You're Only Young Twice

[Inyri]

It was a quiet day. As quiet as Coruscant ever got. Ships carrying all sorts of cargo went about their business, delivering a variety of goods. One shuttle was carrying particularly precious cargo. It was carrying children.

The shuttle had seen more of the galaxy than the majority of its occupants, having traveled from the core worlds to the outer rim and back again. It had but one purpose: to gather Force sensitive children and bring them to Coruscant to be trained in the ways of the Jedi.

On this trip the shuttle was filled to the brim with promising young children, some as young as three with the oldest barely reaching eight. Two little girls near the middle of the shuttle did their best to hide themselves from prying eyes.

"I want to go home," the first little girl whined, her arms wrapped around her shins. She buried her face behind her legs.

"Me too," the other girl agreed, much more composed than her sister, "but Momma said we're going some place better."

"Mommy and Daddy don't want us anymore," the first girl muttered, squeezing out a few tears for emphasis.

The conversation was cut short as the shuttle broke through Coruscant's upper atmosphere. The two girls clutched each other tightly as the shuttle lurched from side to side. With one last clank it came to a halt, now resting safely on the hangar floor.

"Alright boys and girls," said a very young and very eager Jedi, "we have arrived at your new home."

"Let's hide," the first girl suggested. "Maybe they'll take us back."

"Don't be silly," her sister said, getting up and walking toward the Jedi. After a moment of indecision the little girl decided she had no interest in being a Jedi. As the other children filed out of the shuttle she found a conveniently placed bulkhead and ducked behind it, hoping no one would notice her absence. The shuttle was sure to return to her homeworld and then she could go home!

Finally the shuttle was empty. The little girl poked her head out from behind the bulkhead.

"Are you hiding, little one?" asked a man's voice. The girl retreated back behind the bulkhead. "Do not be afraid."

"I want to go home," she said stubbornly, on the verge of tears.

"I understand your fear, young one, but you mustn't hide," the voice replied. "Please come out."

Young as she was, the little girl realized she could not go home. She timidly stepped out from the shadows to face the voice. It was that of a young Twi'lek man in Jedi robes. With him was another Jedi. The Twi'lek's voice was soothing and she felt better in his presence.

"What is your name?" the Twi'lek asked, kneeling down in front of her.

"Kay," she replied softly.

"I am pleased to meet you, Kay," he said to her with a warm smile. "My name is Zhar."

"Kay, why did you hide?" the other little girl asked from behind the two Jedi.

"I was scared!" Kay exclaimed, running toward her sister and gripping her arm tightly. "Don't leave me again!"

"Hmm, sisters," Zhar mused to his companion. "Twins, no less."

"Should we separate them?"

"I believe they are too old now to be torn apart," Zhar replied, deep in thought. "They will be stronger together."

"Are you sure?" the other Jedi asked, frowning slightly. "The Jedi teachings clearly state-"

"Exceptions can be made," Zhar told him, waving his hand dismissively. "I sense these two will be strong in the Force, much moreso together than apart."

Zhar watched as the two girls followed the rest of the children, hand in hand. They had a long journey ahead, but they had already taken their first steps in the Force. Together.

[Bee Hoon]

Aw, so cute! It's really short though, and now you've made me want to play your Recruitable Kay mod!

[Inyri]

Aand now you've made me want to play your Recruitable Kay mod!

Ha! Victoly!

[Rev7]

Nice story Inyri!

[GodsillY]

Aww that was really amazing, it was very short, but it got the point across and it definatly (I'm sure I spelled that wrong) has my vote. Good work I loved it.

[JediMaster12]

Good cute and short piece. It was straight to the point regarding two sisters entering into a new world or as Ben Kenobi said, "Taken their first step into a larger world." Very concise and to the point though I would have liked a bit more description as what the girls looked like. I was curious as to whether or not they were twins or one was an older sister etc. Giving that would emphasize the personality of the sisters and whether or not if they are complementary or they are the same make and mold.

 

I like how you introduce Master Zhar whom I always thought was different from the other masters in the game. It would be interesting to see more of how little Kay thought of the Jedi Master in terms of the coloring, maybe a comparison to other Twi'leks she may have seen. What would be even more interesting is to see more of Master Zhar's thoughts when he first meets the sisters. Just a thought to think about should you write a complimentary piece to this one.

 

Grammar is good and so is spelling. There are just some minor issues in regards to naming the different sectors of space. They would be capitalized so instead of outer rim it would be Outer Rim. Again that is a minor technicality. Overall you did a good job.

[Inyri]

Giving that would emphasize the personality of the sisters and whether or not if they are complementary or they are the same make and mold.

Well I don't think physical description really says anything about personality. I thought I made it clear through dialogue that, despite them being twins, they are fairly different. I purposely didn't physically describe them because I didn't want it clear they were twins until Zhar mentioned it.

 

You know, Niner told me the sections of space should be capitalized, but I just can't bring myself to do it. I don't say I live in the Mid West after all.