Guest Lord Tirion Posted November 12, 2001 Share Posted November 12, 2001 Jerry: Hello ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to our show! Today we have here a few gentlemen from the Official Star Wars Galactic Battlegrounds Forum! Crowd cheers with a few boos coming from the back. Jerry Springer: Fooking Star Craft Fans! Anyway, today we are fortunate to have with us, Porkins "The Porkster", Fergie, Rhett (who is wearing a large Dr. Seuss hat), and some other forummers who have come here on behalf of Porkins and Fergie. It seems it all started out with Porkins possibly being the first ever person to obtain an official copy of Galactic Battlegrounds! Crowd cheers with one loud boisterous person standing up and giving Porkins the finger. Porkins gets up and throws a chair at the person knocking him out cold. Porkins: Haha! I owned joo noob! Jerry Springer goes over to his staff and orders one of his enforcers to grab another chair for Porkins. Jerry Springer: Ok, lets start with you Porkins. Tell us what happened on the forum the day you received Galactic Battlegrounds in the mail. Porkins: First off, hi everybody! Porkins waves to the crowd. Person from the crowd: Shut the fook up and tell us what happend! Damn noobs... Porkins throws his chair and scores another hit as his friend Tirion ducks out of the way as it nearly hit him as well. Tirion: Dont make me pk your arse! Porkins: Sorry dewd. Jerry Springer once again orders another chair to be brought to "The Porkster". Porkins: As I was saying, I posted a message informing the community that I had just received SWGB and was about to play it. But I got so excited, I forgot to mention it was the official game, and not the demo. Then this numbnut over here *points to Fergie* gave me an altermatum because my post was vague. Crowd boos with vulgar language being spewed. Boba Rhett: You! *pointing to a spectater who cursed* That wil be enough of that mister! I kid you not! Next time I will give you a warning! Tirion: *pointing at the dewd Rhett just yelled at* Haha! Mr. Hat yelled at you! Jerry Springer walks over to Fergie. JS: What is your side of the story Fergie? Fergie: Well, you see sir, I am a new mod at this roxxoring forum. And I thought the post meant the demo. My duty is to make sure no spam is on the forum. JS: Excuse me for not knowing, but how does spam get on a computer screen? Isnt it in the can? Fergie: No you dork! Spam is when somebody posts irrelevant rederick on subjects that do not pertain to a subject that is warrented on our forum. Isthisfor_real stands up and gives Fergie the finger. "You moolie! That was not spam!" Fergie immediately throws his chair. Again, Tirion is forced to hit the deck as yet another chair goes sailing over his head. A loud crunch and crack is heard. The crowd cheers as Isthisfor_real is lying on the ground. Fergie: Ha! I like to see you respawn from that! By the way.. HAHA! I owned joo noob! Once again, our humble host Jerry Springer orders yet another chair from the infinite warehouse of chairs with signs on them that read: 'Any end up. Who are we kidding? This chair will be thrown anyway.' Rhett: Thats right Mr. Springer. I am a veteran mod here and I stand by my young apprentice. Extremely pissed off at this, Porkins races out of his chair and draws out his hidden double lightsaber and ignites them. The crowed looks around in amazement as "Duel of the Fates" mysteriously breaks out from the studio's speakers. Fergie and Rhett draw out yet more hidden sabers and ignite them. A climatic duel ensues. Rhett: The spam is with you Porkins! But you are not a flooder yet! Porkins: I'll never spam you! Fergie: Rhett never told you who the true spammer was! Porkins: He told me enough! He told me in a PM that you spammed me! Fergie: No, I am your spammer! The fight heads down to the audience where innocent bystanders are killed all the while the occasional "haha! I owned that noob!" is heard. Jerry Springer's enforces run up and detain Fergie holding him tight. Fergie: No! Dont hold me! Rhett is no match for Porkins alone! Porkins is too uber! Nevertheless, Fergie is detained as Porkins and Rhett clash. With two sudden moves and a headbutt from Porkin's saber handle, Rhett is stunned giving Porkins the time needed to pk him. The saber impales him sending Rhett spasming in a climatic death roll on the floor. Fergie: Noooooo! Porkins is about to confront Fergie who has broken free of the enforcers when he realizes that Rhett is still spasming. Porkins: Damn dewd! Just die! You watched too many cheesy B-Movies with sappy death endings. I pked ur arse with a saber. You are history dewd. Rhett: But.. but.. but.. I wanted an Oscar! Porkins: Sorry dewd. You will have to wait till the sequel. Rhett: Oh man! That ***xors... Rhett throws his feet high up in the air and dies while keeping one eye open to watch the final duel. Fergie uses the force to pick up a chair to hurl at Porkins. Once again, Tirion must duck to avoid the flying chair. Tirion: I got mad evading skills! =P I roxxor! They clash for nearly 5 minutes before Porkins *****slaps Fergie sending him hanging over a nearby balcony. Just as Porkins is about to kill Fergie, Fergie uses