LInKINParkD00D Posted April 18, 2002 Share Posted April 18, 2002 WTF THIS MOVEI IS LOOKIN GHEY DOODZ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pseudonym Posted April 18, 2002 Share Posted April 18, 2002 Well, after Episode One, I'm not as anxious to see it as I was before. But I probably will anyways. And what's up with that horrible name? It sounds like some 1950's horror film. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LessThanJake Posted April 18, 2002 Share Posted April 18, 2002 Anakin and the Princess ...(blablabla)... It's very hard to believe that the pair eventually spawns heroic Han Solo and lovely Princess Liea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RiverWalker Posted April 18, 2002 Share Posted April 18, 2002 lol, and somethingawful/jeffk are just KNOWN for high quality reading material and reviews... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KIRK Posted April 18, 2002 Share Posted April 18, 2002 the reveiwer is an utter tosspot and has clearly never seen it:atat: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NerfYoda Posted April 18, 2002 Share Posted April 18, 2002 You gotta respect the TruthMedia reviews. RESPECT! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BCanr2d2 Posted April 18, 2002 Share Posted April 18, 2002 Lol, and they said that those two spawn HAN SOLO and LEIA? News to me, according to them, then Luke, Leia and Han are all siblings, incestuous family@! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChampionMrSocks Posted April 18, 2002 Share Posted April 18, 2002 More comedy gold from Lowtax and co., though probably not as funny as the inevitable page of poorly worded flamemail we'll be seeing in a couple of days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Con. Snake Posted April 18, 2002 Share Posted April 18, 2002 That guy doesn't know his ass from a sarlac pit. "Professional" "In the industy" comments that Lucas isn't a real film maker and the he(the reviewer) is one, all these comments, and the horrid mistakes he makes (Princess Padme? The Solo crap? Please) right then and there flushes any credibility he had down the toilet with the rest of his brains. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trienco Posted April 18, 2002 Share Posted April 18, 2002 i hope you know that everything on this site is SUPPOSED to be crap, thats why they call it somethingawful. so anybody who didnt get the joke lift his hand now and go to that wall over there *bang* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dakindas Posted April 18, 2002 Share Posted April 18, 2002 Originally posted by KIRK the reveiwer is an utter tosspot and has clearly never seen it:atat: And you have seen it? I've got a feeling this review is a fairly accurate run down of Episode poo . . err. . . i mean Two. i mean seriously, we're not 8 years old anymore, i'm 23. I don't want to have to wince while watching Episode 2. Still i'll go and see it, why? Because it's Star Wars. But if it's not a good film outside of the trademark i won't pretend that it is. (And yeah the Han Solo error in above review is very poor lmao) The original Trilogy is[\i] Star Wars. And thank The Maker that Jedi Outcast is an essentially old school Star Wars game. Now for my short list of Next Gen Star Wars woes: The chemistry between the orignal ensemble was great. The films were humorous and Ford oozed charisma and it obviously rubbed off on those around him (just look at Hamil AHN to ESB and RotJ). This is probably because they werent big stars and most likely hung out together off set quite a bit freaking out about how damn cool this experiment in film making was. They bonded. And the films werent a success just because of the dazzling special effects, they were a success because of the characters and their immersion in the scenes. Now the problem with using big stars in Next Gen. Star Wars is that they probably don't interact outside of the set. They shoot their 4 hours one day and fly off to London/New York/Paris the for the rest of the day. Surrounded by yes-men they really have no clue. They don't take their parts seriously because they're not Star Wars fans, they professional actors trying to score the gig of the year ($$$$) and put on a very post 90's style because at the moment it's trendy. Moden male acting has become merely whoring yourself to 16 year old teen fantasies. Unless you're the villian in which case 16 year old girls must be repulsed by you. I still recall, in my youth, at school etc that Star Wars (ep. 4,5,6) was predominately a guy film. All they boys loved Star Wars, collected the figures etc and the girls loved. . . well something else (except for those few cool girls that didn't like the colour pink lol). Now i'm not being sexist here, i'm stating a valid observation from my childhood to early teens. I can see this all changing. The Dawsons Creek formula in Star Wars? I mean, give me a break! Lucas has sold out, his fans - you guys - know more about his universe (or how it should be - how it retains it's integrity) than he does. We all had to work our heads around the absurd midiclorians (sp) - a bad attempt at gaining scientific merit?? Then. . what about the dead jedi spirit guides (before the midiclorian crap i wouldn't have even begged that question). . . and if the force is genetic, then why not clone Vader? No! The Emperor!! It's a disgraceful additon to Star Wars Cannon which formally had the timelessness and depth that only unfettered mystery brings. I should stop now before this post takes up a forum page. . . Ahhhhh Georgie boy, has the dark side has consumed you at last? Still, Maul was very cool (and the whole film was very sexy). A pitty he had only 1 line and was killed by a (raging) padawan . . . yay. . . Review of Old School Star Wars: 9/10 Review of Next Gen. Star Wars so far: 5/10 (it's not crap but it is a huge dissapointment) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChampionMrSocks Posted April 18, 2002 Share Posted April 18, 2002 Sounds like some of you need a