[fic] Khem loves Killiks

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((After playing the Old Republic I found myself thinking...I should do something funny with my favorite Shadow Killer and write a funny story based off him.

 

- Killiks are particularly delicious – Khem Val))

 

((I had this posted on Fanfiction.net but I thought I'd post it here as well.))

 

"Hey Khem...Khem are you awake?"

 

Khem Val was wrenched from a restful sleep to find a pair of blue eyes staring up at him. The Dashade assassin muttered something under his breath. He had been having a wonderful dream, he had been standing at an all you could eat Killik buffet with many different kinds of sauces. He had been about to pick up a roasted Killik leg when the little sith had woken him up.

 

Killiks are delicious. He thought to himself as he looked down at the slave turned sith whom he had been forced to serve. He didn't like her at all. His former master Tulak Hord...now that was a man who knew how to wage a war and scare the living daylights out of all of his opponents. This...This little sith was one who did not follow the dark side of the force. No...this one believed in mercy and compassion and would often refuse to kill her opponents.

 

I miss the good old days with Hord. At least I could three square meals a day with him. The Dashade thought sadly as he remembered the hundreds of jedi he had devoured back in those wonderful war filled days. Now all he was able to do was wait on the ship until his unworthy master requested his unique services when she ran into something the others could not handle.

 

I'm hungry. He thought to himself as he contemplated for just a moment sneaking off the ship and grabbing a bite to eat. He rejected the idea after a moment of consideration. They had recently landed on a space station and he knew from experience that the food aboard space stations tasted horrible in his opinion. None of it had ever been alive and kicking.

 

He stared down at the little sith staring up at him for a moment before speaking. "What do you want?" he demanded in his Dashade language. He knew how to speak basic but he liked to try and make life difficult for his master.

 

Nyavros smiled sweetly up at him. "No need to be rude Khem, I just thought that I'd let you know that we've just arrived on Alderaan."

 

Alderaan...Khem thought distantly for a moments before the realization hit him.

 

Killiks...Alderaan is full of Killiks!

 

"You told me we were going to Vaiken spacedock to get the ship refitted." He muttered. "Why have you told me this? Do you wish to taunt me by holding my favorite meal just beyond my reach?" A single tear appeared in the Dashade's eyes as he thought of the planet full of the tasty Killiks that were just beyond his reach.

 

Nyavros shook her head and smiled. "No Khem, I've been thinking...you haven't been off the ship for quite awhile and I know your hungry. Now, I know that you aren't a big fan of the food we have aboard and I've heard you talking in your sleep about...well...how tasty Killiks are."

 

Is it possible?! I hope she says what I think she's going to say!

 

"I've felt bad about keeping you cooped up here so I decided to stop over on Alderaan for a few days, I have a few things to take care of anyway. As far as I'm concerned, your free to eat as many Killiks as you wish."

 

Khem let out a roar of joy that nearly shook the ship itself and ran towards the ramp. As soon as he was down on the surface he inhaled deeply and caught the scent of what seemed to be a nest of Killiks. Khem ignored the stares that he was getting from the citizens as he headed out into the forest.

 

Roast Killiks...barbequed Killiks...Killiks dipped in honey...The possibilities are endless! The Dashade thought joyfully as he finally arrived at an overlook. Tears of joy began to flow from his eyes as he saw his favorite meal.

 

Killiks...look at them...as far as the eyes can see...He thought as he pulled his vibrosword off his back and nearly skipped down the hill as he selected what looked like a very juicy Killik.

 

Dinner time! He thought happily as he took a running start and jumped up into the air and brought his sword down on the unsuspecting Killik.

 

The following entry of this story has been retracted as the Author does not wish to give anyone nightmares or offend any one who likes Killiks. Needless to say, The Killik population has gone down quite a bit in the two days since he has arrived. We now return you to our story.

 

Two days later.

Alderaan docking bays

 

Khem Val whistled cheerfully as he headed back towards the Little Sith's ship. He had two massive bags slung over each shoulder. Each of them was filled with Killik legs and various other parts of the Killiks. His mind wandered for a moment as he thought back to wiping out at least three Killik hives as he had sated his hunger.

 

The Dashade felt full for the first time in quite awhile and as a result he was in a good mood as he walked up the ramp. Nyavros smiled as she saw him walk aboard. "Hey Khem, How did your feast go? Are you feeling full?"

 

Khem patted his stomach and nodded. "It was very productive. I brought some leftovers with me for when I get hungry again. I will be storing them in my quarters."

 

"Sounds good Khem. Let me know if you need anything else. Oh, and House Thul sends it's thanks for reducing the Killik population. They said they'll let you know if they need your unique talents again."

 

Khem whistled cheerfully and nodded as he headed back into his cabin, but before he arrived, he stopped in the gallery and picked up a bottle of BBQ sauce.

[machievelli]

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[JasraLantill]

hahahaha! Great little story! Khem smiling, skipping, being cheerful? hahahaha! Besides, I hate the bugs in the game. Hate the sound they make, hate looking at them, and particularly hate those little squirmy larvae ones spitting at me. So Khem Val planning to play chef on the ship with killiks? Excellent idea!

 

I wonder if they taste like chicken.