Anti-Tim RPG

[Mashi An'krekku]

Mashi became logical all of the sudden. "Ave, there's a internet crisis going! And you're going to look up google on google!? Dude, I could've told you what google was. Or a google. Which is a really long number beginning in 1 and has one hundred zeros trailing behind it like eggs to Yoshi."

 

Then she realized something. Her tail twitches when she realizes something, plus she gets that "OHSH33T!" expression on her face.

 

"Did we make that journey to Smon's thread yet?"

"No," someone said.

"Well ****, man. Let's go do that."

 

THEY WENT ON A LONG PERILOUS JOURNEY TO THE LEGENDARY KINGDOM OF H-ANN ...I MEAN THEY TOOK A BRISK WALK SMON'S THREAD. [stupid lack of strike-through tags.]

 

"HI SMON!" Mashi shouted unnecessarily. "Sorry, we're late. But we're here now so get to debreifing. Even though we already have a vague idea what's going on. But go ahead and tell us your plan."

 

Steve was there.

 

"DAMMIT STEVE!"

[DarthAve]

"OK! Let me google image search some weapons for us!" She typed in weapons into the search bar and pulled out a flamethrower, a few bombs, and some weapons from Halo 2. "I'm so set!" Ave yelled, holding a covenent carbine.

[Smon]

(Actually I think there are delicious doughnuts strike-through tags...)

 

Smon was sitting in his thread waiting for someone to read it. It said:

 

"Okay, here's the plan:

 

Step 1:Find the Weinermobile

Step 2:?

Step 3:Stop Anti-Tim"

[Miss_Mayhem]

Mayhem googled herself some pics of kickass guns. Afterall, who needs courage when you have a glock? Stuffing her guns and katanas into a backpac she had googled as well, she turned to Smon, "Okay, shouldn't we teleport to San Fran then? The disembodied voice said we could and thats where DF studios is."

[DarthAve]

"Already there." Ave said, dressed in SPARTAN armor. "I even have Cortana!" She yelled. Ave popped out of the internet and out of the computer at Doublefine's headquarters. Then, Scott Cambell walked by.

 

"uh, I think your looking for Bungie's headquarters." he said to Ave. She pulled out her energy sword and stabbed him. "That's for straying off storyline in recent updates. I wanna hear more about captain." she said, walking off.

[Mashi An'krekku]

[Agh! The dreaded s! Thanks Smon. If only there were scantly clad amazon women delicious donuts.]

 

Mashi googled her friend Lena. "Lena's here because I can't kick ass and she can. She's a demon."

"Chyeah. I can use magic and summon zombies and junk."

"Demons vs. the other kind of evil. It'd totally work."

"Or," the lemur continued. "We might team up and destroy all good video games ever."

 

And awkward silence. Mashi burst out laughing.

 

"Yeahhh, that'd never happen. You're generally light-hearted, Lena."

"Hehe, yeah." To her dismay, Mashi was still laughing. "Shut up, Pinky."

[St. Jimmy]

Jimmy finally followed Mashi to Smon (He got sidetracked once or six times on the way) and was falling in love with Ave 'cause of all the HALO loving that was going on, When he suddenly realised Mayhem's old Avatar was back! "YAY!!!" he screamed like only a deranged saint can. Googeling DragonBallZ He empowers himself (joking joking) But anyway, He' stocking up with even MORE HALO weapons (and Billie Joe's electric guitar 'Blue') When he see's a fly and gets distracted, and while wandering off says absentmindedly "I'm ready to go when you B****es are..."

[Miss_Mayhem]

"Hey, wait up for me you guys!" Mayhem yelled as she saw someof her friends fade away. Pouting, Mayhem checked her backpack quickly, "Kay, katana, dagger, glock, spitting-hydra from R&C, ammo, 5 medpacks, hmm...I should bring a laptop if we need to get somewhere on the go..." And so she did. But that didn't mean she knew how to teleport.

 

"Need some help?" The disembodied voice teased. Before Mayhem could snap back though, she felt the world give way beneath her feet, ("Hurry up Jimmy!") and a large room full of computers and Pnauts memorobilia faded into view. She stumbled before she fully realized where she was. DF studios!!!

 

"You're finally here," Avery said. Mayhem nodded and looked around,

 

"Is this everyone so far? Shouldn't there be more people here?"

 

Avery shrugged, "Some poeple dont bother to check their PM's. Who's still missing anyways?"

 

Mayhem counted on her fingers, "Well, Smon is missing and Jimmy is on his way...someone's coming"

 

"Who's there?" a strange voice asked, Mayhem craned her head and saw a redheaded man who looked alot like Fred stare back. "Are...are you supposed to be our fans?"

