The_Catto Posted September 14, 2008 Share Posted September 14, 2008 It was touching. I liked it. It set the mood for a funeral, and it kept the mood throughout. Not something what you would read other than at a funeral, but that's a very good thing. Some things that are made for a funeral, just shouldn't be read at a funeral. That however, was not one of them. Perfectly suited. As I said, I liked it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rabish Bini Posted September 15, 2008 Author Share Posted September 15, 2008 Hooray, I was thinking I might have stuffed it up a little, but I'm glad I didn't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rabish Bini Posted December 13, 2008 Author Share Posted December 13, 2008 Sorry I haven't posted a new chap in a looong time, but i was busy with school, exams and work, I finally got one done, here it is ------------------------------ Chapter 8 - Dark and Light The line between dream and reality, is a thin line to walk... Revan was running his way through a training exercise, destroying droids and targets as he went along, running through a capital ship, it was a simple exercise, the droids provide little to no excitement, he turned around to see the rubble he left behind, when stupidly enough, he ran into a wall... “Bastila? Is that you?” Revan was weak, his muscles aching, his eyes dreary. Bastila stood there in front of him, not responding, staring into his eyes, she seemed so far away, and yet was so close. Revan reached out to touch her, but she stopped him. “Save your energy, you’ll need it” She said, in the softest sound Revan had ever heard. “I, I can’t live without you.” “You’ve done well so far, my love.” Revan looked down, at the bright white floor, covering the room, the walls made of some sort of metal, as was the ceiling, “Look up Revan, your enemy is waiting.” He looked up to see the Dark Jedi that attacked him standing in Bastila’s place, he drew his blood red lightsaber and swung viciously at Revan, but Revan managed to do a quick army roll out of the way, grabbing his lightsaber at the same time. Revan flicked the switch, it wouldn’t ignite. “Missing something?” The Dark Jedi said, holding up the crystal needed to power a lightsaber. Revan quickly grew frustrated and threw himself at the Dark Jedi, like a man possessed. The Dark Jedi lifted up his saber to slice Revan in two, but Revan grabbed it at the hilt, tore it out of his hand and broke it in two. “You never told me what your name was.” Revan said. “You can call me Tobruk.” He replied, when a loud explosion knocked both on the ground. “Expect more chaos Revan.” He told him with his last breath. *** Beeping noises awoke Revan, and he opened his eyes to see a droid leaning over his face. He immediately jumped out of the bed he was in and blew up the droid with the Force, when a woman, dressed like a nurse walked in, and called the janitors to clean up the mess. “Hello Revan, did you have a good night’s sleep?” She asked, with a big grin on her face. “Who are you? Where am I? I want answers.” “I’m a nurse here, you’re in the Coruscant hospital.” She replied nicely. A confused look came across Revan’s face. “That’s impossible, how did I get here then?” He asked. “You were brought here from Dantooine, after you copped a vicious blow to the head.” “But didn’t I get captured by that Dark Jedi?” “Hmm, you must’ve forgotten everything.” The nurse said, “Don’t worry, I’ll explain everything” It was Kavar, “Take a seat Revan” Revan sat down, and leaned forward in anxiously. “After the funeral, Revan, while you were sitting at the pond, a small group of mercenaries attacked the enclave.” “So they weren’t Sith” Revan thought to himself. “Afterwards, you started attacking a few of the Jedi, and Istarted chasing you to hold you down, when you got your lightsaber however, things were looking pretty grim. You were wild and out of control, it was like you suddenly got possessed by a demon or something, thankfully one of the other masters managed to knock you unconscious, we brought you here a couple days ago, and you’ve been twisting and turning vigorously in your bed ever since.” “But, what about the battle I had with the Dark Jedi? What about the training exercise with the droids I did?” Revan asked suspiciously. “They must’ve been what was causing your vigorous shaking, that Dark Jedi fight you mentioned must’ve been a real bad nightmare, along with seeing Bastila.” Revan looked at the floor as tears rolled down his face, he looked up and went to say something, but Kavar was gone. The nurse walked in