Reaper Girl Posted July 25, 2003 Share Posted July 25, 2003 ...and Reaper Girl, who has mysteriously survived the universe being restarted twice, spies on Roy from afar, and in turn... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoyTordesLegend Posted August 3, 2003 Author Share Posted August 3, 2003 ......Mr Wase, his old teacher from the special classes all those years ago, returned clasping a large ruler. In the background, Wase's large chested Schoolgirl Bride was chuckling. Wase had somehow become a cyborg after all these years, and had modelled some of his robotic functions on those of one of the many 'fake' Das Moles'. Thus Wase appeared to be 'confused'. All of a sudden Ray Jones appeared, tripped over the by now naked Reaper Girl (???!? - well got to liven it up somehow!! ), and clubbed Wase round the head with his 'Black Mambo Missy Marmalade' blow up doll. The doll which Ray had previously inflated with an unknown gas (possibly his own gas) exploded, taking out Wase, his Teenage Bride, and set fire to Reaper Girls pile of clothes. Luckily for her, it also took out the window of the nearby 'Clown Supply Shop'. Reaper Girl grabbed some comedy inflating underwear, some ultra baggy slacks and a string vest. .....all of a sudden the air became clammy (#!?), Roy could detect the presence of something nearby.....Ray thought this could be down to last nights curry, but Reaper Girl was more in tune, "I know what it is" she exclaimed....."Its the.........." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RicardoLuigi... Posted August 4, 2003 Share Posted August 4, 2003 "evil, disgusting, slimy, cheap martha stewart!" they could smell the blackened christmas turkey in the air. "come here, guys," martha said to ray, roy, and reaper girl. as they stepped forward, there was a flash of red in martha's eyes, but nobody saw. "here, i'm going to chip off some of this black, and look at that beautiful mahogany brown color of that turkey." "we're not stupid," stated reaper girl. "we know you've poisoned it." "maybe so, but at least i don't look like a clown, bitch!" screeched martha. "what?!" exclaimed reaper girl. "that's it, you're going down." in the heat of the catfight, martha took a fork and stabbed the inflatable underwear. reaper girl gasped. "that does it. we're taking this to a very high court of law. we're going to..." ------------------------ "now what happened?" asked jerry springer. "she stabbed my inflatable underwear from the clown supply shop!" "hmm...well, let's bring her out! here's martha!" the crowd began to boo and jeer. "oh, shut the **** up you asses!" martha stepped onto the stage and took the other chair. "now, why did you stab her underwear?" "she threatened me and said i poisoned the turkey!" "i never threatened you!" reaper girl said. "oh, yeah, right, you just don't want to get in trouble on national t.v., you little priss!" "well, you're the one sitting around baking cookies, turkeys and cakes all day, and then you go and make ottomans out of walnut shells, and you're calling me a priss?" "oh, you're going down you *bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep*" martha charged at reaper girl, who stayed calm, cool, and collected. she was stopped by one of the many bodyguards. "now," jerry began, "we're going to settle this with a nice match of naked mud wrestling. the winner is the one who can knock out the other one first and make sure she stays knocked out for at least 10 seconds. actually, let's make it mud and jello." reaper girl and martha entered the ring and began to fight. the first blow was landed... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reaper Girl Posted August 4, 2003 Share Posted August 4, 2003 ...And hit RG in the head. And the Reaper Girl woke up out of her long jasmine tea trip, and releized she was in a mud 'n jello fight with martha stewart. "Whoa." she dumbly uttered, and, at the speed of light, put the silly clown clothes back on as so to dissapoint the perverts. But while she was getting dressed, Martha's eyes turned red and she transformed into the hideous demon thingy she was, with a pair of craft scissors and a red hot glue gun for hands. "CRAP!" RG cried. But she had a trick up her clown sleeves. She procceded to summon the... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoyTordesLegend Posted August 4, 2003 Author Share Posted August 4, 2003 ......Lords of Retro Fashion, who proceeded to attack Ray, Roy and Das with a 'Saturday Night Fever' blast..... ....so now the boys are standing there dressed like John Travolta. Das wrythes around in the floor in agony while Ray and Roy smile, high five and reach for the stereo. Conveniently a copy of 'Night Fever' by the Bee Gees is in the CD Player.........the play button is pressed...........amongst the high pitched singing (By Ray and Roy as well as the Bee Gees), Das Nole works himself up into a terrible rage......"Nooooooooo I cannot die in a white suit..........I NEED to wear my khaki shorts!!!!!!!". Das drop kicks Martha into the crowd. Martha is immediately set upon by the Jerry Springer influenced crowd who rip her to pieces before the bodyguards can get near. Almost immediately the crowd errupts into the usual and very predictable chats of "Jeeerry, Jeerrry". Everyone bar Martha, who is now dust, sits down, although Das is crying because he's just realised he also has John Travoltas boufant hair. Ray and Roy are giving each other high fives for the same reason......Jerry calms down the crowd....and asks Reaper Girl.... "Wow, emotions were high, so why do you think that was so passionate?" After some crying and a large silence, Reaper Girl admits that its because she is married to some country guy with a huge moustache and that Martha was actually her lesbian lover and they were planning to run away to Equador..........(same old Jerry Springer story). .....suddenly a flash of light, the crowd dissapears, but Jerry and the bodyguards start to twitch uncontrollably........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray Jones Posted August 4, 2003 Share Posted August 4, 2003 "uh oh" Ray mentioned whilst he was pointing to jerry and his guys.. "see that roy?? i've seen this only one time in my life.. and i only survived coz i took some innocent person to shield myself from a huge blast .. i think we better duck down so that mole will get the blast to his face." Roy and Ray are ducking down. Ray turns to das mole .. and recognizes that the always confused mole does what he usually alway is doing in such myserious situations.. "d'oh" he say. "my shoe is open" so he kneels down to tie his bootlace. *bb.. bbbbb. bbboOOOOOoouUUum* and the whole scene goes up to the sky.. Roy, Das and Ray where looking to the sky .. and they could not believe it. Martha Stewards was there, ALIVE, gliding on some huge parachute which she had produced quickly from her underpanties. And she was now colored silvern metallic.. which leaves just one clue. She must be some hellborne android machine send from future to fill the world up with pain and acetone-like breath. That and panties as big as parachutes. Meanwhile Reaper Girl appeared. She has still nothing to cloth (except for these NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICE panties.. ) on her body. But it was ok since she was covered with mud over and over. As she stepped up she said: "look what i've found." and showed a strange obviously broken thing, made of metal and wood. "Crap" Ray yelled .. we are in big trouble now. "Do you see this?" Roy and Das looked. They all shrugged. "The universal restart lever.. Oh no. we never can restart again if its getting to boring or das is too confused to find useful words." Roy cried. Ray agreed. "Yeah. that AND Martha Steward over there.. er.. there .. ??? hey.. where did she touched the ground..??" Our fellows really facing deep **** right now, everything within a range of 10 kilometers i blown away, reaper girl is not really naked, das confused and to make things worse the've lost sight of the hellborne android machine Martha Steward. .. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoyTordesLegend Posted August 4, 2003 Author Share Posted August 4, 2003 ....but all of a sudden Das finds his khaki shorts and uses them to open up an escape portal....in fact two escape portals, one for each leg of the shorts...... .....Das, Ray, Reaper Girl and Roy now have a choice - stay and face an uncertain future, or escape through one of the portals..... ....they have two choices, one portal appears to be a black desolate land with dead trees, a howling wind and storms - the other appears to be a green and pleasant land....but all may not be as it first seems.... .....they choose to go......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reaper Girl Posted August 4, 2003 Share Posted August 4, 2003 ..."I don't know about you whackos, but i'm going to the happy land!" Reaper Girl yelled. "See ya!" "Wait," Ray said, not wanting to lose site of the panties with his Xray vison, "It's not as it seems. The dark 'n stormy place could be really the portal to the happy place, and visa versa." So they all go to the dark and stormy place. But really... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoyTordesLegend Posted August 4, 2003 Author Share Posted August 4, 2003 ....Reaper Girl is dreaming of an intimate liason with Ray. Unfortunately for Reaper Girl, Das Mole has talked Ray round to liking khaki shorts, and Ray refuses to touch RG without her first taking off all her clothes and wearing Das's shorts on her head. Since Das wont part with the shorts, that scuppers the liason, so both are rather unhappy, Das is confused - only Roy has a clear head...... .....suddenly out of nowhere, Das's interlectually superior evil little brother jumps out of the shadows and kidnaps Reaper Girl........Ray desperaterly wants to chase after him, but cant do it without her first wearing Das's khaki shorts.......and Das wont part with them.