tacky lamp, people! It's ugly as sin, why can't you see that!?” He exclaimed. “It doesn't even go with the color scheme of the room, I can tell and I'm colorblind! Just get rid of the thing already!”

 

“Man...that really is a nice lamp...”

 

Sasha sighed, putting his face in his hands. “Why me?”

 

It seemed the Leg Lamp was there to stay.

 

---

 

To Be Continued...

[Digitaldreamer]

Gah, I'm so sorry this is a bit late today, guys! I meant to update this morning like I always do, but my alarm didn't go off and I ended up waking up within minutes of my bus showing up. Sorry everyone! But it's here now...gah...yeah...

 

Right, so...not much else to say this chapter, I'm like, half asleep over here...maybe doing a fic that updates every day on top of such a crazy trimester during the holiday season of all times wasn't such a good idea...ah well, I'll pull through. As long as I'm making someone out there smile and enjoy the holidays a bit more, then that's what matters. Although, you know, if you could review so I know it's at least doing something, that'd be nice...

Right, on with the chapter!

 

Day Seven: Please Do Not Feed The Santa

 

The mall was always a chaotic place, with people bustling to and fro from various shop, arms laden with bags. During the Christmas season however, things were even crazier than usual. Shoppers went this way and that, glancing through lists and checking them twice much like Old St. Nick. Lights dangled from just about every feasible place that they could hang, reflecting off of fake snow that had been placed just about everywhere. A giant Christmas tree stood at the center of the mall, decorated so beautifully that it was truly a sight to behold.

 

“Wow...” Raz murmured, craning his head back to peer up at the lights. “I should so ask these guys for some tips for Sasha...”

 

But he couldn't now. Oh no, he had a mission.

 

Razputin was currently standing in a line. Not just any line, oh no, this was a special line, a line that weaved through rows and rows of tinsel line markers held up by giant, cheap plastic candy canes. At the very end of this line stood a great big, shimmering house that just screamed (in the words of Tessie) “Christmas Cheer™”...or it would have, had the cheesy sign on a great red and white pole next to it not read “North Pole”.

 

So far, Raz's attempts at making Lili's Christmas the Best Christmas Ever had been less than fruitful. One would think them both being stuck on the Holiday Committee would have made things better, but no, in fact that seemed to make things worse. With time ticking away and with fear that at any moment that pink-haired menace would hunt him down again, Raz was left with but one choice, to go to the source.

 

Razputin was going to go see Santa Clause.

 

Now, most people would probably claim that at the age of ten Raz was far too old. However, given the fact that he came from a circus, Raz had never actually had much of a chance to have a proper conversation with Santa on the big guys lap. He hadn't really felt like it this year anyway, not that he believed himself to be too old, but because he hadn't wanted anything.

 

Until now.

 

“Next! Hey, kid, you're up.”

 

Raz blinked in surprise, eyes wide. “Seriously? Wow...uh...alright...” He stepped up to the great big, Christmas-themed “throne” of sorts, where the great Kris Kringle himself sat. After a moment of hesitation Raz hopped onto Santa's lap, jade green eyes wide.

 

“Whoa...ah...hi there.” He said with a weak grin.

 

“Ho ho ho!” Said Santa. “And what do you want for Christmas, little boy?”

 

“Um...well...” Raz trailed off, scratching his head. “It's not really for me...see, my girlfriend, Lili, apparently she always gets really sad around this time of year. No, sad isn't right...she hates the holidays since her dad's always too busy with work and she doesn't really...well, have any friends. She's miserable, sir, and...I wanted to change that. I want to make this the Best Christmas Ever for her, and I've tried! But so far all I've done is mess up, and her dad went and assigned us both to Holiday Committee, so we're both so much more busy that usual...and it's just so hard. I'm not sure what to do...so I thought if I came here maybe you could help.” The goggle-headed boy let out a long sigh. “I guess what I'm trying to say is that all I want for Christmas is for her to be happy.”

 

Silence for a moment. Then, finally, Santa spoke. “Well, I don't think so.”

 

Raz's eyes widened. “What!? What do you mean you don't think so!?”

 

“You'll shoot your eye out, kid!”

 

“All I want is to make this the Best Christmas Ever for her and-- wait, WHAT!?” Raz sputtered. “What are you talking about!? What does me shooting my eye out have to do with anything!?” He squinted at Santa's face for a moment. Then, without warning, he reached out and snatched off the man's beard to reveal....

 

“DR. LOBOTO!?”

 

Sure enough, it was the deranged dentist who was sitting in Santa's chair, clad in the big red suit and all, a psychotic grin stretched across his face. “You'll shoot your eye out, you'll shoot your eye out~!” He cackled.

 

Raz leaped from Loboto's lap so fast he may as well have teleported. “What the!? What are you doing impersonating Santa Clause!? And...spitting off quotes, at that!”

 

Loboto stared blankly at him for a moment. Then he just beamed. “Be sure to drink your Ovaltine!”

 

The ten-year old Psychonaut stared at him for a moment. “You know what? Never mind. I don't want to know.” He muttered, covering his face with one hand. “Just...just...you're under arrest...” He muttered into his gloved palm as he tugged his badge from his coat-pocket and held it up. “Ugh, forget it, I don't want to deal with this...you just stay there while I call the agency to pick you up, okay?”

 

“Fra-gee-lay. Hm, must be Italian.”

 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Raz muttered, then glanced over at the Mall Security, all of whom had gathered and now just stood there, gaping at the mad scientist. “What!? Haven't you seen a ten-year old agent before!? Just get over here and grab him already!” The goggle-headed boy snapped. “Take him to your office and call the BPC, they'll know what to do.”

 

The security guards all looked baffled, but when Raz rolled his eyes and held up his badge they hurried to it, grabbing Loboto by his red-clothes arms.

 

“And a Partridge in a Pear Treeeeee....” Loboto cackled as he was lead away, giving very little resistance. Apparently that fall from Thorney Towers had managed to scramble what wits he had.

