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Op Enduring Produce


Lime-Light

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I just wrote this one day while thinking of how incompresibly stupid my president is. It was during the whole afghanistan campaign bull**** (and right after the Launch of America's Army, which worked about as well as the afformentioned's brain):

 

INVASION!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This just in

 

The invasion has begun. Super fast and heavily armored fighter/bomber craft from the nation of Ethiopia are laying waste to forces in Yellowknife, Yukon; Beaver, Utah; and Chihuahua, Mexico.

 

They have already landed ground forces and have siezed produce from ransacked grocerie stores and markets.

 

A group of "America's Army" players who were actually able to join a game where dispacted to the scene. No word yet on further developements.

 

President Bush has already made a statement, "Citizens of America, in the states of Canada and Mexico and Utah, we hold out hope for you. We as a nation need to stand up, and help our fellow Americans. I am already in the process of enstating a nation-wide task force, the Grocery Defense Initiative, GDI, to safe gaurd what vegetable and brand name products we have. Intense and scrutinous security will be enstated surrounding all grocery stores. Soldiers will investigate all shoppers, especially those of the dark-skinned and ravinously hungry persuation. A branching military campiagn, Op Enduring Produce, is being organised for a drawn out ocupation of Ethi.....Ethiopi....Ethipo...Ethopia. Yes, there. Ethiopia. This wrong will not go un-righted, this smudge on america grocery stores will not go un....unsmudged. America will endure, and previal! Questions?"

 

"Mr.President-"

"Call my Dubya"

"Uhhh, how do you do that little waddle thing when you come up to the podium. Do you just squeez your butt-cheeks or something?"

"Like...like this? Yes its mostly the butt-cheek thing, part of it is making your face all squezed together."

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