Guest Lord Tirion Posted October 11, 2001 Share Posted October 11, 2001 It is now Day 1 since Star Wars Galactic Battlegrounds has hit the shelves where people have dashed all across malls world wide pking one another to grab their copy "Fook you dewd! I saw it first, its mine!" "Dont you touch that box or I will pk your arse!" "Dont make me roxxor you!" These lines have echoed across world in all electronic stores world wide. But now, let us enter one of the first official games on the zone and see what really goes on: nXs_Tirion has logged on to the zone! nXs_Tirion: Wassup everybody! The Zone: Shaddup noob! The Zone: Shaddup noob! The Zone: Shaddup noob! The Zone: Shaddup noob! nXs_Tirion: Yep, same old zone. All the frikin flooders and 10 year olds.. Tirion hops in a game where he is joined by his guildmates nXs_Sirion and nXs_Warlord. After much rejoicing "Yaaaayyy", and after several hours as people in the zone just sit there and dont bother to join games and just flood, 5 people have entered the game room only to bail out as usual. nXs_Sirion: Fooking noobs! Things never change! nXs_Warlord: They ***xor. Then, 3 new people enter: UberDewd1, IPKurArse, and BidPimpDaddySmack enter the game. nXs_Tirion: You milky lickers staying? UberDewd1, IPKurArse, and BidPimpDaddySmack all agree to stay so Tirion launches the first official game and again, there was much rejoicing, "Yaaaaaayyyy". The main screen loads up and of course, floods of taunts go flying across the screen as these kids seem to get a kick out of it for some odd reason. The civs are picked. Tirion takes the Imperials, Warlord takes the Gungans, and Sirion as well, takes Imperials. UberDewd1, IPKurArse, and BidPimpDaddySmack take the rebels and wookies. With all that set (after about 14 hours of all the noobs trying to get on the right team number and off each others colors, Tirion is finally able to start up the game. The deathmatch game starts but suddenly thats when things go strange. It seems that the developers have given their customers something extra. The units are alive and have a mind of their own! Tirion tries clicking is worker to cut down the tree.. TirionWorker1: Fook you dewd! If you want that tree cut down, then get your own arse in this game and cut it! I am not doing sheet until I get paid! nXs_Tirion: WTF?? Hey dewds, you guys see that? nXs_Warlord: No, but all my workers just all jumped on my Jar Jar unit and beat the living piss out of him! nXs_Sirion: My worker told me to go fook myself and that he will kick my arse if I make him work! WTF? nXs_Tirion: Dunno dewds, we are in for a long game. After bribing the workers with a nice oil bath after the game, they finally get to work and start constructing the buildings. Out pops Vader from one of the buildings wielding his light saber and dancing like a fairy with a skirt on. Vader: WTF??? Damn you developers!! You made me into a panzy!!! How am I suppose to rule the galaxe like father and son if I fight like the mother!! Damn you all to hell!!! nXs_Tirion: Calm down darkie. I need you to rally the troops and roxxor these noobs we are playing. Vader: Don't tell me what to do newb! I will own joo! nXs_Tirion: Whatever noob. Just get read to rock. 10 AT-Ats are created and start heading over to nXs_Warlord's civilization and start stepping on the gungans. nXs_Warlord: You idiot!! Why did you turn on me?!! nXs_Tirion: It is not me dewd! They did that on their own. nXs_Sirion: LOL! nXs_Warlord: I wouldnt laugh jerkie. I have about 20 gungan female workers making their way to your town with lipstick on. nXs_Sirion: That ***xors! The Emperor emerges from Sirion's town shooting lighting out his arse and cackling. nXs_Sirion: Sweet! I got the Emperor on my side! This.. oh sheet! nXs_Tirion: What?! nXs_Sirion: That dumb fooker just melted my whole town! Now I gotta rebuild! nXs_Warlord: LOL!! Teach you to laugh at me! nXs_Sirion: Shut up newb. Soon as I rebuild I am gonna go over there and roxxor joo! nXs_Tirion: LOL! nXs_Sirion: What? nXs_Tirion: I just scouted our our enemies towns and they dont have one building up! Their workers have picket signs protesting about Equal Droid Rites! nXs_Warlord: LOL! Just then, Jar Jar respawns and runs through Tirion's town. JarJar: Help mesa Help mesa!! Vader sees JarJar and ignites his saber. Vader: I have you now! nXs_Tirion: God dammit Vader! Get your black ass back in my town and stop chasing Jar Jar. We gotta rush those noobs! Vader: Fook you newb. I am getting me a piece of Jar Jar! Vader continously chases Jar Jar across all 3 towns until finally cornering him in some carbon fields. Vader: Come to me! JarJar: Nosa! Yousa gonna be mean to mesa! Vader: Would I lie? 5 seconds later Jar Jar respawns back in Warlords town. nXs_Warlord: I got some good news and bad news Tirion. nXs_Tirion: Oh yeah? What? nXs_Warlord: Well. It seems your AT-ATs are heading back to you. nXs_Tirion: Kick arse. Bout time. What is the bad news? nXs_Warlord: Well, when they get back to you, can you please peel off all my workers from their feet and send them back to me? To be continued.