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Episode 3 - How it SHOULD be


Fallacy

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Rah i have written teh l33t star wars ep.3 synopsis!!!111

 

Episode 3 – Not by bastardgay george lucas

 

It starts with the star warsy writing thingy coming up the screen ya-de-ya-da. The past few years the clones have been pushing blah blah into submission. The sith have returned to hiding ya-de-ya-da.

 

Pans down onto big star destroyer-like ship chasing a little ship with some vital information about the clones on it ya-de-ya-de-ya-da.

 

Then there’s an X-rated sex scene between Padmé and Anakin and 3 really fit maids, although you never see any of Anakin because… lets be honest, who wants to?

 

Then there’s this big space battle between everyone. And its really cool and stuff

 

Then there’s this huge battle with the remaining 50 jedi and all the clones and all the droids ever built/cloned and dooku. Anakin kills dooku, And all the jedi r teh win!!!11

 

Then anakin goes "screw you dudes, I don’t like jedi – mistar palpatine r0x0rz jedi b0x0rz, I could 0wn j00 all anyday". Little does he realise his standing by a lava pool. Then padme says, im sorry I have to break up with j00 n00b0x lamer padawan. Then Anakin gets so angry that forgets that he’s dumb and he falls into the lava pit. Obi-wan takes the credit for killing the mini-sith bastard gay because Yoda gives cookies to any jedi who kills a sith.

 

Then Mace Windu goes “what the **** you on about mutha ****a!?, he did no such ****. Besides, little white boy aint dead, he’s just got asthma now.”

 

Then Anakin fights all the 50 jedi 1v1 and pwnz them all by being a grip whore, and seeming as most of the jedi are n00bz and cant use absorb they all die.

 

Then Anakin gets to obi wan and is scared because he knows obi is a push whore and a push whore can 0wn a grip whore anyday, so he runs away.

 

Then mace windu has a big fight with 30 of palpatines clones, and my god is he l33t. He says “Bring it on mutha ****a, i could kick your busted white ass anyday”

 

Then palpatine says “you kicked my dog you bastardgay”

 

Then Windu 0wnz all the clones and tehn goes to kill the real one but gets hit by the death stars big lasery thingy, because he walked in front of the test fire.

 

Then Yoda has a big ‘ol fight with palpatine and he 0wnz him and he’s just about to kill him when he realises teh emp0rer can only die in ep. 6 or the story would be TEH LAMEEE!!!!11 So he leaves him alone.

 

Then padme has babies and Obi wan steals them because he’s weird. He puts one under mrs organa’s butt and she thinks she laid leia overnight, and then obi wan gives Luke to the two freaks on tantooine because owen is an impotent homofag who sux0rz and could never have a babeh. Then obi is too lazy to move and stays on tantooine, and Yoda goes to dagobah because it was the party planet before industrial waste turned it into a swamp.

 

Then Padme finds leia and sits around with her until she’s aboot 4.

 

Then teh empire take ovar everythin!!1111

 

 

 

------

 

Now wasnt that teh l33t?

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You missed the most important part at the beginning.

 

After opening crawl, yada,yada (This is what it is from Seinfeld) it MUST then pan to a planet....... Usually down to one, but after AOTC, it could pan up again.......

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Wow...

Then there’s an X-rated sex scene between Padmé and Anakin and 3 really fit maids, although you never see any of Anakin because… lets be honest, who wants to?

 

We could..put a burlap sack over Anikin's head... or... something

 

Now...I read a review of Ep2, that said Lucas had obviously not had any type of relations with any female-ish peoples of the species...so that would mean lots of porno...lots and lots of porno...

 

And that was the first thing I thought when I saw Portman on the big screen at Ep2 "Wow...will he go into detail about that whole..baby thing...please?"

 

Does that make me wierd?

 

-edit- Perhaps it was I who stole their babies, not Obi Won *puts on a Jedi robe* Does this mean I get a cookie?

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I mean...I sleep during the day because it's quiet at night

 

I should probably get a job, but I'd like to avoid that until I'm legally responible for myself... I only have 18 years when I'm not, so why not make the best of them?

 

-edit- And oh yea, summer, so even MORE time....weeeee...

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READ THE ORIGINAL SCREENPLAYS

You will find out how anakin and padme make it:

They are onboard a zero gravity space sation thinking they are going to die, the float around in a locker room making out. gess what hapens next

LUKE AND LEIA!!

Mace Windu and all the jedi do die in a major battle, Anakin uses the force to snap windu's neck, uses force destructon on a bunch of jedi, sabers some and grips them. all because of his poor chickys death!

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*Sigh* I think it's time to lay off the pipe, Fallacy. That's right, and that goes double for the doobs too. Now, cut off the computer. I know it'll hurt, but it's for the best. Go on. That's it, now the power button. Yes, yes...that ass indentation will still be there tomorrow. Wipe the sweat from your brow, the worst is over with. I want you to leave the confines of your parent's basement. That blinding orb of light is called the sun, your eyes will adapt in time-just don't stare it! Head toward the kitchen. Pour yourself a cup of boiled goat's milk- you heard me, pour it to the brim. I'll wait. Done? Fallacy, I want you to rumage through your father's old LP collection. You'll find a tattered album near the middle. Read it carefully: it's Juan and the Deep-Fried Anal Retentives : BEST OF 1967-1978. There's a song on side 2 entitled: "Mari don' live here no more". You've earned a rest, sit back, take a sip, and enjoy the mellow funk/latin/polka/new wave riffs of the greatest band in history.

 

This has been a public service announcement. Juan and the Deep-Fried Anal Retentives are my anti-drug *LOL*

 

ProtocolJedi :D

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Originally posted by JandoFett1842

READ THE ORIGINAL SCREENPLAYS

You will find out how anakin and padme make it:

They are onboard a zero gravity space sation thinking they are going to die, the float around in a locker room making out. gess what hapens next

LUKE AND LEIA!!

Mace Windu and all the jedi do die in a major battle, Anakin uses the force to snap windu's neck, uses force destructon on a bunch of jedi, sabers some and grips them. all because of his poor chickys death!

 

Where can i find those? Tell me now! If you're fooling around i'll.. i'll be really HURT!

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