 

Raz let out a long sigh, running a hand through his hair. He then turned around to see all the kids who had been behind him in line standing there, staring. Raz blinked. “Um...hey guys...uh...” He laughed nervously.

 

“That goggle-headed kid got Santa arrested!” One kid shouted.

 

“No, no, I didn't get Santa arrested!” Raz exclaimed. “That was an imposter, guys! An imposter! Do you really think the real Santa would have blue skin!?”

 

The kids all fell into silence.

 

“Yeah, that's right. That Santa..um...sat upon a throne of lies and...ah...stuff....” Raz trailed off, swallowing nervously as he noticed the kids were all still glaring at him.

 

“So where's the REAL Santa!?” One little girl finally demanded. The rest all gave nods of agreement.

 

“Ummm...he's...still at the North Pole, of course!” Raz said with another small laugh, flashing a nervous grin. “He'll ah...be here soon...for now though, you should all go home...ahaha...yeah...”

 

Silence.

 

“Um...anyone wanna sing a...Christmas Carol?” Raz asked through clenched teeth.

 

“GET HIM!” A kid screamed. The other kids all gave similar battle cries and charged, a high-pitched, screaming mass of goose-down stuffed coats and squeaky rubber boots.

 

Raz's eyes widened in horror. Now, an army of censors and personal demons, he could handle. Psychic terrorists, he could handle. But this was just too much. Raz did what any sane person would do in his situation.

 

He turned and ran like Hell.

 

The kids chased Raz all through the mall and out the doors, where Raz finally threw caution to the wind and just when invisible before dashing away as fast as his legs could carry him.

 

He never did get that advice for Sasha.

 

---

 

To Be Continued...

[Digitaldreamer]

Whoa, this was close...I almost didn't get this drabble done in time. Fortunately, I managed. Ayiyiyiyi, I'm so stressed out...this weekend is going to be a busy one, since I'm really not ahead in these drabbles at all, not to mention CP and school work. Uweeh, the holidays are so busy! But as long as this is making someone smile, I'll pull through.

 

Onward!

 

Day Eight: Sasha vs. The Lights

 

Episode Two: A High-Wired Adventure

 

“Okay Sasha,” Tessie began. Both she and Sasha stood just outside the agency, piles and piles of boxes filled with lights set in front of them. “I have all your supplies right here. All you have to do is follow this diagram, and we'll have a display of lights that's sure to just pump everyone who sees it full of Christmas Cheer™ !”

 

Sasha looked from the diagram in his hands to the pile of boxes, paling. “Ah, Agent...” He trailed off, brow furrowing. Did this woman even have a last name? “...Ma'am, this is a secret government agency. Doesn't it seem a bit...ah, contradictory to be setting up such an attention-grabbing lights display?”

 

Tessie blinked at him, still beaming.

 

“...Never mind.” Sasha sighed. “I don't suppose it's possible to find...ah...someone else to do this?” He asked as he glanced back at the lights. Not that he believed in curses or anything, that was ridiculous! But even so, his last outing with the kaleidoscopic lights had been...less than pleasant.

 

Tessie shook her head, still beaming. “Sorry, Sasha, I'm afraid not!” She clapped him on the back. “I'm sure you'll do fine, you're just pumped full of Christmas Cheer™ , aren't you!?”

 

“Er...yes...Christmas Cheer.” Sasha said dully.

 

“ ™ .” Tessie added, winking before walking away. With her back turned, she didn't see the way Sasha shuddered in horror.

 

After a few moments of silence Sasha let out a long sigh, glancing over the diagram in his hands. The diagram was currently calling for lights strung along the windows of every story and some glowing elves and Frosty up front with a tree made of lights, not to mention Santa and his reindeer up on the roof. “This is not going to end well.” He muttered.

 

Oh how right he was.

 

The elves, for the most part, gave Sasha no trouble...though he could have sworn upon opening the box they had sprung forth to attack him, but fortunately for him no one had been around to observe his battle against the little light-up imps. Amazingly, Frosty was even less cooperative.

 

Somehow, Frosty managed to come in three hundred individual pieces.

 

Each piece also happened to be frozen together. Sasha stared blankly at the frozen block of ice that had come out of the box. “But...she said she bought this yesterday...” He sighed, then set to the slow, exhausting work of defrosting and separating each and every piece, grumbling under his breath in German all the while. Once this was done he actually had to assemble the thing, which ended up being a bit like The Tree, only not possessed.

 

Or at least he hoped it wasn't possessed. Sasha valued his brain a bit too much after the Loboto incident to use clairvoyance and check.

 

Once this task was complete, a good portion of the set-up, amazingly enough, occurred without incident. Okay, so maybe an entire strand of lights had just spontaneously combusted when he looked at them, and he had been forced to make a trek down to three department stores to actually get some extension cords (The first two had miraculously been out, even though they both claimed to have restocked a mere hour beforehand), not to mention the many times the little bulbs had tried to strangle the life from him (likely an act of vengeance for their scorched brethren). But really, other than all that he wasn't too bad.

 

Maybe he wasn't cursed after all.

 

Sasha was almost in fairly good spirits as he set up Santa and his reindeer up on the rooftop. Sure, it was annoying, but soon enough he'd be done and then he wouldn't have to deal with any of this stuff until he took them down in a few weeks!

 

Now if only these reindeer would stop being so stubborn and get assembled!

 

“I don't get it!” Sasha muttered as he tried desperately to wedge one of Blitzen's legs onto his body. “No matter what I do it doesn't fit...these holes are too small.” He let out a frustrated sigh, finally jamming the leg down onto the little deer's plastic body with a loud, slightly unhealthy sounding “crack!” The German held his breath as he removed his gloved hand, hoping the leg would stay. It did.

