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3 years and 5950 posts later...


GUNNER

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Originally posted by Nute Gunray

I would vote for me and I would propell this glorious nation to sacreligious heights of power. As your kind and benevolent dictator, no taxes shall pry the wages from the arms of the worker. Nay, the conquered ex-nation states soon to be at our mercy will provide, as their conquered wealth* shall finance our growing empire. Some candidates for the pathetic office of "President" offer things like 'better education funding' while I am running for "Imperial Sovereign" and promise if command of this nation is peacefully relinquished into my control that there will be two slaves** in every home. Things like a balanced budget will be antiquated. There will be no need for any budget when the governing bodies declare the costs of the services and funding to be arbitrary amounts***.

 

 

* wealthy nations will be conquered first. There may be economic issues once the supply of wealthy, resource rich nations is depeleted.

** No choice over type of slave you receive. Slaves will be doled out on a first come, first serve basis. We are an equal opportunity enslaver; no 'slave discrimination' will occur. We reserve the right to assign highly ironic slaves to their new masters, ie conquered white South Africans to militant Muslim African-American owners, ugly fat slaves to the beautiful people, etc.

*** Arbitrary amounts to be decided by specially trained monkeys and a hat full of slips of paper with numbers written on them. Monkeys may or may not be shot into space in order to do this.

 

 

The funny thing is he just might win...

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