Darth_Yuthura

Sore throat and sinus congestion.

If I had drank enough water, then I wouldn't be hacking up mucus. I guess that I don't want to say anymore about that.

How was the reuniun?

I've shallowed seroquel. It is a depresant, so I'm a bit sleepy right now.

How does that make you feel.

I'm under the influence of something, so just realize I'm not fully awake right now.

What are you up to at this moment?

I'm going through a powerpoint on deciduous rainforests... dull.

I had been checking this sight every now and again and checked just before you logged on. Then I checked again 45 minutes after that... I need to figure a way to automatically log back when a message comes. When are you getting streaks in your hair tonight? Are you going to your grandparent's 50th anniversary today?

I've got no deadline, but I need to spend a few hours at a nature preserve today or tomorrow. It's difficult to record EVERY tree, seedling, debris, and sapling within a 20 meter area. It's not enough points to be worth it, but too many to lose in the course.

Hello there.

How are things going in Sophie's life? Did you sleep well last night?

Or you can tell me to log off... best choice.

Good evening.

I really am not improved much by writing SiD, but it is a distraction if I have a desire to write for fun while I have real work in front of me. I guess I've learned how to compartmentalize certain thoughts when I am not at liberty to express them.

I also know that this site is an escape that I can't become dependent on. After a summer of almost no restrictions, I've now got to accept that there will be much less time I can squander here.

I'm starting to ramble, so if you want me to shut up, just say so.

Maybe so, but I really am more encouraged because of all this. An advisor said that lucasforums was a great thing and encouraged me to try and escalate the relationship with a person 7 years younger and a quarter of the way across the globe. Sounded great at the time, but then I had to realize she was just telling me what I wanted to hear.

I won't be depending on this site, but I won't just throw it away... it does mean much to me and I can't just shut it out even if I wanted to. I will have to put it out of my mind from time to time though.

Well I should have been working to catch up in my work that's behind schedule, but I really enjoy talking with you more. Once you're asleep, then I can focus on my work.

I also am thinking about how I should be trying to go and meet local women in bars, but I really prefer posting to and fro online with you. I know that I should not sacrifice my time online, but I really value this more than hitting on strange women with nothing worth sharing.

I also am irritated by the upstairs neighbor... everytime he walks across the floor, he pounds his feet like his ankles are broken. I hate that sound.

I think I am truly judgmental when I believe I'm right about a serious issue. I would not complain about what a soldier has done that would be regarded as dishonorable... I never went into Iraq myself, so how could I have the right to judge him?

When it comes to environmental issues and the US economy, then I will be judgmental and relentless. Do you remember when I told about how Bush should be brought up on war crimes in another's post? I believed it entirely because I knew that all the deaths from the Iraq war can't just be overlooked. It was a serious issue and I KNEW that I was right, but my aim was to inform another rather than condemn our commander-in-chief.

I also would be relentless to how the US is using water that will soon be depleted. I have real sources to back my claim, but I don't just judge without realizing why things are the way they are.

If I were going up against another on a subject I don't know well, I simply back down and don't judge... because I can't really object if I am ignorant, myself.

You can complain all you want. Although I don't laugh at knowing someone else is having a true problem, I would like knowing if something is bothering you... rather than getting the signals from posts. I also know that I find it relieving to be able to just say of my problems to anyone... to know I'm not alone.

I suppose I never directly confronted that issue with you.

I can't tell for certain because I consider you a friend and likely would be more likely to overlook a genuine fault and just be silent. Odds are that you may do the same, so I am not a proper judge for that.

If you ask for my opinion anyway... I have not felt that you've been arrogant or irrational about anything I could remember. I haven't gotten any indication that you're judgmental... you're really very supportive and try to understand why I see something differently. I would strongly believe that's important for anyone.

Intelligence is something that can be given at birth, but it must be sustained the older you get.

I would say that I am not nearly as intelligent as I was when I was younger because I didn't hone my mind early in my life. I would say I'm smarter than average, but my potential was far greater if I had started earlier.

If you are going into Psychology, then this should be relevant. Intelligence comes from effort and stressing one's mind regularly. If a VERY smart person were to play video games all the time, but make A's in grade school... he would become senile much sooner if he did not stress his mind regularly. Another person may have to study to earn every grade they got, but by stressing their minds, they improved and sustained his brain.

