[Short fic]Death of a Loved One

[Rabish Bini]

Hello,

This is an entry for Javyar's Cantina, Enjoy.

 

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Death of a Loved One

 

The Ebon Hawk flew away as Lehon exploded.

“Those Sith never give up the hunt.” Said Atton as Rick was doing a headcount.

“Mira, Atton, Bao-Dur, Visas, me and,” Rick paused, “Where’s Brianna?”

“I didn’t see her on the ship.” Said Bao-Dur.

Rick started to shake, “That means she’s still on Lehon.”

“But it’s gone,” pointed out Visas.

“Meaning Brianna’s gone too!” countered Rick. There was an awkward silence as everyone realized what has happened. Rick was the most affected, he quietly walked to the cargo hold, where he sat for the night, crying…

 

The night had been a slow one, with Rick getting no sleep. Visas had been in earlier, but neither she nor Rick said anything. She just left him some breakfast and walked off.

Rick got up. It was time to find the truth.

“Atton, we’re going to Korriban.” He said

“Korriban?” Wondered Atton, “Why Korriban?”

“To find the truth.”

 

The Ebon Hawk set down in the Valley of the Dark Lords. A mysterious figure stood in the shadows.

“Oh no.” It muttered under its breath…

Rick was he first to step out. The shadowy figure stepped out of the shadows to reveal that he is a Devaronian.

Rick punched him in the face.

“Is she alive?!”

“You’re a psycho, ya know that?” Said the Devaronian. Rick picked him up and slammed him against a wall, with everyone else watching.

“I’ll say it again, is she alive?” The Devaronian acted as if he knew nothing.

Rick threw him into one of the pillars, immediately making it crumble and crush the Devaronian.

”I know you survived that Gvakar. So come out and answer my question!” The rocks lifted with Gvakar coming out from underneath them.

“Ya coulda said please.”

”No time for pleasantries, is she alive or not?”

“My sources say yes.” Said Gvakar.

“Where is she?”

“Somewhere on Manaan, in the ocean.”

“Than I’m leaving, and if you’re lying, next time, you won’t survive those pillars.” Rick walked back into the Ebon Hawk.

“What was that about?” Asked Bao-Dur. “Just because you may have lost your loved one doesn’t mean you have to take it out on others.”

“Atton, set a course for Manaan.”

“Ooh, I hear the swoop championships are on now.” Said Atton, “Leaving right away!”

“Ungrateful bastard.” Muttered Gvakar as the Ebon Hawk left.

 

The Ebon Hawk made a landing on Manaan.

“Greetings,” Said the Selkath welcomer, “There will be a 100 credit fee and you’ll have to sign some papers before you can enter Ahto.”

 

“Do you understand what he just said?” Asked Visas.

”Kind of.” Replied Rick. “I have already paid and signed the papers.”

”Yes you have.” Said the Selkath, “Enjoy your stay in Ahto.”

“You said you wouldn’t use that trick.” Pointed out Atton, with Rick replying, “Time is money.”

They walked into Ahto, where a big crowd was gathering around the the swoop racers.

“The winner of the swoop championships,” The announcer started, “Is Revan!” The crowd cheered.

‘Did he just say Revan?” Asked Bao-Dur,

“Who cares?” Replied Rick.

They walked to the Republican settlement where the President greeted them.

“We are using your submarine.” Said Rick, putting a lot of the Force behind it.

“Go ahead.”

There was only a one-manned sub left, Rick had to go by himself.

“It’ll be dangerous down there, be careful General.”

”Okay Bao-Dur.” Rick left…

 

The sub reached the underwater facility, where Rick was immediately in danger.

”It’s you! Gather up Sith, today we will take Rick down!” Rick ignited his cyan lightsaber and stabbed the Sith through the stomach. Rick ran down the hallway where there were more Sith, but they were of no concern, Rick finished them with ease. He navigated through the facility, until he reached the central room. A Dark Jedi was meditating.

“You’re powerful,” Said the Dark Jedi, “But not as powerful as me!” He jumped up and attacked Rick, his blood red lightsaber contrasting with Rick’s cyan one.

“We’ll just se about that!” Replied Rick. He jumped to the edge of the room. The Dark Jedi ran towards Rick, but Rick moved and attacked him in the back. The Dark Jedi blocked just in time and countered with his own attack.

