Complaint

[idiot00001]

There are a number of things I could have chosen to write about in this letter. I could have chosen to write about how we must publicly distance ourselves from deluded, inarticulate weirdos. Or I might have chosen to write something about the way that as rapacious as it might sound, Darth Rommel is incapable of writing a letter without using such phrases as "condescending sluggards", "brainless pop psychologists", "unenlightened prigs", or some combination thereof. But, instead, I've decided to devote this entire letter to explaining how I'm not actually demanding revenge. Although not without overlap and simplification, I plan to identify three primary positions on Darth Rommel's invectives. I acknowledge that I have not accounted for all possible viewpoints within the parameters of these three positions. Nevertheless, Darth Rommel's whinges are destructive. They're morally destructive, socially destructive -- even intellectually destructive. And, as if that weren't enough, Darth Rommel is careless with data, makes all sorts of causal interpretations of things without any real justification, has a way of combining disparate ideas that don't seem to hang together, seems to show a sort of pride in his own biases, gets into all sorts of vexatious speculation, and then makes no effort to test out his speculations -- and that's just the short list! If he continues to raise extortionate demands, I will be obliged to do something about him. And you know me: I never neglect my obligations. And what of it? Darth Rommel's most progressive idea is to tap into the national resurgence of overt revisionism. If that sounds progressive to you, you must be facing the wrong way.

 

As someone who is working hard to give peace a chance, I must point out that we mustn't let Darth Rommel procure explosive devices, gasoline, and detonators for use in an upcoming campaign of terror. That would be like letting the Mafia serve as a new national police force in Italy. Yes, I realize that this is nothing new, but for the sake of brevity I've had to express myself in simplified terms. My goal for this letter was to fight to the end for our ideas and ideals. Know that I have done my best while trying always to reinforce what is best in people. Let an honest history judge.

 

 

This is great.

[Darth Homer]

While Idiot00001 needs no introduction, I do want to state that scrutinizing Idiot00001's bromides may be instructive in this regard. Wait! Before you dismiss me as hotheaded, hear me out. In case you have any doubts, his half-measures are a mere cavil, a mere scarecrow, one of the last shifts of a desperate and dying cause. Why does he want to destroy the values, methods, and goals of traditional humanistic study? Psychologists might suggest that he enjoys the sense of control that comes from forcing someone else to do things the way he wants them done. Counselors might think that letting duplicitous, appalling low-lifes thrust all of us into scenarios rife with personal animosities and petty resentments is unthinkable. Sociologists might point out that he has been working overtime to sue people at random. I agree with the above assessments, but Idiot00001's lieutenants have been arrested in numerous murders, violent assaults, and bank robberies across the nation. I've said that before and I've said it often, but perhaps I haven't been concrete enough or specific enough, so now I'll try to remedy those shortcomings. I'll try to be a lot more specific and concrete when I explain that if I said that society is supposed to be lenient towards subhuman mountebanks, I'd be a liar. But I'd be being utterly honest if I said that ignorance is bliss. This may be why his subordinates are generally all smiles.

 

In general, the surest way for Idiot00001's representatives to succeed is for them to bombard us with an endless array of hate literature. Sure, there are exceptions, but if you've read any of the ignominious, brazen slop that he has concocted, you'll surely recall his description of his plan to put a yellow-bellied, self-righteous spin on important issues. If you haven't read any of it, well, all you really need to know is that the question that's on everyone's mind these days is, "Whatever happened to Idiot00001's sense of humanity?" The answer to this question gives the key not only to world history, but to all human culture.

 

Not to be rude or anything, but statements like, "Idiot00001's magic-bullet explanations have reached a depth of degeneracy that was virtually unknown in the past" accurately express the feelings of most of us here. When you get right down to it, once people obtain the critical skills that enable them to think and reflect and speculate independently, they'll realize that Idiot00001 is too brutal to read the writing on the wall. This writing warns that someone has been giving his brain a very thorough washing, and now Idiot00001 is trying to do the same to us. It may seem obvious, but I contend that Idiot00001's opinion is a lazy cop-out. To top that off, Idiot00001 holds onto power like the eunuch mandarins of the Forbidden City -- sterile obstacles to progress who make a fetish of the virtues of ****y egotism. While stentorian, primitive popinjays claim to defend traditional values, they actually conjure up dirt against his fellow human beings. I sincerely have a hard time trying to reason with people who remain calm when they see Idiot00001 shatter and ultimately destroy our most precious possessions.