 

“Ah, thank Gott...” He muttered, running a hand through his hair. “Now all I have to do is hitch it to the sleigh and I can-- ACH!” Sasha yelped as his feet suddenly slipped out from under him on some snow. He tumbled backwards, landing with an “OOF!” mere inches from the edge of the roof.

 

Blitzen wasn't so lucky. The light-up reindeer tumbled several stories, until it at last hit the ground with a loud, splintering “CRUNCH!”

 

Sasha let out a groan as he lay there, nursing his aching skull. “That...did not sound good...” He muttered. After a few seconds he rolled onto his front so he could peer over the edge of the roof to survey the damage.

 

There, in the middle of the little display out front, lay Blitzen. Or rather, his remains. Pieces of the little plastic reindeer lay everywhere, legs twisted in malformed shapes like broken twigs, the entire of his body in two. Blitzen's severed head had replaced Frosty's top hat, and the way the elves were placed gave the entire thing the appearance that Frosty and the elves had just been the witnesses to Blitzen's traumatic suicide.

 

Sasha stared at the scene for a moment. Then he glanced back at Santa and his reindeer. “Ach, forget it.” He muttered, getting up and brushing the snow off of himself. “I do not have time for this.”

 

He really hoped no one noticed that Rudolph had apparently murdered Blitzen for his place in the line-up.

 

With the display complete at last, Sasha had but one thing to do: plug it in.

 

“Alright, let's see here...yes, yes, everything is set up right, meaning all I should have to do is plug it in...here...”

 

KKKKKKKKZAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPP!

 

There was a blinding blue flash that lit up the entire New York sky for a moment, causing many people to stop and stare. Years from now, people would tell amazing tales of what they thought had happened to cause such a flash, but they would never guess that it was really nothing more than a certain German Psychonaut being deep-fried.

 

“Hm? What was that?” Tessie wondered as she stepped out of the agency, licking at a candy cane. She then blinked as she found Sasha twitching and smoldering in the snow. “Huh? Sasha, are you alright?”

 

“No.”

 

“Glad to hear that~!” Tessie chirped, reaching out to pat Sasha on the head. She then turned to face the agency, her face lighting up about as brightly as the lights that covered the entire building. “Oh wow, Sasha, this is amazing!”

 

“Good. Because I am done, Agent...” Sasha trailed off as he brushed the snow off of himself, frowning. “What exactly is your last name?”

 

“It's so full of Christmas Cheer™!” Tessie continued as if she hadn't heard him. “Too bad you're going to have to redo it all!”

 

Silence.

 

“...What?” Sasha sputtered.

 

“Oh, you know, I just saw some Christmas lights displays around town, and I realized ours just isn't cheery enough. This is a problem. So I've come up with a whole new design, complete with one of those things that'll make it so the lights flash in time with music~!” Tessie chirped.

 

The German Psychonaut was too shocked to speak.

 

“I can tell you're excited! I'm sure you'll do great! Here's the plan!” Tessie dropped a packet of papers as thick as a text box into Sasha's hands. “Good luck~! And remember, Christmas Cheer™!” With that, she walked away.

 

Sasha nearly broke down and cried.

 

---

 

To Be Continued...

[BigBad]

These are amazing. The last one has been my favorite so far.

 

Would you mind if I did fanart for these?

[Digitaldreamer]

Fanart? Oooh, I do love fanart. I'd be honored if you did some, but don't feel oblidged. ^^;

[Digitaldreamer]

Whoo, day nine. Almost to the double digits now, how crazy is that? Miss Trippy was also nice enough to just review every chapter (thanks a whole lot, Trippy!) which, on top of a recent viewing of the Polar Express, has renewed my vigor for this fic. This means I'll probably spend the entire weekend just typing up these drabbles, that way I'll have a backlog of drabbles and won't be as stressed as I was this week.

 

Or at least I hope that'll be the case, at any rate.

 

While I'd like to do all this and CP as well, it's likely that's not going to happen. So for those of you who read CP, I'm sorry to say I probably won't be able to update this weekend. You can hope I'll get it together for sometime during the week, but that's probably not going to happen either, so expect a big chapter next week, okay? I'm really sorry, but the holiday season has just made me so darn busy, I simply don't have time and have to hold something off for a bit. It was either that or...well, not sleep, and that wouldn't result in a good chapter. I'm sure you'd all rather wait than suffer a crappy chapter right? Right.

 

Well...with that slightly unhappy news off my chest, I hope this chapter of Twenty-Five days cheers you up! Although I doubt my announcement should depress anyone that much, it's just CP, for cripes sake...right, onward!

 

Day Nine: Snow

 

All was oddly quiet in the Agency towards the end of the day. Though six o' clock was generally the time when most of the Psychonauts went home, today almost everyone had gone home early due to reports of bad weather. At the moment there were only a few agents bustling through the great building, making the normally chaotic place a bit eerie in it's silence.

 

'Tick' went the clock.

 

Raz stared at it with wide eyes.

 

'Tock'[/i] went the clock.

 

5:57, it read.

 

'Tick'

 

Raz twitched.

 

'Tock'

 

The minute hand moved.

 

5:58

 

“Yes! Two more minutes!” Raz hissed under his breath.

 

“Razputin, please, focus!” Milla admonished.

 

“Sorry.” Raz muttered apologetically, flushing and returning to his work. He, Lili, Sasha and Milla were all gathered in front of the tree, rolls of wrapping paper, ribbons, scissors and tape spread around them all. There was also a pile of plain white boxes, which didn't seem to be getting any smaller.

 

Lili let out a hiss of frustration as she twirled a ribbon around her pair of scissors half-heartedly. “Why are we doing this again?” She grumbled.

 

“Miss Zanotto does have a point...all of these boxes are empty.” Sasha muttered as he applied some tape.

 

“Oh, but they just load this place with 'Christmas Cheer™ ', don't they?” Raz declared, doing a perfect imitation of Tessie's high-pitched, squeaky voice and rolling his eyes.

