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Orc War


Veloceth

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The Elf-Warrior who got back up to the castle wall after killing the evil black knight sees Topshot dropping Ceth over the edge.

 

Me: What are you doing? He's one of ours! Have you gone insane? I grab a sword from a nearby knight who got skewered by an Orc arrow. If you have been taken by the dark powers, so be it. But you will be defeated if you attempt try anything.

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*The orcs make it to an incredably small creek, on that creek is built a small bridge, and on that bridge stands a tall Knight, with armour of all Black. He wields a Black Bladed Lightsaber.*

 

Black Knight: "NONE SHALL PASS!"

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The Orcs attack the black knight at the bridge. During the battle, one of them cuts off the knights arm.

 

Orc #1: Victory is ours! Onwards!

 

Knight: Oy! Come back 'ere you cowards!

 

Orc #2: But we cut your arm off!

 

Knight: No you haven't!

 

Orc #3: What do you call that?

 

Knight: It's but a flesh wound! Have at thee!

 

He attacks the orcs, but get's his other arm chopped off.

 

Orc Leader: Right. Onwards!

 

Knight: Fight! The Black Knight always triumphs! Fight you chickens!

 

Orc Leader: Listen you bastard you've got no arms left!

 

Knight: Yes I do!

 

O.L.: You lie!

 

They chop off his leg.

 

K.: Come on chickens.

 

O.L.: What are you going to do, bleed on me?

 

They cut off the other leg. Then they move on across the creek.

 

K.: Come back and fight you cowards! The Black Knight is invincible!

 

O.L.:OK we'll call it a draw then.

 

 

Bad boy. No more controlling other people's characters. Next time I might just hit delete post ;)

 

-Redwing

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Dark Knight:"Thanks, Draconis. I can see who my allies are now....."

 

Dark Knight now attacks the Orcs with his double-edged blue lightsaber in a "Darth Maul-gone-Medieval" fashion.

 

5 Orcs dead, he quoted himself, A whole army to go!

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[OK, glad you guys have a sense of humor ;) ]

 

I fly off from the castle on a great eagle to alert rouse the power of the nearby villages. I enter a village in the middle of a witch trial.

 

Villagers: A WITCH!!! We found a witch!

 

Village Wiseman: A witch? But how do you know she is a witch? ... What do we do with witches?

 

Villagers: BURN THEM!!!!!!!

 

Village Wiseman: And what else burns?

 

Villager: Wood?

 

Village Wiseman: Yes. How do we find out if she is made out of wood?

 

Villager: ... Make a bridge out of 'er?

 

Village Wiseman: Does wood float?

 

Villager: I guess so...

 

Village Wiseman: What else floats?

 

Villagers: Dirt... Very small rocks!

 

Me: A duck!

 

Village Wiseman: A duck! Very good! SO, if the witch weighs the same as a duck, she is made of wood, and therefore...

 

All Villagers: A WITCH!!!!!! BURN 'ER!!!!!!!

 

The villagers weigh here with a duck while the wiseman talks to me.

 

Wiseman: So what is such a learned fellow like you doing in these parts?

 

Me: The kingdom needs help. The King's fortress in the mountains is under siege by a host of Orcs. We need the help of all villages in the kingdom. Have riders spread the word and send as much men as you can.

 

Wiseman: It is done.

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