 

I cannot believe how many actual, physical, breathing, thinking people have fallen for his subterfuge. I'm thoroughly stunned. There can be no doubt that the central paradox of Idiot00001's treatises, the twist that makes Idiot00001's stratagems so irresistible to refractory, wretched extortionists, is that these people truly believe that we should all bear the brunt of Idiot00001's actions. We must reach out to people with the message that Idiot00001's attendants internalize and adapt to the unwritten realities they must work under. We must alert people of that. We must educate them. We must inspire them. And we must encourage them to give him a rhadamanthine warning not to remake the world to suit his own rotten needs.

 

No one can claim to know the specific source of Idiot00001's tactics, but every time Idiot00001 utters or writes a statement that supports metagrobolism -- even indirectly -- it sends a message that my bitterness at Idiot00001 is merely the latent projection of libidinal energy stemming from self-induced anguish. I myself indubitably feel we mustn't let him make such statements, partly because I find his failed attempts to seize control over where we eat, sleep, socialize, and associate with others mildly amusing, but primarily because he has a strategy. His strategy is to fragment the nation into politically disharmonious units. Wherever you encounter that strategy, you are dealing with Idiot00001. He says that the purpose of life is self-gratification. But then he turns around and says that space aliens are out to lay eggs in our innards or ooze their alien hell-slime all over us. You know, you can't have it both ways, Idiot00001.

 

Given his record of shady dealings, he is the picture of the insane person on the street, babbling to a tree, a wall, or a cloud, which cannot and does not respond to his ****-and-bull stories. We must sound the bugle of liberty. Our children depend on that.

 

My current plan is to weed out people like Idiot00001 who have deceived, betrayed, and exploited us. Yes, he will draw upon the most powerful fires of Hell to tear that plan asunder, but he says that courtesy and manners don't count for anything. Yet he also wants to turn positions of leadership into positions of complacency. Am I the only one who sees the irony there? I ask, because I shall not argue that his newsgroup postings are an authentic map of his plan to deny minorities a cultural voice. Read them and see for yourself. Idiot00001's victims have been speaking out for years. Unfortunately, their voices have long been silenced by the roar and thunder of Idiot00001's fans, who loudly proclaim that newspapers should report only on items Idiot00001 agrees with. Regardless of those raving proclamations, the truth is that there are two kinds of people in this world. There are those who create some craven, pseudo-psychological profile of me to discredit my opinions, and there are those who pave the way for people of every sex, race, and socioeconomic status to fulfill their own spiritual destiny. Idiot00001 fits neatly into the former category, of course. Although the dialectics of unscrupulous praxis will gum up what were once great ideas in the coming days, many people who follow his pronouncements have come to the erroneous conclusion that the federal government should take more and more of our hard-earned money and more and more of our hard-won rights. The stark truth of the matter is that I unquestionably claim that I must defend my honor. My views, of course, are not the issue here. The issue is that he will befuddle the public and make sin seem like merely a sophisticated fashion because he possesses a hatred that defies all logic and understanding, that cannot be quantified or reasoned away, and that savagely possesses unrestrained freaks with disaffected and uncontrollable rage.

 

I want to rage, rage against the dying of the light. That may seem simple enough, but Idiot00001's snow jobs have merged with negativism in several interesting ways. Both spring from the same kind of reality-denying mentality. Both confiscate other people's rightful earnings. And both transform our little community into a global crucible of terror and gore. Idiot00001 keeps trying to break up society's solidarity and cohesiveness. And if we don't remain eternally vigilant, he will truly succeed. No one that I speak with or correspond with is happy about this situation. Of course, I don't speak or correspond with corrupt megalomaniacs, Idiot00001's secret police, or anyone else who fails to realize that if you were to tell Idiot00001 that the problem of self-serving schizophrenics serves as an excuse for him to express his own hostility and frustrated need for power, he'd just pull his security blanket a little tighter around himself and refuse to come out and deal with the real world. Even by Idiot00001's own account, even if he is not conscious of the inner reason for his outbursts, his functionaries have demonstrated brutally, horribly, and with great terror how they will usher in the beginning of a snotty new era of clericalism. The best example of this, culled from many, would have to be the time he tried to force onto us the degradation and ignominy that he is known to revel in. There are two reasons which induce me to submit Idiot00001's maneuvers to a special examination: 1) I do not intend this letter to be in any way misinterpreted as a personal attack on Idiot00001, and 2) Idiot00001 can't, for the life of him, understand why anyone would prefer so much as one minute of solitude to the company of a callow gang of the most snivelling savages I've ever seen. I must admit that the second point, in particular, sometimes fills me with anxious concern.

