milkshake Posted December 17, 2000 Share Posted December 17, 2000 Well, I just got off a 9 hour flight to florida and it sucked, putting me in the mood to design a new airline, (All rules here show relevance to my experience Shakey Air Rules: 1) Sit in your seat, calmly, quietly and keep still, do not kick the seat in front. 2) If whoever may be behind you starts kicking your seat, you may (You are encouraged) to shout "Stop Kicking my Bloody chair!" (Those who put this phrase into a good Michael Caine impression will be given a tenner) 3) If you are seated in Bog standard class (Economy) you must not in anyway block the projection screen for more than five seconds. 4) If somebody ahead is blocking the large screen in Bog standard class, use the Handgun provided under your seat to aim for what ever part of the body is blocking the screen and shoot, even if you are not watching whetever tripe is on there. Do not worry about shooting a hole in the plane, All shakey Air planes are amour plated. 5) In the event of an emergency landing first put on the yellow life vest, it will make finding your body much easier. then put your head between your legs and kiss you're ass goodbye. ------------------ Self proclaimed Forum Drunk milkshake@milkshake.co.uk I Rock (English for I have an Ego the size of a small country, like Luxumboug, or Vietnam) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Sceltor Posted December 18, 2000 Share Posted December 18, 2000 You forgot the option to eject other passengers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keyan Farlander Posted December 18, 2000 Share Posted December 18, 2000 I fly quite a lot, and I don't find the flights to be nearly as bad as the rest of it. Delays, cancellations, and all that. I was once stuck in the Toronto airport for 26 hours. I was sick as a dog the whole time, too. And there was this little kid who kept chewing on my shoe while I was trying to sleep. I kicked him in the face, but he just laughed at me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commander 598 Posted December 18, 2000 Share Posted December 18, 2000 Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown BUT, it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and *****-slap the mother@#%$ upside the head... ------------------ "Growing Older is Mandatory, Growing Up is Optional." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jem Posted December 18, 2000 Share Posted December 18, 2000 When I'm in a plane, I can't stand it when the guy in front of me leans his chair and takes all my free space and I also can't stand it when I'm unable to lean my chair because of the guy behind me. ------------------ I don't fear death because if It happens to me I won't have to worry about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Sceltor Posted December 18, 2000 Share Posted December 18, 2000 I've never flown. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milkshake Posted December 18, 2000 Author Share Posted December 18, 2000 Lucky you ------------------ Self proclaimed Forum Drunk milkshake@milkshake.co.uk I Rock (English for I have an Ego the size of a small country, like Luxumboug, or Vietnam) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nute Gunray Posted December 18, 2000 Share Posted December 18, 2000 I will personally blow up every one of your airliners when its still at the gate. Then at my trial, I won't be convicted because the jury will agree that the passengers were better off dead than having to fly on your suck ass airline ------------------ I have a life, but I feel mostly dead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Sceltor Posted December 18, 2000 Share Posted December 18, 2000 Ouch Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admiral Odin Posted December 18, 2000 Share Posted December 18, 2000 but what if those passengers were going to England to hurt milkshake, then killing them would help him. ------------------ "Dulce bellum inexpertis." (Sweet is war to those who have never experinced it.) Roman Proverb Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Sceltor Posted December 18, 2000 Share Posted December 18, 2000 Violence towards milkshake is not the answer. We must rig all of the airliners with nukes set to detonate upon landing so the entire British Isle gets destroyed!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Thrawn Posted December 18, 2000 Share Posted December 18, 2000 I saw the Toronto airport when I went last summer Didn't stop or anything. Traffic their is bad, but still not as bad as the beltway ------------------ "Noobies Suck" ThRaWn90,RAL_Thrawn,SOB_Thrawn Rogue 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milkshake Posted December 18, 2000 Author Share Posted December 18, 2000 Blow up the uk?? Why bother?! It'll be underwater by round about lunchtime anyway, lucky I'm not there, now I'm in FLORIDA!! And Nute, you can have free non-bog class seats(First Class) if you don't blow my planes up, I plan to have brand new Shiney Airbus Double deckers ------------------ Self proclaimed Forum Drunk milkshake@milkshake.co.uk I Rock (English for I have an Ego the size of a small country, like Luxumboug, or Vietnam) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JR2000Z Posted December 18, 2000 Share Posted December 18, 2000 I had a captian who said if we needed to smoke during flight, we needed to step outside and do it. [This message has been edited by JR2000Z (edited December 17, 2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commander 598 Posted December 18, 2000 Share Posted December 18, 2000 I think I remeber telling some jerk that... ------------------ "Growing Older is Mandatory, Growing Up is Optional." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JR2000Z Posted December 18, 2000 Share Posted December 18, 2000 Im not kidding. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taarkin Posted December 18, 2000 Share Posted December 18, 2000 I had to fly alone when I was like 8 years old. At least it wa sonly an hour flight. On second thought, I wasn't really alone; there were pilots and waitresses and stuff too. Just no one I knew. ------------------ Was I supposed to eat the heads too? 'Cause I took nooo prisioners! Once again, evil is defeated through the use of decorative agricultural technology! Official forum Psychic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Rune Haako Posted December 18, 2000 Share Posted December 18, 2000 I'd be the jackass to request a seat in front of one of the emergency exits, then put my feet up when the plane is going down. But, that's just me . . . ------------------ Bomb Squad leads the way! HUA! Bow down before the Overlord of Large Fonts! Proud member of the TZG--Forum Time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zargon Posted December 18, 2000 Share Posted December 18, 2000 Airbus sucks my balls! Boeing is the way to go, 777 all the way!! And NO AIRPORT is busier than MY AIRPORT, O'HARE, and yes, its MINE. Ok well not really, but I was just remebering the funny Irish bloke in Braveheart Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jem Posted December 18, 2000 Share Posted December 18, 2000 Boeing 777 is nothing compared to the 747. 747 all the way! ------------------ I don't fear death because if It happens to me I won't have to worry about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K_Kinnison Posted December 18, 2000 Share Posted December 18, 2000 i allways forget to return the Stewardess to her full locked and upright position upon landing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flying Beastie Posted December 19, 2000 Share Posted December 19, 2000 "Shakey Airline." Yeah, that's a name that inspires confidence. ------------------ Paranoia is good. At least you think they're paying attention to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Thrawn Posted December 19, 2000 Share Posted December 19, 2000 Didn't I tell you to clean up your toys after you're done with them? ------------------ "Noobies Suck" ThRaWn90,RAL_Thrawn,SOB_Thrawn Rogue 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest P3X-8472 Posted December 19, 2000 Share Posted December 19, 2000 Well i dont bother to fly, as i use something called a ferry, which takes cars to and from dover to calais, and all true brits knows what comes from calais Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zargon Posted December 19, 2000 Share Posted December 19, 2000 the 777 is 100 million times better than the 747, I think GUNDOG will back this one up, it is the premiere airliner these days, their are no better plains...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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