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Funniest Quotes in the Series


Yufster

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The whole pirate song before the swordfighting section is brilliant

 

i agree! i would love to have it taped! :)

 

Captain: Thanks for the help back there guys.(sarcastically)

Third Mate: It was a rousing battle, Captain.

First Mate: Aye, and it reminds me of a song...

 

(singing)

First Mate: We're a band of vicous pirates

Second Mate: A Sailin' Out to Sea!

Third Mate: When ye hear our gentle singin'

First Mate: Be sure to turn and flee!

(talking) Captain: Ohh, this is just ridiculous.

 

Captain: Come on men, We've GOT to recover that map!

Second Mate: That pirate will be done for when he falls into our trap!

 

 

Third Mate: We're a club of tuneful rovers

First Mate: We can sing at every clef

Second Mate: We can even hit the high notes!

First Mate: It's just too bad we're tone deaf.

 

All Mates: A pirate I was meant to be, trim the sails and roam the seas!

 

Captain: Let's go defeat that evil pirate!

Second Mate: We know he's sure to lose because we know just where to fire at!

 

Second Mate: We're a thieving valideer

First Mate: A gang of cutthroat mugs

Third Mate: To fight us off you wont need guns

Second Mate: Just jolly good earplugs!

 

All Mates: A pirate I was meant to be, trim the sails and roam the seas!

 

Captain: Alright crew, let's get to work!

First Mate: Our vocation is a thing we love, a thing we never shirk!

 

First Mate: We'll fightchu in the harbor

Third Mate: We'll battle you on land

Second Mate: But when you meet singing pirates

(talking) Captain: They'll be more than you can stand.

First Mate: Oh, ho, that was a good one!

Captain: No, it wasn't.

 

Captain: No time for song, we've got to move!

Third Mate: The battle will be long, but our courage we will prove!

 

Second Mate: We're a pack of scurvy seadogs

First Mate: Have we pity? Not a gram

Third Mate: We all eat roasted garlic

First Mate: And sing from the diaphram.c

 

All Mates: A pirate I was meant to be, trim the sails and roam the seas!

 

Captain: Less Singing, More Sailing!

Second Mate: When we defeat our wicked show his ship he will be bailing!

 

Third Mate: If ye try to fight us

First Mate: You'll get a nasty whackin'

Second Mate: If you disrespect our singin'

First Mate: We will bring ye to a crackin'!

 

All Mates: A pirate I was meant to be, trim the sails and roam the seas!

 

Captain: I'm getting so sick of you guys and your rhyming!

First Mate: We're ready to set sail, though the cannons need a primin'!

 

Second Mate: We're troublesome corsairs

Third Mate: We've come to steal yer treasure

First Mate: We would shoot ya in the dungbie

Second Mate: But we've got a rest by measures

 

All Mates: A pirate I was meant to be, trim the sails and roam the seas!

 

Captain: (whining)Stop, stop, stop!

Third Mate: The brass is what we'll pollish and the deck is what we'll mop!

 

Captain: You say you're nasty pirates,

Thieving scheming bad-bush whackers,

But from what I've seen I tell you you're no pirates,

You're just slackers!

 

All Mates: A pirate I was meant to be, trim the sails and roam the seas!

Captain: We'll surely avoid scurvy if we all eat an orange.

(Crew Desperately tries to think of a word to rhyme orange with)

First Mate: and..

Second Mate: umm...

Third Mate: well..

First Mate: uhh..

Third Mate: Door Hinge?

Second Mate: No, no..

Third Mate: Guess the song's over then.

First Mate: Guess so...

Second Mate: OK, back to work.

Captain: Well, gee.. I feel a little guilty now.

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alright i just didn't have it in me to read this entire thread so i'm not sure if this has been said already:

 

somi- when you're in the water for about four minutes and two pirates walk over and have a conversation that goes something like this:

 

'Hey nick, I just committed a felony!'

'No way! What was it?'

'I killed bob with this knife!'

'You need to get rid of that thing!'

'Sure, Ill throw it in the water!'

'No! It could wash up somewhere!'

'My prints wont be on it!'

'Okay then.'

'Alright, here i go.'

long pause

'...naaaah, i might need it.'

 

also i think the best line in emi was when guybrush is on the beach of monkey island and starts complaining about how is life is like an unending series of puzzles. In the background, you can hear a violin.

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MI1

The whole vegetarian cannibals thing.

Stealing one of Lemonheads idols to give them as a present.

 

MI2

Cheating at the drinking contest.

Losing at the drinking contest.

Gov Phatts food tubes.

Getting chased by the chef at Elaines mansion.

The bones song. (especially in a game without voices)

When I found out that you could ask Fred if the bucket belonged to him instead of spending ten minutes saying 'pretty please' etc.

Franks face when you saw off his leg.

When Largo calls LeChuck a creep.

 

CMI

"You fed cheese to a lactose intolerant volcano god?!?!"

"Quodros el dias? Es El Pollo Diablo!"

"This wind captain! Shes the devils own!"

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