Darth_Yuthura

I just came to realize that one of the greatest compliments anyone could give is 'how do you do it?' I've been saying that a lot haven't I?

I do try to do the same thing... letting something so until I need to deal with it. I work well under pressure, but don't do well in keeping pressure from building up in the first place. I have tried to realize that I waste time by squandering it on short-term desires. The greatest rewards are the ones that are built on the foundation of unpleasant work.

I have never been one of those three. I could exert myself when needed, but often take it easy until the point where it becomes a crisis, but not acting after it is impossible to finish a task. The difference between a task and study is that the task is absolutely done or not. You can always study an extra hour for an exam, but the more you study, the less significant your time is worth.

I am trying to think of the example I created in Yuhtura Ban by thinking and doing what she would do. The issue is that once I becomes fixated with the character, I lose sight of why I thought her up in the first place. Now that I have felt the consequences, I will go into this semester knowing what happened before and avoiding it again.

Well my issue is not paying undivided attention to a professor giving a lecture, it's not having any diversions in my head. When KOTOR was new to me, there was nothing else on my mind. That seemed like nothing because I knew my subjects inside and out... or so I thought.

I really am not able to devote my attention completely on anything w/out distractions to divert my attention. Although I know that there are things I HAVE to do, it doesn't keep thoughts of what I WANT to do from being out of mind.

When I had to finish some semester exams, I completely blocked out SiD from all thoughts, but couldn't just switch it on and off unless under pressure. The goal I have is to act before the pressure builds up and becomes a crisis.

How do you do it?

I will likely not be getting force unleashed because I can't afford to find another time-waster. Games are great, but they ALWAYS only yield short term rewards and I can't have another thing occupying my thoughts.

I think we are much like jedi and sith when it comes to that kind of thing. I actively avoid those kind of things while you conquer those kind of addictions. I guess that when I got KOTOR, that I was exposed to something I never had before and let myself go. You seem to avoid those kind of addictions because you know exactly what you must do before you invest time in games, writing, posting.

Well I am not quite like that. I don't know if I ever give up, but there are times when I understand a subject, but don't know what is important or what the professors will have on exams. I know the subject, but not in great detail.

I am also having difficulty with forums... I've never been on one until three months ago and now have to start limiting how much I use them. I really like talking to you, but I am grasping the fact that you are going to have very little time to be online and that I have to restrict how much time I invest here as well.

It's raining where we are... really need it after the extreme heat of the last month. We are expected to have 80 degree days for another week and slowly see the temperature decline. By January, we see extremes of -10 degrees. I'd rather live in the UK or US west coast.

I also tend to waste time on the computer, but until the last year, I've never really had any games in which to distract my attention. There were times where I was writing SiD when I was getting a C in the class. I just hope that my imagination can be tamed more easily this time around.

Well I've heard stories from my father about many of the students he's encountered at the university. He talks of people who got A's in HS, but lacked the study skills they needed and got C's or lower. I would confirm that when I simply tried to get by, my grades drastically declined. It will require much more effort to just get by than it would in HS. Just keep that in mind and don't underestimate the studying you'll need to invest in your subjects.

I am not saying I think you'll fail or anything, but I have seen people I knew who I believed were brilliant, but they dropped out because they didn't study as hard as they needed to. And I have gone through that as well.

Don't worry about not having enough time to do all that. When you only sleep for 5 hours a night, you've got 19 per day to work with. If you have a job, then that's 11 hours at your disposal!

I know what you mean by that. I already feel bogged down because I've got to accomplish certain goals quickly before they collect on top of all the other problems. I am also going to have to put writing on hold for the time being... and should get offline, but I don't want to lose online friends.

I recently got a new battery for my laptop, so I don't know if it will make my life easier or if I'll just start going online and forgetting my classes. I guess I'm going to have to completely shut it out for a while and get back when I've gotten used to classes.

That's one of the issues I've had over the last two semesters is not aiming to get A's. I am perfectly content with B's, so I've gotten lazy and not towed the mark beyond what was acceptable. Now I have to get used to taking on responsibility again, but don't want to lose whatever online friends I've made.

I don't associate with most people around, but really value having people who I've never met. I don't want to lose any of that, but I am going to have to put it out of my mind if I want to finish this year successfully. I'm going to make this semester the best one I've ever done.

Back online... and away from spatial analysis.

I have only just started and already I'm seeing some long nights ahead of me. I found two internships open for a professor I really like and may fit in nicely both ways.

What's been on your mind?

I have already started becoming addicted to the feeling of drinking one or two shots, but it doesn't do much after that. I cannot escape the irony that you are giving it up while I'm starting to grow dependent on it.

I will keep that from happening because I can only imagine how it must be for you. I realize that it would only get worse, so I will end it now. You are discouraging me from continuing(in a good way)

I'm offline after this, so have a great evening.

We are never the same from one year to the next. It would be understandable to notice a difference, but would you say that you've changed more dramatically than most people do.