 

"yup" Avery nodded. The man groaned, "We have a sexy pandagirl and a vampire..elf...thing...but we still need more"

 

At that, Avery reached for her sword, and Mayhem bared her teeth,"I'M NOT A VAMPIRE! It just happens that us elves have pointy teeth, kay? Ande besides, some other people are on the way"

 

The man shrugged, "If thas' what ya say. My name's Manny, see? your's?"

 

"Avery," Avery grumbled.

 

"Call me Mayhem," the elfgirl said.

 

"Your plan?" Manny asked tartly, "Do you have one?"

 

"Hmm?" Avery turned "Oh, Smon is working on it. So far we have 'Step 1:Find the Weinermobile, Step 2...um? and Step 3:Stop Anti-Tim.'

 

Manny sighed and slapped his forehead with his palm, "...great, wayda go, Tim...ya know, if you needed help planning this out, you coulda PMed Tim for intel and help and stuff."

 

That called for a chibi-moment.

 

(St Jimmy and ja'll better hurry up, this Manny d00dR is a jerk!)

[St. Jimmy]

"Ha ha! vampire!" Jimmy laughed only to be looked at evily by Mayhem.

"Well, I'm here now.. so... Hey a new guy!" *Looks and points*

*Get's filled in on the situation by Avery*

"Hmmm... Pizza..."

[Miss_Mayhem]

Manny groaned, "nNw we have a guy with wings...we have the weirdest fans..."

 

Mayhem smirked, "Just wait till you see Mashi and Pyramid-Head!"

 

"Whatsi and who-head?"

 

the 3 just rolled their eyes.

 

(w00t! this is my 200th post! Can I get a wh00p-wh00p?)

[Smon]

Suddenly one of the computer screens glowed and a DF worker ran from it screaming, Smon leaped out yelling. "I'm here too! Yay for me!"

[Mashi An'krekku]

Mashi stumbled through the portal, landing face down on the ground (like Tony in the Mark an' Tony intro, still smiling and everything) while Lena flew in all graceful-like, because she had wings and could do that.

 

"Mashi, where's Pyramid Head?" Mayhem asked. "And who's THIS?"

"I introduced you guys to Lena like TWO MINUTES AGO."

"Oh."

"As for PH, I have NO IDEA."

The lemur was still floating nearby, looking around the offices of Double Fine. "Nice place you got. When can I summon a legion of the undead?"

"No, Lena."

"D'awwww."

[St. Jimmy]

*While playing 'Blue'* "So, what do you guys wanna do while we wait?"

"I suggest something with kittens"

[Miss_Mayhem]

Manny groaned once more, "A catgirl, a lemur, and another otherwise normal dude jumping out of the DF PCs...we have to work on our target audiences...alot..."

 

Everyone glared daggers into Manny, who didn't seem to care a single bit. Just then, a frazzled looking woman with red hair scrambled in, "Bad or good news, take your pick, but the Weinermobile has been spotted by the docks!"

 

Smon cried, "To the Anti-Tim mobile!"

 

Did that happen? No.

 

Avery rolled her eyes,"We never googled one, 'member? And besides, Pyramid's still not here."

 

Another one of the PC screens glowed, and something leapt out. No, not Pyramid. "Ow!' Mayhem yelled as she felt a dull pain hit her back and force her to the floor. Getting up, she saw a rock with a smiley face on the ground next to her,"...Dammit, Steve's here!"

 

That prompted Mashi to yell, 'NOOOOOOO!!!!!!'. Mayhem threw Steve to the ground, "Well, as soon as Pyramid gets here and we kill Steve, we should find a way to the docks. Wanna split a cab?"

[KingCheez]

Pyramid Head googled for twin spears and another Great Knife in the mean time, and he dragged both spears along over to the gang. "Grhgrhg," he said. Another Pyramid Head had been googled out too.

[Miss_Mayhem]

"THAT'S Pyramid-Head?" Manny gasped. The gang snickered at his shock. Pyramid seemed ready to dice Manny up into little peices with his sword, but was stopped by Mashi, "Later, we have a cab to split and a Weinermobile to catch."

 

Mayhem nodded, "That's everyone, then. Heyyy...since he knows more about this freak car then us, shouldn't we get the chance to talk to Shafer himself?"

[Mashi An'krekku]

"Right..." Manny stood around for a moment and coughed only once. "Follow me."