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RicardoLuigi... Posted August 4, 2003 Share Posted August 4, 2003 "get the **** out of here!" das yelled at his little brother. "you're ruining our slightly exciting, slightly boring story! go away!" "okay..." so he went away. "now," ray said, "you must give reaper girl your shorts." "never! can't you see? these portals are what they look like. the happy one is the happy one. the dark one is the evil one. this isn't some kind of strange paradoxical metaphor to personify the meaning of life! there's no hidden description to why the portals are extreme differential ratios. or something. this is what it is. you need to wake up from your dream world(s) guys. this is reality." "wow." they all said in unison, amazed at how different that was, especially coming from das. "now let's go. we're going to happyland," das stated. they all entered the portal to happyland, and the portal closed behind them. they so fields filled with flowers and bunny rabbits, with little butterflies skipping around. as they all went to take a step forward, ray felt a strange lurking around them. "wait!" he warned them. "don't move." they could hear movement in the bushes. there was a shadow lurking around. and out of the darkness came the martha stewart android, hot glue guns and needles ablaze. "hello. welcome to the corner of pay and back." the hot glue came shooting rapidly out of the hot glue guns, and needles began shooting out of her mouth. "ha ha ha!" a few needles landed in reaper girl's right cheek. "aaahh!!! nooo!!! i hate acupuncture!" the glue hit a few dead leaves on the ground, starting a wildfire. "let's see you stop that!" and with that, martha flew away into the sky. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ernil Posted August 9, 2003 Share Posted August 9, 2003 until, unlooked for and unexpected, an airplane flys out from its hidden spot in the bushes and crushes martha, face, head, and invisable legs all. After the madness, Ernil jumps out of the bushes after escaping from jail that morning with only a pair of panties and a bikini top. All others watch him confusingly (who the HELL IS this guy?) Amidst the confusion, Ernil runs out of there realising that all of these ridiculous people used to be obsessed with panties...but that was a few universes ago...right....a few martha stewarts ago...c'mon guys....quit looking at me like that....the panties aren't THAT nice.... *Ernil makes a terrible attempt to book it out of there, and trips over nothing.* None of that matters, though, because Das Mole was busy tearing apart his small yet useful.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RicardoLuigi... Posted August 9, 2003 Share Posted August 9, 2003 ...manual of style. "why are you doing that?" asked ray. "because, i have to rip this apart into tiny pieces, then give it to a clown. that should open another portal to get us out of this hellish otherworld." "but where are we supposed to get a clown?" "here. take this." reaper girl handed ray a clown suit. "where'd you get this from?" ray wondered. "well, where do you think? obviously it was in the clown supply shop." "but if they took away your clothes, then how did you still have this?" "never mind. just put it on." "okay, i'm done. i'll throw this stylish confetti on you now, ray." das stated. and after he tossed up the very limited amount they had... it missed ray. not a single shred hit him. "oh, great, i missed! now how are we supposed to get out of here?" "look, over there!" reaper girl said. "it's a... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoyTordesLegend Posted August 10, 2003 Author Share Posted August 10, 2003 .....huge pair of panties!! (doh!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ernil Posted August 10, 2003 Share Posted August 10, 2003 "Thank God!" Screams Roy. "I'll just get naked, then put these panties on...and...here we go." He states. There he stands, with nowhere to go, and oddly, nothing happening. As he waits and thinks...nearly naked except for an overly large pair of panties, who does he see but the one person he didn't want to walk by in the whole world... (P.S....Roy...you're new avatar scares the bajeezes out of me. its...pretty.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoyTordesLegend Posted August 11, 2003 Author Share Posted August 11, 2003 ....that person was Das Mole...... Roy, clearly being confused, was not helped by the always confused Das.......who is clinging to his khaki shorts in case Roy tries to pinch them....... .....all of a sudden Ray Jones struts up and says...