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10 reasons why SW sucks


Dagobahn Eagle

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1. Plot-hole I.

When Obi-Wan, Luke, Han, and Leia infiltrated the Death Star, why didn't R2 and Obi-Wan just shut down the cooling system of the Death Star?

 

2. Plothole II.

When Luke's Snowspeeder crashed on Hoth, why couldn't he have done that thing with his saber with ALL the walkers?

 

3. Greed.

When the Falcon dives into the trench and shoots down a TIE, Lucas has the second TIE ram Vader so that both Han and Vader survives, rather than having Chewie mess up so that the Falcon rams the TIE and then spins to its death; just for Han and Chewie to re-appear in ESB and ROTJ. This is obviously just a marketing ploy to cash in on everyone's love of perverts (Han) and people with too much bodily hair (Chewbacca).

 

4. Radicalism.

When Yoda lands on Dagobah, Yoda lets Luke in, but leaves R2 out in the rain. This proves that Yoda is an anti-materialist, which means he, and which, in turn, means that the Jedi were Communists fighting the Materialistic Empire. Which means Lucas was just trying to cash in on Post-Cold war hate against Americans the whole time.

 

5. Promotion of violence.

The part with Vader strangling the captain of the Tantine IV for lying was just intended to attract evil violent Math Teachers to the Star Wars movies.

 

6. Plothole.

The Death Star is so damn heavily shielded a proton torp load can't go trough it, but even a 70-year old guy with probably nothing more than a 386 computer in his desert alcove can hack into their terminals.

 

7. Anti-Capitalism. Again.

This rusty old little bucket that is R2 turns out to be really intelligent and resource-full and the gold-claden, well-educated 3PO turns out to be stupid. This reflects Lucas's wish of cashing in on Communists watching the movies.

 

8. Plotholes! Look out!

If Obi-Wan could appear anywhere, as he did to Luke on Hoth, why didn't he just materialize on the bridge of the Death Star and scare everyone to Hell, causing the Death Star to crash into the Red gas giant near Yavin?

 

9. Racism I.

In ESB, Luke encounters and kills a deadly, evil creature who lives in a cave. Bin Laden is also a deadly, evil creature living in a cave, and by having Luke kill the Wampa, Lucas reveals his evil ploy of cashing in on Bin Laden hate.

 

10. Racism II.

Lando Calrissian, the only brown-skinned guy in the movie invites people to dinner without notifying them of... the true nature of the slightly unfriendly nature of the other guests. He then proceeds to freeze his best friend. The fact that Lando is "black" shows Lucas's hate towards people with different skin colors.

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1. Your a sick twisted little boy.

 

2. You obviously dont like star wars for some bizarre reason.

 

3. "When Luke's Snowspeeder crashed on Hoth, why couldn't he have done that thing with his saber with ALL the walkers? " He used his saber to open up the AT-AT and threw a grenade in. He only had one!

 

4. Yoda is 870 years old, he's ill and he needs to train luke properly. And if you look at Episode 2 you see a loaad of Droids fighting jedi, probably why yoda hates them so much.

 

5. You obviously haven't read the EU books and watched the films before ep 4,5 & 6.

 

6. Episode 5 was released in the eighties, bin laden wasn't even a terrorist then.

 

7. If you dont like Star Wars so much or not at all in your case, go watch Star Trek!

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hilarious! i'm sure you didn't write this, did you? cuz it's a bunch load of bs... ;)

 

This rusty old little bucket that is R2 turns out to be really intelligent and resource-full and the gold-claden, well-educated 3PO turns out to be stupid. This reflects Lucas's wish of cashing in on Communists watching the movies.

 

R2 was made by some educated naboo engineer, whereas c3po was made by a 9 year old boy....and if you didn't know the gold plating came afterwards...

 

ok, i'll shut up now :rolleyes:

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See, Rhett? I do have sense of humor :)

 

Any yes, I wrote this.

 

11. Greedy, greedy.

The scene with Boba Fett being thrown in the Sarlacc is just a trick to attract LOTR fans who likes seeing the ring gets thrown away into lethal pits.

 

13. Hidden P.R.

Smoking causes excess body hair. The smoking industry has been known to hide advertisements in movies. Thus, when Lucas promotes excess body hair (read above post), he also promotes smoking. This reveals not only his hatred towards Americans and capitalism, but also his wish to kill them all trough cancer.

 

14. More plotholes

When Leia was questioned on the location of the Rebel Base, why didn't she say it was on Coruscant, so that the Imperials proceeded to blow that planet up and lose the war?

 

15. Plothole V

Lucas promotes instant hate against a certain corporation/ethnical group when he has Luke blame the Imperials for killing his parents although he had no idea that the Imperials, and not the tusken raiders or that "he doesn't like you" guy where behind it. Indeed, those two people on the bar wanted to shoot Luke first thing (although they supposedly didn't know him). We know these two people killed Luke's parents because they were envious because Luke received this holo-clip of a hot girl and they did not, but Lucas had to have Luke believe it was the Empire's doing and not them. This is just an attempt to get Hitler's followers to like Star Wars.

 

Why isn't this in off topic though?

Sorry 'bout that

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Originally posted by Dagobahn Eagle

14. More plotholes

When Leia was questioned on the location of the Rebel Base, why didn't she say it was on Coruscant, so that the Imperials proceeded to blow that planet up and lose the war?

 

 

LOL!!!! Can't....stop....laughing....:D

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Originally posted by jediduo

This is good. Now we need to do this for Star Trek!:evil1:

 

Through my experiences with Star Trek i never found anything that makes it "suck"

 

It's just too cheezy for my taste :D, and Star Wars had a way better story which attracted me towards starwars and repelled me from ST...:o

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Through my experiences with Star Trek i never found anything that makes it "suck"

 

It's just too cheezy for my taste , and Star Wars had a way better story which attracted me towards starwars and repelled me from ST...

 

My big dream: A Star Wars TV Series that follows the crew of a single vessel.. like the Star Trek series follow the Enterprises.

 

You've got some words to eat, though:

 

1. Picard proudly states that "there can be no freedom as long as laws are absolute" when he's on a planet some time in TNG, then he goes off to slavishly follow the Prime Directive himself -without ANY exceptions.

 

2. Racism, discrimination..

According to UFP regulations, new races have to fill in a ton of paperwork before joining the Federation, yet Data's cat is allowed on board without even filling out a registration card.

 

It's hard to come up with reasons on ST, as everything in it has to be explained in some way :(. Why couldn't they just go "Uh... I dunno" sometimes. Like, "why do our torpedoes shimmer red?". "Huh? Who knows?" :)

 

Take care,

The eagle

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