 

“Come now darlings, cheer up. At least it's....festive?” Milla suggested, though her smile seemed rather fake.

 

“Whatever.” Raz muttered. “At this point, I don't really care, all I care about is that it's nearly six and I'm almost out of here!” He declared as he wrapped a box a bit too forcefully.

 

“It is?” Sasha blinked, glancing at the clock. “Oh, so it is. My, how time flies when you're...wrapping empty boxes.”

 

Lili, meanwhile, was counting under her breath. “Six...five...four...two...”

 

“You missed three, darling.” Milla interjected helpfully.

 

“SIX O' CLOCK!” Lili cried out, jumping to her feet. “Finally! I don't see why I have to work by these stupid hours, why doesn't anyone get that I don't work here!?” She muttered, flipping her hair over her shoulder.

 

“Oh, but does it really matter if you're spreading Christmas Cheer™ ?” Tessie piped up.

 

“GAH!” Raz screamed. “How are you doing that!?”

 

“Doing what?”

 

“Just...just...appearing like that!”

 

Tessie stared blankly at him for a moment. “...Exactly!” She finally chirped, turning back to everyone. “What are you all doing?”

 

“Agent...ah, darling, it's six o' clock.” Milla said with a tired smile as she got up and began to telekinetically put everything away. “I'm afraid it's time for us all to go home, we'll have to finish tomorrow.”

 

“Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.” Tessie said, her face falling as if she were genuinely sad. “Good thing Christmas Cheer™ doesn't abide to those kind of silly rules!” She continued, beaming.

 

The four psychics all gaped at her. “...What?”

 

“Oh, you heard me~! Since you aren't done, you can just stay here and work until you finish!” Tessie said. “No big deal, right? After all, you're spreading Christmas Cheer™ !”

 

Silence.

 

“But...but...I'm supposed to call my dad!” Raz sputtered.

 

“I have homework!” Lili cried out.

 

“I have to...ah...feed Maxwell!” Sasha struggled for an excuse.

 

“Oh, nonsense, Christmas Cheer™ is much more important!” Tessie said with a smile. “Don't worry, it shouldn't take you that long...only a few more hours!” With that, she made her way towards the door.

 

“But...aren't you going to help, darling?” Milla asked weakly.

 

Tessie turned them and blinked, apparently surprised. “Oh no, of course not! I have far too much Christmas Cheer™ to spread!” She chirped.

 

“But...you were doing that earlier!” Raz sputtered.

 

“Exactly! See you tomorrow, have fun!” With that, she was gone.

 

All was silent for a for moments. Then Lili let out a low growl and threw her roll of wrapping paper to the ground,the innocuous, shimmering roll crumpling on impact.

 

“Darling!” Milla exclaimed.

 

“I'm taking a break!” Lili snapped, stomping across the floor and over to the elevators. The moment she came up to them the doors opened and she stepped inside, turning only to glare dangerously at Raz, Sasha, and Milla. “Don't follow me.” She warned through clenched teeth.

 

With that, the doors closed and she was gone.

 

“...Crap.” Raz immediately threw down his roll of paper and jogged after her. Sasha and Milla didn't stop him.

 

Raz didn't catch up with his girlfriend until he finally made it outside the building. It was there that he found her, huddled up in the cold, arms wrapped around herself as she shivered, teeth chattering. She had elected to leave her coat inside headquarters, which may not have been the brightest of ideas.

 

The goggle-headed boy watched her for a moment, then came up behind her, arms shoved in his coat pockets. “Hey.” He said softly, his breath coming out in a warm puff.

 

Lili glanced over her shoulder at him, amber eyes narrowed. “I thought I told you not to follow me.” She muttered. Raz just shrugged and cracked a small grin, causing the brunette to roll her eyes and look away. “Dorkface.” All was silent for a few moments, and then Lili was talking again. “I hate this stupid holiday.”

 

“Why?” Raz asked.

 

“I just...I just do, alright?” She snapped. However, after a few seconds her face softened and she looked away again.

 

“Oh, come on now. You know you don't mean that.” Raz said, still smiling and shaking his head. “You hate the bad stuff that you associate it with...but that doesn't mean you hate the holiday itself, do you?”

 

Lili snorted. “No, I <i>do</i> hate it. The whole thing.”

 

“Come on, I'm sure you've got one or two good memories in there somewhere...don't you?” Raz asked gently.

 

Silence.

 

Lili shivered, hugging her arms closer to herself. “..I...no, I don't.” She muttered, though Raz could tell she was lying.

 

Silence.

 

“Are you cold?”

 

The brunette scowled. “No, I am not cold!” She snapped. Her annoyance turned to surprise, however, as she quite suddenly found Raz's jacket draped over her shoulders. She blinked as Raz's smiling face came into view.

 

“You know, it's pretty hard to lie to a telepath.” He said with a cheeky grin.

 

Lili stared at him for a moment, then blushed and looked away. “...Stupid.” Raz let out a soft laugh and pulled her into a hug, saying nothing.

 

They stayed like that for a few moments, simply warm in each others embrace. However, after a few seconds Raz pulled away, blinking in confusion as something cold landed on his head. “What the...” He muttered, brow furrowing as he glanced up at the sky. Lili's gaze followed and she let out a small gasp.

 

“...Snow.”

 

The soft white flakes were leisurely drifting down to earth, glittering in the city lights. It all floated along with the breeze, like flocks of tiny, minuscule little white doves, their pure white feathers gathering up the ground to hide away all the dirt and grime that made up the streets of New York city.

 

Raz's face was one of wonder as he gazed up at the snow, jade green eyes wide. “Wow...the first snow...isn't it great, Lili?” He murmured, glancing over at the brunette.

 

Lili stared up at the snow for a moment. Then a small, tiny smile came to her face as she hugged Raz's arm for warmth. “Maybe...yeah...okay...it's beautiful.” She whispered quietly.