Although you likely didn't give a damn what they guy said, you should keep in mind that intelligence is a gift, but it must be maintained. You are likely to stay that way because you do keep your mind honed, but realize that while some people are just naturally smart, they MUST work to stay that way. If you stress your mind, realize that it's better to find challenges than to not have to do any work.

I understand, but I think that it's critical that we keep ourselves in the mindset that we are dynamic because of our beliefs. These are supposed to be fixed, but are influenced by what we experience.

In SiD, Yuthura's beliefs were significantly changed because of what she had witnessed in Revan and realized that she didn't believe in the sith ways because she recognized that nothing had changed since she became a sith. If you understand the escalation of commitment, then you would know that it altered her perception of what was right and wrong until she was forced to face why she was on Korriban.

This goes into a very messy issue of people's beliefs, so I'll stop there. I will just say that many people are who they want to be rather than what they should be within their society. The US empire has created many people who are more interested in living a life of luxury than living a sustainable life.

I've not been good with biology... not very good with chemistry or geomorphology either. I can understand the physical causes if I could see it or imagine it directly. Although I know salt is a chlorine and sodium atoms in an ionic bond, I can not really do more than take what I've been told and accept it. When I have to start building upon that and taking more for what I'm told, (as compared to what I can comprehend) it becomes harder to understand more complex ideas.

I think that I'm also analytical, but I don't really hone that talent. I'm not one fore memorizing info, but rather understanding WHY things are. WHY would encompass what is important. If a date is critical to something of WHY, then it is important. Otherwise I don't care for timelines or (I don't even know the years of WWI!) and I read many books on the topic.

I hope that psychology goes well for you because you seem to have all the prerequisites nailed down.

I'm not saying you should hate yourself in order to keep improving.

I recognize that I too had come a long way in the last two-three years. Before that, I was about 90 kilos and frequently unappealing to the opposite sex in almost every regard... I was always kind and gentle to others, but that didn't compensate for how I presented myself to others.

On top of not being committed, confident, or fit, I had few friends simply because I believed that I wanted no part in socializing. The truth was that I knew I had no friends and just convinced myself that it didn't matter. I went through football (never quit, but never advanced from it) and just did what was minimally demanded. I look back and shudder at how superior I felt when I should have been ashamed of myself.

After some critical courses in college, I realized that the world was much more complex than I ever knew and soon saw my flaws as I always should have. Even now, I am still far from where I want to be. I'm proud of how I changed, but realize that I still have a long way to go.

I am glad you are proud of yourself... you should be... but hope that you've still got higher things if the future.

On another topic... have you gotten 'the force unleashed?'

I heard it was very disappointing and unlike KOTOR in almost every way.

I seriously considered taking psychology when I came to Whitewater. I LOVED the classes I've taken in political science and 'world of ideas,' but I realized that I had little talent in labeling complex terminology to specific ideas or in biology.

I would seriously believe that I could be a councilor or therapist, but knew that it would have demanded much more than I was willing to give. I have excellent deductive-reasoning skills, but it does nothing if I can't articulate symptoms or diagnoses properly.

What do you think your greatest skills are within psychology?

"I am who I am. Someone has to be."

I really dislike that statement because it makes it seem like we are all important and that there is nothing wrong with us that needs to change. I believe that it is better when people think poorly of themselves and act to change themselves and improve.

One of the key issues I put in SiD is how guilt is truly a positive attribute. It's painful to feel that emotion, but if it drives a person to act and grow; that's why it's so important. Unfortunately, guilt can often drag down a person into bedlam and he leans to live with it without doing anything about it.

I think that it's important to not demean oneself, but realize that there is a difference between how you are and how you show yourself to others. I am probably very capable and respected in my classes, but I can't socialize with others or really act like a leader when I could. If I were to simply dismiss the idea and think I was fine as I am, then I will never overcome a deficiently that I will have to overcome if I want to go into geography.

Although I respect that you are correct that we be who we choose... not what others expect... we must be able to change ourselves when the situation demands it. I like that I'm different from the rest, but realize that I can't isolate myself or exist with others w/out the ability to blend in or interact. It's not who I am, but I know it must be faced at some point.

