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Guest Rogue

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Guest Rogue

is there any messeges out there that have alot of Replys that stay on the subject all the time!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!? smile.gif

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Guest Imladil

Sure.

 

Not this time, however. This thread has just changed into an add-on type story. The rules (if there truly are any) are simple: work with what's been written before, and no trying to end the story till it's truly over. I'll start.

 

Once upon a time, Luke Skywalker was walking to the bank, when a large, dark shadow fell over the sun. He turned in horror to see...

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Guest The Master

But I would say this topic might last up to one or two weeks, maybe. So, thanks for posting another topic. The message board needs it!

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Guest Shootist

Sure ROGUE...we just all have A.D.D and...

 

...to see Darth Shootist screening the previews of the Dukes of Hazard for his buddies, however, the Space Nazis break in and arrest the clutch of n'er do wells just because they think Daisy Duke is gonna show Boss Hogg more than road dust from her rearview. Space Nazis are a clan of perverted

Jedi who've gone over the the almost-but-not-quite-dark side. smile.gif

 

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VERY FUNNY SCOTTY, now please beam down my PANTS!!!

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Guest Chillin

...Seeing this Luke reached out with the force to Darth Shootist, using telepathy Luke told Shootist to use the force do a Vulcan Death Grip to all of the Space Nazis. After completeing this task Shootist and his buddies saw Kasan Moor, they whipped out their lightsabers and...

 

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"Tis easier to ask forgiveness than permission."

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Guest Imladil

A.D.D.? Can I have Tourette's syndrome, please? I've always wanted an excuse for acting this way. biggrin.gif

 

...killed themselves rather than face the horror of seeing her feeding frenzy firsthand. Kasan popped their still-twitching corpses into her slobbering maw like yesterday's bon-bons, then thundered down the street in search of an all-night doughnut shop.

 

Meanwhile, Luke and Shootist were magically resurrected by Yoda, who handed them boxes of exploding twinkies.

 

"Okay," said Yoda, "Here's the plan..."

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Guest Chillin

I knew Kasan was sick but I never thought she'd resort to cannibalism. biggrin.gif

 

"Here's the plan, SHOOTIST you take the twinkies and lay a trail of them from the doughnut shop Kasan went into to that warehouse. Then make sure Kasan follows the trail, but stay out of sight." "While you're doing that Luke and myself will fill the warehouse with explosives, as soon as Kasan is in there we will detonate the twinkies by remote."

"I NEED MORE DOUGHNUTS!!!!!!!!"

"There's Kasan and she sounds hungry, Luke, you and Yoda get going I'll start with the twinkies."

 

As SHOOTIST was laying the twinky trail a shadow fell over him, he turned to see...

 

------------------

"Tis easier to ask forgiveness than permission."

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Guest The Master

And there stood Kasan. But where was The Master and IMLADIL?

They was currently missing from the scene, or were they just hiding in wait.

SHOOTIST had to act fast.

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Guest Imladil

*Zzzzzz--!* Huh? What?

 

Imladil appears in the middle of the doughnut-strewn street with a flash of magic pixie dust, wearing a bright green leisure suit from Coruscant and still drunk from the celestial wowzer (a drink) in his left hand. It is the contents of his right hand, however, which give Kasan pause: a giant bottle of Malastarian diet pills.

 

"You see this, you heaving b***h? Enough uppers to give you the metabolism of a kangaroo rat! You would lose your evil mass power, not to mention look real silly."

 

Kasan roars in fury, recoils from the bottle like a vampire facing a silver crucifix dipped in garlic and holy water. Meanwhile, the unnoticed Shootist has had time to finish his task. He...

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Guest The Master

Shootist got to the ware house and finished laying the twinky trail to the explosives.

 

Then Imladil disapears with an evil laugh and kasan looks around in confusion. Then desides to continue following the twinky trail. She makes her way into the ware house shoving the twinkys violently into her mouth.

 

Shootist watches her enter the ware house and gave a silent laugh. But the Master was STILL missing. His part of the plan would come in soon. Kasan finally reached the explosives and ate one mistaking it as a twinky.

 

Suddenly it seemed as if she exploded. There was smoke every where! Then the smoke slowly settled....

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Guest Chillin

And the MASTER appeared, a light saber in each hand. "Your rein of terror is over Kasan, consider yourself dead!"

"You don't frighten me scum! I eat whole Hutts for breakfast!"

"Not even a Hutt desirves that! You disgust me!"

"Enough talk! I'm hungry and the last Jedi I ate were delicious!"

Kasan tried bodyslams and throws, but MASTER was too guick. However, MASTER didn't have much luck either, his lightsabers could not cut through her blubber!

 

Meanwhile, Luke, Yoda, and Shootist sat outside. "We can use the Jedi Battle Meditation you taught me Master Yoda, suggested Luke."

"Yes Luke work that will. Now have to act fast we will...

 

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"Tis easier to ask forgiveness than permission."

 

[This message has been edited by Chillin (edited June 09, 2000).]