 

They stood in silence for a moment, just watching the snow fall.

 

“...This doesn't change anything, though. I still hate Christmas.” Lili suddenly said.

 

Raz just laughed.

 

---

 

To Be Continued...

[BigBad]

Aww...that last part between Lili and Raz was so sweet. *sniffs* *blubbers* I want somebody to cuddle with in the first snow of the winter. *wails*

[Digitaldreamer]

Trelalalala...have absolutely nothing to say, other than thank you all who reviewed on FF.net so much for all the reviews last chapter. Because of you all this fic has already nearly hit fifty! So thanks a lot!

 

Right...onward!

Day Ten: The Invitation

 

Drywell, Missouri was an average sort of place. It was too big to be a town, but too small to be a city,with worn down shops and apartment complexes spanning across the horizon. It had its middle-class areas, but for the most part the entire place had a run down, broken sort of feel to it. However, even with all that, to many it was home.

 

It was through one of the slightly more run-down neighborhoods that a young boy was currently running, nearly slipping on the ice and snow that covered the sidewalks, his arms flailing out wildly, eyes wide with terror. Chasing mere steps behind him was a group of burly looking ten-year old boys. Some had various scrapes and bruises, some had rips and tears in their clothes, but they all looked tough. And who was at the front of this little gang?

 

None other than Bobby Zilch.

 

“Come on, get him boys!” The red-haired boy cackled.

 

The others all gave snorts and guffaws of agreement. They were all strong in their own right, but they all gladly followed Bobby. Though actually they were sure some of them were actually stronger, it seemed whenever anyone argued they suddenly found themselves lifted in the air by an invisible fist. They weren't entirely sure how their leader had done this, but they were a bit too afraid to ask. Thus, they all followed Bobby's orders without argument.

 

Hey, as long as they got to knock some teeth out, they were good.

 

The boy they were chasing let out a cry of terror. “L-leave me alone!” He stuttered out. “I haven't done anything!”

 

“You can't escape your weekly beating, Timmy, you should know better by now!” One of his pursuers sneered.

 

“Yeah, that's right! Now come on, I think it's time you and my fist got reacquainted!” Bobby said, reaching out a hand to telekinetically pull the boy over.

 

Unfortunately for him, he was so busy focusing on this that he didn't realize where he was going, and the afro-haired boy found himself running smack into his own family's mailbox.

 

CLANG! Went the mailbox.

 

PLOP! Went Bobby as he fell back into the snow.

 

“Boss!” Exclaimed his gang, skidding to a stop and gathering around him. Timmy paused for a moment as well, apparently concerned.

 

“Boss? Are you okay?” One boy asked.

 

Bobby let out a groan.

 

“Ooohh, you're gonna get it now, Timmy!” Another boy exclaimed, turning and glaring at the thing, pale boy. Timmy let out a squeak of terror and turned to run, several of the boys chasing after him. The other gang members set to helping their leader up, brushing the snow off of him.

 

“Are you okay, man?”

 

Bobby let out a groan, then elbowed the one who brushing him off in the ribs. “I'm fine!” He snapped, then paused, glancing at the ground.

 

There, laying in the snow, was a letter. Not just any lettered, it had the words “To The Parents of Bobby Zilch” printed on the front, along with the insignia for a certain secret government organization.

 

Bobby's brow furrowed and he knelt down, picking up the letter. He then tore it open and pulled out a folded piece of paper, eyes narrowing as he began to read it.

 

“To The Parent(s)/Gaurdian(s)of Bobby Zilch,

 

Seasons greetings from Psychonauts HQ! We hope that you and your son are doing well. As a PsyCadet, we also hope that he has been practicing his powers, as practice does make perfect after all.

 

This letter is to inform you that your son has been cordially invited to the Headquarters of our Agency in New York City to spend the holidays. We hope that this will be an opportunity for fellowship and fun, as well as a chance for them to meet the agents that they may join the ranks of in the coming years. This will also be a chance for him to reunite with any friends he has met over the summer.

 

We hope to see you there!

 

Warm Regards,

 

Tessie”

 

The afro-haired boys brow furrowed. “Tessie?” He muttered. “Who the Hell is Tessie? What a stupid name.”

 

However, the strange name aside...this was interesting. He hadn't seen anyone from camp since that summer...he couldn't help but wonder how Benny was doing. Not to mention it would be a chance to sock that goggle-headed dork a good one.

 

And then there was Chloe, the only one from camp who wrote him...well, aside from those two cheerleader dorks, but he always made a point of burning those. But even so, the space cadet always wrote him, asking how he was doing, if he had listened to her at all, and talking about how her experiments were going. He never wrote back...but she kept sending them anyway.

 

She probably wouldn't have been too happy if she knew what he was up to.

 

“Hey, Bobby!” His gang members broke him out of his thoughts, causing Bobby to blink and look up to see that they had finally caught up with Timmy and now held him between them. The pale boy himself looked positively terrified, shaking in his snow gear.

 

“We got him, Bobby!” One boy crowed.

 

“Come on, lay it on him for hurting you!” Another cried out.

 

“Yeah, do it!”

 

Bobby glared at Timmy for a moment. Then, without warning, he socked the one holding the boy in the face.

 

“Gah!” The gang member released Timmy immediately, clutching at his bleeding nose. The other gangmembers let go in surprise, causing to fall to the ground. The pale-faced boy gaped up at Bobby in confusion, cringing as the blue-skinned boy scowled at him.

 

Bobby stared at him for a moment. Then he knelt down, grabbed Timmy by the front of his shirt and hauled him to his feet. He then spun the boy around and shoved him away. “You better be glad that it's Christmas, dorkface.” He sneered out.

 

Timmy stumbled forward a few feet, then glanced back at Bobby, blinking in confusion. Bobby scowled. “Go on, get!” He snapped. “Don't think this is me bein' nice or anything, I just got better things to do! I'll get you double next time!”

