[fic] Women

[Kado Sunrider]

Women

 

 

 

It all began with subtle transitions. Canderous, usually content to lounge in the main hold and take naps in his armor, now spent all of his free time sleeping in the male dormitories.

 

Mical had given up his sanctuary in the Medical Bay to tinker with his lightsaber in the male dormitories as well.

 

Bao'dur had managed to find something wrong with the weapons power conduit that ran through the male dormitories, and was now spending days on end tinkering with a problem that would have taken even the least talented mechanic about ten minutes to fix.

 

Visas had taken to wandering the ship, sitting down to meditate in random places before getting up and moving to a new location again every ten minutes.

 

Kreia, cryptic old bat that she was, had locked the starboard dormitories and wasn't allowing anyone in, telling anyone who came near the door to "Be Silent." or in Atton's case, "Leave, Fool, before I find a better use for you than piloting the ship."

 

The Handmaiden was still in the Cargo Hold, training away, though she seemed to be moving slower in her routine than usual, as well as taking multiple breaks when she usually trained all day.

 

Even the droids found an excuse to make themselves scarce. G0-T0 discovered that he had a mechanical aptitude and was helping T3-M4 do spot repairs on the hyperdrive, while HK-47 shut himself down in the swoop bay.

 

Mira had decided to set to work on her aim, propping up a piece of durasteel against the wall of the small room off the main hold and firing her blaster at it, cringing after every shot.

 

Atton leaned back in the pilots chair and stretched. It had sure been an odd couple days. Arianna had been avoiding him, well more than usual anyways. She hadn't stopped by for a game of Pazaak since all this weirdness had started. He headed back through on his way through the ship to the cargo bay, but was interrupted by Arriana, who stepped out of the security room and slipped a hand around Atton's waist, walking along next to him into the main hold.

 

"Hey handsome," she said.

 

"Uhh... hey yourself, beautiful. I'm just heading back to the cargo hold to grab myself a snack..." he slipped out of her hold and walked quickly past the medical bay, past Visas who was sitting in the passage to the swoop bay in a meditative stance and into the Cargo Bay.

 

"Hey Brianna, I'm just her-" a fist flew out of nowhere and connected with Atton's gut. "Oww-" another fist, this time to the right side of his face "Hey-" She dropped into a crouch "Stop Th-" She whirled around, catching both Atton's legs and sending him crashing to the deck. "That." he said with a slight groan.

 

"I'm sorry Atton, I don't know what came over me." she said, blushing slightly. A wordy retort that included such profanities as "schutta" sprang to Atton's tongue but he caught it just in time and managed to smile. "Don't worry about it," he managed to say as he stood gingerly touching his wounded stomach. "At least you didn't connect a little lower."

 

Atton quickly snatched up his food supplies, tried fruitlessly to find a jug of juma and headed back towards the cockpit. What was going on? Why was every woman on board suddenly crazy? Raised voices from the main hold encouraged him to run the short distance into the light of the planetary display, at which point, he dropped what he was holding and stared dumbfounded. Mira grabbed Arriana around the waste and threw her to the ground, where the they started rolling around, screaming, throwing punches and scratching each other's faces.

 

"He's mine! Leave him alone, you Schutta!"

 

"What? Atton doesn't love you! He loves me!"

 

Not that this wasn't one of Atton's personal fantasies, but the fighting was a little more rough than in his daydreams, and the screaming was getting to his head. He managed to walk backwards slowly into the passage, before turning left and sprinting into the now mercifully Visas-free corridor, through the bay and into the male dormitories where he stopped at the bulkhead, panting.

 

"What is going on?! Every woman on board has gone crazy!" he said loudly. Mical, sitting on one of the bunks and tinkering with his lightsaber looked up at Atton and chuckled. Bao'dur, who had previously been working on the electrical was now ingesting copious amounts of Juma alongside Canderous, who seemed to have taken his helmet off for the occasion to drink. Canderous was telling some old war-story and dictating with his hands while Bao'dur complained loudly that the Mandalorian had it wrong, and that the Republic had won the battle.

 

"Medical knowledge dictates that the feminine members of our crew are experiencing Pre-Menstrual Syndrome." Mical said in his usual know-it-all-doctor tone.

 

"All at the same time?" Atton asked in disbelief.

 

Mical nodded, "Women, it seems, have the amazing ability to synchronize, most intriguing."

 

"Canderous, hit me with a bottle of Juma." Atton said, still staring incredulously at Mical.

 

The bottle flew across the room and nailed Atton in his already sore gut, who doubled over in pain.

 

"Not what I meant." he said in a pained voice.

 

Atton scooped up the bottle and sat down next to Bao'dur.

 

"Well boys! It looks like we're in for the long haul. To the women we follow and to their eventual return to sanity!" said Canderous with only minor speech slurring.

 

"I'll drink to that," Atton and Bao'dur said in tune as they raised their jugs to meet the Mandalore's.

 

"All of your mugs are empty." said a female voice from the doorway.

 

Every head in the dormitory snapped to the direction of the voice to see Arriana glowering at them.

 

"Oh frakk." Atton mumbled.

[machievelli]

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[Hawkstrong16]

Oh this is a great story!

 

Living with 3 sisters I understand way more then I want to about this. That and when my girlfriend went to collage I thought I was a goner for sure when I went to visit!

 

Keep up the good work!

[Trench]

That was hilarious! Especially when Canderous "hit" Atton with a bottle of juma.

I'm hoping you put up a new chapter soon.