[fic] Star Wars Kotor: Revan´s Diary

[Queen of Night]

This text has exestiert slightly longer from me in Germany and I want it to be presented to you in English. I hope you have some fun with this story.

 

This is perhaps not the best thing I've produced but I will anyway once you give it a chance to read. Feedback would be nice. (Queen of the Night)

 

 

New Time/Jedi-Tempel

A young Jedi Knight took the datapad in hand and wanted to catalog it for the new archive. They came by accident to the Activation Button and before their eyes turned up an amazing text. The young Jedi began to read and forget everything around you.

 

Revan's Diary (about 4,000 years ago / Star Forge)

 

Here I am, and have defeated Malak, my former students has lost against me. Now I have my title and the throne. Pity about Malak's talent, I'm only sorry that I killed, but not anymore. Only one stands in my way and that Bastila. It is like Malak eventually get the opportunity and try to kill me. But this time I'm the first. She just comes to me, tells me that we have achieved some success against the Republican ship. She knows nothing of her death. I'm quick with the lightsaber and kill them with a single blow. More blood, which clings to my hands, but that is no longer important. I go to the hangar and when the door opens, someone stands in front of me which I never expected to see. My heart leaps but my mind is cold. He has had his chance in the Star Blacksmith planet, as he has to join with me and they lost. He talks to me, his voice I have so missed. He asks me to listen to him. He is unarmed, in front of me and I remember how I could kill him. It is a unique opportunity for me and yet I hesitate one minute in length, to have the Jedi Knights in his company (which I have noticed only now waiting). They call me to let fall on my lightsaber. The looks of Carth and I meet, I see pain in his eyes. I made soft his eyes and lowers the lightsaber and become carried away, while I turn around again, but he looks at me anymore. He has betrayed me as I have betrayed him. Maybe I've actually earned Carth's betrayal, who knows? We leave the star forge with a small space. The Ebon Hawk to follow us, behind us will destroy the Star Forge.

 

Warship of the Republic

I'll put on this warship and energy put into a special cage. They designed it so that you can not break out Forcepower, even if he wanted. But they had indeed had not yet done with me. I'm going to escape, simply waits. I sit here for hours and wait, but then comes my chance. Just as they want to move me from this war ship in the Coruscant special prison I can escape, because watching these fools not easy. I can escape quickly and quietly, and in the meantime tame me when I fled with my black coat.

Now, nearly three months have passed and I am restless and aimless journey through the galaxy, because I'm so full of grief and I do not even know why.

 

Telos

I am on the newly formed Citadel Station on Telos. Carth's home world, which was laid by Admiral Karath to rubble and ashes. Only recently has tried to re-colonize Telos with plants and so on. Here on the space station, I feel calm and relaxed a bit. Lt. Grenn, the head of the station, has kindly provided me an apartment available. Tame I'm still with my black cloak and Grenn do not know who I am. It would be better that way, otherwise I would quickly back into a prison or worse. Grenn looked at me during our conversation so funny, as if he felt the darkness in me. But that can not be, he is not machtsensitiv. I walk through the station as usual and suddenly feel that someone is here, someone from my past. But I have all killed. They're after me and I can fly with my little spaceship on the surface of Telos. In the redevelopment area weather is beautiful, but I can not enjoy now. So I run along the beach and feel the death, but I have not caused this death. It's especially a woman who cries in the power of redemption, but I can not help her now, when the two officers have found me. One of them has served the dark like me before turning to the light. I use the power and paralyze the two without looking at it and flee. The killing makes me no fun anymore. I fly across the Galaxy, and then land on Taris.

 

Taris

This planet was once again redesigned and rebuilt the city, it now resembles more of Coruscant. Here on Taris, I was still happy when I did not know that I was Revan. I have withdrawn into our then hiding and try the old indifference and icy cold, which I then distinguished in the wars get back on but it just does not work. I wander through the upper town and remained standing in places where I have spoken with him often quarreled, quarreling, or simply for fun. Perhaps these memories and feelings that I feel the process of error but what I did as Revan are not forgotten and I can not change it. I often think of him and wonder: Where is he now? What he is doing? Or did he even found a new love? I would be delighted for him, even though it would break my heart. What are the only feelings? I do not know her from me, then I've killed everyone and everything and nothing felt here and now makes the name of a man in me such a feeling of chaos. Bad. Now I am in my hiding place and look in the mirror. I see a beautiful face, snow-white skin, black hair and black eyes.

But I bring people to veil particularly men, misfortune, so I back my beauty, and leave the apartment. And just in time for the two officers who found me, but they are not fast enough and I escape from them again. I understand that somehow not. Why am I being persecuted by them? I have done nothing to them. That is why I choose my next goal just like that, and each plan.