his mad Jedi uber skillz to do a fantastic jump. But when he is about to slice Porkins in half, Porkins calls for a time out. Porkins: Time out! WTF is that? What kind of ending is that?? I had you roxxored. This feels like we are in some kind of Star Wars bad movie.. Screw this! I am going home and taking my saber with me. I am never playing here again. Fook you guys. You all ***xors! Fergie: But.. but ... but.. The crowd does not know what to make of it. Extremely pissed, Fergie picks up another chair with the Force. Fergie: Oh no you dont! Nobody escapes this Jedi Jawa! The chair is hurled towars Porkins. Tirion, just having gotten up from the previous chair being chucked in his direction, sees a nearby camera with Jerry Springer tucked safely behind it. Tirion smiles and flexes. Tirion: Respect my authoritie!!! I am so.. *WHACK* Tirion is knocked to the floor with the chair. Fergie: Oops! My bad! Jerry Springer: Fook you guys, im outta here. This is nuts. I am going home to play some SWGB! Crowd cheers as the show draws to an end.. Note from the editor: MAKE UP GUYS AND HAVE FUN!!! SWGB IS GONNA ROXXOR! DONT LET THIS RUIN YOUR FRIENDSHIP! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StephenG Posted November 12, 2001 Share Posted November 12, 2001 you have alot of time on your hands Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lord Tirion Posted November 12, 2001 Share Posted November 12, 2001 If that is all that is on my hands, then I consider myself lucky Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Boba Rhett Posted November 12, 2001 Share Posted November 12, 2001 It's already behind me. 1. You have way to much time on your hands. 2. That was very good. 3. Why am I wearing a Dr. Seuss hat? 4. Are you implying that I'm a softy? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lord Tirion Posted November 12, 2001 Share Posted November 12, 2001 It's already behind me. Good. Just dont let it trip you up from behind now that it is behind you =) 1. You have way to much time on your hands. Better than hair on it... 2. That was very good. Thank you. Lets hope this puts out the fire between those two. 3. Why am I wearing a Dr. Seuss hat? Cuz thats what Mr. Hat wears in South Park 4. Are you implying that I'm a softy? Ill tell you after I play you in SWGB Actually I needed you to take on the roll of Qui-Gon Jinn. You can blame Mr. Lucas for the way he died hehe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarthTenor Posted November 12, 2001 Share Posted November 12, 2001 Hilarious!!!!!! Love the refference to Sout Park! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GB_StormTrooper Posted November 12, 2001 Share Posted November 12, 2001 that was pretty a pretty good skit musta taken awhile:) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darthfergie Posted November 12, 2001 Share Posted November 12, 2001 Tirion!!! You had that pegged...BTW, tell Porkins I'm in Nexsis and I'll see him over there *evil smile is seen on Fergie face* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tie Guy Posted November 12, 2001 Share Posted November 12, 2001 Very interesting... You said you were an author, right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zygomaticus Posted November 12, 2001 Share Posted November 12, 2001 that was hilarious do u think if u write any more plays could i have a role:) i couldnt stop laughing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest dlayers Posted November 12, 2001 Share Posted November 12, 2001 It sounds like at one time, you played a lot of UO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JEDI_MASTA Posted November 13, 2001 Share Posted November 13, 2001 wow tirion a long post in ONE post Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lord Tirion Posted November 13, 2001 Share Posted November 13, 2001 Actually I came across all that in EQ hehe. Might be some errors here and there in it but I did it on a whim and winged it lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hannibalscipio Posted November 13, 2001 Share Posted November 13, 2001 You're briliant, Tirion. Brilliant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lord Tirion Posted November 13, 2001 Share Posted November 13, 2001 Check is in the mail right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EndSub Posted November 13, 2001 Share Posted November 13, 2001 You call it brilliance, I call it to much free time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idiot00001 Posted November 14, 2001 Share Posted November 14, 2001 It was great. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TieDefender75 Posted November 14, 2001 Share Posted November 14, 2001 pure excellance! dont think about putting me in ur plays:p Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FlyBOy Posted November 14, 2001 Share Posted November 14, 2001 you can put me in any day:) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Redwing Posted November 14, 2001 Share Posted November 14, 2001 Okay, I'm sure you're tired of hearing this (too bad =P) but that was fantastic. *standing ovation* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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