”Time for you to DIE!” He attacked Rick with Force lightning; Rick tried his best at dodging, but eventually succumbed to the Dark Jedi’s Force mastery.

“You are nothing compared to me. Say. Your. Prayers.” The Dark Jedi went to finish the job, but Rick still had some fight left in him. He kicked the Dark Jedi’s legs out from underneath him. Rick ran to the other side of the room, where his lightsaber fell. He picked it up and threw it at the Dark Jedi, piercing his heart, killing him in an instant.

“Nobody stands between me and Brianna.” Rick continued through the facility until he reached the airlock chamber. Brianna was there, but she was knocked out. Rick used the Force to wake her up.

“Thank the Force your alive!” Rick started to walk towards her, but she stopped him.

“Don’t come any closer, there are infra-red beams that seal off the room and emit poison gas, be careful getting through. Luckily for Rick he knew about Force sight, he used it to see that it will be a very hard task getting through the beams, plus they were moving. Rick flipped through the first set before realising another was right in front of him. Rick fell on his back to avoid them. He flipped back to his feet as another beam passed underneath him. He slid under the last set to make it to Brianna.

“I’m so glad your okay.” He gave her a peck on the cheek, while untying the rope around her hands.

“Can you walk?” He asked.

“No, my ankle’s twisted.” He picked her up.

“How are we going to get through these beams?” Rick wondered. A fluke will have to do. Rick waited for the exact moment where all the beams where in a certain position to make a diamond-shaped hole. Rick threw Brianna through the opening, cushioning her fall with the Force. By this time the beams were jumbled. Rick crawled under the first set.

Doooooooo Doooooooo! The siren went off. Rick touched a beam with his foot. The door sealed and gas filled the room, they were trapped! Rick had to think fast, he tried cutting through the door with his lightsaber, but the door was too thick. He tried the Force but it had no effect against the door. The only way out was the airlock, but there was only one suit. That would have to do. Rick told Brianna to put the suit on.

“What about you?” She asked.

“Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine.” Rick opened the airlock and carried Brianna threw.

“How’s your ankle?” Asked Rick.

“Much better.”

“Then go on without me, I’ll be there in a sec.” Brianna did as she was told and made her way through the Firaxa infested waters. Rick closed the airlock, he tried to open the door through the security console, but it’s security clearance was too hard for Rick to hack into. There truly was no way out. If Rick tried going through the ocean, he would not make it past a couple of metres. He was doomed. Poison was filling his body; he could fell himself getting weaker. His legs collapsed under him, and then, his mind went blank, his life was over.

 

Brianna had just made it to the sub where she waited for Rick, but he never came. Eventually she got tired of waiting. She ran towards the airlock where the gas must’ve finished by now, and the door opened. Her double-bladed silver lightsaber by her side just in case any Sith are around. She made it to the airlock where she spotted Rick, lying on the floor.

“RICK!” She yelled. She ran towards him, tears flooding her face.

”No, this can’t be true, it can’t.” But it was, Rick was gone. His pain was short, but Brianna’s will last a lifetime.

 

The sub came up to the Republican settlement, where everyone was waiting. They were glad Rick was back, but there happiness turned to sadness as they saw Rick’s body in Brianna’s arms. He may be gone, but his legacy will never be forgotten…

 

---------------The End---------------

Hope you enjoyed it, and vote AkumaSF.

[Emperor Devon]

Good concept, Akuma. It definitely has potential, but there was a couple things I thought that needed clearing up, the font being the first of them. Being somewhat smaller than the normal text and being a different font than the kind found at the rest of LF, it's somewhat awkward to read.

 

The rescue concept was good, but was in need of some polishing - mainly the tying up of loose ends. I was somewhat curious as to why the Unknown World was blowing up, and why Brianna was taken to Manaan by the Dark Jedi. While details like those are technical and unrelated to the actual writing, they confuse the reader and make it harder to appreciate the rest of the fic.

 

Other than that, more description would've been nice - you've got quite a bit of dialogue, which dwarfs the description you already have.

 

Still, the fic was definitely action-y and the ending was original and not at all what I was expecting. Twists like those always add a bit of extra flavor to a fic. My compliments!

[Rabish Bini]

Thanks Devon, and i'll fix it up a bit when it gets moved to the normal CEC.

Glad you liked it.