Psychology is a two-faced issue for me.

One face is of how experts on the human mind or how individuals act within a society can make people see things that aren't there or make a society ignore a threat that's right in front of them. People like George Bush are pathetic, but when he has the power to control what the media tells people; it's like he can control every American who believes what he says.

The US stock market is crashing because a few CEO's and the press have painted a rosy picture that didn't exist. Because I had more background into economics, I wasn't sold by their artificially inflated figures. Most people in a society can become lemmings if everyone else just goes where they want to or think a certain way.

The issue of the individual in society is almost a separate entity within psychology, so I'll not go further on that.

The other face of the subject is the ability to understand why a person thinks and acts the way they do. Whether it's genetics or one's past, it would seem that anyone could be read if you know them well enough.

I only know what you've chosen to tell me, but I feel like I know you fairly well. I would not bet that I TRULY know half of you because it all depends on what there is to know about you. I have given away certain things, but it could easily be lies that I've told you all this time.

This is the limiting factor for psychology is the lack of information or misinformation that could throw everything off. The more you know of a person, the more accurate the understanding, but it could cut both ways and mislead you completely.

I think that it would be nice if you could find a historic figure of whom you could admire... possibly emulate. Many in the US think highly of Wiston Churchill and often describe historic figures as being the 'churchill or their day'. Does he mean anything to you?

I really don't look so highly upon others and act as they would, but I can admire qualities that I would like to have. Ghengis Khan was a historic figure that is regarded as an evil man, but I could still admire him for certain deeds without considering the massive slaughters he's waged.

Although I think it's nice to create our own ideal selves, I think that it's important that we be able to emulate real people in order to accurately know how we compare ourselves to what others see.

I admit that I look up to you fairly often. I relish speaking to you because I don't feel like I have to adjust anything I say... I speak very differently to people based on whether they are mentors, simplistic friends, or people I simply respect.

I am quite surprised that I can talk about anything/everything and not really have on the back of my mind that I'm addressing someone much younger than I am. You say many people claim to speak like an adult; that's how I think of you.

This isn't just flattery... not entirely. I really value having you to talk to because there are few people who I look up who are near my age. When you spoke your recent words of wisdom or self-confidence... that's like what one of my grandfathers would have said. That's what I meant by that comment earlier.

My mother's father was also unique compared to most. He was almost an inverted mirror of my other grandfather. He loved his work(which went from teaching, coaching, and construction) At 85, he was still building houses and was more fit than most in their 50's. He was always very alive and active before he retired in his 90's.

After that, he rapidly went from being so physically strong to losing all his mobility. He died two years after retiring, but it was under the best conditions. Without his work, life was not worth living for him.

He was the luckiest man on the planet when it came to violating safety. He never broke a bone despite decades of risk-taking and reckless actions. He wasn't as gifted, but was very respectable to everyone he knew.

Simply to make conversation, I think you would find something interesting about my Father's father... during his funeral, there were dozens of people who delivered stories that were very memorable.

I told everyone that since I never saw my grandfather during his working years, I got most info from secondhand sources. He was one who could be in a tolerable state. When happiness was abundant, he cherished it; when life seemed to abandon him, he embraced what little happiness there was to hold. My speech at his wake was second only to one who really mattered to him at the end.

She spoke of a religious story where Jesus and a follower were walking side by side. At one point, there was only one set of footprints in the sand. Jesus said "That's when I carried you during your struggles."

What my grandfather said to that... "That's the worst story I've ever heard!"

This was really coming from nowhere, but I wanted to just share a bit of an important person from my life. My grandfather wasn't carried like the one in the story... he fought to walk again after a stroke and proved exactly why that was the worst story he ever heard.

I really see a lot of him in what you've told me recently.

Which grandparents are you visiting?

My Father's parents had their 50th... about the time you were born. They reached their 59th and lived to see one of their daughters die. (my aunt Susan) It was difficult to see my Grandfather cry over the loss of his daughter. Susan and my grandmother died about the same time.

Tell me of your grandparents... anything that you would say make them unique individuals?