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Guest Shootist

Hey folks,what did Kasan say when she say that light sword battle in the Phantom Menace Ep I?..... "FoOoOoOD FiIiIiGhT!!!"

 

...just as Master saw that Kason's blubber was just too much for his cutlery, the exploding twinkie went off. BOOOOP.

 

The smoke hung still and putridly stagnate air. Had she survived? A tiny breath of wind started to part the stench filled bog...BUUUUURRRRRRRPPPPP! She had survived.

 

Shootist and the Chil Meister began to chant,"Nam myo ho Reng Ge Ko," and light the incense. The little sticks of fragrance blew slowly in Kasan's direction. A finger of the aroma trail tickled her nose, she twiched once, then shuddered violently...convulsions followed...rapid breathing...Could it be? Was Kasan reacting to something as peaceful as burning incense? "War of the Worlds" deja vu?...........

The hopeful duo cried out to IMLADIL and MASTER..OH BROTHERS COME AND SEE! COME AND SEE! Surely you will not want to miss this! MASTER and IMLADIL revealed themselves from the fogbank...."YO our fellow Knight type dudes," they bellowed, "We scored some more incense and.......

 

[This message has been edited by Shootist (edited June 09, 2000).]

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Guest Imladil

"...sent Kasan directly to the sixth loka, that of the preta or 'unhappy ghosts.' She won't bother us again."

 

Yoda appears, floating in midair. "Oh, no...did you send her to another sphere of existance, my sons?"

 

Shootist and Chillin both say, "Yes. So?"

 

Yoda shakes his head sadly. "The sheer mass of that heinous b***h will force open the gates of hell and visit unspeakable horrors upon us. Quickly, we must draw pentagrams and send her all the way out of this universe altogether...!"

 

Imladil looks astonished. "So there's more than just this universe?"

 

Yoda ignores him. "You digress. Go to the store and get me some glow-in-the-dark chalk. Chillin, you block off the sidewalk with ropes. Shootist, you mix the drinks...and Luke, you guard something. That tree over there, maybe."

 

The Master runs eagerly to the Jedi master. "What should I do?"

 

"Go see if this works." Yoda gestures, and The Master vanishes in a puff of smoke, on his way to unknown dimensions...

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Guest The Master

Shootist went and quickly mixed the drinks. Perfectly without spilling.

 

Chillin went and quickly fixed the ropes over the side walks sealing off the area so no one could enter.

 

Imladil watched them do both of these tasks done with Yoda, Luke, The Chil Meister.

 

Imladil then suddenly asked Yoda, "Where did the Master go?"

 

Yoda then answered "He has gone to the dimension that Kason has gone. There he shall see if succeded. If not, we will have to come up with a greater plan."

 

"Like what?" asked Imladil.

 

"We shall have to see...."

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Guest Rogue

Mean while in a different dimension the Master finds Kasan traing a whole army of Kasan clones.He sees them learning tatics like Blubber hug!! He quikly disapears in a poof of smoke back to his dimension, But something goes wrong and he is sent is to some place with a bunch of squishy and slimy Puke Balls. Mean while Yoda is Drawing flowers with golw-in-the-dark chalk and daydreaming. luke is keeping a watchful eye on those trees,making sure they don't do any sudden moves and chillin trying to untangle himself from the ropes.

 

 

INTERMISSION

 

 

12 hours later

everybody is doing the same things Yoda drawing Chillin trying to untangle himself and Luke whatching the trees... They have the slightest bit of worry, even though the Master hasn't been back for 20 hours. 9you goota feel sorry for Chillin stuck in thos ropes for 20 hours!!!)

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Guest The Master

The Master seemed to be lost in the world of "puke balls" He ran for what seemed for ever. There seemed to be no way out, but then he saw a strange light. So he obviosly ran for it. When he got to it he found that it was some sort of energy gate. He than stepped into it and was rushed through time and space back to the rest of his party.

 

Yoda looked up to see The Master shot out of a blue portal. The Master got up and walked over to Yoda. "How long have I been gone?"

 

"Almost a full day. We are all prepared. What hath thou seen." Was Yoda's answer.

 

"Well you better be ready. Kason got something ready for us and it is no Birth Day presant. You had best be right." replied the Master.

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Guest Imladil

Unable to find glow-in-the-dark chalk, Imladil instead brings Yoda a lump of plutonium.

 

"Excellent," says Yoda, drawing the pentagram on the sidewalk. "Now we just need a dodo bird to sacrifice in the middle, and we can get this over with."

 

Chillin and Shootist exchange puzzled glances. Luke untangles himself from the ropes and promptly falls into the storm drain. "There are no dodos on this world," says The Master. "We...um...killed them all."

 

Yoda turns his ears down in annoyance. "No more dodos, eh? How about a passenger pigeon, or maybe a giant moa? Either would suffice."

 

"Nope," says Imladil, "All extinct. I could get you a chicken, if that would work."

 

"Your planet is screwed," says Yoda. "There is no way to stop Kasan Moor from..."

 

[This message has been edited by Imladil (edited June 11, 2000).]