 

The pale-faced boy blinked again. Then his face lit into a small smile and he turned, running down the sidewalk towards his house.

 

Bobby's gang members all stared in confusion, baffled. They then all looked to Bobby, faces shocked. “What the hell, Bobby? Why'd you let him go!?” One demanded.

 

Bobby scowled, turning and shoving his hands into his pockets. “I already told you jocks, I got better things to do.” He said simply, shrugging his shoulders.

 

“But...but...you never--”

 

The afro-haired boy turned to glare at his little gang. “What was that, snotface? Would you rather I gave you his beating instead?”

 

The gang members all gulped, shaking their heads in unison.

 

“Good. Now get outta here. Find something else to do until New Years.” Bobby said as he headed towards his small, run-down house.

 

Silence for a few moments.

 

“What? Why?”

 

Bobby's eyes narrowed. He then spun around, slamming his fist into the face of the one who had spoken, eliciting a yelp of pain and a loud 'CRACK'' before the boy tumbled to the ground. Bobby stood over him, panting, then turned to the rest of his gang. “Any other questions!?”

 

The boys all shook their heads.

 

“Good.” With that, Bobby stomped up the rickety steps of his house and slammed the door behind him.

 

He had packing to do.

 

---

 

To Be Continued...

[DarthAve]

Can Tessie commit suicide on Christmas? Chicka's srsly getting annoying. She's pretty much a Christmas Nazi.

 

"CHRISTMAS CHEER™!!!"

"...but I'm jewish."

"THAN YOU WILL BE KILLED!" ~flamethrower'z~

 

That would be awesome if at the party thing, Elton or somthing showed up and said "I CONVERTED TO JUDISIM!" and Tessie had a meltdown.

 

"But...people are supposed ot celebrate CHRISTMAS!!!!"

[Digitaldreamer]

Oh don't you worry, Tessie will be getting hers...very, very soon. *cackles evilly and rubs hands together*

[DarthAve]

Oh I just got the jitters. Now I'm twitching, nice.

[DylanMay]

That would be awesome if at the party thing, Elton or somthing showed up and said "I CONVERTED TO JUDISIM!" and Tessie had a meltdown.

 

"But...people are supposed ot celebrate CHRISTMAS!!!!"

 

OH MY GOD! This is the funniest idea ever! You should totally do it! And I guess you could at least sort of explain Hannukah here, too. Personally I don't think you should force yourself to write about other religions just for "diversity's sake," but still, you could do this pretty well here without ramming it down our throats.

 

(By the way... I know this topic is dead now, but I don't hate CP and never did. If anything, I'm ragingly jealous. This one time, I posted a 400-page story on FF.net and got like a total of twenty reviews, because I didn't put any plugs for it on forums, and I didn't post it chapter-by-chapter like you're doing. And that makes me bitter. But for real, CP is really, really well-written so props for you.)

[Digitaldreamer]

And so it begins...week two. Well, technically it began yesterday, but whatever.

 

So I really did manage to use this weekend to get ahead, isn't that great? I'm not as ahead as I wanted, but still, I feel accomplished.

 

Right...onward!

 

Day Eleven: Milla's Major Award, Part Two

 

It was just a regular day in the agency. Agents shuffled this way and that, carrying case files and mumbling about how they wouldn't have it all done by next Christmas, coffee inhaled by the gallons as they tried to keep themselves awake in the holiday crunch.

 

And then It happened.

 

Milla was just leisurely making her way through the halls, humming jollily to herself. Then, quite suddenly a loud crash was heard, coming from her office. The Brazilian's eyes widened and she ran the rest of the way to her office.

 

Nothing could have prepared her for the sight she saw.

 

There stood Sasha, a stack of case files in hand, his expression impossible to distinguish due to sunglasses. And there, laying at his feet like some sort of unfortunate murder victim, lay the pieces of what had once been her major award.

 

“My lamp!” Milla cried out, rushing over and dropping to her knees next to its forlorn remains. “It's...it's...”

 

“Oh my...I'm sorry, Milla.” Sasha said. “I was...coming in here to deliver these papers for you and I...ah...accidentally brushed against your lamp. I tried to save it, but it broke.”

 

Now Milla had had a very, very hard day, working at decorating the interior of the agency under Tessie's constant, nitpicky ways. Therefore, the Brazilian was quite tired and was running on a very, very short fuse. This was the last straw. She stared at the remains for a moment, nearly in tears. “My major award...”

 

Sasha let out a long sigh and patted her shoulder consolingly. “Ah well...it didn't really match your...er...'color scheme' anyway.” He said in an attempt to be comforting, though he was unable to keep a small note of triumph out of his face.

 

Milla glanced up at him, eyes widening. “You murderer...”

 

Sasha blinked in confusion. “What?”

 

“You broke my lamp!” Milla cried out, then looked back to the remains. “Oh, and it was such a lovely lamp too...”

 

“I already told you it was an accident.” Sasha said.

 

Milla shook her head. “Oh, come on now Sasha, don't lie! You know you knocked it over on purpose.”

 

“What!?” Sasha sputtered.

 

“You heard me!” Milla let out a harsh laugh. “I mean, I knew you were jealous of this lamp--”

 

“Jealous!?” Sasha repeated. “Jealous of a plastic...”

 

“Jealous!” Milla cut him off. “That's right Sasha, you were jealous! Jealous because I WON!”

 

“But...but...” Sasha sputtered. “You don't even know what you won it from!”

 

“Yes, but I still won!” Milla said. “And then you went and broke my Major Award!”

 

Sasha scoffed. “Major Award!? It's a lamp, Milla! An ugly lamp at that!”

 

Milla gasped, looking scandalized. She let out a few exclamations of anger as she got to her feet, apparently unable to come up with any words. After glaring eye to eye with Sasha for a few moments she managed to grind out “Get my glue.”