little help with this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kippla Posted April 18, 2002 Share Posted April 18, 2002 I hated ep1, and so far it looks like I'll hate ep2. Considering the original trilogy are my favourite films of all time, this is a complete and total disapointment. I really really wanted to enjoy them, but to me, this sh*t aint starwars. It's hyped up crap to sell cheap toys at McDonalds. Lucas has lost the f**kin plot. Oh and to Dakindas about the actors I totally agree. In ep1 I thought the guy who play Obiwan (Euyin McGregor(sp?))was awesome, until I heard an interview with him where he ripped off a fan who had said "May the force be with you Euyin". He said he thought the guy was an idiot for taking the movie so seriously. The guy doesn't even understand the franchise, and he's playing one of the most loved movie characters of all time. Get the f*ck off my screen. I want an actor who is going to understand that he is filling some big f*ckin shoes. And if he can't respect that, he shouldn't be doing the movie. Lucas should have done this, but alas, he cast jarjar binks... hope has no home here. (and yes I know the review was a joke, this is just my opinion) Oh and I aint all angry. My posts often look that way, but swearing etc is just the way I talk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Canis_Aureus Posted April 18, 2002 Share Posted April 18, 2002 Wow that's nor a review... it's a moronic journey into some guys twisted sense of self importance! While Episode One was basically a trite coming of age story, Episode Two is a love story with little action. The big lesson here is that pre-teens sleeping with older women is A-OK in everybody's book. Is this really the best lesson we want to instill in the hearts of our children? Do you remember a few years ago when a promising young man had sexual relations with his own teacher, resulting in a bouncing baby bounty? Is not Anakin's thrusting at Padme only encouraging this type of behavior? Despicable! This is the worst crap I have ever read. He's just a moron trying to make himself look important. WTF is he talking about... that **** doesn't matter at all???? Anakin and the Princess have no chemistry, which isn't surprising considering the great differences in their age. Was Portman ever investigated on child abuse charges? It's very hard to believe that the pair eventually spawns heroic Han Solo and lovely Princess Liea. This guy should just STFU K THANX! It is LUKE and LEIA who are siblings... not Han Solo. Jesus christ he goes on about this movie like he know everything about acting, star wars and the true mysteries of life.... and yet he's just another fool trying to promote his limited intelligence as something special. As for the rest of this movie… all I can say is that it would have been more aptly titled Attack of the Clowns, as the entire experiment is quite the joke. He mentions intelligence quite a few times and yet his lame jokes lack just that! CP30 and R2D2 make a really bad joke about being robots, but we all know they're robots… why point this out? And they aren't even real robots, just midgets sweating under metal suits. WTF is this... what is he trying to tell us... something important? Basically, ancient wizard Christopher Lee reprises his character from "Lord of The Rings." It's the exact same character with less hair and a different name. Christoper Lee is just too old to be acting and his Darth Tyranus character is a disgrace. Shouldn't he be in a nursing home getting his diaper changed? George Lucas should have spent less time stealing ideas from "Lord of The Rings" and more time on his dialogue. The structure is all wrong. A professional such as myself can recognize this immediately. And to think this is coming from the same people who published "Maniac Mansion," which was a very well-written game! First the joke about Christopher Lee... this guy disgusts me! Then stealing from lord of the rings??? PLEASE DOES HE KNOW NOTHING AT ALL THIS DAMN IDIOT! A professional... wow his professionalism certainly have a hard time shining through in this review.... And I'm an industry insider here, not some fat fanboy with a web page. The purpose of his review is clearly to promote himself.... GIVE ME A BREAK.... all his love for himself makes The Brady Bunch look like a tragedy... PUKE! And as a former science major, I am quite offended by Lucas' use of so-called "future" technology. I know for a fact that "Star Trek's" vision of the space age is far more accurate and plausible. For example, Anakin doesn't use teleporters and instead zips about in land speeders that use impossible amounts of energy for the type of gravitational control one would expect. It's hard to explain to the common man, just trust me here: nearly every type of technology utilized in this movie is utterly ridiculous. WHY does he continue his ramblings? The setting in Star Wars happends to the the setting of Star Wars. Should Lucas have change the Star Wars paradigm just for this idiot? And he goes on with "It's hard to explain to the common man, just trust me here" ... JESUS I have never in my life read such an idiotic statment about something you cannot even argue about. The paradigm of Star Wars was concieved along time ago but he couldn't just change this... then it wouldn't be Star Wars would it???? And his self gloating just makes me sick... since he clearly haven't understood what it is all about... Have he even seen episode IV - VI???? I almost fell asleep three times during the latest episode of Star Wars… and I had just taken a nap! To tell the TRUTH, the entire Star Wars franchise has been ruined by its own fans. If it wasn't for their insane devotion and meddling there wouldn't be a fourth and fifth movie and the original trilogy would have retained its original dignity. Of course, the original trilogy was changed and re-edited several times by Lucas, after the success of doing so with "Willow" went to his head. I almost fell asleep three times during the latest episode of