Comics Written by Myself

[Kroms]

I wrote this comic last night. Well I try drawing them too but I'm not very good at it yet. If anyone wants to draw these, go ahead, but credit me for writing =P

 

Anyways, I don't know if anyone's read of Jack Thompson's latest social suicide, in which he told a mother she should be ashamed of herself because her son is the CEO of Take-Two, aka the publishers of GTA IV.

 

So I wrote this comic last night. I learned a lot from it, too.

 

I'll draw it if anyone likes it, even if I still need to practice; I'll also post more if they're popular. Criticise the hecks out of the writing though.

 

Tell me if it's hard to read this.

 

[1] Jack Thompson's Crusade

 

First panel:

 

Narration:

Nobody liked me when I was a child.

 

Boy, angry:

Jack, just stop eating your boogers and we'll let you play with us.

 

Jack (young):

But they're so creamy!

 

Narration:

I never understood why.

 

Second panel:

Narration:

I make-up for it these days.

 

[There is a fat bum, and Jack Thompson in a dress and a lot of make-up. He sports enormous breasts, with most of the cleavage exposed.]

 

Jack (prostitute):

I'm cheap, baby. Just give me 15 minutes of your attention and I'll do everything you want.

 

Bum:

And you say you learned it all from Nintendo?

 

Third panel:

Narration:

And now, I'm finally here.

 

In Paris.

 

[Jack Thompson in a straitjacket, smiling; he is in the mental ward]

 

Jack:

Paris is AMAZING!

 

Narration:

My life is complete.

 

Blah =P I guess it isn't any good then.

[The Tingler]

First of all, it's not a comic until you actually draw something for it! This is a script, and scripts only ever contain half the humour value.

 

Considering the massive comic potential of Thompson, your comic/script doesn't really seem to draw on anything he does. I like the three stages of his life idea (unliked kid, present, future) but none of the words or scenarios seem much like him.

 

Suggestion: tie them together, or to that story (which is what Penny Arcade would do, say). Example:

 

Kid Jack - have him tell one of the other kid's mothers that their son is swearing and so is going to Hell, and her with him.

Present Jack - writing letters. "Dear Mrs. Zelnick, your son persuades kids to murder people..." "Dear Mrs. Levine, your son advocates child murder..." "Dear Mrs. Miyamoto, your son says that murdering turtles is a good thing..."

Future Jack - On a gallows or in a guillotine, surrounded by older women holding placards that read 'Mothers 4 Justice'. "All I said was that your sons are murderers and you're going to Hell!"

[Kroms]

First of all, it's not a comic until you actually draw something for it! This is a script, and scripts only ever contain half the humour value.

 

Considering the massive comic potential of Thompson, your comic/script doesn't really seem to draw on anything he does. I like the three stages of his life idea (unliked kid, present, future) but none of the words or scenarios seem much like him.

 

Suggestion: tie them together, or to that story (which is what Penny Arcade would do, say). Example:

 

Kid Jack - have him tell one of the other kid's mothers that their son is swearing and so is going to Hell, and her with him.

Present Jack - writing letters. "Dear Mrs. Zelnick, your son persuades kids to murder people..." "Dear Mrs. Levine, your son advocates child murder..." "Dear Mrs. Miyamoto, your son says that murdering turtles is a good thing..."

Future Jack - On a gallows or in a guillotine, surrounded by older women holding placards that read 'Mothers 4 Justice'. "All I said was that your sons are murderers and you're going to Hell!"

 

Man you're a genius. Thank you

 

I tried doing some ideas, but none of them really kicked off for me. I tried to imply what I thought of him: a mentally unstable loser who tries to make-up for lost time, ego being an attention whore. But I like your idea a lot. I'll try combining both of them.

 

 

I just noticed I wrote Blah it isn't very good then here btw. Lol sorry wrong thread.