 

They walked past many cubicles, walls covered in pictures of the MOST EXCELLENT GAME and people who waved until they stopped on a great door, designed with carvings of past Schafer characters in almost a cathedral-ish style.

 

"Nice door," Lena said almost sarcastically. Or maybe it was. "When do we get in?"

"Um...doorbell!" Manny pushed a button on the side of the door that made a weird *didllililililDING-DOOOONG!* sound.

 

"IN A MINUTE! Geez." *thud* "Damn footstool." *click click* *door opening noise* "Hey, Manny...these the LFRD guys?"

"Sure is!"

"Sweet! Come on in guys, I got hot cocoa and cookies."

[DarthAve]

Ave then appeared in front of everyone, 5 shades oranger.

 

"You look like a brunette oompa loompa." Smon said

"I know. I hate the beach." Ave replied, getting into a bathtub of soothing aloe stuff.

 

5 MINUTES LATER!!!

 

"Ok. I'm ready again." Ave said, back to her normal pale state. she grabbed a shotgun and preped to fight anti tim.

 

"What happened to your armor?" Mashi asked.

"I had to ditch it. Cortana was being a bitch."

[St. Jimmy]

Jimmy (wearing Darth's old MJOLNIR armour) headed straight for the afore mentioned cookies. Packing a Pistol and blue. Sat down in the corner (out of boredom) and waited. (just like a good saint should)

[DarthAve]

Then a call phone rang. Avery picked it up. "Hello? Okay, okay..mhmm...buy."

 

there was a pause

 

"My mom just called. She wants-"

"your mom just called." Mashi interrupted

"Nice. she's gonna help us destroy anti tim."

"Cool. How?"

"She's going to send me a box."

"Filled with what?"

"I don't know, but it's coming via UPS."

Then Dale Jarrett drove by in the big brown truck and gave Ave the box.

 

She opened it and inside was the magical weapon. Silly string. Cans upon cans of silly string.

 

"They must of had a sale!" Ave yelled.

[Miss_Mayhem]

"Um..." Tim interrupted as everyone seated their rears and helped themselves to cookies and cocoa, looking very fangirl/boy-ish prepped to SQUEE!, "We dont really know where the Anti-Tim is yet. He keeps hopping back and forth between dimensions. So far, we've only been able to use that freaky transport device that Farnsworth made to teleport to locales in our world. Without the proper tech, we can't dig up deep-web portals. The tech that can and does is very complex. Not so as C++, but our programmers would have to learn another computer language."

 

"So what then?" Smon asked.

 

Tim shrugged, eating another cookie, "But that Weinermobile would be a start. It has tracking devices, which explains how it knows where our employess are so it can terrorize them. And that tracking device would lead us straight to the bad-evil people-d00derz controlling it. And they'd be close to Anti-Tim without a doubt"

 

Mayhem licked her lips free of crumbs, "The Wienermobile is apperantly by the docks, according to this redhead."

 

Tim's eyes narrowed, "Then to the docks you must venture!"

 

Mashi said, "Umm...how? We still don't have an Anti-Tim car, and I have yet to see any cabs we can split driving through the streets from the windows."

 

Tim nodded, "If it's an Anti-Tim mobile you need, it's an Anti-Tim mobile you get! Manny, take them to the garage!". He tossed a set of keys to Manny.

 

Manny grunted and left the room, beckoning the others to follow. No one left right away, there were autographs to get. Descending down a thin elevator, the gang found themselves in a dim parking structure. manny grudgingly pointed to a car.

 

Gasps.

 

It. Was. Awesome! Much like the Batmobile, but with enough notable differences to prevent copyright-infringment. For example, the big DF on the doors. Or the 2HB looking all badass on the hood.

 

Mayhem w00ted, and pulled out a bow and a slingpack of arrows, "Tme for me to do what elves to best: shoot random things using utter proficiency with pointy sticks!"

 

*cue Batman action sound*

[St. Jimmy]

"NIce!" Jimmy had shedded the armour. "It hurts my wings... SILLY STRING!!" "WOO!! Now we have everything we could possibly need!"

[Miss_Mayhem]

"Except a clue or logic!' Mayhem replied. Somehow, Steve ended up driving. What a crazy world we live in. With a screeching sound, ther ATM (anti-Tim Mobile) skidded out of the parking structure (Mayhem making sure to make a face to Manny), ready to meet with the monster car.

 

"How is Steve driving wihtout arms?" someone asked.

[St. Jimmy]

How is anyone living without wings? Jimmy demanded.

[Miss_Mayhem]

'How can anyone live without wicked elf abilities?" Mayhem retorted.