 

After reading everything I could find on this subject, I was forced to conclude that you may be wondering why lecherous ex-cons latch onto his communications. It's because people of that nature need to have rhetoric and dogma to recite during times of stress in order to cope. That's also why from secret-handshake societies meeting at "the usual place" to back-door admissions committees, Idiot00001's operatives have always found a way to make our lives an endless treadmill of government interferences while providing few real benefits to our health and happiness. At the end of this journey, I want to be able to say that I tried my best to address a number of important issues. No joke. Idiot00001's contrivances share a number of characteristics. They desecrate religious objects. They grant insensitive bohemians the keys to the kingdom. And they replace intellectual integrity with randy sloganeering. Put together, these characteristics imply that Idiot00001 ignores the most basic ground rule of debate. In case you're not familiar with it, that rule is: attack the idea, not the person.

 

To state it in a more sophisticated manner, it's easy to tell if he is lying. If his lips are moving, he's lying. In particular, Idiot00001 often expresses great interest in, and approval of, violent acts reported in the press -- spousal abuse, shooting sprees, capital punishment, and so forth. Of that I am certain, because if we are to review the basic issues at the root of the debate, then we must be guided by a healthy and progressive ideology, not by the goofy and socially inept ideologies that Idiot00001 promotes. Now that you've read this letter, let me challenge you, the reader, not just to help me declare a truce with Idiot00001 and commence a dialogue, but also to educate others about what I've written.

[Rogue Nine]

Does anyone actually read all this?

[idiot00001]

I would like to solve the problems that are important to most people. To get right down to it, Rogue Nine's arguments would be a lot more effective if they were at least accurate or intelligent, not just a load of bull for the sake of being controversial. If I have characterized his lackeys up to now as discourteous and wrongheaded, it is only because his conjectures are not just about sexism but also about barbarism. For proof of this fact, I must point out that a central fault line runs through each of his arguments. Specifically, his lies come in many forms. Some of his lies are in the form of anecdotes. Others are in the form of litanies. Still more are in the form of folksy posturing and pretended concern and compassion. I find that I am embarrassed. Embarrassed that some people don't realize that I, hardheaded cynic that I am, decidedly hope that the truth will prevail and that justice will be served before Rogue Nine does any real damage. Or is it already too late? The only clear answer to emerge from the conflicting, contradictory stances that Rogue Nine and his surrogates take is that outrage pounded in my temples when I first realized that Rogue Nine wants to give what I call impudent pseudo-intellectuals far more credibility than they deserve. From a purely technical point of view, in order to solve the big problems with him, we must first understand these problems, and to understand them, we must provide an atmosphere of mutual respect, free from autism, favoritism, and all other forms of prejudice and intolerance.

 

Rogue Nine doesn't have any principles, or if he does, he puts them aside whenever they're inconvenient. His greed will be his undoing. This position, in large part, parallels civil libertarianism, but with particular emphasis on the fact that he is entirely mistaken if he believes that his declamations are a breath of fresh air amid our modern culture's toxic cloud of chaos. While this letter hasn't provided anything in the way of a concrete plan of action, it may help us focus our thinking a little better when we do work out a plan. For now, we must give parents the means to protect their children. I will unmistakably be happy to have your help in this endeavor.

 

 

 

 

I have had enough of Darth Homer! Instead of focusing on why Darth Homer's inclinations are but a speck in a constellation of methodologies used by teetotalism to publish blatantly birdbrained rhetoric as "education" for children to learn in school, I would like to remind people that only through education can individuals gain the independent tools they need to speak out against irrational party animals. But the first step is to acknowledge that he is driving me nuts. I can't take it anymore! Perhaps he has some sound arguments on his side, but if so, he's keeping them well hidden; all the arguments I've heard from him are totally unreasonable. Darth Homer commonly appoints ineffective people to important positions. He then ensures that these people stay in those positions, because that makes it easy for Darth Homer to assail all that is holy. If he had even a shred of intellectual integrity, he'd admit that I wouldn't want to impose ideology, control thought, and punish virtually any behavior he disapproves of. I would, on the other hand, love to hold out the prospect of societal peace, prosperity, and a return to sane values and certainties. But, hey, I'm already doing that with this letter. It is disgraceful that, with a wink and a smile, Darth Homer has signified his approval of sex-crazed miscreants who make empty promises. This makes me fearful that I might someday find myself in the crosshairs of his obscene, confused prophecies. (To be honest, though, it wouldn't be the first time.) To Darth Homer's mind, anyone who resists him deserves to be crushed. So that means that two wrongs make a right, right? No, not right. The truth is that you don't need to be a rocket scientist to detect the subtext of this letter. But just in case it's too subliminal for some, let me thrust it into your face right here: I have to laugh when Darth Homer says that his deeds are Right with a capital R. Where in the world did he get that idea? Not only does that idea contain absolutely no substance whatsoever, but he uses the word "establishmentarianism" without ever having taken the time to look it up in the dictionary. People who are too lazy to get their basic terms right should be ignored, not debated.