again. “Excuse me, did you see Kavar leave?” Revan asked her. “I’m sorry Revan, but Kavar died along with Zez Kai-Ell in the Kreia incident a while ago.” Revan’s jaw dropped. “What is happening to me?” Revan thought to himself, as he lay back into his bed, and drifted off into a deep slumber... *** Revan was up bright and early the next day, visiting the people the he had hurt accidently, that were being treated in the very same hospital, apologising to everyone. Multiple times however, the victims of his attack were still in a coma, and Revan promised he’d return. After he finished all of his apologies, he headed to the nearest passenger ship to Dantooine, and travelled back to the place where everything went wrong. *** The ship touched down in the airport, and Revan hopped off to be meted by gasps, and blank stares, some of the poorer people even ran in fear. Revan felt alone, and the feeling hurt like a thousand daggers to the spine. But he continued on his way to the enclave. The centre of the Enclave was reduced to rubble, and Revan stood there, staring at what he had done, when a voice called out from behind, he turned to see one of the newly appointed Jedi Masters, Master Tobruk. “So you have come back. What is your purpose.” He asked, in a stern voice. “I’ve come to apologise for the pain have caused, it may not be accepted, but it doesn’t hurt to try.” Master Tobruk smiled, if it wasn’t for you, the Galaxy would be under Sith rule right now, I’m sure many of the Jedi will be forgiving, but beware of the civilians who do not know you, if they attack you, it’s up to you to stop them.” He warned. “Thanks for the heads up, anything I can do to help rebuild the Enclave?” Revan asked. “You might wanna clear the Kath Hounds that thought this would be a good time to attack.” Revan nodded, and headed to the plains surrounding the Enclave. Revan got there, and cleared away few of the Kath Hounds, before a bigger threat emerged. The Kath Hounds were being tamed and trained to attack Revan on site, by a farmer fearing another attack. “Hold them off, please.” Revan pleaded, “I came here to apologise.” “Ye ain’t ‘ere ta apologise, ye mongrel, yer ‘ere tyo destroy me crops. Get ‘im boys.” The Kath Hounds attacked Revan, and he was forced to put them down. “An now yer killin’ me pets, whattaya gat ta say ta thet?” “You’re the one that made them attack me, I was merely defending myself.” Revan was taken aback by the viciousness of the farmer. “If ye really ar’ sorry, you’d do sumthin ‘bout me problem. Go out inta the bushes, and bring me back me money from those runts Sandral and Matale, maybe i’ll forgive ye, me money’ll be in a safe, explosion resistant. Go on, git!!” Revan nodded, and headed off to fetch his money. *** Revan returned to the man’s farm, to find him hiding beneath his bed. “Tank the force yer ‘ere, dun worry ‘bout me money, jus’ go on and save the enclave, I’m too much of a coward ta do it meself.” “Do you know what happened?” Revan asked. “Gots no idea, just know it’s unda attack.” Revan left his money on top of the bed, and headed to the enclave, only to find the outside burning, the fire as hot as the three suns of Tatooine, he could see the fires from miles away. He headed toward it, ready for whatever might be waiting inside... ------------------------------ Confused yet? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Catto Posted December 13, 2008 Share Posted December 13, 2008 A little rushed in some places, but I liked it nonetheless. And yes ... VERY confused Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rev7 Posted December 13, 2008 Share Posted December 13, 2008 Yes, I am very confused. Good chapter though! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rabish Bini Posted December 14, 2008 Author Share Posted December 14, 2008 A little rushed in some places, but I liked it nonetheless. And yes ... VERY confused That seems to be my downfall, I rush a bit too much. Yes, I am very confused. Good chapter though! Thank you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chevron 7 locke Posted December 14, 2008 Share Posted December 14, 2008 Impressive...most impressive. I really like all the twists and turns your putting in the story Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rabish Bini Posted December 14, 2008 Author Share Posted December 14, 2008 Impressive...most impressive. I really like all the twists and turns your putting in the story Yay a new reader! Glad you liked it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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