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Guest The Master

Yoda paused for a moment and then decided to end the uncomplete sentence. "Now there is no way to save this universe. Now look what you foolish people did with your unthoughtful actions. Do you see what one thing can do, it can change the entire universe.

 

"Ummm... Is there any other way we could exterminate her." Imaldil said quickly.

 

"If the Master is correct about Kason has something ready for us, there is no hope." Yoda then walked a few feet away from Imladil and sat down throwing a fit.

 

Then The Master spoke up "Well it looks like it is up to us. Imladil, get your X-Wing, Luke you can come if you want, Chillin you get your A- Wing, Shootist- Shootist what do you drive."

 

"What ever I want."

 

"Oh. And I'll get my V- Wing and lets be off."

 

So they all went off to there ships were off. As soon as they were off the planet they saw something in space floating towards the brave pilotes....

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Guest Rogue

They see......A HUGE SHIP SHAPED LIKE KASAN!!!!!!!

Everybody goes into hyperdrive. They land on a moon covered with Imperials. They ask the Imperials to help them destroy the Kasan mobile space craft and the Imperials except. The Imperials were secretly making a third DeathStar. The Imperial plan is for the Gang to lead Kasan into the 3rd Deathstars double gaint laser so that the laser can shoot the craft.

 

INTERMISSION

 

While they are on there way they meet an E-Wing(it is a real craft from one of the books) they ionize it to find a willing man that is called Rouge. Rouge wants to help them attack Kasan's ship!! They all charge there Lasers and load there Missiles.

 

Meanwhile

 

They lead Kasan's ship into range of the DeathStar3's laser beam. And the Imperials shoot the laser. Unfurtunaly they "bluber" of Kasan's ship reflects it and the DeathStar BLOWS up!! The four attackers attempt to find a weak ness in Kasan's ship. Fortunaly they find a weak ness it is a tiny switch that deactivatse the "bluber" everybody's lasers are spread to far apart except Rogues,because he has 1 laser in the middle of they craft. he hits the ship and they quikly scramble away. The "bluber" collapses and squishes all the insides of the ships the party celebrates by blowing up the rest of the Imperials and flying through Kessel's mines!

 

THE END (or is it???)

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Guest Imladil

ON KESSEL:

 

Shootist and Imladil are standing watch by the new Rogue Squadron hidden base, having a beer and roasting a wild dodo over the fire.

 

There are rumored to be Imperial death ninjas still lurking deep in the mines, waiting for a chance to come forth and slash the tires on our starfighters (making it impossible for us to take off.)

 

The Rogue compound, which used to be the bonus bunker set in the cliff back by the furthest prison, is overlooked by the burned-out shell of a missile turret--proof that Chillin did indeed figure out how to use the A-wing's sensor-jamming package.

 

Shootist peers suddenly into the distance. "You see that?"

 

Imladil gets out the binoculars he beat up Luke for, focuses on a ditant orange mountain. "Holy crap! It's a..."

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Guest Rogue

This place ain't Kessel this is a Gaint Kasan rolled up into a ball that looks like Kessel eek.gif. Rogue appears in front of them.

Shootist asks"Where did you come from?"

"I was just bunjy jump So"

Well we are on Kasan right now. We saw a mountain that had Kasan's face on it!!

 

We need a plan and cann't go on any planets.Kasan ate Kessel.

 

Well we could lead her to bespin or Hoth so she cold freeze/ inhale to much gas. WIAT SCRACTH THAT mad.gif

 

What should we do the Bespin one , man it would stink after that.

 

We could fly in her to blow her brain up!?!?!?

 

Well that might work........

 

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Remeber you only have 1 Life, use it well!!!(I felt like saying that)

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Guest Shootist

"Worry too much you do,um-hum." Yoda mumbles. "Have I here the cure I do," he coughs." Stridex medicated pads! Try them and Kasan will shrink like the zit bag she is,Think I.un-hum."

"Look!" exclaimed MASTER,"a post card from Chillin with ancient roons(sp) of hemoroid shrinkage. Perhaps if we follow the cryptic scribes we can minimize her further!!"

IMLADIL,dips his pinkey in the extra dry martini he has been nursing..."Let her suck this green olive from this martini," he offered,"look at the pucker it has put on Lukes face."

Rogue, not to be outdone, suggests,"you know that incense SHOOTIST and somebody let Kasan snort? What effect would it have on US? Perhaps the same effect eh? I think it's worth a try!" Without thought for his own safety,Rogue the Brave whips out his zippo and fires that stick of incense right up! SKNORK!..SMNIFF..Wooooof.....He twitches, shudders, convulses....and slowly, slowly begin to grow.....

 

 

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VERY FUNNY SCOTTY, now please beam down my PANTS!!!

 

[This message has been edited by Shootist (edited June 12, 2000).]

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Guest Shootist

Now, are some of those weasels pink and some green, or are they like pink and green individuals. It's crutial because the Weasel Off I have only works on one type of varmit. biggrin.gif

 

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VERY FUNNY SCOTTY, now please beam down my PANTS!!!

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