 

Manaan

This planet is still beautiful, fortunately, has been exiled after the defeat of the Sith in the Star Forge from here. I do not think I could bear the sight. Even then, I went against the grain of their presence. Here, on Manaan, I feel calm. I often stand at the railing and look over the sea. If he were still here with me, but I have betrayed him, and old feelings I should not warm up easily. I go back to the hotel where I've helped a long time ago Jolee's friend Sunry and proved his innocence. Again the past, they will not let me alone. Similarly, two names come to mind: Jolee and Juhani killed on the Temple roof of the Star Blacksmith planet. Both thought that I could Bastila's attempt to draw me to the dark side to resist, but I could not. Even as Malak on the Leviathan revealed to me who I really was, I felt that all was in its proper place. I seized the opportunity offered to me and Bastila killed together with her Jolee and Juhani. Now it did not matter because I have lost everything and gained nothing. I just stood again to another ledge and stare into the sea when I feel something. I turn around and see only briefly, the two pursuing me for Telos. I start running, jumping over benches (which is pretty hard if you like me long, black dress carries) and lost my chain. I can not now stop to pick it up. I put in a very fast sprint and run through the gears, I'll make it just in time to start with my ship and jump on Manaan immediately into the hyperspace. I just do not understand it. Why am I being persecuted, or what I have done to them? If they are bounty hunters? No, as far as I've seen them wearing uniforms of the Republic. One of them is a senior officer, the other a captain. Perhaps it drives personal revenge or the Republic has still not given up. It simply can not go on, I need a safe hiding place.

 

Kashyyyk

The Wookie grant me the privilege and leave me in the shadow land. They probably think that I had suicidal tendencies, which I do not really cherish. If the Wookie would know that I then Zaalbar killed with pleasure, they would chase me instead and kill like a wild animal. Maybe I deserved this death but also with every second I expiate my actions. Zaalbars father is still king, and did not recognize me, but he felt as it is to adopt some animals that I carry a great sadness in me and gave me so this privilege. But now I'm here in the forest that is as dark as my heart. In Jolee's hut I am taking before entering the gray land and to give at least two people in the death of their repose. This knowledge is only known to the Sith, but if it also possess the Jedi, they do not use it. Now at last I stand here in the gray country, go to the land where all those ghosts / spirits that have not been met are recorded in the lives of anyone (eg memory) or its role. I think about it if I could call and then come to me two names. I call out these two names in the Gräue and wait. My reputation reverberates through space and time. Just when I think that the two do not want to come and go, appear the two. The little cheeky Mission Vao, who had believed in me down to last and Zaalbar that I had killed, despite his vow of life. I have to fight back the tears and hear appeals to me like Mission: "Why are you calling us?" "I am calling you because I want to help you. You shall forever burn in the realm of the dead." "You can not help us, only those that kill us, can do so. But I do not think they will come." Zaalbar but I recognize something and says, "But she's here. I hope you regret what you did. I have followed thee, because thou hast saved my life and through you we're dead." Mission looks confused both of us, of course late and then says: "I knew it. You were not to succumb entirely to the dark side." I will answer Zaalbar's question: "Me, I'm sorry what I did. I do penance every day, but at least you shall have your rest. To Accept this gift. I myself will accompany you to the gate." Both follow me. Soon we reached the gate and Zaalbar goes without saying a word the first through the guarded gate to Hades. I can understand his reaction. Mission hugged me one last time and said softly to me: "Do not give up, he will forgive you." Then she also goes through and I find myself back in my body. What does mission with their sentence and who said they mean? I just do not know and I do not care, it does not help me any more anyway. After three weeks rest, I will once again tracked down by two. But this time I do not run, but use my power to disappear and reappear at the top of the landing platform again. I climb into my spaceship and leave the planet. Now I've tricked them. I'm thinking to travel to Dantooine, but after a short deliberation, I do not. The destroyed Jedi enclave is so full of memories that I would not tolerate. When I fly past the planet, I feel that some Jedi Master survived the attack by Malak have. The Council has played a very clever game and there were victims: Bastila, me and all who supported us.

 

Unknow Planet

I stand here, where I have disappointed him. I can not forget my treachery, his gaze is that I am still in my heart. When I returned with Bastila, and he realized that I had betrayed him. I, the woman he loved and for which he would have done anything. The woman for whom he had even forgotten the betrayal of a former ally. Had once again turned to the dark side and laid claim to its title. We had previously spoken about my life as Revan and he wanted to start a new life, but now he felt only hatred for me. And he is still suspicious towards everyone. I understand it. I look up and see the sky a space glider. You have found me again, so I hurry and start by moment, as they land straight.