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ernil Posted August 11, 2003 Share Posted August 11, 2003 no comprendo un postre de pan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alia Posted August 12, 2003 Share Posted August 12, 2003 Captain Andy, who had disappeared partway through this story, reappeared with a mighty BANG! "What is going on here?" she asked incredulously. Without waiting for an answer, she sat herself down and started sipping on a beer. "Whatever you do," she continued, "don't ask me what I endured while posting very, very sparsely for weeks." Here she kicked back and put her feet on the.... table...."It's good to be back home." All at once, Das Mole's precocious kid brother jumped out and said.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoyTordesLegend Posted August 12, 2003 Author Share Posted August 12, 2003 ....Andy I've been lusting after your body for weeks..... .....strangely enough both Ray and Roy said the same thing..... ......Andy wasn't impressed by this though and..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ernil Posted August 12, 2003 Share Posted August 12, 2003 punished them to polishing her shoes for 3 days. No other could polish like the two of them, an Andy knew it. She forced those two to sit down and scrub her new shoes so hard, no one noticed... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoyTordesLegend Posted August 12, 2003 Author Share Posted August 12, 2003 ....that Andy was wearing ONLY her shoes and nothing else.......Ray and Roy were furiously buffing (err...), and ErnilPherianath was trying to confuse Das Mole with some string and a torch.... Andy put her clothes on and the gang decided that enough was enough. Andy had brought some sort of interdimensional transporter ray with her.....almost at once the gang were transported to the pub......everyone decided that it was Das Moles round.....das went to the barkeeper and ordered....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RicardoLuigi... Posted August 12, 2003 Share Posted August 12, 2003 some lemon fanta. after drinking it, they left the bar, and found themselves to be in a very western town, with tumbleweed, saloons and all. a strange cowboy person rode up on his horse and said something like "fhidwiaovopunawookixkenquevfeiao! myrtighaerowequihnyfsavonacafbhifik!!!". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alia Posted August 13, 2003 Share Posted August 13, 2003 "Well, I don't know about y'all," drawled Ray, really getting into the cowboy spirit, "but I could use one too!" So they all went back into the bar and ordered a round of fhidwiaovopunawookixkenquevfeiaomyrtighaerowequihnyfsavonacafbhifik. After that, they began to ponder their existences and the consequent impact on environmental concerns. (Apparently, that was one of the side effects.) So Ernie and Roy went to Kentucky Fried Chicken to get some moist towelettes for Das, while Andy was stuck talking to him and his child freak brother. "Soooo, Das," she began..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoyTordesLegend Posted August 13, 2003 Author Share Posted August 13, 2003 ".....how about you make yourself scarce so I can have a talk with your smooth intelligent talented brother?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arreat Posted August 13, 2003 Share Posted August 13, 2003 And then all of a sudden the narrator, cast and crew suddenly don't know what the f*** is going on. They are lost and have not a clue of what their purpose in this world (thread) is. So now a new journey begins on a quest to find out what they were meant to be/do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RicardoLuigi... Posted August 13, 2003 Share Posted August 13, 2003 exiting the bar, captain andy, das, and his annoying kid brother found it had suddenly become stormy. running towards them were ernil and roy, each with three bags full of moist towelettes. lemon scented moist towelettes. and then, out of the saloon across the street, came martha, obviously furious. without noticing any of the five of them standing there, martha pulled a rip cord coming out of her pocket, inflating her panties. she then pushed up with her legs and began to fly away. but, all of a sudden, a tornado came down upon her. "no!" captain andy screamed. "we have to keep an eye on her!" "wait!" das said. "i have an idea! everybody take some moist towelettes and start opening them." five minutes later... "good. all 6,000 of them are open. when i say 'now', throw the towelettes into the tornado. they'll pick up all of the dirt and dust, and we'll be able to see where martha is!" so... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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