[fic] The Training of Jacen Karr – A Pupil of Vrook Lamarr

[Marius Fett]

We trained together for several weeks, Orin and I. I learnt a great deal from him, and he developed a phenomenal method of teaching. I continued to learn more and more advanced Force techniques and my Lightsaber skills were growing stronger. Around two months after Orin’s arrival in the Enclave, Talk began of me taking the tests that would determine whether or not I was ready to be promoted to the rank of Jedi Knight.

 

Even Vrook couldn’t find much fault with my newly developed powers and techniques. With my Trials nearing, my training with Orin grew more intense, and the lessons progressed to the point where he announced he was willing to start teaching me Pyrokinesis…

 

I was in the Archive Chamber, speaking with Master Dorak about what would be expected of me in the Trials. It was explained that I would have to display knowledge of the Jedi Code. I would have to demonstrate my skill with a Lightsaber, and show my strength in the Force.

 

I had just finised speaking with Dorak, and was about to go and train in the Training Room opposite the Archive Chamber, when Orin walked in.

 

“Jacen, your progress over the last few weeks has been remarkable. You have displayed a great affinity with the Force, and I think it’s finally safe for me to teach you the technique of Pyrokinesis…”

 

My heart began to pound; I had been waiting for this a long time. Ever since I first saw Orin destroy that target in the Training Room, I had been itching to try it out for myself. Here he was offering to teach me…

 

“Really? Wow, ok, when do we start?” I said, grinning broadly.

 

“No time like the present…” Orin replied, turning to leave the room. I followed, walking behind him towards the exit.

 

We left the Enclave, walked across the Courtyard and out onto the plains. I started to walk towards the hill where we normally trained, but Orin stopped me.

 

“No, Jacen. If we are working with fire, it’s too dangerous to work in an area full of dry grass and trees. Especially for a beginner.” I nodded, following him as he walked on.

 

We walked for about ten minutes, when we arrived on the grounds of a man I knew to be called Sandral. We went past his house, over to the entrance of a cave…

 

“What is this place?” I asked, as we walked it.

“You’ve never been brought here?” Orin asked me, as we walked firther and further in.

 

“No.” I answered curious as to what this cave was. I could feel a stong Force Aura there; there was a lot of power there. The power seemed to be emmiting from the heart of the cave; I could feel a massive concentration of power there.

 

“This cave, Jacen, is an extremely important place for the Jedi. It’s where we collect the crystals we put in Lightsabers.”

 

With that, we turned a corner, and I was met with the most beautiful sight I had ever seen. Colossal columns of crystal, blue, green, yellow, purple and red, all colours.

 

The amount of Force energy here was unbelieveable, I felt as though anything were possible here.

 

“Jacen, there are a few reasons why we are training here today. One is because the extra energy in the air will bolster your powers, making it easier for you. After you can perform the technique well enough in here, we will train outside, and you will use your own power alone. Also, in here there is no chance of you starting an inferno. Lastly, Master Dorak has asked me to collect some crystals for him.”

 

I nodded. Walking over to one of the crystal columns. I touched it, feeling huge amouts of energy entering my body.

 

“Right, let’s begin.” Orin said. He reached into a bag he had been carrying at his waist, pulling out a bundle of sticks. He placed them on the floor, setting them alight with a small gesture.

 

“Before you learn to conjure fire, you must learn to control it.” Orin said, gesturing for me to move nearer.

 

“Jacen, this is very similar to Force Lightening, except it requires a lot more power. Focus your emotions as I taught you; draw your power to them. Concentrate on the flame before you. Use the power you have gathered in your head to lift it, remove it from the sticks, and make it levitate in the air. Hold it there!

 

I shut my eyes, doing as I had been instructed. I focused on the Fire before me, willing it to rise into the air. I focused all my power on it, concentrating only on the flames rising.

 

I opened my eyes, raising my arms. I watched in amazement, as the flames burned brighter, and began to rise off the sticks, into the air, forming a ball of fire in front of my eyes.

