NiKo Posted June 25, 2001 Share Posted June 25, 2001 1.When it seems that you've killed the monster, never check to see if it's really dead. 2.If you find that your house is built upon or near a cemetery, was once a church used for black masses, had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion or who performed necrophilia or satanic practices, move away immediately. 3.Do not search the basement, especially when the power has just gone out. 4.If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they do not know, or if they speak using a voice other than their own, shoot them at once. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. Note: it's unlikely they'll die easy, so be prepared. 5.When you have the benefit of numbers, never go alone 6.If you're searching for something which caused a noise and find out that it's just the cat, leave the room immediately if you value your life. 7.If you're running from the monster, you will most likely trip or fall. If you are female you will. 8.Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (God help you if you recognize this one), the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine, especially if it is called Derry. 9.If your car runs out of gas at night, do not go to the nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help. 10.hen something bad is chasing you, bear in mind that when you try to start your car, no matter how reliable the vehicle is normally, you'll have to crank the engine over many times before it will fire up 11.People arriving to rescue you generally get ambushed by the monster, so don't rely on them as your only means of escape. In fact, expect to be surprised and delayed by encountering their flayed corpse at some point. 12.Do not call the police as they are either evil and will turn you in or will not believe you and laugh at you. Either way, you must handle the problem yourself. 13.If you are using a gun to combat the all-comsuming evil, it is a good idea to quickly find a new means of defense, because no matter how much ammo you have, you'll run out just before you kill the monster (unless your name is Ash, in which case, you'll never have to reload). 14.If you have defeated the monster, pay close attention to the camera, if it pans away for no apparent reason at all, get the heck out of there. 15.Skeptics are always proved wrong in some horrible, nasty, painful way. Be a believer. 16.If you are a child, don't panic! Monsters only attack overly horny teenagers. Children can NOT be killed in a movie, only possessed or absorbed. So cheer up! 17.If you've beaten the monster into a bloody pulp and you're sure he must be dead, take the opportunity to dismember, burn, eat, blow up or otherwise utterly destroy him. ------------------ The Future Is Coming On Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest grannen Posted June 26, 2001 Share Posted June 26, 2001 Nilbog? I once stopped in a small town called Nilbog. The people didn't look like the nice Gremlins, more like Goblins! ------------------ and Grannen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Al-back from the BigWhoop Posted June 26, 2001 Share Posted June 26, 2001 u forgot two: 18-if a moster is chasing you, no matter how tempting it is, DO NOT RUN UP THE STAIRS. 19-If you are the first person in the movie to be attacked by the monster, dont bother fighting, cause your gonna die anyway. ------------------ Well, u know. the trip wasnt really like its showing, i had to make it comic... u know... no one kicked me out... well, just this guy... i mean an army of undead koalas and some evil forces from hell!!!!!!... and this mushroom... well the mushrooms were the evil forces of hell... mushroom, singular... ok forget the koalas... WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE LOOKING AT ME????? KEEP READING THE FORUM, NEVERMIND THIS!!AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [This message has been edited by Al-back from the BigWhoop (edited June 25, 2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heracio T. Marley Posted June 26, 2001 Share Posted June 26, 2001 Why did we need to know this ------------------ AHHHHHHH I grew 2 more heads am I going crazy? please dont answer that. Why'd you tell me that now I need another coconut visit my website at sign my guest book look at my pics and all that other stuff okay do it Monkeys with monkeys shouldn't play with other monkey's monkeys. does that seem sick or what? If i were a demonic skull or a secret how many heads would I lose? Originally wrote and posted by Heracio T. Marley Why dont people answer my questions? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Al-back from the BigWhoop Posted June 26, 2001 Share Posted June 26, 2001 ITS FUNNY! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Posted June 26, 2001 Share Posted June 26, 2001 that it is, That It Is ------------------ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Natty Posted June 26, 2001 Share Posted June 26, 2001 Randy: Look, Look, Look here it comes! Boy #1: Whoa Ohh! Boy #2: Why do they do that? Boy #2: The blood is all wrong. It's too red. Randy: Wait, here comes another. Boy #1: Ooh, yes . Boy #1: Predictable, I knew he was going to bite it. Boy #2: How can you watch this **** over and over? Randy: Shh. Stu: I wanna see Jamie Lee's breast. Stu: When will we see Jamie Lee's breasts? Randy: Breasts? Randy: Not until "Trading Places" in '83. Randy: Jamie was always the virgin in horror movies. Randy: She never showed her tits until she went legits. Girl #1: Couldn't afford a decent pair. Randy: That's why she always out smarted the killer in the big chase scene at the end. Randy: Only virgins can do that, don't you know the rules? Stu: What rules? Randy: Jesus Christ, You don't know the rules?! Stu: Have an aneurysm why don't you! Randy: There are certain rules you must abide by in order to successfully survive a horror movie. Randy: For instance. #1 You can never have sex. Big no-no Big no-no. Stu: I'd be a dead man. Randy: Sex equals death okay? Randy: #2 You can never drink or do drugs. No E sin factor. This is sin. It's an extension of number 1. Randy: #3 never ever under any circumstances do you ever say "I'll be right back" cause you won't be back. Stu: I'm getting another beer you want one? Randy: Yeah sure. Stu: "I'll be right back!" Randy: You push the laws and you end up dead. I'll see you in the kitchen with a knife. ------------------ [bNatty[/b] [This message has been edited by Natty (edited June 26, 2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brief Posted June 26, 2001 Share Posted June 26, 2001 <ol start="20" align="Justify">[*]God help you if you're a middle-aged adult who decides to check out what those kids are making such a racus about...</li>[*]Remember: Talk is cheap, and it's not like you want to get to know the monster, anyway, so just hack him to pieces.</li>[*]Don't drive soft-cover convertables--the killer can easily slash through the soft top.</li>[*]Skip town at the first sign of danger, especially if you are male. Females have a much better survival rate. If you're a male and the killers didn't get you, chances are they will in the sequel.</li>[/list=a] ------------------ "Lisa, I've had it with you and your stories. <font face="Comic Sans MS">'Bart's a vampire.' 'Beer kills brain cells.'</font> Now let's go back to that... building thingie... where our beds and TV... is." --Homer, The Simpsons [This message has been edited by brief (edited June 26, 2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Natty Posted June 27, 2001 Share Posted June 27, 2001 Yeah, look at Scream and I Know What You Did Last Summer Did anyone else think that Scream3 was way too dodgy? The good thing about that is that someone was blown up in a house. At least Gale and Dewy got their act together, finally Yay for them. Another thing you gotta remember, when shooting the killer, always shoot them in the head, it's the only way you're gonna die, otherwise they're probably wearing a bulletproof vest or something and are still alive, only waiting for you to come over and investigate (what kinda idiot goes and investigates a potentially alive body of a phsyco maniac killer anyway?) so that he can hack you to pieces with the big butchers knife or something. See HalloweenH20 was good coz Jamie Lee cut her brothers head off at the end which was damn funny. Cept that kinda defetes Randy's purpose of the theory of horror movies, coz Jamie Lee definatly wasn't a virgin in that movie and she survives, like what's the deal with that? Oh and don't forget, the good guys will always win, no matter what happens. Hey how come there's never been a movie where the bad guy kills everyone and sails off into the sunset and lives happily ever after? Actually, in Wild Things that happened, but nevermind Does anyone get the impression I spend too much time watching movies? ------------------ Natty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShiBbY! Posted June 27, 2001 Share Posted June 27, 2001 Originally posted by NiKo: 7.If you're running from the monster, you will most likely trip or fall. If you are female you will. Is this one NOT: 7. If you're running from a monster be sure to plan ahead. You will trip and fall numerous times, expect to fall 4 or 5 more times if you are a female in heels. PLUS: Even though the monster is slowly lobbing through the forest it will ALWAYS catch you, no matter how fast YOU run. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Natty Posted June 27, 2001 Share Posted June 27, 2001 I think it's funny, people always freak out when the monster/killer is after them and run as fast as they can, and the killer/monster just strolls along minding its own business, it's too funny, and not very realistic ------------------ Natty- I'm too cute not to hug Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MagnusB Posted June 27, 2001 Share Posted June 27, 2001 Natty: Hey how come there's never been a movie where the bad guy kills everyone and sails off into the sunset and lives happily ever after? Scary Movie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Natty Posted June 27, 2001 Share Posted June 27, 2001 OMG how could I forget Scary Movie? Of course ------------------ Natty- I'm too cute not to hug Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Posted June 27, 2001 Share Posted June 27, 2001 24. If the killer suddenly seems to disappear, he will end up in whatever direction you choose to run. He may even end up about a mile away so be prepared....... ------------------ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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