I would say I have in the last two years much more significantly than maybe a decade before that. What about your friend? Were you two very close before 4 1/2 years ago?

I had a friend since second grade that joined the military 5 years ago and recently returned. We rarely speak anymore.

I'm glad you didn't. I think that it did have something sensitive, but I would not say it in a sober manner. I'm glad to see you had a good day and recovered a friendship that was lost.

I do want to say how strong you are for trying to give up two terrible habits. I really should be trying to encourage you, but I don't exactly set a good example when I keep trying it.

I've got a class in one hour from now. I will not be online past that. I've also posted 2 chapters to fanfiction.com

How is Sophie today? What do you think of College so far?

That first day may have just been too long, but you get used to having classes spread across an entire day and others where you only need to be there for two hours. I originally thought it was great, but having to go from one location to another and be expected to work for at least 1/1 hours outside of class. That's what I dislike about that kind of educational system.

Yesterday, I sent you one of two personal messages that I request that you not read. It's not like I said anything offensive, I just don't remember what it/they were about. (I got back a grade report from last semester and discovered that I did badly in three classes, so I downed enough 'crown' to try and forget.) I don't remember what I said, but I wouldn't have said it under normal conditions.

I will at least say that I paid the price again, so my shoulder will be reminding me to stay away.

I'm just wondering... Are you simply preoccupied with all your other projects that 'huntress' just hasn't been enjoyable? I really think it has great potential, but it would depend on if you enjoy writing it or simply can't find ideas worth writing on. Do you really enjoy writing that story, or are all your other projects bogging it down?

I know you have many other things on your mind, but really find Huntress to be an original idea and hope you keep pursuing it over other things.

Well I look more at the loss than the gain of losing such idiots from my HS class. I really don't get the feeling of acquaintance that I did before. I am glad that you have at least a few friends that you will keep in contact with after that. I really have nothing left from HS anymore.

Well I guess that you don't care to hear of my problems. I let all that happen and have chosen to not get involved since then. Still, I look at others getting along in life so easily and I can't be a part of it all. The price that comes from being different I suppose.

I won't spoil any more of SiD. I just would have liked any input of criticisms before I posted, but you are a reader as well.

I suppose that the majority of my friendships have collapsed and I don't keep in regular contact with anyone. I have made a few friends at whitewater, but don't often even contact via e-mail or even share a drink at a bar. I guess that it is very demeaning to never come face-to-face with friends anymore.

I also wanted to give another dimension to the sith that does not follow Malak's thinking. Uthar is a true sith, but I think that he would have been able to recognize Yuthura's potential after she had passed beyond ignorance. Alshaff would show up in a later flashback or something to show how she was seduced by with thinking.

I'm trying to show how Yuthura came to Korriban and would have been regarded as weak by other students, but Uthar (using Bandon) would actively watch over her and other fallen jedi because they were ignorant... not weak. Once they learned what they needed, then they were expected to become great sith.

This gives some additional character to Bandon that reflects more of Revan than Malak. I think Bandon was a great character, but he had no depth, so I had him casually address Yuthura. (not to be friendly, but to show he was confident in his abilities) When she acts like a jedi towards him, he quickly changes to a proper sith attitude.

I only had about four friends that came to Whitewater with me, but only one remains and we aren't much more than classmates. I think that the closest friend(s) I have are those online. Although I still keep in contact with people I've known for over a decade, the rift between us has gotten wider and wider.

I don't want to make this transition any more difficult, but realize that there will be a rift that comes between you and everyone you've known for 10 years after high school is out. Unless you actively bridge that gap, those friendships will break apart. Keep them as close as you can as often as you can.

I'm writing a flashback for SiD that involves Yuthura interacting with Darth Bandon before he became Malak's apprentice. I am also turning Uthar into a fairly respectable character by differentiating weakness from ignorance.

If Yuthura were given special dispensation and amenities because she simply wasn't aware of how the sith worked. That would be inverse of her treatment by the jedi dismissing her the second time around. It could also explain how the sith 'seduced' her into wanting to follow their ways. The flashback would likely encompass Alshaff's betrayal and what the situation was with that.

Does this sound like another great irony? the way the sith welcomed her and the jedi scorned her?

I mean the internships. The classes are okay, but could be better.

Most internships involve working with spreadsheets and calculating volumetrics to the depth and width of a valley... very difficult and time consuming... or just counting the number of sewer replays there are in a wilderness and using technology I can't figure out for GPS locations.

I guess geography becomes more difficult as it moves beyond the classroom.

I'm back and already hate my classes.

I have 15 credits in line, but no internships peak my interest. I don't know if I should wait for later, or take something I hate.

How are you now?

Finished with two minutes to spare. I'll be back in about an hour.

Just discovered QFR has a new chapter. I will be reading it, but might not be able to leave a feedback for a while longer. It's not like I was too lazy to even give feedback... it's coming.

Check K3.

I think it was a great add to our other two pieces.

I'll not rush the section.