 

Korriban

Since I can end up in Dreshdae not, I landed my room in the Valley of Dark Lords. I walk slowly through the valley and up to the College, and notice the meantime, here something that has been destroyed, but by whom I do not know. I know that I have time to run Yuthura that it can not therefore have been. The academy, however, is still quite empty. The darkness and evil is still there and not lost. I sit in the lobby of the Academy and meditate. I have decided not to run away during my flight, if they want to kill me, I will not defend myself. Maybe I'll see Carth in the next life again and I hope that we will get a second chance. But first I will release two more souls, so I go for the second time in the gray country. Here I call to Jolee and Juhani. Both appear almost immediately, despite my disguise recognizes me Jolee. Both Jedi forgive me, because they feel as much as I do not regret anything. They pass through the gate and the two together are gone. I return to my body, it's tough to stay there. Then just minutes later tooth appears one of the officers, where the other is I do not know. I know him from somewhere, but I do not know where. I do not care, but he is known to me occur. He threatened me nichtm but he has the stun cuffs while I tell him that he does not need it because I volunteered to come along.

 

Republican Ship

Now I sit again in this energy cell, but I will not run away too long I've been running away from my past. But this is about the end and I expect my fate, whatever it may be. They told me at least left my black coat, so I can hide under it and then hide who I really am. I feel that someone is standing outside and do not know what to do, but one of the two officers who have hunted me halfway across the galaxy, enters. "Do you know who I am?" I have been contacted by him. I look up and see a boyish face, it looks familiar to me, but who he is, I still do not know. "No, because I do not care who you are," I reply. But he does something very unusual, because he turns around and looks at someone I do not see, then looks back at me and says, "I am Dustil Onasi." Now I remember again as if it were yesterday. I had this bitter boys, along with his father helped to build a new life and turn away from the path of the Sith. Since I have not even guessed who I really was. Dustil I reply: "I'm sorry, the name tells me nothing." I want to remind me never again to my past, and especially the name Onasi causes me mental pain. It breaks my heart when I think of Carth, but I can not see him much thought since, otherwise I do not know how I will react. Now he asks me my name and continue to ignore my freezing cold, which I have deliberately created. And I answer him: "names mean power, you definitely need to know." He looks surprised and asks: "How did you hear this sentence?" "Long ago I once was a student at the Sith Academy on Korriban like you." Then he says something in the ancient language of the Sith. (He has seen my tattoos on my hand on it where it says: "I am the darkness where no light shines." And "My life I lost and was born again." I got these tattoos as the Sith Lord Revan. They disappeared but when I got through the Jedi Council, a memorial laundry and light was. It was only when I saw my throne and the title and I had reconnected the dark side, it reappeared.) then asked me whether I knew this chain, I had foolishly lost on Manaan. I lied to him and say "no." He looks at me knowingly and said: "It belonged to a woman named Ashara." My alter ego, how long has it been since I've heard that name. Even the memories of the chain to come back. Carth gave it to me when we were just on Manaan and searched for the card. This necklace was a birthday gift, and maybe more. No, I do not. I do not remember. When was the last stop? I can not stand those memories anymore. I try to repress these memories and my icy cold: "I killed it." "Why?" "That's my business." My explanation enough for him, he goes and leaves me alone, finally. I welcome this very much.

 

Two days later, someone shows up, because I have expected at least. I hope that he recognizes me. As the well? He stands in front of my cell, I can feel his sadness, despair and sense of duty. He spoke not a word, but he tries to find out who's under that coat. But he did not find out and goes away without a word said to have told. Oh, Carth how much I miss you, but it should not be too much I have put your life together, and betrayed you. I breathe deeply and make up my mind to go back in to the gray land and someone else to redeem them and that Bastila. I now stand here and call for Bastila Shan. It comes and recognizes me. Forgive it me? Bastila was like I was a victim of the Jedi Council, and we both have lost. Bastila hugged me and forgives. You know that was her death, the only logical choice, and so they, too, is allowed through the gate. Previously, she said to me: "Love is still in him and he eats so much about you." Almost the same words as she had also used the mission. Now I understand what they meant both, but I do not think he took me to this huge betrayal, which I had instigated, nor love, or would forgive, but I hurt him very much.