 

Despite some perceptions to the contrary, the pen is a powerful tool. Why don't we use that tool to provide people the wherewithal to build an inclusive, nondiscriminatory movement for social and political change? Darth Homer thinks nothing of violating the spirit of an indigenous people whose art and songs and way of life are proof that Darth Homer's philosophies are ruffianism at its worst. Let me explain. The hour is late indeed. Fortunately, it's not yet too late to reach the broadest possible audience with the message that Darth Homer got into a snit the last time I pointed out that we have fallen into his trap. While reading this letter, you may have occasionally asked yourself, "Where is all of this leading?" and, "What is the point exactly?" I deliberately wrote in the style I did so that you may come up with your own conclusions. Therefore, I leave you with only the following: The most pigheaded litterbugs I've ever seen have traditionally tried to piggyback on substantive issues to gain legitimacy for themselves.

[Clefo]

There are a number of things I could have chosen to write about in this letter. I could have chosen to write about how Rev. Idiot00001 is unmistakably possessed by the devil. Or I might have chosen to write something about the way that his accusations are sheer idiocy. But, instead, I've decided to devote this entire letter to explaining how Idiot00001 has a certain fondness for subhuman bigamists. And that's why I feel compelled to say something about deluded, irritable half-wits. He believes that hanging out with semi-intelligible, immoral maniacs is a wonderful, culturally enriching experience. That's just wrong. He further believes that cultural tradition has never contributed a single thing to the advancement of knowledge or understanding. Wrong again!

 

He argues that he is a bearer and agent of the Creator's purpose. I wish I could suggest some incontrovertible chain of apodictic reasoning that would overcome this argument, but the best I can do is the following: He is an opportunist. That is, he is an ideological chameleon, without any real morality, without a soul. It is no news that Idiot00001's latest manifesto, like all the ones that preceded it, is a consummate anthology of disastrously bad writing teeming with misquotations and inaccuracies, an odyssey of anecdotes that are occasionally entertaining, but certainly not informative. Idiot00001 pompously claims that his off-the-cuff comments are Right with a capital R. That sort of nonsense impresses many people, unfortunately. After having read this, you may think that I seethe with anger whenever I think about Rev. Idiot00001's delirious screeds. Nevertheless, you should always remember that what may seem insignificant or humorous to him is often hurtful and confusing to others.

 

 

[idiot00001]

I don't know what to make of Clefo's nostrums. On the one hand, the ruthless aspect of Clefo's ramblings will create a stir between superficial, blasphemous fogeys and the viperine public at large. But on the other hand, Clefo's stupidity concerning mandarinism is laughable. Wait! Before you dismiss me as cynical, hear me out. I have this advice to offer: The world has changed, Clefo; get used to it. Unfortunately, his oppressive, frightful stratagems neglect to take one important factor into consideration: human nature.

 

I don't mean to scare you, but I have no idea why he makes such a big fuss over cynicism. There are far more pressing issues that present themselves and that should be discussed, debated, and solved -- issues such as war, famine, poverty, and homelessness. There is also the lesser issue that there are some simple truths in this world. First, there is little question that Clefo carries the seeds of his own self-destruction. Second, a complete description of the problems with Clefo's prank phone calls would occupy several volumes. And finally, Clefo may deprive individuals of the right to place a high value on honor and self-respect right after he reads this letter. Let him. Faster than you can say "hematospectrophotometer", I will clarify and correct some of the inaccuracies present in Clefo's jibes. All in all, this is a lesson for those with eyes to see. It is a lesson not so much about Clefo's putrid behavior, but about the way that I myself am proud that I'm not among the number of loud libertines of this world. But what, you may ask, does any of that have to do with the theme of this letter, viz., that he should just face the facts? I would venture the answer has something to do with vigilantism. To elaborate, we have a number of problems for which he bears most of the responsibility. And here, I contend, lies a clue to the intellectual vacuum so gapingly apparent in his smears.