 

I held it there, not letting it move an inch.

 

“Well done Jacen, now, when you feel ready, try and move the fire, use it to cut a crystal from one of the columns.

 

I waited for about half a minute, gatherng my energies, then I willed the flames to form a tongue of fire, and made them soar across the cavern in which me stood, I directed them towards a column of blue crystals, they hit the crystals at such an angle, that a small piece fell off, hitting the ground with a “chink”.

 

“Nicely done, now try something else. Anything you like. Be creative!” Orin said.

 

I imagined the flames forming the shape of a bird, I held that image in my head, and in my head, focussed all my power on making my will a reality.

 

To my amazement, it worked. The great bird I had imagined soared around the chamber, I had it cut more crystals down, it flew around, before Orin spoke again.

 

“Now, extinguish the fire Jacen. Draw the heat out of it. Let it be no more.”

 

I did as I was bidden, focussing on the flames before me. Willing the heat to leave them, I drew it out, watching as the great bird vanished from sight…

 

I turned to Orin, who was collecting the crystals I had cut.

 

“Looks like you’ve saved me a job here Jacen” He said, smiling at me. “Good job here today, I never thought you’d manage it on the first attempt. Maybe tommorrow I’ll teach you to conjure your own flames!”

 

“Really? Thanks, I would have never learned this much with Master Vrook…”

Orin looked up from the crystals on the ground.

 

“Jacen, it is imperative that you do not practice Pyrokinesis in front of anyone else. Master Vrook believes it is too dangerous for you to be taught.”

 

I nodded, agreeing that I wouldn’t show anyone my new power. Then, as Orin straightened up, putting the last handful of gems into his bag, he suddenly hurled a globe of white-hot flames at me.

 

“What the Force!”

 

I panicked, and instinctively tried to gain control of the fire. Drawing it to me, focussing it in my hand. I managed it. Just. I tried successfully to hurl them back at Orin, they soared towards him, he caught them in his own hand. Extinguishing them as he did so.

 

“Very nicely done.” He said.

 

“What the Force did you do that for!” I shouted. “You could have killed me!”

 

“Jacen, it was a test, nothing more. I would not have done it if I thought you couldn’t handle it.” He said. “Still, I’m sorry if I worried you.

“Ok.” I said accepting his apology.

 

“Meet me on the hill tommorrow at noon.” He said.

 

Just as I began to nod, he used a Force Speed technique to flee the cave, leaving a trail of dust as he went…

 

***********

 

You'll see, Endorenna.

[Darth_Yuthura]

I would have posted earlier had I been able to, but I do have something to say:

 

You have an interesting plot and an original character, but I think you're rushing the story too quickly. I think that there should be moments where Jacen is inactive and able to get into conversations with others about Vrook. I personally dislike Vrook, but would be very interested in reading a story about one of his students struggling to get through his lessons.

 

Another thing I would recommend is to broaden the horizon of the story. Instead of Jacen actually learning and doing, try more to emphasize the conflicts that come rather than a step-by-step process. Instead of 'training to deflect blaster bolts' try to come up with a fighting style name. This would show how broad Jedi training can be.

 

I think your story has potential, but I think you should focus more on the conflicts that come from training with Vrook. And slow down the story progression and allow the characters to interact like friends now and again. I rather like the small conflicts that come from everyday life.

 

I hope this is taken as constructive criticism because I like your idea, but the advice was simply in regards to what I like in a story. I may be wrong.

[Marius Fett]

^Thanks for the advice Darth.

 

I'll most definitely try and do as you suggested.

 

Great to see you back in action.

[Marius Fett]

Ok, since a few people have asked me when the next chapter is coming, i've decided to just post it here to save time in PMing.

 

The Fic will have to wait for a while, as I have a load of courework to do for school.

I have an essay to write, a music exam to practice and revise for, a chemistry test, a biology test as well as a few other smaller homework assignments to do, all for this month.

 

I should be back on track by the end of November, or early December at the latest as long as I don't get another load dumped on me.