 

“We're out.” Sasha said simply.

 

“Out!?” Milla gasped. Her eyes widened for a moment, then narrowed. “You used up all the glue on purpose, didn't you!?”

 

“What!?” Sasha sputtered. “That's ridiculous! Why would I do something like that!?”

 

“Why don't you tell me, murderer!?” Milla snapped, beginning to levitate out of anger, her eyes flashing like some sort of angry harpy.

 

Sasha's eyes widened a bit as he backed away. Milla rarely got angry, but when she did it was not a good idea to be close to her. His sunglasses would not serve as any sort of protection when she tried to pluck out his eyes. “Ah...calm down, Milla. H-how about I just...ah...gather this up and go buy some blue? I'll...ach...have it fixed in no time.” In all honesty he doubted the lamp could be salvaged, and even then he'd rather it wouldn't be, but he liked his eyes in his sockets more than he disliked that lamp.

 

“DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH IT!” Milla shrieked, causing Sasha to stumble back with wide eyes. She panted a moment, then continued. “I will get the glue and I will fix it. Don't you lay a finger on it!” With that, she turned and stomped towards the door.

 

At the sound of the argument, most of the occupants of the hallway had gathered around Milla's office to watch. However, as soon as she came towards them they backed away, quivering in fear. Fortunately for them, however, Milla paused at the door, turning to glare at Sasha as she tried to come up with a real crusher. All she got out was...

 

“NOT A FINGER!”

 

With that, she was gone.

 

Milla spent the rest of the day trying to put the lamp back together. After awhile, however, it became clear that the leg lamp was beyond saving. Trying to retain as much dignity as she could, the Mental Minx gathered up the sad, shattered remains of her Major Award. Later that day, she and the rest of the occupants of that hallway buried it out under one of the little decorative trees in the parking lot. The rest of the agents could never be sure, but many swore they could hear the sound of “Taps” being played. Gently.

 

“Leggie” The Lamp

 

December 6th, 2006- December 11th, 2006

 

R.I.P.

---

 

To Be Continued...

 

(( Oh, thanks DylanMay. ^^;; You have no idea how much that relieves me, I was worried you like, hated my guts for that and because SaS was so much like your other fic. XDD Ah man, that's a relief. Thank you for telling me that.))

[Digitaldreamer]

Another day, another drabble. This one's actually one of my favorites, it even amused my beta reader, and she's nearly impossible to amuse. Oh! We also finally hit fifty reviews! Thanks a lot for all your kind words they mean a lot to me. As long as I know you guys are enjoying this, it's good enough a reason to keep going.

 

Right so...I hope you all enjoy this chapter.

 

Day Twelve: The Shopping Trip of Horrible Doom

 

And so it came to pass that December was flying by like El Odio in the streets of Blackvelvetopia, and Christmas shopping needed to get done. Thus, Raz, Lili, Sasha and Milla chose a Saturday to head to the mall, each with but one thing in mind: “Oh God I need to get people stuff out of social obligation, ahhh!”

 

Although, you know, there may have actually been the thought of friendly gestures and that thing some people call “love” too, but I digress.

 

The moment the four psychics arrived at the mall, they split up. Milla and Lili went one way, while Sasha and Raz went the other.

 

“So...secret santas?” Raz said as he walked, holding a crumpled piece of paper before him.

 

“It was that woman's idea. Not mine.” Sasha muttered as he lit a cigarette.

 

Raz blinked. “Seriously? Wow...she's actually capable of a semi not-bad idea?”

 

“Don't say that, Razputin.” Sasha hissed out of the corner of his mouth. “She may be watching.”

 

The goggle-headed boy winced. “Oh yeah...right.” He muttered, glancing warily over his shoulder. “It's like 'Big Brother', but creepier.”

 

“If she had some sort of secret police everywhere, I would not be surprised.” Sasha mumbled.

 

Raz nodded. “Yeah....well, even so, this isn't so bad. I got Lili...who did you get?” He asked as he glanced over his slip of paper again.

 

“Agent Shive.” Sasha said simply. “Though I need to find something for Milla as well...”

 

Raz quirked a brow at this. “She still mad over the 'Lamp' incident?” He asked, quirking a small grin.

 

“You have no idea.” The German Psychonaut muttered darkly, shoving his hands into his pockets.

 

“Well, at least finding something for her should be easy enough, right? I mean, you've been partners for like, ever.” Raz said, glancing up at his companion.

 

“Fifteen years.” Sasha said. “Not that that seems to help when it comes to that lamp...”

 

“Right. You should know her well enough, finding something for her should be easy.” Raz said with a shrug. “Lili on the other hand...man, that's gonna be tough. I mean...what does she even like? I know she likes flowers...and cute things...and that's about it.”

 

“Perhaps some jewelery?” Sasha suggested dully. “Although what would actually be in your price range, she probably wouldn't like...”

 

Raz groaned. “This is gonna be tougher than I thought...” He muttered, running a hand through his hair.

 

Sasha sighed. “Ach, women.” He muttered, shaking his head.

 

“Amen to that.” Raz agreed.

 

The two walked along for a moment before Sasha slowed down, frowning. “Hm...perhaps I will take a look in here.” He said as he glanced over the displays for a certain shop.

 

“Oooh, cool!” Raz said, eyes wide. “That stuff is...” He then trailed off, face falling. “The kind of stuff I would like, not Lili.”

 

Sasha patted him lightly on the shoulder. “Are you coming with me, or would you prefer to stay here?”

 

“I'll stay here.” Raz sighed. Sasha nodded, then walked off. The goggle-headed boy watched Sasha leave, then sat down on a bench, putting his face in his hands. “Jeez...this really is harder than I thought...”

 

Meanwhile, Lili and Milla were making their way through various stores, glancing over this and that.

 

“Hmmm, what do you think, dear?” Milla asked, holding up a pair of sunglasses.

 

Lili rolled her eyes. “It looks exactly like his usual pair, Milla.”