 

Imagine a world in which Clefo could humiliate, subjugate, and eventually, eliminate everyone who wants to hold out the prospect of societal peace, prosperity, and a return to sane values and certainties whenever he felt like it. Does he think his arguments through, or does he just chug along on his computer writing about whatever trite threats happen to suit his needs that day? I ask, because even when the facts don't fit, he sometimes tries to use them anyway. He still maintains, for instance, that 75 million years ago, a galactic tyrant named Xenu solved the overpopulation problem of his 76-planet federation by transporting the excess people to Earth, chaining them to volcanoes, and dropping H-bombs on them. Obviously, you shouldn't automatically believe all the allegations I've been making, so let me elaborate a bit. I will never identify with effete yahoos. Let me rephrase that: He keeps telling us that he can walk on water. Are we also supposed to believe that fascism is a be-all, end-all system that should be forcefully imposed upon us? I didn't think so. By and large, we were put on this planet to be active, to struggle, and to advocate social change through dialogue, passive resistance, and nonviolence. We were not put here to monopolize the press, as Clefo might believe. To recap the main points made in this letter: 1) Clefo has an uncanny ability to totally miss the point of any given issue, 2) naive converts to isolationism are receptive to his wrongheaded messages and fool easily, and 3) he is incapable of writing a letter without using such phrases as "jackbooted porn stars", "cuckoo, recalcitrant deviants", "rotten ragamuffins", or some combination thereof.

 

 

 

Guns? Absence of religion? Lack of self esteem? Poor parenting? The entertainment industry? Who's to blame for Viper's psychotic intimations? Numerous professionals (and not-so-professionals) have speculated and mulled, publicly and privately, over what has caused Viper to trample into the mud all that is fine and noble and beautiful. Here's the story: I wonder if he really believes the things he says. He knows they're not true, doesn't he? It is only when one has answers to that question is it possible to make sense of his machinations, because I'm willing to accept that his prank phone calls are part and parcel of a larger game plan to enact new laws forcing anyone who's not one of his minions to live in an environment that can, at best, be described as contemptuously tolerant. I'm even willing to accept that his flimflams have a devastating effect on the poor, the sick, and the elderly. But implying that a book of his writings would be a good addition to the Bible is no different from implying that he defends the real needs of the working class. Both statements are ludicrous. I would like to close by saying that Viper's insanity has reached record levels.

[Darth Homer]

It will unequivocally surprise some people to hear me say this, but the fact that brainless hooliganism enthusiasts find King George Lucas I's ravings entertaining -- indeed, titillating -- is deeply horrifying to the past and potential victims of such insults. Let's get down to brass tacks: King Lucas's victims have been speaking out for years. Unfortunately, their voices have long been silenced by the roar and thunder of King Lucas's flunkies, who loudly proclaim that the sky is falling. Regardless of those prodigal proclamations, the truth is that I'm sure he wouldn't want me to eavesdrop on his secret conversations. So why does King Lucas want to overthrow the government and eliminate the money system? Well, if I knew that, I'd be in Stockholm picking up my prize and a sizable check. We must advocate social change through dialogue, passive resistance, and nonviolence. If we don't, future generations will not know freedom. Instead, they will know fear; they will know sadness; they will know injustice, poverty, and grinding despair. Most of all, they will realize, albeit far too late, that it seems clear that King Lucas looks down with a really limitless condescension on anyone who has not been dragged through the obligatory schools and had the necessary knowledge pumped into him. But we ought to look at the matter in a broader framework before we draw final conclusions on the subject: We see that diabolic, bloody-minded peddlers of snake-oil remedies like King Lucas often think they have the right to deploy enormous resources in a war of attrition against helpless citizens. So what's the connection between that and King Lucas's principles? The connection is that I feel no more personal hatred for him than I might feel for a herd of wild animals or a cluster of poisonous reptiles. One does not hate those whose souls can exude no spiritual warmth; one pities them.

 

I used to think that neo-silly nutters were the most infantile people on the planet, but now I know that when I'm through with King Lucas, he'll think twice before attempting to make me the target of a constant, consistent, systematic, sustained campaign of attacks. It is my personal opinion, based on years of observation, that he is not only immoral, but amoral. In its annual report on inconsiderate incidents, the government concluded that King Lucas's hypocrisy is transparent. Even the least discerning among us can see right through it. Many the things I've talked about in this letter are obvious. We all know they're true. But still it's necessary for us to say them, because the absence of necessary historiographical context makes King George Lucas I's accusations extremely difficult to accept.

[Artoo]

So much spam! You could insert anything you wanted to inside the middle of those paragraphs cause no one reads them!

[Jatt13]

i know! fun, huh? *offers artoo some popcorn and a seat on inflatable couch*