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[Fic] Vremya ("Time")


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(Author's Note: The STAR WARS Official Chronology, copyright 2005, lists both Darth Kreia and Darth Traya as Sith personages in the KOTOR era. Therefore, in this first part of an ongoing saga, the Jedi Exile has redeemed "Darth" Kreia and slain Atris, who had fallen to the Dark Side once and for all, claiming the title of Darth Traya. At this present moment, the Exile is searching for Revan on the very border of the Outer Rim...)

 

Time is something we Jedi are taught to respect. It is a natural instrument of the Force; therefore, it tends to flow for our good, not our harm. To grow us in wisdom, patience, and love--the three core tenets of our Order. If we have not these, we have nothing, save the deeds we've supposedly done in the name of the Light. I wonder if time has betrayed me, or I've betrayed it...

 

It's not that I lack patience, or wisdom or love. I sincerely strive to feed everyone that I meet with these three nutrients of my heart. It's simply that I lack--what is it? Foresight? A sense of my place in this world and in the galaxy? A humble acceptance that when it comes to my mission, time is truly the master and I the slave? I don't know, but I must learn it soon.

 

It's been several years--six--since I departed the sundering remnants of Malachor V, and two since I found Kreia and became reconnected with the Force. What hard labor I've gladly performed, v techenie vos'mi let! During eight years, I've sought to repay the debt that I owe to the Jedi, to atone for the wrongs I've committed in the name of love. I went to war because I loved the suffering souls that were being decimated by the millions as the Outer Rim burned. I violated the teachings of my Order and myself because I loved the hunger that rose up within me to crush injustice, to fight to the death for a cause that called for more than cold deliberation in the halls of the Jedi Council. I've loved and lost, and I've paid.

 

They say that time is a healer of all wounds and broken hearts. I believe this, although more than time was needed to heal my friends. Those who traveled with me required the Force and a teacher, said Kreia, but also something deeper. Something that time could provide but not give directly, and the Force couldn't touch. I wonder where they are now--if they're still at the Enclave on Dantooine or have ventured beyond to conquer some newly-surfaced Sith threat. Though their whereabouts are unknown, I can sense them, feel them through the Force, and they miss me. I miss them, too, as much as one can miss one's closest friends. Perhaps time will bring about our reunion, but I suspect not. Revan knew that could never be.

 

Revan? Where are you? I've searched for you all this time, even during my apprenticeship with your Master. Do you know I'm looking for you? Do you even want to be found? There is so much I still don't know about you, and here I served at your command in the Mandalorian Wars! It's strange what time can do to certain bonds between two people--bring them closer even as their physical proximity and relationship grow apart. It's quiet here in starry space, but nowhere near as quiet as when I lie down at night and fall asleep to the thundering of my own heart. I am lost, Revan. Does Bastila feel the same way? Has time healed her, or only made her bitter?

 

Exile, Kreia once said, before she sacrificed herself in order to protect me from Atris, there is much to do. Much you must do before your journey ends. She is coming for you, and when you fight her, do not show her mercy. Atris is darker than I ever had been, the hatred she feels for the Order and for what you've done burning like the core of Malachor V in her heart. She intends to strike and kill, and if she rises, the galaxy falls.

 

I slew Atris, intending to save her as I had Kreia, but she would have none of it. Time had done nothing but cement her rage within her chest, locking it into place. This begs the question--did time flow for Atris' good, or for ill?

 

This exhausts me. I shall retire for the evening, though it is only semnadtsat' chasa right now--1700 hours. My eyes close already...

 

Exile. Stay with me. Work for the salvation of this galaxy, and you work for life. This edge of the Outer Rim has worlds you still must visit and pay homage to. You have no credits, no riches, nothing to save you from labor you might not wish to do, but you must. Take heart, for I'll be with you.

 

"Da, u menya...yest'...vremya..." I sigh weakly. "Yes, I have time..."

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