Star Wars… and I had just taken a nap! To tell the TRUTH, the entire Star Wars franchise has been ruined by its own fans. If it wasn't for their insane devotion and meddling there wouldn't be a fourth and fifth movie and the original trilogy would have retained its original dignity. Of course, the original trilogy was changed and re-edited several times by Lucas, after the success of doing so with "Willow" went to his head. I just don't see how LucasArts will be able to justify making a third (sixth?) installment of the doomed series after the sure to be disappointing box office receipts roll in. Has this guy never wondered just why the "original trilogy" is called episode IV - VI????? And for the special edition of IV-VI ... well again he just proves he's a moron! They were actually great! He should just STFU K THANX! His lame jokes does nothing to make his ramblings even remotely amusing. Oh, and be sure to thank them for ruining what was once a perfectly good childhood memory. HOW can this guy have "perfectly good childhood memories"? To continue his own idiotic sense of humor I'd say that his childhood memories would be nothing but his father raping him while screaming "Luke I AM your father" Only that can explain his hate for the Star Wars universe. THIS guy should be thrown away... if he has even had any of the intelligence or professionalism he so fondly talks about while educating the common man... it is clearly long gone in his insane mad ramblings. STFU K THANX! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spacelord Posted April 18, 2002 Share Posted April 18, 2002 Originally posted by Kippla Oh and to Dakindas about the actors I totally agree. In ep1 I thought the guy who play Obiwan (Euyin McGregor(sp?))was awesome, until I heard an interview with him where he ripped off a fan who had said "May the force be with you Euyin". He said he thought the guy was an idiot for taking the movie so seriously. The guy doesn't even understand the franchise, and he's playing one of the most loved movie characters of all time. I would just like to point out that the original Obi-Wan wasn't very happy about Star Wars either, Alec Guiness said that he hated the films and that he made Lucas write him out pretty much of the sequals because he thought the script was lame. So you can say that he keeps up with his caracter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kippla Posted April 18, 2002 Share Posted April 18, 2002 Originally posted by spacelord I would just like to point out that the original Obi-Wan wasn't very happy about Star Wars either, Alec Guiness said that he hated the films and that he made Lucas write him out pretty much of the sequals because he thought the script was lame. So you can say that he keeps up with his caracter. k. Didn't know that. Ah sh*t that sux... I loved guiness Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jedi-Bert Posted April 18, 2002 Share Posted April 18, 2002 Just my 2 cents but the one thing i like about the "new school" star wars is the Lightsaber Fight Coreography (sp?) its cool Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatta Posted April 18, 2002 Share Posted April 18, 2002 Fact is, Ewan McGregor is a big fan of the original Star Wars movies, but is appalled at how serious people take these films, because afterall they're just films, not a second life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silent Wolf Posted April 18, 2002 Share Posted April 18, 2002 some of you people are beyond stupid. Analyzing a JOKE!!! gg newbs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Econ Posted April 18, 2002 Share Posted April 18, 2002 I thought that this guy was Banned... it CSDOOD.. Fkn lame Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alfyboy Posted April 18, 2002 Share Posted April 18, 2002 Originally posted by Pseudonym Well, after Episode One, I'm not as anxious to see it as I was before. But I probably will anyways. And what's up with that horrible name? It sounds like some 1950's horror film. My dear god... It has obviously escaped your attention that titles like 'The Empire Strikes Back' 'The Return of the Jedi' 'The Phantom Menace' and 'Attack of the Clones' are all intended to be cheesy B-Movie style titles. You call yourself a Star Wars fan when you don't even get it... bah! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dakindas Posted April 18, 2002 Share Posted April 18, 2002 Originally posted by spacelord I would just like to point out that the original Obi-Wan wasn't very happy about Star Wars either, Alec Guiness said that he hated the films and that he made Lucas write him out pretty much of the sequals because he thought the script was lame. So you can say that he keeps up with his caracter. That's true but Guinness was a class actor, and although he said "the script was terrible" he still played his part like a gentleman. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trienco Posted April 18, 2002 Share Posted April 18, 2002 Originally posted by Kippla k. Didn't know that. Ah sh*t that sux... I loved guiness hm, so you never heard that he could get really mad if people called him obi wan? if you mentioned that role to him you should have had a helmet on *g* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raith Posted April 18, 2002 Share Posted April 18, 2002 Canis_Aureus... You need to get out more mate, there is life outside Star Wars. SomethingAwful.com is a cool site and anyone with half a brain knows the site contains "Wind Up" material Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhiteChedda Posted April 18, 2002 Share Posted April 18, 2002 Originally posted by RiverWalker lol, and somethingawful/jeffk are just KNOWN for high quality reading material and reviews... I get the feeling we have some "cliffyb is in teh bushes" newbies on our hands, so what the best way to crash course too educate them on somethingawful.com? Hmmm................ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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