 

It's almost gone a week and I am treated well. Even Carth comes to visit me again. His voice, I miss her so much, sounds controlled to discern any feelings. It does not sounds like the Ebon Hawk, as he had offered me with a happy voice, a future with him, a life full of love. Now he is probably just hate on me or Revan, I guess. "Why did you kill Ashara?" First, I will not answer, but he deserves an answer and so I say: "I have killed them in revenge." The only logical response of a Sith. Now he wants to know why I killed her in revenge. My voice is really cold, "Why do you want to know?" Let me alone or kill me. " He goes out with sad steps. My life is in his hand. It was not until he had saved my life on Taris, then I reciprocated many times. And two times I gave him his life even though I would have killed him. I wish he would give me death, so I need to feel those feelings anymore.

 

Then I'll let out my energy cells and I wonder why? What did they do? The why is revealed in the conference room. Carth, now Admiral of the Republic, stands at the window looking at the stars. I sit in one of the chairs and wait what happens. He tells me that the Republic needs my help. I begin to laugh, I can not help and you never stop. He turns around and shoots me dirty looks. If he knew that I would be Revan. I do not believe that the Republic would ask for my help. I finally get my laughter in touch and ask, "Why did the Republic need my help?" This from a Sith? " He begins to explain to me that there are worrying signs, and the Sith would return back again. And since then, Revan had gone, I was the only choice. For that I would get back my freedom and that he would be responsible for myself. So, what before? I must control myself again to not fall again into a fit of laughter too. I see his sad face as he waits for a response on my part. I love him so much and can not see it when he suffers. So I get up, go to him and my "I'll give you a unique gift." He looks at me quizzically, but I sit on the cold floor in the cross-legged and he told me to do. I tell him that he should close his eyes and put all the disturbing thoughts aside, he does so without calling into question the statement. Perhaps he thinks that I will bring it to my age Egon Ashara but that's not it. We are in the gray country and he asks me where we are and I tell him. Then I tell him that he should call for his wife, this was my gift. He does so and calls for Marisela Onasi. We stand here a long time and then they appear: A blond wunderhübsche, long-haired woman with green eyes. Now I see it, for it was she who had called on Telos for redemption, they will now get. Marisela Had I met in real life I might have become jealous, but now? No, for me there is no happiness and no feeling. Marisela recognize Carth. They hug and lead a long talk, I do not know what they were talking, I stood far away to give them a little privacy. When we then, after the end of the conversation escorted to the gate, I heard her say: "Women find the one you love. Reconcile with her and give her a chance." He looks sad as Marisela goes through the gate, but that's their job finally fulfilled. When we are back in our bodies, thanks Carth with me.

 

Coruscant

I have pledged my support of the Republic, but they still did not say what my name is. About a month later, my feelings, I can not stand it anymore, they almost overwhelm me. That can only come if he kept here in my district senator, has what you kindly made available, and is talking with me about different things. But usually I go with him as he has done on ships. I think about it for me after all this time to reveal at last who I really am. If he hates me after this revelation, I know not, and will continue probably die from a broken heart.

 

It is evening and I stand on the balcony and enjoy the sunset on Coruscant. I can feel how he goes through the reception area and will stand behind me. Now the time has come, and I take off my hood and turn around. And what makes Carth? He looks at me with such a knowing look and a happy face on that long since I have not seen before. This now makes me suspicious, however. He looks at me as if he had known who was hiding under the cloak. Nothing is said between us, between us two words are not necessary. I was tricked again, because when I think every time that I'm smarter, everything is crossed. In this case, I'm kind of glad, because I have Carth again. We voted and we forgave each other. I asked him how he knew that I am. His answer surprised me actually, because I had betrayed myself. Died and I knew by whom his wife was and he has also felt somehow that he knew me. I know that he is indeed a person by the power exists but is dormant, and thus behaves is his son machtsensitiv. Dustil is glad that his father's love is found and treated me like a sister.

But both do not know that I can not stay, so I'm going away for just under a half years, not without leaving a message to Carth. Only T3 and HK-47 will accompany me. I have asked Carth why he aims to strengthen the Republic and would like to wait. I think a personal farewell would been very difficult for both of us and it could end in tears. Perhaps we will meet again sometime but I do not believe it.

 

New Jedi Time / Archive

The Jedi Knight wiped the tears from her eyes as she put away the datapad. This story was so romantic, and also showed that the evil once more to decide to. The Jedi Knight decided that only the highest datapad Jedi masters should be accessible.

 

The story of Revan and Carth, however, was only a legend.

 

End

[Tysyacha]

Queen of Night,

 

You have done something amazing here, which I am not even brave enough to do: post a story in a language that is not my native one. You have some brilliant descriptions here. I especially liked "his voice I have so missed" and "I have lost everything and gained nothing." I've often felt like that myself. Please keep writing more stories, and if you want me to beta-read, I will! Welcome to the CEC, and your mods are awesome!

[machievelli]

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