 

“Really?” Milla frowned, glancing over the sunglasses. “I could have sworn the lenses were at least a different shade...”

 

“No, it's the same.” Lili sighed.

 

Milla cocked her head to the side as she glanced over the sunglasses. “Huh.” She then placed them back on the rack, shaking her head. “Ah well, I'll find something eventually, Sasha's hard to buy for but not impossible. What about you, dear?”

 

“Me?” Lili asked, glancing up from where she had been observing a snowglobe in a bored fashion.

 

“Well, aren't you getting Razputin anything?” The woman asked, putting her hands on her hips.

 

“Oh...yeah...not like I have a choice, I got him for the secret santa thing.” Lili grumbled, folding her arms. “I don't see the point, no one ever actually uses a Christmas present. They just get it, smile politely and say thanks, then shove it under the bed and forget about it.”

 

Milla frowned. “Oh, come on now darling, that's not true. Well, okay, it may be with some gifts, but when you get a real gift that comes from the heart--”

 

“Save it.” Lili muttered, rolling her eyes. “I get enough from all the damn TV specials.”

 

The Brazilian Psychonaut let out a long sigh. “Lili, darling, I know after--”

 

“Oh my God!” Lili suddenly cut her off, eyes widening.

 

Milla blinked in confusion. “Sweetie, I was just--”

 

“No, look!” Lili pointed to the back of the store, where a great display had been set depicting several cardboard cutouts of the more famous agents from True Psychic Tales. And there, set within it, was a shining, perfect, first edition copy of Issue #25. “Oh my God...Issue 25...you can't get that ANYWHERE, not even on Ebay!” The brunette stuttered. “And it's autographed! And...ON SALE!”

 

“Oh my...” Milla murmured, her hand going to her mouth.

 

Lili gaped at it in shock for a moment. Then she shut it. “It's perfect!”

 

Milla frowned. “I'm not sure...it's rather...expensive...”

 

“Milla, I'm the daughter of the Grand Head of the Psychonauts.”

 

“True enough.”

 

Lili nodded. “Right, I'm going to--” She was then cut off as a middle-aged, rather hefty woman shuffled past, making a beeline for the display.

 

Lili's eyes narrowed and she scowled, catching up with the woman in several strides. She wasn't going to let this old hag steal Raz's present!

 

The woman glanced at Lili, and her eyes narrowed as she began to pick up her pace. Lili’s eyes narrowed as well and she began to pick up her pace. The woman responded by going even faster, so Lili ended up going even faster than that by breaking into a jog. Upon seeing this, the woman broke into a run, Lili following suit.

 

The two raced down the aisle, knocking aside last minute shoppers and nearly breaking a few displays, both going as fast as they could.

 

Lili was pulling ahead, she reached for the comic…

 

And the woman suddenly shoved her away. Lili let out a cry, kicking out her leg and knocking away her opponent. Both the brunette and the lady slammed into the wall, causing the comic to shake in the display.

 

Lili growled, getting to her feet and glaring at the lady, whom was rising as well. The two glared at each other for a minute, neither moving. Finally Lili reached for the comic, as did the lady, each grabbing one corner of the sleeve.

 

“I saw it first.” Lili snarled, fixing a glare upon the woman that was known to cause trained government agents to pee their pants.

 

The woman simply sneered back. “No, I believe I did. You can’t have it, little girl, this is for my son.”

 

“Yeah, well it’s for my boyfriend.”

 

“Too bad, you can’t have it.”

 

“It’s mine! I got here first”

 

“No, it’s mine!”

 

The woman scowled, tugging on the comic. Lili let out a growl and tugged back.

 

“Give it!”

 

“Sorry little girl, but I'm afraid I can't do that!”

 

“Then you leave me no choice...”

 

Raz and Sasha were now once again wandering through the mall, Sasha with one or two bags and Raz carrying one as well. “Darnit.” The ten-year old muttered. “I've found everything but something for Lili...”

 

“Ah, don't worry.” Sasha said, attempting to be comforting. “If all else fails, you can give Miss Zanotto a gift card!”

 

Raz snorted. “I think I'd rather spare myself the pain of having her shove it into my eye socket.” He said.

 

Sasha chuckled shaking his head. “Again, do not worry. I'm sure you...” He then trailed off, brow furrowing. “Why is there a crowd gathered around that shop?”

 

“Huh?” Raz blinking, frowning. “Good question...think we should check it out?”

 

“Of course.”

 

With that, the two Psychonauts made their way into the crowd.

 

“FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!”

 

“Damn, she must really want that thing!”

 

“Who do you think is going to win?”

 

“My bet's on the little girl.”

 

“I dunno man, that lady looks pretty tough with her purse.”

 

“Hey, is her hair smoking?”

 

“Ah, excuse me?” Sasha asked, tapping one man on the shoulder. “Can you tell us what is going on here?”

 

“Huh?” The man blinked, then shrugged and jerked a thumb towards the store. “Oh, that? Some little girl went psycho and attacked some lady over some gift. Guess it's rare or something.”

 

It was then that a blur of pink suddenly rushed through the parted crowd, cackling something along the lines of “IT'S MINE, DAMNIT!” The blur was followed by a screaming middle-aged woman, whom the cashier was restraining as she tried to explain that the other girl had paid for the gift.

 

Both Raz and Sasha blinked, then glanced at each other.

 

“Was that...”

 

“...Lili?”

 

Silence for a few moments. Then both chuckled and shook their heads. “Nah, that's dumb.” Raz said, running a hand through his hair. “Jeez, who'd be crazy enough to fight someone over a Christmas present?”

 

“'Tis the season.” Sasha said with a small chuckle.

 

Raz snorted. “Right. Come on, we've still got time before we meet up with the girls, let's keep looking.”

 

“Agreed.”

 

With that, the two continued their way through the mall.

 

---

 

To Be Continued...