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lord Tirion Posted October 11, 2001 Share Posted October 11, 2001 You dont know the half of it... =P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Luke Skywalker Posted October 11, 2001 Share Posted October 11, 2001 HHHAHAHA lol. You should right the Galactic Battlegrounds Chronicals. Post one of those every week. It would be great! lol it just goes to prove how bored you really are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lord Tirion Posted October 11, 2001 Share Posted October 11, 2001 Ill try and post a segment of this story every day or so if I have the time. Right now I am waiting for my site to upload so decided to do this to kill time =P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lord Tirion Posted October 11, 2001 Share Posted October 11, 2001 I'll go check it out. Mine is in my sig =P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Luke Skywalker Posted October 11, 2001 Share Posted October 11, 2001 Booth of you go join the GB.com chat. Its IRC style. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lord Tirion Posted October 11, 2001 Share Posted October 11, 2001 I dont even have mirc anymore. My guild just uses MSN messenger to talk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Luke Skywalker Posted October 11, 2001 Share Posted October 11, 2001 Just go to community then chat on the main GB.com page. Use Internet Explorer. Its as simple as that. Unless you have a program like Mirc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lord Tirion Posted October 11, 2001 Share Posted October 11, 2001 I am waiting for Sirathos. He challenged me 1 on 1 =) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Luke Skywalker Posted October 11, 2001 Share Posted October 11, 2001 I like your new sig tirion. It looks atlot better than your old one. This is how bored I am posting about you sig. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lord Tirion Posted October 11, 2001 Share Posted October 11, 2001 lol thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lord Tirion Posted October 11, 2001 Share Posted October 11, 2001 Thanks. I should have another installment of this story tonight if anybody actually cares in these forums which I doubt lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Luke Skywalker Posted October 11, 2001 Share Posted October 11, 2001 Make a site dedicated to them. They could be the weekly chronicals! It would be funny. No story No plot. Lol sounds like the forums some times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lord Tirion Posted October 12, 2001 Share Posted October 12, 2001 Continued... UberDewd1, IPKurArse, and BidPimpDaddySmack send a message stating that they want to start over because their workers are now setting up barn files and anti-human rallies and refuse to listen to any commands given to them. Nexsis agrees but when they try to restart the game, a big picture of the emperor envelops the screen: Emperor: Muwahahha!!! All your bases are belong to me! nXs_Tirion: Welp, looks like we are stuck in this game until somebody wins. UberDewd1: That ***xors! I have to take a bath in a few minutes. I have school tomorrow! IPKurArse: Yeah, I have to leave soon too. I have to study. I got a really important spelling bee contest tomorrow! BidPimpDaddySmack: I want to watch Barney!!!! nXs_Sirion: ***xors to be joo. Surrender your bases to me, or die! Jar Jar is then seen running through the middle of the map with a large Wampa chasing him. Jar Jar: Leave mesa alone!!! Why is everybody picking on mesa!!! Wampa: Roar! Jar Jar: Nosa. Yousa gonna be mean to mesa! Wampa: Roar! 5 seconds later, Jar Jar respawns in nXs_Warlords town. nXs_Tirion: Your Jar Jar unit just get pked again? nXs_Warlord: Yeah. That fooking noob keeps on running all over the place. nXs_Tirion: I just got done peeling all your workers off my AT-ATs feet. Want them now? nXs_Warlord: Hell yeah!! All the rest of my workers are in one of the houses watching Scooby Doo. nXs_Sirion: Umm.. riiiiigghtttt BidPimpDaddySmack: wtf?? UberDewd1: What? BidPimpDaddySmack: My workers just made a mosh bit and pked all the fooking nerfs they threw in the center!! I have no fooking food now!!! UberDewd1: You boob! Pick the berries! BidPimpDaddySmack: I can't! They burned that done 5 minutes ago when they started burning their bras and underwear during the protest. IPKurArse: Thats ok, my wookies are grooming each other's hairs and coughing up hairballs. nXs_Tirion: Woot!!! nXs_Sirion: What? nXs_Tirion: Just sent my AT-ATs to one of our enemies towns. They are gonna roxxor them... oh no!!! Warlord you fooking idiot!! nXs_Warlord: What? What did I do?? nXs_Tirion: Will you frickin lock up Jar Jar or something!!! My AT-ATs just saw him and are chasing him around the forest! Jar Jar: Mesa in big trouble!!!!!! Vader: Let me handle him! I am his... nXs_Sirion: We know we know.. his father, right? Yeah, we heard this line over and over before. Vader: No you milky licker. I am his proctologist! I am gonna shove this saber up his arse! Muwhahah Hooo-pah Jar Jar: Oh nosa yousa dont you big black poo poo head! Mesa gonna.. *splat* nXs_Tirion: I think one of my AT-ATs caught up to him.... nXs_Sirion: Oh sheet! They somehow managed to send a Han Solo unit in my town and he is shooting everything and he keeps on saying the same thing over and over, "I have a bad feeling about this!" nXs_Tirion: Damn! I am out of Boba Fett units. Warlord, send Sirion a Greedo Bounty Hunter. nXs_Warlord: Okieday! nXs_Sirion: OMG dude you did not just say that!! If you ever choose the gungans again im gonna pk your arse! IPKurArse: Somebody just call me? nXs_Sirion: No you noob! IPKurArse: Well!! I never.... Greedo cames prancing into Sirion's town singing the oompa loompa song. Han Solo sees him and smokes him with his blaster. All of a sudden, the screen goes black and then.... drumroll... the official GEORGE LUCAS UNIT appears!!!! GEORGE LUCAS: Ok dewds. We have to redo that part. Greedo will shoot first and then Han Solo will... ahhhhhh!!!! *splat* nXs_Tirion: You go AT-AT!!! Sorry Mr. Lucas, but you should have never changed that scene! Jar Jar goes running over to the pked GEORGE LUCAS UNIT. Jar Jar: Mesa gonna lewt his plaid shirt!!! To be continuted... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xirion Posted October 12, 2001 Share Posted October 12, 2001 LMAO this is classic keep it going Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darthfergie Posted October 12, 2001 Share Posted October 12, 2001 WOW YOU DOOOOO HAVE A LOT OF SPARE TIME!!! I just got around to reading both installments...good work. P.S.- the game almost sounds like Black&White *lol* (if you don't make your people happy they will just sit around talking and doing nothing, etc.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lord Tirion Posted October 12, 2001 Share Posted October 12, 2001 lol Each installment takes me no more than a couple of minutes. I just wing it as I go =P (As if you couldnt tell ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dagobahn Eagle Posted October 12, 2001 Share Posted October 12, 2001 ROFL! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Warlord Posted October 12, 2001 Share Posted October 12, 2001 Story KICKS a**, Studid ****ty gungan women, lol! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lord Tirion Posted October 12, 2001 Share Posted October 12, 2001 you know you want them Warlord.. you cant hide it =P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Merek Of Nexsis Posted October 12, 2001 Share Posted October 12, 2001 LOL. Keep up the good work! The forums need a little humour. Breaks up everyone whining about the units in the demo...lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Luke Skywalker Posted October 12, 2001 Share Posted October 12, 2001 Thats all too true Merek. I think we need it desperatley. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Warlord Posted October 13, 2001 Share Posted October 13, 2001 Gungan women are just too easy, that is why tirion is always surronder by them! For some reason they are attracted to odd looking men, lol! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lord Tirion Posted October 13, 2001 Share Posted October 13, 2001 Continued... Meanwhile on the other side of the board far far away... UberDewd1, IPKurArse, and BidPimpDaddySmack are throwing a hissy fit as their workers are now gathered around camp fires singing YMCA getting piss drunk. Workers: Y M C A! IPKurArse: This ***xors! We are gonna get roxxored. We cant build! BidPimpDaddySmack: Ah ha!!! UberDewd1: What are you so happy about? BidPimpDaddySmack: My droids are working!! Woot! IPKurArse: How did you manage to do that noob? BidPimpDaddySmack: I made my Chewbacca unit and had him going around pulling all the droids arms out of their sockets unless they got to work. UberDewd1: Schweet deal dewd. After he is done, send him over to our towns! Meanwhile back on the other side of the board far far far away... nXs_Tirion: Woohoo!!! Go AT-ATs go! nXs_Sirion: You killing the enemies?? nXs_Tirion: No, they just stepped on all those female gungan workers! nXs_Warlord: You bewb!!! nXs_Tirion: Sorry, but somebody had to do it. nXs_Sirion: Wtf? GEORGE LUCAS just respawned in my town! nXs_Warlord: What is he doing? nXs_Sirion: OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!! NO!!!! WHY GOD WHY?? nXs_Tirion: Wtf?? nXs_Sirion: He is trying to make another holiday special!!! He is asking all my workers if they want to be extras in it and he promised to pay them more than if they work for me! nXs_Warlord: Oh no he doesnt!! That first one was painful enough! Jar Jar! Jar Jar: Yes masa? nXs_Warlord: Go pk GEORGE LUCAS!! Jar Jar: No masa!!! Hesa the only one who is not mean to mesa nXs_Warlord: Oh yeah? Warlord clicks on Jar Jar and hovers his fingers over the delete button. Jar Jar: Nosa!!! Nosa!!! This sucksa!! Fine! Okieday! Jar Jar runs up to GEORGE LUCAS. Jar Jar: Exxsqueeeeeze me. But my masa told me to... GEORGE LUCAS: Shut up newb! I am trying to direct! Jar Jar: How wude! GEORGE LUCAS: Hey!! You have my favorite plaid shirt on!! Give me that fooker! Jar Jar: NO! Its mesas! GEORGE LUCAS: Come here! Jar Jar: No! Yousa gonna be mean to mesa! GEORGE LUCAS: Would I lie? 5 seconds later Jar Jar respawns back in Warlord's town. Jar Jar: You lied to mesa! GEORGE LUCAS: Gungans. HA! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darthfergie Posted October 17, 2001 Share Posted October 17, 2001 HEY Trion...why havn't you added another instalment??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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