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Christmas looms, and STILL no new threads.


Yufster

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It is time we all received a kick in our collective butts. Why, you ask? Well, I will tell you why. Right after I tell you all this cool and awesome stuff I have to tell you!

 

I am getting an Xbox! Although the Naked Lady Giveaway ended many months ago, so there goes THAT plan. But this is good news, which you will enjoy, because you will know another human being is being happy and excited and you will feel a swell of joy and goodwill toward me. Because, isn't that... uh... Christmas is.... about good spirits and... and also spirits of the past... and... Alcohol type spirits... so....

 

Oh man, this is hard. Look, I know we haven't talked in a while, but I've been really busy. Why are you looking at me like that? Okay, let me try some more ice-breaking.

 

Well, there is more news, although I am not entirely sure if it is good or bad. It seems that The Self Aware Double Fine Action News (I never stray far from the fact, do I?) has a cousin.

 

Now, about that collective butt-kick. You and me, we have always been good friends, right? When we are together we laugh and share and skip along together in slow motion with our arms linked, with that really awesome fadey-screen effect that really bad movies (And Sitcoms) use for dream sequences.

 

But now, you have borrowed my sneakers and gotten them all soaked in your foot juice. How am I supposed to forgive you now? Why would you do that? Don't you value our friendship?

 

Why must you hurt me so?

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I refuse to get an Xbox until good games are released for it, like ones called Psychonauts, or Broken Sword 3. I will insert Psychonauts and play it until the machine can take no more, splintering the disc into razor-sharp shards and firing them across the room like the big lethal bits of DVD that they, quite literally, are, or will be, once it happens.

 

Skilfully evading certain death (although any enemies who happen to be in the room at the time will not be so lucky), I will then connect up to Xbox Live and swear a lot, which seems to be the "in" thing with the kids of today. The swearing I mean, not the evading certain death bit.

 

Following this my life will be complete, although I will have to find a use for several million razor-sharp, possibly blood-stained Psychonauts-disc pieces. Suggestions on a postcard to:

 

Huz

Space City 5

Bolton

Lancs

 

Oh, and where should I hide the bodies of my slain enemies? I'd try under the patio, but I think it's been done. TIA.

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